^ A/N: Since y'all never saw Jay's pic that's her
Amira's Pov
It's been 2 days and I still haven't been myself. Tye luckily didn't notice so he's back on tour since he left yesterday morning. Cici has been at school and staying over for tutoring but she hasn't noticed either. When I'm around people I can somehow hide the fact I want to slit everyone's throats but I'm going to a therapist today. It's 4pm meaning I have about an hour before ciara gets home. I'm in the car on the way to "seek help" but I'm only doing this so I know It's safe to be around Amir. I had Tokyo get him from me telling her I wasn't feeling good. She told me if I try to kill myself again she's going to beat my ass but that's the thing I don't want to harm myself just everyone who's done me wrong and my dad is at the top of the list. I pulled up and got out going in. It was no one here waiting so this should be quick and discreet. I stepped up to the desk waiting on the receptionist to get off the phone. "Let me call you back Mrs. Green" she said hanging up and turning towards me. "Amira Brown?" she asked as I signed saying I showed up. "That's my name" I said and she grabbed a chart with my info I'm guessing and she lead me up some stairs. "Mrs. Love your 4:30 is here" she said as I stepped in the office. Some fine as chick was bent over and her ass shape looked familiar. "Taylor?" I questioned and sure enough Taylor stood up shocked to see me. I laughed sitting down and she grabbed the chart from the girl as she left and then sat down. Good I gotta tell the chick wit good pûssy I wanna kill people. "So Amira we're going to be professional here and disregard anything we did previous to stepping into this office" she told me and I nodded. "So what are you here for?" she asked me.
"Well It all started last year. We were dating this girl and she had 2 friends who always claimed to catch us cheating but we was so far up our girlfriend's ass we wouldn't even make eye contact with another girl besides our sister and best friend. One day she sat us down and told me she wanted out because we was supposedly cheating. We let her go through our phone, where we spent our hard earned money, our gps searchs, our google, and even all our pockets to prove we had no communication with anyone but her and a few friends. She said we would stay together and she believed us but that night when we told her we loved her, she didn't say it back. We woke up the next morning being hit, stabbed, punched and some more. We couldn't move or defend ourself because she had us tied up to the bed with handcuffs on our wrists and ankles. After she felt she'd done enough physical work she put lighter fluid around the room and on the bed then a trail out the hallway and came back saying she was sorry but it had to be done. After that she locked the door and lit a match outside setting the house on fire. She had the cuffs so tight that when we finally broke out our hands had spots of skin that was yanked off and still in the cuffs. By then the room was on fire and we had no choice but to throw ourself from a 2 story window breaking our leg, rib, and getting multiple pieces of glass in our back and one of our feet. We laid there until we had no choice but to force myself to get away in case she was still there. We were covered in blood and glass yet we ran to the neighbors and got help. we got to the hospital and they couldn't even let us lay down because the glass in my back. we was held up on a broken leg as they numbed us and pulled out 23 glass shards. We got a bunch of stitches and when they asked who did it they couldn't even charge her because all the evidence in the house was destroyed. We spent almost a year looking over our shoulder to make sure she wouldn't try that again and when we had a son it got worse we feared my son would be left without us because of some bullshit lies her friends told over the fact we wasn't interested in them." I explained to her and that's only the first half. She was writing the whole time. "Why do you refer to yourself as we, us, our?" she asked. "Sometimes Amira has two sides I'm not the one you know although I do still give good head but anyway the other me snapped 2 days ago and hasn't been back since" I explained shrugging she wrote something else down. "We're not crazy just let me explain before you recommend a crazy hospital" I said cause I know she's thinking about it. "Okay tell me how that story relates to now" she instructed and I nodded. "Well in the narrative of the other me: My crazy ex showed up at the hospital when I almost overdosed calling me boo n smiling at me but I told her to leave. She gave me this weird smirk on her way out and it was unsettling especially with the look in her eyes. It was the same as when she so called 'apologized' before setting the house on fire. I shook it off and went about life. I was seeing a girl at the time as you could say and I cut her off because we wanted different things. I had to retrieve the clothes I left at her house so I went over there and her brother informed me she was fucking my ex. Of course he nor the girl knew that the girl was my ex and I got overwhelmed and kicked the door in. I went inside seeing they were indeed in the middle of fucking before I arrived and after that a different side of me came out. Hints why you're talking to the more on edge version of us. After the regular Amira snapped I came out and had the urge to kill everyone. The other side of me made us leave before I could and we went to our house mad as shit and I stared at a gun for about 20 minutes just thinking about killing my ex and everyone else who's done us wrong. When I'm around people the other Amira can manage to overpower me so no one knows that I want to slit everyone's throats and watch them bleed out at my feet. I currently found out that after I left someone killed my ex but it wasn't me there was a snipper waiting for her because she was involved in some drug deals gone wrong or something of that nature. I don't think I killed her because my gun was at my old house and I don't keep one on me so Amira finds peace of mind knowing I didn't fulfill my wishes and give in to my urges but soon I might and whoever is around might just come up dead but that's only if I decide to be the cold hearted bitch I'm supposed to be" I explained to her and she looked a little bothered. I smirked and waited on her to talk. "W-well I think you do need help and you just need to get back to your normal self then you'll be fine just avoid anyone you've had the urge to kill. I won't label you as crazy or put you on meds yet but I do need you to come back so I can see your progress." she said shakily with her words. "Don't worry love bug I haven't wanted to kill you. Your pûssy is too good for me to want to harm you" I reassured her and she fake smiled "Am I clear to have my son? Baby mother might find comfort in the fact I would never hurt my boy" I said and she looked over her notes. "Not just yet but soon" she said and I nodded walking out. I signed some sheet they gave me and left.
