Mia 💛
It's been almost a week since I've talked to Joshua and I was beginning to get worried. All of my phone calls and text messages went unanswered. And as much as Joshua was probably mad at me, it was unlike him to go this long without contacting me back.
My nerves were getting the best of me and eventually, I got so worried that I decided to call my parents to check if they'd heard from him.
I was home alone and so I didn't think twice about grabbing my cellphone and plopping down on the couch in the living room. I unlocked my screen and dialed my moms number so that we could FaceTime.
The phone rang a few times. By the 3rd ring, my moms familiar face eventually came into view. I gave her a genuine smile because without my mom I was convinced I wouldn't be able to pull through any of the dark times I've experienced in my life. My mother was my rock.
However, once I took my moms appearance in, my smile waned. She looked more tired and stressed out than usual. I scrunched my brows together as I observed the dark circles under her eyes and the exhaustion evident on her face. My mother smiled at me but it seemed she was trying her best to hide whatever was bothering her. My mom had a habit of being strong for others and not looking after herself. And so I worried about her, especially whenever she looked this exhausted and drained. People said I was this same way. Apparently, when it came to looking after my loved ones, I had a one tracked mind which made me forget all about myself. But I couldn't help that. After Mike died, I became a firm believer in looking after my family's wellbeing and making sure they were first in my life.
My moms voice brought me out of my thoughts.
"Hey Mia, how are you today?" My mom greeted me with the forced smile still pasted onto her face. I eyeballed her for a moment before responding.
"I'm good- Mom, are you okay?" I asked skeptically. There was no way something wasn't wrong. My mother tilted her head to the side and furrowed her eyebrows as if she were confused that I'd asked that question.
"Mia, you're always worrying about something. But to answer your question, I'm fine, missy." She shook her head as if to brush my concerns off. I eyed her for a few more moments to make sure she was telling me the truth. I wasn't completely satisfied but I decided to drop the subject for now. Instead, I segued into talking about Joshua.
"Anyway, have you heard from Josh lately? I haven't spoken to him since last Saturday and I'm getting worried. He's not answering any of my phone calls or text messages soooo... I'm kind of thinking the worst right about now." My mother sighed.
"Mia, you really need to stop worrying so much. Yes, Joshua is fine. He told me about your argument the other day." My mother shook her head. "Right now, Josh just needs some space. I just spoke to him so no worries, okay?" It was a relief hearing my mom confirm that Josh was okay. I exhaled a deep breath before responding.
"I know that I worry alot but, you have to understand, he's my younger brother and I feel obligated to protect him. Especially because I couldn't protect-" I trailed off. I didn't want to bring up talking about Mike right now. My mom sighed again while shaking her head; for some reason she seemed disappointed in herself.
"I feel like I've failed you Mia. You put too much pressure on yourself instead of being the college student you should be. I understand that you love your brother and will do anything for him but, Joshua isn't your responsibility. You've literally neglected yourself because of how much you worry about others." I rolled my eyes at my mother's observation. Me, caring for my family, shouldn't be such a big deal.
"I don't neglect myself mom." I stated defensively. My mother pressed her lips together and scrunched her brows forward as if she didn't believe me.
"Mhmm... Tell me something Mia...when was the last time you dated? Or when was the last time you had fun without worrying about other people." Ha! I nearly laughed. My mom had no idea how eventful my life had been lately.
"For your information mommy dearest, I've been doing all of those things and more." My mother raised a single eyebrow with curiousity.
"Oh really, tell me more..." she encouraged and I smiled.
"Well... I've gone to parties, I've hung out with friends, and I even have a-" I paused to build suspense. My mother still had her brow raised, waiting for my answer. I laughed as I continued. "...I have a boyfriend now." I said on an almost whisper. It was weird to say this out loud, especially since Jared would now be my first boyfriend.
I watched as my moms eyes got bigger and widened with shock. Once everything finally processed, my mom squealed like a kid in a candy shop.
"You have a boyfriend and you haven't told me about him yet?!" My mother's eyes brightened while I blushed.
"Yeah, our relationship is pretty new." I smiled.
"Well go ahead, tell me more, baby." I didn't know what to say at first. Jared was handsome.... I thought to myself but then realized I was drawing a blank on all the other qualities that I wanted to share with my mom. I shook my head and chalked it up to being so worried about Joshua.
A weird thought crossed my mind and I wanted to see how my mother would react. My voice was hesitant and unsure as I garnered the confidence to ask my question.
"So mom, quick question...what if I told you my boyfriend was.... um. white- uh white-ish?" I could barely even ask the question properly. But the moment the question left my mouth, was the same moment I cringed and wished I didn't just ask that awkward question.
Why ask that? It was obviously an unnecessary question because I didn't have a white boyfriend and I wasn't planning on having one in the near future. What made it worse was the silence my mom was giving me while she stared at me through the screen. She looked like she was trying to figure out if I was serious or just joking.
Finally, after what felt like forever, my mother cleared her throat and plastered on another false smile.
