* sensitive content
*fictional story, please don't take the events seriously.
Behind the smiles displayed on their face, they have their hidden bitter memories in it. No one knows, it's a secret between them.
It's been awhile since Bin found the truth of Yejin's past. Yes he did secretly followed Yejin during their high school time and found out hers is actually worst than Bin. I mean he couldn't just stand still so he tried to talk to Yejin. At first, Yejin ignore him but Bin always assure her to tell him what is really happening. He promised her he won't worse any condition, but she should tell the truth. So she did, and Yejin trust him with all her heart. Bin as well at that same day, Bin's past revealed to her. He admitted he is grateful to share his past. To be told, Yejin is the one who cure him, letting him respect more on woman figure from their heart not as sexual pleasure. Although, he did flirts with woman but he didn't cross the line. The problem was with Yejin, she is trapped in her past.
————
*Flashback
From far there was a little girl watching a harmonious family. They talk, play, joke, everything that should be done by a perfect family. Here she was peeping through her bedroom door accompany by Ahjumma. Yes, she was raised by one and only Ahjumma.
"Ahjumma.. should we play like them?", little Yejin pointing towards her sister and parents.
"Ahjumma... come on..., Yejin is bored", she whined while shaking Ahjumma's hand.
"Uri Yejin, you better study and get a perfect score. They must be proud of you if you could achieve them..", Ahjumma advising her hoping her family could actually share the same love to her.
"But Ahjumma.. I just want to be like them..", Yejin keep whining.
'Like them', always been part of her childhood vocabulary. It comes naturally out of jealousy when she herself couldn't be treated the same.
Although Yejin has proven them by her academic achievements, she got nothing. Her sister who even barely passed the test was praised highly compared to her. It's weird, Yebin could get the tuition, she didn't. Yebin could get her prize, she didn't. Yejin tried everything to make them pay attention to her, but everything failed.
Her Ahjumma seems like a teacher and mother for her. She didn't give her kiss, toys, or expensive things, but she did gave her warmth, love, and life lessons preparing for her adult life. Ahjumma knows she could actually revenge on her parents, but she always remind her to respect them, after all they are the one who made her. Yejin valued it well, even until now she always keep that in mind.
Days by days seem hurtful to Yejin, she was slapped, pushed, basically abused. Her sister, Yebin didn't help her. The only thing she did was watching a cartoon in the TV while her being hit not far to that TV. Yejin always grateful, she at least can alter the pain by changing her focus to the TV, lessening the pain she endured.
Because the physical and emotional abuse she got when her childhood, it actually grows when she gets adult. She couldn't bear any loud noise shout to her, well except her parents. She just couldn't handle her hand tremor and cold sweat drenching on her face. If it actually get worse, she actually get fainted and had to do her treatment. That's how affected her past memories to her. Insomnia was undeniably treated, she only consumed her sleep pills but that doesn't work either. She only rely to her IV solution whenever she fucking gets tired.
Her birthday? Of course it is not celebrated.
*Birthday song played in the living room
"I want that..", she pointed the large beutiful decorated birthday cake and plentiful presents.
"I want that too..", her tears slowly fall to her little cheeks. This is the first time Yejin let her tears fall. All these time, she don't mind what's happening to her, but as she grows, she knew her parents didn't love her. The jealousy keep burdening her mind which she could forget it till this time.
"It is also my birthday too...", said Yejin with her silent tears.
Suddenly..
"Happy birthday to you..", Ahjumma and Ahjussi sang her a birthday song with little chocopie as her mini cake.
She couldn't be any happier than this. She dashed off running to them and hug tightly leaving no space between them.
"Thank you.. God had just sent me the gift", Yejin's words unknowingly made them cry.
She blew the candle and pray her wish..
"Dear God, thank you for the 5th birthday today. Thank you for letting Ahjussi and Ahjumma surprise me with a greatest gift I have. I hope Ahjumma and Ahjussi will gain their happiness as well as my family. I hope the best of them and I won't be greedy if you take away my happiness for them", Ahjumma couldn't hold anymore her tears and she runs off from the two of them.
"Why did Ahjumma leave?", said Yej asking Ahjussi.
"Maybe she is tired? Anyway, let's eat your mini cake. Ahjussi bought it special for you.", he exaggerated his words.
