Zee has walked into Mews office looking like he had been hit by a truck.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Mew said teasing "don't tell me one of your little friends is pregnant and you're going to be a dad?" He chuckled but when Zee didn't move or respond from where he sat, he frowned.
"Zee I was kidding, that's not it right?" Mew said looking at him worriedly.
"I like Saint.." he murmured almost in a whisper. Mew didn't hear him.
"What?" Zee didn't move "Zee you're starting to worry me, what did you say?"
"I like Saint" he repeated this time looking up at Mew. Mew looked back at him shocked. He had known Zee most of his life, he had never had a serious relationship. He knew the real reason why but to hear him admit he liked someone was shocking.
"Is that a bad thing?" Mew asked carefully.
"Yes! ...No! I mean I- .." he trailed off.
Mew could Zee he was struggling with this realization.
Zee felt numb. His whole life he had made sure to never be with someone long enough for them to love him, he never allowed anyone to get close enough that he could miss them, sure he had friends like Suppasit who had been around him, but never a serious lover. He had seen what having someone walk out on someone who loves you does to people.
Mew watched Zee in silence he could see he was lost in thoughts. He sat back and allowed him to come to terms.
Zee blinked. No, why? How? He didn't even sleep with the guy! He closed his eyes. He remembered the pain he suffered when his dad walked off on him and his mother. He remembered how much she'd cried and begged him to stay, how she pleaded, telling him she loved him. His dad had looked at her with cold eyes and scorn and told her "That's your problem, I don't care if you do" and walked away not even glancing at him.
He had watched and heard his mother cry endless nights for the man she loved and had chosen to break her. He had promised himself back then he would never allow anyone to have that power over him. He wouldn't allow anyone to be able to break him by simply walking away for something as stupid as love, it was a lie, there was no such thing. He had kept people outside the walls he'd built his whole life, getting what he needed from them and then walking away, scratch free , feelings free, never allowing them to fall for him or allowing himself to feel anything for them.
But now here he was smacked in the face by the realization that someone had walked right through the walls as if they were made of air. He hadn't done anything special either, he hadn't chased after Zee or even tried to seduce him. He had just been himself and that scared him even more. That terrified him because he didn't know exactly why he liked him which meant he couldn't just pin point it and get rid of it. He opened his eyes and looked at Mew.
"I don't like this feeling" he said honestly.
"It's scary isn't?" Mew said with a bittersweet smile.
"I feel like he could tear me to pieces if he wanted to" he realized now he had been going out with more and more people, having random hook ups in the last few weeks but had not really enjoyed them, he had always felt empty right after. This was why. His heart knew what his brain had not wanted to admit. He liked Saint Suppapong.
"Mew"
Mew looked at him.
"He hates me" Zee said and it camed out pained. Like it hurt him to admit it.
"No he doesn't Zee" Mew shook his head "you guys are friends now, you been talking fine so far"
"Yes, yes he does" Zee looked at him anxious "He hates that I'm always hooking up with people, today he treated me so cold and distant, it's how I realized I liked him, well that and Mild telling me to back off"
"What?!" Mew said confused "Why would Mild tell you to back off!?" Zee had forgotten to tell Mew about what had happened because he was too shocked about the whole thing.
"I think Pufai answered my phone Friday when we had our movie date before you got there and she told Saint that she knew he was one of my little pets but that I was busy with her and to fuck off" Mew widened his eyes "I think she thought he was one more of the guys that usually calls, but she didn't tell me so I had no idea"
Mew shook his head "I told you to stop using her for that Zee, I told you it was gonna bite you in the ass"
"That's not all" Mew tilted his head "she told him you had someone too"
"She what?!" Mew stood up "Why would she do that?!"
"I don't know!!" Zee said feeling frustrated with the whole situation "but Mild said you needed to stay away from Gulf"
"For fucks sake Zee!!" Mew ran his fingers through his hair "call Pufai right now and fix this!"
Zee nodded and took out his phone.
——
Saint looked at the report in front of him but he wasn't reading it. Well he did read the first line, like 50 times. He was so annoyed. Annoyed with how Pruk liked to act all innocent.
He threw the clipboard on the table, the clattering sound echoing in the empty morgue. Reality was he was annoyed at himself because he had allowed for the little changes Pruk had done with him to affect him. He knew from the beginning what kind of person he was and still he had allowed for his heart to flutter at his little gestures "You're so pathetic Suppapong" he said out loud.
A knock at the door brought him back. Mew was standing there. He rolled his eyes and grabbed the clipboard. "What do you need Suppasit?"
"Can we talk?" Mew said stepping in.
"Sure. Do you have a case you need me to work on detective? Anything you need me to analyze?"
Saint said coolly trying to rein in his temper.
"No Saint" Mew said shaking his head " I mean as friends"
Saint laughed but it sounded forced "We are not friends detective, so if you have nothing to say to me that is not work related I suggest you go back to your office" and with that he looked back at his chart.
"He likes you" Mew said, Saint's head snapped up. "He really does"
Saint felt angry, really angry but he smashed it down as much as he could.He threw the clipboard on the table again "Oh does he now? Am I the chosen flavor of the week?! Gee thanks for telling me"
"Saint I know Zee's reputation is not the best " Saint scoffed "but he's never been in a serious relationship, he's never liked anyone before, you're the first person he's had any thoughts of being serious with" Mew had to do something, he had seen his best friend on the verge of tears earlier.
"Oh as serious as you are with Gulf? Mr. I have a girlfriend?!" Saint knew the words were spoken bitterly but he didn't care.
"I don't have a girlfriend that was a misunderstanding one of our best friends thou-"
"Yeah you know what I'm not really interested" Saint said cutting him off "Gulf seems to be okay with you having one anyway, he said it himself"
"Wait what?" Mew was now confused.
"Yeah he said he saw your girlfriend when he was staying with you at your place and that she's lovely, I'm happy for you Suppasit. Gulf's fine with it good thing he never found out you liked him and nothing ever happened between the two of you" Saint grabbed the clipboard again and walked past Mew "Now go enjoy your girlfriend and your best friend can continue to enjoy his hook ups I don't care, I have work to do" and walked off.
Mew was frozen in place. Girlfriend? He saw her? he racked his brain for a moment pulling memories of their time together.Oh God. Nida, he thought Nida was his girlfriend. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Is that why he left like that the day they kissed? Is that why he said there was nothing to talk about? He thought Mew was like Zee. Fuck.