"White-ish? What does that even mean? Mia, is your boyfriend white or not?" Seeing her confused reaction had me back tracking and assuming she didn't approve. So I quickly shook my head no, while awkwardly smiling.
"Uh- Forget about it mom, I just wanted to see your goofy reaction while I mess with you." My mother eyed me skeptically and I began to overcorrect myself because I could see it in her eyes that she didn't believe me. I sighed.
"Mom, I'm serious! Jared isn't a white boy. I don't even like white guys. So don't give me that look! MOMMMM!!!" I was rambling and I knew I sounded guilty but I needed her to believe me.
My mom tucked her chin in slightly, tilted her head to one side, and pasted on an skeptical smile. In response, I rubbed my fingers across my eyebrows to help relieve some of the tension I was feeling.
"Well, whoever he is, it sounds like your smitten with him." I could tell that she still didn't believe me but the more defensive I got, the more guilty I sounded so I let the topic drop.
"Yeah, well... we just started dating so i'll let you know how it goes. Don't plan any weddings anytime soon." I smiled and my mother chuckled.
"Hey Mia?" I raised a questioning brow.
"I'm glad you're finally doing okay. Don't worry about Josh, he'll be fine. Your father and I will deal with Joshua. Just focus on yourself right now. You deserve it." I smiled. I loved my family so much words could not explain it.
I knew our conversation was winding down and once that happened, I usually asked to speak with my nephew Jay before I got off the phone. Jay was now 12 years old and my parents have had sole custody over him for the past 9 years. Once Mike died, my parents brought his girlfriend to court and argued that she was an unfit mother.
After a few years of social workers and DCF constantly being called, the courts finally decided to grant custody to my parents. Since then, I hadn't seen Amy. From what my parents have told me, Amy was walking the streets and strung out on drugs. Apparently it was her way of coping with what happened. From what I knew, Amy blamed herself for Mike's death and spiraled into a deep depression which lead her to drugs. As a result, she was not able to care for Jay properly.
I might sound ruthless, but if you asked my opinion, I honestly didn't care. Amy should feel guilt every damn day for the rest of her life. My brother's death was a senseless act and she was partially to blame.
I brought my attention back to my mother.
"Where's Jay?"
"He's actually in his room. Hold on, let me get him." I paused and waited for Jay to get on the phone.
At the same time, I heard the front door unlock and seconds later, Rebecca strolled into the living room. That Becky girl and I barely talked these days, especially after the whole murderous car incident. I avoided her like the plague.
Usually, as soon as Rebecca walked into my vicinity, I would kindly excuse myself without another word. But, today I was comfortable on the couch and despite my better judgement, I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt that she could be normal and leave me the hell alone.
But the moment that Rebecca appeared in the living with a smirk on her face and her hands on her hips, I knew she would be trouble. Why was Rebecca now standing in front of me? I was still waiting for Jay when Rebecca began to speak to me.
"Hey Mia..." she paused and waited for my response but I ignored her so she continued anyway. "...That's okay, you don't have to say anything, just listen...I know your going through a tough time with your brother and it's unfortunate what happened with him but I promise I'm going to help him get through this because that is what family is for." I scrunched my brows together. What the hell was this bitch rambling on about? She made it seem like Joshua was in trouble or something. If I hadn't just spoken with my mom and been reassured, then Rebecca's words would have concerned me.
I was about to respond when I saw Jay come into view.
"Hey auntie." He said with a mop of auburn curly hair covering his face. I smiled at seeing my nephew. If anyone was genuinely a nice person, it was Jay. I opened my mouth to speak when, in Rebecca's true creepy fashion, she interrupted us.
"Oh my gosh! Is that Jay? Can I see him?" How the hell did she know my nephew?
I was about to object but Rebecca was fast as she swiftly grabbed my phone out of my hand and smiled directly into the camera. I immediately stood up to grab my phone but stopped short when I saw rebecca's face contorted into an emotional mess. I furrowed my brows? What the hell? A stream of fat tears began to fall down her face as she gazed longingly at my nephew.
"You're even more handsome than I thought you would be." Her voice was low and filled with so much emotion. I'd seen enough! This whole interaction was probably freaking Jay out so I launched my hand out and finally snatched my phone from Rebecca's grasp. I then stomped away and headed into my room; making sure to lock the door behind me. I peered down at my screen and Jay looked so bewildered.
"Uh, who was that?" He asked me with his brows knitted together. It was tough living with someone with an untreated mental disorder. The scariest part was that Rebecca was unpredictable. Whenever I saw her, my instincts always screamed for me to run.
I tried to reassure my nephew.
"She's my roommate. Don't worry about her, bud." I dismissed Rebecca and didn't think anymore about her or what she said. I knew she was delusional so she could miss me with all that bullshit that she said.
Jay and I spoke for a few more minutes before I promised him that I would come and visit him soon. I gave him air kisses before I ended the call.
My mind wandered to my little brother. I was still worried about Joshua, especially after what Rebecca said. But then I remembered that my mother reassured me that everything was fine with him and to drop that subject. So, that's what I was going to do.
******************************
Vote + comment