Ever since Marc and John came out, I felt like things were different. And not just in a all-three-of-us-are-dating-each-other kind of way. It was more that people were talking about us now. A few times, I'd been asked if it was true, which, when I answered 'yes', was always followed by 'how'd you manage that?' or 'I thought they hated each other'. I was even asked how big their dicks are and which one of them was bigger. But it was TJ who asked, so I never actually answered him, only swatting him away from me like a bug.
To be honest, I still hadn't seen either of them naked yet, even though it had been almost a week since we officially became a thing. Of course I wanted to, but part of me was worried about getting into another situation like what happened with Jordan. I knew they'd never do that to me, and they'd proved multiple times that they would come out to the school. Everyone knows now. But a tiny part of my brain still thought that once I gave myself to them, they'd turn their backs on me and move on to someone else.
I was the kind of person that people forgot about. My whole life, I was the one who was left out or looked over or ignored, especially by my own family - the people who were supposed to always be there for me. Who's to say John and Marc wouldn't do the exact same thing and forget about me as soon as they were done with me?
Currently, we were eating dinner in the dining hall. Marc sat on my left and John was on my right. TJ sat directly in front of me. It was how we'd been eating all our meals since Monday. Five days of this and I think I was finally getting used to it.
"So," John said, breaking the silence that had fallen between the four of us. "It's Friday night."
Marc scoffed. "Looks like someone finally learned the days of the week."
I nudged Marc's side. As much as they've decided they liked making out with each other, they still bickered just as much as they did before. Usually, it had been turning into a lot of sexual jokes and indeunos, though, which made the whole dynamic in the room different. Not that I was complaining about that.
"Are you sure you guys like each other?" TJ asked. I kicked him under the table. "Oww. What? It was a serious question."
Instead of letting the conversation get completely sidetracked, I turned to John. "What are you thinking? For tonight?"
I felt like I didn't want to know the answer, even though I asked. Or, I'd want to know, just not in the middle of the dining hall.
"Well, there's no classes tomorrow," he said with a smile. "And that means you don't have to spend all night doing all your homework. So maybe we can have some fun tonight, is all I'm suggesting."
I'm sure my face turned bright red as I felt it heat up. Did he really have to say that here, of all places? Or so loudly? I knew I shouldn't have asked.
"We have the LGBT meeting tonight," TJ said, reminding me that he was still sitting at our table and heard everything John just said.
I looked at him with disbelief. Did he think I forgot about it? Okay, maybe I did, but so what? I didn't have to go to every meeting. It's not like they counted attendance.
"There's a meeting for that?" John asked.
Marc scoffed again. "How can you attend this school forever, be into guys, and not know there was a club?"
John shrugged. "Guess I never really thought about it. Not that I even needed a club to tell me where the gay guys were. I got plenty of that all on my own."
TJ's mouth dropped open. "Hold up, what?" he exclaimed. "Spencer wasn't your first guy? Why didn't I know this?"
He looked at me when he asked that last question, so I shrugged. "Wasn't my business to tell."
He dropped his gaze to his plate and, in a quiet voice, asked, "Were you never interested in me, then?"
John inhaled slowly and I watched as he eyed TJ carefully. From the way TJ always talked, he seriously disliked John, mostly because of his reputation, which was understandable. But did a part of him secretly like him, too?
"To be honest," John said. "I had my eye on you at the end of last year. Would have probably hit you up this year, but then I met Spence. And, honestly, you wouldn't have wanted me to want you. I would have just used you and never gotten to know you. You're a good guy, TJ, but I'm not into you like that."
TJ nodded slowly. "Okay," he said slowly. Then he stood up, grabbing his plate. "I'm gonna head to the meeting a bit early."
None of us said anything else as TJ started walking away. I felt bad for him. He must have convinced himself that the only reason John didn't like him the way he wanted him to was because he was straight. I couldn't imagine how he must be feeling knowing John had been with other guys - or had even considered him in the first place.
"I should go, too," I said, getting to my feet. "You know, you're both more than welcome to come as well. Everyone on campus already knows you're out. No harm in coming to a meeting, if you want."
They both just looked at each other and I wasn't exactly sure what to make of that. So, instead of waiting for either of them to make a decision, I told them where the meeting was located if they wanted to show up, then left, headed after TJ.
I caught up to him just as he walked outside. "Hey," I said, falling into step beside him. "You okay?"
He shrugged, staring at the ground. "I guess I might just be a little jealous of you."
"Jealous? Why? Because John likes me instead of you? I'm sorry." I didn't know what else to say, so I stayed quiet.
He shook his head and stopped walking to look up at me. "I guess that's it, a little. Mostly because you got both of them. And there's no one who will ever like me."
"Of course someone will like you! You're amazing and I'm surprised you don't already have guys lining up to date you."
TJ shook his head with a small laugh and continued walking. "Thanks, but I've already accepted the fact that I'll forever be alone. Maybe I'll adopt a ton of ferrets and be a crazy ferret guy. Is that a thing? Can I make it a thing?"
The rest of the walk over to the building that the club was being held in consisted of talking about the logistics of owning multiple ferrets. Not that I was much use, considering I knew nothing about ferrets, or any pets in gerenal. But the conversation definitely seemed to lighten his mood.
When we walked into the classroom, fifteen minutes before the meeting was supposed to start, there were a few guys already there. One of them noticed us walk in. I think his name was Austin.
"Hey guys!" Austin said excitedly. His face completely lit up when he saw us. "TJ, come here! I need your opinion on this."
"My opinion?" TJ asked. "Why?"
"Because I value your opinion. Now get your cute little butt over here so you can look at this."
I gave his shoulder a small nudge, realizing what was going on. "I think he likes you," I whispered.
"He calls everyone's butt cute," TJ whispered back.
Austin was attractive, I wouldn't deny that. And I had a feeling I knew TJ well enough to know his type or, at least, a general idea of his type, since I didn't know he liked John. But, from what I did know, Austin fit pretty well.
"Get over there and flirt!" I gave him a little nudge in Austin's direction. Hopefully, something could actually happen between them.
I ended up helping set up for the meeting, which mostly consisted of rearranging the desks for some game we were going to play. I didn't know what game it was, but I was looking forward to it nontheless.
Then, just before the meeting was about to start, the door banged open and there stood Marc and John.
"'Sup, bitches!" John exclaimed, strutting in like he own the place. He walked right over to where I was sitting on the other side of the room. "Can we join?"
"Yeah, of course!"
I felt everyone's gaze on me as I jumped to my feet to grab two more chairs. I knew they all knew. During set up, I was asked even more questions about them. I told people I didn't think they'd come to the meeting, because I really didn't think they'd want to. But here they were and I was really happy about that, especially because TJ hadn't left Austin's side since we got here. Instead of having my best friend for the game, I had both my boyfriends. What more could I ask for?