*Drop the beat. Boom. Make way for the title. 🥳🥳*
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"I can't see."
"What?" I whispered, eyes hollow. I felt dead inside.
Everyone on the table mirrored my expression.
"What do you mean? Are you hurt?" Jimin's mother made her way towards Jimin, taking his face in her hands, feeling devasted.
I crouched next to his chair and took his face in my hands, forcing him to look into my eyes. I looked at his eyes and they looked pretty ordinary. I took my phone out, hands trembling. I could barely fathom what was going on. Jimin was sitting there like a zombie, letting us do whatever we wanted to do to him. He looked destroyed.
I switched on the flashlight in my phone and flashed it on his eyes, looking for a pupillary reflex. It was normal, putting me at ease and making me annoyed at the same time.
What was the freaking issue? A number of possible options came into my mind. Glaucoma? But he didn't have diabetes. It could be a possibility though.
My mind and body went rigid with worry. We had to treat him immediately. I ran towards the doorway to get the car key and ran out of the house to get the car out. As soon as I was done, I rushed in to move him to the car.
His parents kept bombarding me with questions. I just told them that I wasn't sure and that they should try to stay calm. His mother was bawling and his father just stayed seated in his chair, looking grim.
"Dad, please help me move him to the car." I asked him, heaving heavily for breath.
My words didn't make their way to him. He sat there, in his own world. It was only when mom woke him out of his dreamy state, that he rushed forward to help me.
Jimin didn't utter a single word throughout the ride. He sat there, broken. Not a single tear left my eye this time. I was done with all the sh*t that life was throwing at me. I was done.
It was like I was standing in front of the demon called life who decided to destroy me and I stood in front of him, not willing to give up.
(The fact that I edited this picture just for this. 🤣🤣)
I was not going to give up against this war. Throughout the ride, I kept telling Jimin that it wasn't anything serious and it would be alright once we treated it.
I made sure to tell him that it 'wasn't' an issue, instead of wouldn't to give him hope. Of course nothing was wrong. I wouldn't let things go out of my hands anymore. I had been through more than enough stuff, these past few weeks.
We rolled him into the hospital's emergency section of the ophthalmology department, in his wheelchair. I kept rubbing his shoulder, reassuring him that it would be alright. We had arrived in my hospital, and I had asked my friends to help us with keeping his privacy.
As we waited for the doctor to finish checking him, I contacted Joon asking him to inform his company about the issue and to help us with keeping things undercover.
"Also, Joon?"
*Yeah, anything more?*
"Please don't tell the other boys anything yet. I don't want them to worry about anything. We have troubled you gu.."
*Saura, stop worrying about us. You both have been facing all the wrath. We can't do anything other than watch you guys go through all that sh*t. We feel bad as it is. Don't think about us at all. We get it. Totally. Just...... Take care of Jimin. I am thankful that he has someone like you taking care of him. Thank you.* His voice broke in the end.
I had been holding myself up well for so long. Damn he made me cry. Tears rolled down my cheeks of their own accord.
"I will. He matters more to me than we all could ever have imagined." I started crying. Hard.
*Please don't cry. You have been a pillar of strength for him. Jimin even told us proudly that you have been putting up with things so bravely.* His words only made me cry harder.*Please stay strong for him. For all of us.*
I nodded, even though we were speaking on the phone. He cut the call, saying that he would come to us soon. Of course, I told him not to but he asked me to shut up.
That caring bastard.
I went back to Jimin just as his checkup got over. I rubbed my face with a tissue to get rid of any evidence of tears.
"Who's with him?" The doctor asked.
His parents rushed towards the room and so did I.
"Good morning professor." I greeted her with a grave face.
"Oh, you look familiar." She looked at me, in thought.
"I am a final year intern of general surgery here Prof." I replied, bowing.
"Ah...yes. I've seen you around. How are you.... his girlfriend?" Her eyes widened.
I nodded, eyes moving towards him. Before she could be more inquisitive, wasting more precious time for us, I urged her to tell us the cause of the issue.
"Corneal scarring. Must have happened during the accident." She said.
"It can be treated right?" His mom asked, worried.
"Of course, but.."
The freaking 'but'. It made stones drop into our stomach just as we let a sigh of relief. I already knew the outcome but it still made my mouth dry.