"Really?? Waaaa, you are my favorite person in the world. Thank you so much Ahjussi! I hope you can stand by my side until I'm an adult ok Ahjussi??"
"Of course, but then Yejin should grow as a beautiful and strong girl. Remember everything will be ok and Yejin could get over it!"
"Yes Ahjussi, I'll make sure I grow as an adult who help for others", Yejin said sternly.
"Yejinaa.. Ahjussi want to tell you something..", she nodded her head while eating her chocopie.
"As you grow older, everything might get worsen, but I know you can fight it. There will be a lot of people caring for you, even, you can get a handsome boyfriend whose always be there for you. Until that time comes, I hope Yejin can find your happiness little by little ok?? Promise me..", while showing his pinky finger. She replied her pinky finger to him.
Until that accident happened..
Yejin just arrived at home from her school, she was happily swaying her legs and hands impatiently want to play with Ahjumma. But, something catches her attention. Her sister, Yebin was lying on the floor with blood scattered all over the place.
Yejin was shocked, she stared blankly at her. Yet she did gain her courage approaching the place.
"Eonnie.. eonniee..", trying to wake up Yebin.
"Eonnie, don't make me scared, please get up." still shaking her body.
Yebin never answered her, she noticed Yebin actually grab a sharp knife over her little hands and her hands actually get cut deeply on the vein. Yejin tried to stop the blood while screaming for help. Nonetheless, her parents arrived and watching what Yejin is doing to her. They ran to Yebin and quickly brought her to hospital. Yebin lost too much blood on the way to the hospital which cause her death.
Yejin who left on the house starting to lose her self and fidgeting her hand out of nervous. She didn't realize her hands now in mess by the cut from her fingers.
"Mianhae.. mianhae....", Yejin kept repeating this word. She didn't do anything wrong, but unconsciously she keep repeating this out of habit.
Her parent didn't go home after a week, they got busy with Yebin's funeral and Yejin.. She is physically and emotionally drained.
Her parents came back to house bringing out even more cold atmosphere for her. Yejin was forcedly being dragged out from her bedroom and splashed by cold water. She shivered at the corner of the bathroom mostly due to the exposure from the cold weather. Her face turning more blue and pale even she couldn't speak out properly.
"Yejinaa.. why did you do it?", her mom said in soft voice.
"What... what I did..?", she replied.
"I ASK WHY DID YOU DO IT!!", her mom explodes.
"WHY DIS YOU KILL YEBINN!!!"
"WHY DID YOU KILL MY DAUGHTER!!", pulling her hair.
"I didn't...", uttered her.
"YOU DIDN'T??? I CLEARLY WATCHED YOU HOLDING THE KNIFE FROM HER!!!",
"YOU SON OF A BITCHH!!", splashing her more water and hit her with a belt.
Yejin did nothing wrong and endure all the pain while her body froze and bruised heavily. After that day, Yejin keep receiving the same treatment over and over again. She really didn't do anything wrong, and she just wants to tell the truth.
Everyone knows actually what happened to Yebin was her own mistake. She accidentally stabbed herself by cutting her veins from the sharp knife. The CCTV has all the recordings, but her parents always treat her like she is the one who killed her. Yejin was tired of her parents, she almost did the same thing as Yebin, but fortunately Ahjussi saw what happened...
"Yejinaa, Ahjussi know you did nothing wrong.."
"Let's put down the knife ok...", slowly taking the knife from her.
The burden carried by 5 years old girl destroyed her life. She just want to end it. As soon as possible.
"Ahjussi said everything will be ok, when is everything going to be ok.. when..",
"Yejin already promised to Ahjussi right?? Ahjussi will always stand by your side.. remember that.."
Then, everything repeated again. But this time, Yejin altered her answer. She just want to end the pain, so she admitted she killed her. She didn't mind getting all the hurtful words, she just don't want receiving any physical abuse. She knows physical and emotional abuse shared the same pain, but she needs to choose one.
She doesn't want letting any people recognize her scars, at least she is the only one who suffered and hold the pain. She still want to be looked as a strong girl in front of everyone, even though she doesn't.
The truth is because of her Ahjumma and Ahjussi, she was able to survive.
But... She doesn't know until when..
It might end tomorrow, the next day after tomorrow, possibly any time. She think there's nothing to worry about her death, everyone would be fine without her. Yes. Without her.