Kabanata 19
The Revelation
GULONG GULO AKO sa nalaman ko so I decided to finally visit the Bautista's in the hospital.
Ang bilis naman yata ng mga pangyayari, Ethan's been missing, malalaman ko nasa ospital and now he's engaged?
Galit ako, I don't exactly know why. Basta nagagalit ako ng malaman kong engaged na si Ethan. Kahit hindi naman dapat ako magalit. Wala naman akong karapatan, ganon padin. Isa sa maraming babae na umaasa lang sa salita, sa mga pangako.
Pero bakit hindi manlang ba siya magpakita sa akin, o magpaliwanag. Kaya para din mabawasan ang pag iisip ko, pinuntahan ko na ito.
Bobita ka Gia! What are you? A girlfriend? He doesn't owe any explanation to you.
My inner mind just fucking slapped me that truth. So as usual, I headed the hospital remaining calm and composed.
I knocked at Ethan's room twice before Ezekiel opened it. Kaagad na dumapo ang paningin ko sa lalaking nakahiga sa kama.
What the hell? Bakit siya nandyan?
I marched my way in front of him only to see his handsome yet pale face sleeping. He looks tired. At sobrang putla niya, may sakit ba siya?
Obviously, Gia. Don't be such a stupid bitch.
"Ate, tulog pa si Kuya eh. Can you wait for him to wake up?" Ezekiel asked.
Ang bastos ko, hindi ko manlang siya binati. Matapos niya kong pagbuksan ng pinto ay dire diretso akong pumasok. Ugh, Gia! Grabe ka na talaga.
"What happened to your brother Ezekiel?"
"Hindi mo ba talaga alam ate?" kunot noo naman nitong tanong pabalik. Saglit siyang tumigil saka nagsalita ulit.
"Can't you see? He's suffering. Ilang beses na rin kaming nagpabalik balik sa kung saan saang ospital. Pero lahat wala ng magawa." ito lang ang sinabi niya. Hindi naman 'yon ang gusto kong marinig.
Ano bang nangyayari? Ang lakas lakas pa niya nung nakaraan ah?
"Ano bang sakit niya?" naguguluhan ko paring tanong.
"It's not my own story to tell Ate, hintayin mo nalang magising si Kuya para makapag usap kayo. Bibili lang ako ng makakain." matured nitong sabi saka umalis. Laki na talaga ng pinagbago, dati ay napakafriendly. Ngayon parang ang sungit na rin.
Ano bang meron sa mga lalaki, kung hindi masungit, malandi naman. O di kaya ay kumag.
I walked closely to Ethan biting my lower lip. Hindi kaya, kaya hindi siya nakapunta sa usapan namin ay nandito siya?
Nakokonsensiya ako. Fuck.
Ilang linggo rin kaming hindi nagkita matapos non. Akala ko nga ay makikita ko siya sa meeting kaya hindi na ako nagreklamo non, pero hindi. Wala siya don.
Pumayat siya, parang biglang naging matamlay ang katawan nito. Pero gwapo padin, matangos pa rin ang ilong, makapal ang kilay, pero maputla ang mga maninipis nitong gabi.
I felt the tears streaming down my face. Nanghihina akong naupo sa tabi nitong upuan. Ano bang nangyari Ethan? I thought you're going to chase after me? Bakit nandyan ka?
Miserable akong dumukdok sa gilid nito, I held his hand carefully. God knows how afraid I am right know.
I've lost Tita Rosario, even when I'm acting strong and always unaffected; I secretly mourned for her. Gusto ko lang manatiling matatag para kay Adela, ako lang ang mayroon sya ngayon. Pero labis kong kinalungkot ang nangyari kay Tita, walang may alam sa pinagdaraanan niya. We didn't even bother to ask.
And seeing Ethan lying helplessly in this bed, makes me want to scream. To cry my heart out, to ask God to not let him lost it.
My tears were blurring my vision as I close my eyes and fell asleep.
Nagising lang ako sa marahang haplos na nararamdaman ko sa aking buhok. I immediately looked up.
Ethan and his hazel brown comforting eyes. Agad akong nabuhayan ng loob ng sumilay ang ngiti sa kanyang labi.
"How are you going?" this time, it's my chance to ask him. Mas lumawak lamang ang ngiti nito at umiling, hindi sumasagot. I gave him a questioning look.
"H...Hey aren't you going to answer me?" I whined.
He just laughed at me and woke up to hugged me, tight. My eyes widened and they started to get water.
Kinakain ako ng konsensiya ko, I didn't know his sick. I should have treated him nicely, hindi yung sobrang harsh ko sa kanya.
"Are you still mad at me? Or you are here because you're shocked and didn't expect me to be this sick? Naaawa ka lang ba sa akin?" he asked calmly. I stiffened and I know he felt it.
Kaya hinuli niya ang paningin ko. I kept on averting his gaze.
He held my chin and made me look at him.
"You don't have to, Gia. I still understand if you're still mad at me. I know I'm at fault. I know." miserable nitong sabi, halos pabulong.
I looked at him still holding my breath. I started to caress his face, slowly.
"It doesn't matter now, just please get well." I emotionally said, trying to fight my tears from coming down.
Agad itong umiling.
"Okay lang ako, Gia. Hindi mo kailangan mag alala sa akin." he said with his croaky voice and removed my hand on his face.
I looked down, that move felt like a rejection.
Mariin kong ipinikit ang aking mata at nagpakawala ng malalim ng buntong hininga. I'm back at it again, with the strong unaffected Gia.
That's how my life rolls. Kung ayaw ay hindi ako namimilit. Hindi ko ugaling magpakadesperada para sa isang bagay o kahit sa isang tao. Magawa ko man, ako lang ang nakakaalam. At ang mga taong sobrang malapit sa akin.
I stood straightly, looking down at him. And nooded.
"Alright, I'm not that worried. I just wanted to check on you dahil wala ka sa meeting last time." dire-diretso kong sabi.
"I sent Yvette to represent me." his words caused my face to give him a sour look.
"Yeah, your fiancee's a good representive." I said bitterly.
He stiffened.
He looked at me with his bloodshot eyes. Tila nawala ang pagkamatamlay nito.
"What did she tell you?" his hoarse voice lingered on my ears. He sounded angry.
Inilingan ko lang ito.
"Bakit ba natin ito pinag uusapan? I came here to check on you, anong sakit mo? Ano nangyari sayo? Babalik ka ba sa kompanya?" sunod sunod kong tanong.
"He's not coming back!" may ibang sumagot para sa kanya.
Yvette's voice thundered inside the room. Hindi ko manlang napansin ang pagpasok nito.
"Yvette." Ethan warned him.
"She has to know now Ethan." she answered back, probably pertaining to me.
Nagtataka akong nagpapalit palit ng tingin sa kanilang dalawa.
"Anong kailangan kong malaman?"
"Yvette please, just let me tell her." Ethan pleaded. Yvette looks so angry and frustrated pero tila natahimik ito.
"Anong kailangan ko malaman?! Ano?" kinakabahan kong sigaw.
"I have a brain tumor." Ethan whispered, almost inaudible.
To be continued...
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#AFKabanata19