"We should go get Amir don't you think" I questioned myself "No not yet Amira!" my other side yelled at me and although I wanted to get him just to prove I do what the fuck I want but just because I'm crazy doesn't mean I don't still have a soft spot for him so for his safety I won't. I started driving but the urges kicked in again. This time I wanted to crash. I sped up ignoring myself telling me not to & to think about Amir. "I won't die" I mumbled to myself and crashed right into another car not even trying to. I sped through a light hoping to hit a car coming towards me but instead one hit from my side. I smiled knowing I was alive but I felt a pain in my side so I looked down and the door was broken and now in my side. I started getting dizzy and like I was going to faint but I just sat there smiling. Soon the pain was worse but I fainted before I could scream or react to the pain.
Writer's Pov
Amira was passed out and the other diver was perfectly fine but panicking & calling for an ambulance. Once the ambulance got there one of them recognized her from her club she works at and called Tokyo since she knew they knew each other. They found difficulty removing the piece of door from Amira's side but once they got it mostly out she started to bleed out so they rushed her to the hospital making her top priority in the truma unit. They got her into an o.r as fast as they could. Amira was barely hanging on as they operated but they managed to stop the bleeding and save her leaving just a faint scar on her left side and a brace on her neck to hold it in place because of how her neck went from impact. Once the operation was done the doctors were relived and sent her up to a room to heal. Since they had no idea that she wanted to crash she can't be held accountable for it and won't be kept for suicide watch again. Tokyo was rushing to get to the hospital but had to get Cici first.
Once at the hospital they were informed that Amira would live and heal within a week or two if her surgery went as well as they thought. Currently Amira is still sedated and isn't conscious but Cici, Tokyo, and Amir are in her room waiting. After about an hour Amira was starting to wake up. She woke up to an empty room because T and Cici were in the cafeteria getting something to snack on after being told it would take time for Amira to wake up. This Amira was different, she was her regular self again. No urges to kill, no longer emotionless, no longer cold hearted and empty. She was happy to be back but she soon realized she was in a hospital. She thanked god she was alive although she didn't quite remember how she got in the hospital or what she was here for. She adjusted to sit up and laid back down because of the pain in her side. A nurse soon came in after hearing Amira groan in pain. "Mrs. Brown are you ok?" the nurse asked. "yea just sore" she explained and the nurse checked her anyway. "Well everything looks fine and you'll be sore for a while due to the surgery preformed but if you need anything just push the nurse button and someone will be in to help you" the nurse told Amira who was just looking at her. She nodded as best as she could and the nurse smiled leaving. After a few seconds the door opened again but in Amira's position she couldn't see so she just closed her eyes. "Shouldn't she be up by now T? What if she doesn't wake up I mean she should be up!" Ciara said to Tokyo as they walked in. "Hey, let's not think about what if I know she'll be up soon so let's not even think about anything but how happy we can be when she wakes up" Tokyo told Cici as they sat down eating their food. Amira wanted to listen in on their conversation but she was hungry and hadn't eaten all day besides a bowl of cereal at like 7am. "who's there?" Amira questioned opening her eyes as if she was just waking up and like she was unaware of the people in the room with her. She knew she had to play it off so she continued. "Nurse? where's the button mira?" she asked as if she was talking to herself. "Amira it's just me and Tokyo we'll call the nurse for you" ciara said getting up as fast as she could. Amira smiled "What happened this time?" she asked still genuinely unsure of what she did or didn't do while not in her right mind.
"You got into an accident but the doctors say you'll be fine in like a week or two" ciara explained to Amira who was now worried. "How's the other person? Did I cause it??" Amira asked trying to sit up again but just like last time she was met with pain. "rest or you might hurt yourself Mira, and the other person was fine y'all were both going fast and collided you didn't cause it & they didn't get hurt since they hit you head on from the side." ciara explained and Amira nodded taking it in. Tokyo wasn't sure what to say or if she should say anything but Amira spoke before Tokyo could bring up Amir as an excuse to talk. "T can you come closer I can't really move my neck" amira said and Tokyo took a deep breath before getting up and walking over to the bed. "Yes?" Tokyo asked. "Can I have Amir the ther- doctor I saw cleared me to be around him" Amira said and Tokyo got Amir from his car seat and ciara helped prop Amira up without hurting where her stitches are. Amira held Amir smiling as soon as she looked in his eyes. She looked in his eyes and saw the innocent little boy who was the main reason Amira wanted to be better yet this little mishap could get in the way of that. Amira wants to continue to get help so she can get this other side of her gone or at least under some type of control. She wanted to kiss him but she couldn't move her neck.
Amira's Pov
I looked at Amir the best that I could and at first it brought a smile to my face but when I couldn't move my neck to kiss him like I usually do I bursted into tears. I tried to move but my neck brace wouldn't let me. "Amira what's wrong are you in pain?" Ciara kept asking and I just looked up. "I can't kiss my son and because of my neck and the angle I can barely see him. I killed someone! I GOT MY GU-" I was cut off my Tokyo covering my mouth. "Don't you dare finish that sentence amira you didn't cause the accident and no one died if you want to kiss amir that bad I will hold him up but don't say you killed someone" tokyo told me and as soon as she removed her hand I started to explain myself. "I went to shawn's house and she was fucking my crazy ex Destiny she showed up at the hospital when you were in my bed and she called me boo, I've see her around plenty of times but shook it off as a coincidence but I flipped out seeing shawn's hands on her naked body so I flipped out and a whole different side of me took over. The side y'all saw me arguing with when I almost overdosed, yea that bitch doesn't give a shit I shot 2 bullets into my ex and smiled as she went limp and bled onto the sheets and covers. Then I told Shawn to tell the police to meet me at the house for a shootout hoping they'd kill me! I'm guilty as fuck and there was 2 witnesses!! I also ran that light on purpose to crash with a different car! I've been crazy and a psycho for the past two days so when I said the doctor cleared me I lied my therapist told me to stay away from Amir until I snapped back and luckily during surgery I did. So yes I did kill someone!" I explained and tokyo looked shocked but took Amir from me. Ciara had backed away a while ago but I paid it no mind. "I'm taking amir to my mom" Tokyo said grabbing her things. "I snapped back I'm not going to hurt anyone I told you that!" I said raising my voice but it only made her move faster. Within minutes Tokyo took Amir and Ciara leaving. I was mad but I knew I had to stay somewhat calm to keep from snapping back since I don't know what sets that side of me off.
I grabbed the nurse button and pushed it. When she came in I had her get my phone and call Taylor. She came in and we talked then she asked questions to make me mad and see if I would snap. When I didn't she wrote I was back to normal and put her signature along with her number in case they felt the need to call and check. Once I heal I owe her a quick fuck because I interrupted her date but that's fine. I'm currently in bed doing the only thing I can do, wait and think. I can't wait to get out of here. Hospitals are now my least favorite place. Now I'm remembering Amir has an appointment tomorrow morning at 10 and Tokyo doesn't know because his doctors called me instead. I got my phone and shot a text to Tokyo along with a pic of the note saying I was clear and of course she didn't respond but at least I let her know.
I looked through pictures of Amir thinking about him and holding him even if I couldn't see him. I put my phone away cause it wasn't doing shit but making me sad. Soon I heard my room door swing open. "So you did get hurt. Damn I brought you some flowers tho. They're fake cause I don't know if you like flowers or not but it's the thought that counts right?" I heard Jay say as she came in."Thanks for the flowers and you did great with fake ones my allergies fuck up around real ones" I told her and she set them down coming to my bedside "You told me you liked hunny buns and wings so I brought those too" she said smiling and I smiled too. "How'd you find me?" I asked "Well considering 3 cars crashed and only one person got hurt and not that bad it was on my news app so when I saw your face on the footage I looked into it and plus there's only one hospital in this town it wasn't that hard" she explained laughing. Damn I crashed 3 cars not 2! "well thanks for coming my family left after thinking I was crazy" I said and she just nodded kissing my cheek.
We ate and talked & ate some more. She brought a whole pizza and I had wings. Not sure if I should be eating them but shii they good. I'll see y'all when I get out this bitch cause let's be honest. Ain't shit to talk about or do so ain't no point in me getting lost in my thoughts ranting to y'all.
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Sorry for the wait been really busy but I had to make amira a lil crazy to spice it up lol see y'all next chapter🤍