It was then, I realized how much each word of a doctor affected the patient. They doted on every word we uttered. We had to be careful of each and every word we said. Every word.
"In his case, the scarring is deep. It has started to get infected a little. The best option is to get a corneal transplant."
It wasn't the best, but the only freaking option. I wanted him to get back on his feet just like he was.
"When can we get it?" His father asked.
"As soon as we get a donor. Until then, we'll keep him under medication. Before that, we will remove the infected part ahead of time, to prevent further issues." She explained.
"We'll get to it right away." She asked us to get ready for the procedure .
We went out of the room and his parents signed the me necessary papers, as the nurse explained the procedure to them in detail.
I crouched on the floor in front of his wheelchair, taking his hands in mine.
"Jiminah."
He was sitting on his chair, leaned back, his eyes had lost focus, face grim.
"Jimin, look at me." He did, after a while. I waited patiently for him.
"It can be treated easily. I know it doesn't mean that you are not going through pain. But we will get through this. Please don't lose hope. You will be fine."
He gave an exasperated laugh, surprising me.
"Like you all know the pain I am going through? I am the one who is suffering."
I was taken aback. I bit down on my lips, not knowing how to answer his words.
"I know we can't share the pain but we care for you nonetheless. Your pain is mine too, Jimin." My eyes teared up looking at him.
Seeing me tear up, something clicked in him and I saw guilt flash through his eyes. He didn't say anything though. He just held my hands tighter.
"Sir, this way. We are ready." The nurse informed us.
I got on my feet and kissed his forehead. "I'll stay by your side. Let's get it." I smiled, drawing a smile on his face too.
The procedure got over soon and we got the necessary measures taken before we returned to our home. Joon came to visit us in the hospital with Hobi. They reassured us more than Jimin, promising to help us with anything if we needed it.
"Sorry to say this." I paused, hands fretting. "I don't even know I am in a position to say this but... "
"Whatever it is, just say it. It's fine." Hobi said, placing his hand on my shoulder.
"Jimin is very touchy these days. And this incident topped it all. He is broken." I let a huge breaths in, trying to hold my tears in. Hobi rubbed my back, calming me. "I would appreciate it if you all spoke to him normally and treat him fine. Please visit him in small numbers. Make him feel like this isn't a huge thing. He would feel that we are ignoring it in purpose. Just speak accordingly. It's a request, please."
There was huge pause.
"Sure." Joon replied, breaking the silence. He smiled as he patted my head. "You are much more mature than you look. Jimin is lucky to have you."
I couldn't even smile. Every second that thoughts of him coursed in my mind, made me fall into a void deeper than before. When would he get alright? He was in so much agony. I just wanted to take the pain away from him.
Thee were hardly any traces of the once happy child that I had seen in his eyes. All I saw was a limitless abyss in his brown eyes, every time I looked into them.
Hours passed into days and not a single night went by peacefully. I stayed by his side when I had time off. I tried staying as cheerful as I could, not looking too happy to piss him off too. We spent each night, waiting for a doner to show up.
We were both trudging over thin ice, keeping our foul moods in check around family.
But it couldn't go on for ever. Nothing remained happy in my life forever. I should have known it. Every happy event was always followed by something sad.
Tae and Jin visited us some day in the following week. Jimin's parents had left for grocery shopping.
Both Tae and Jin were speaking normally, cracking little jokes from time to time.
I was making them coffee in the kitchen, watching over them, adoringly as they spoke. But Jimin still looked dull. He barely cracked a smile.
"Jiminah, why are you so glum? Cheer up." Jin asked softly, trying to cheer him up.
"Are you kidding me Jin?" Jimin asked, rudely.
I froze at his words. My hands losing strength, as I placed the jar of sugar that I was holding in my hands on the counter.
"What?" Jin replied, completely taken aback.
"Are you all finding my situation funny? Do you think I haven't noticed how you all have been acting around me like nothing is wrong? I lost a f*cking eye and my legs too. I lost my life. And you are asking me why I look sad?" He shouted.
I made my way to the hall looking at him, vexed.
"Huh, I am going through all the s*hit that could ever happen to a person in life. I freaking lost my career. What am I supposed to do now, huh? Sit around and eat, without an eye, mooching off my parents?"
"Jimin!" I raised my voice at him, eyes depicting the anger that had been suppressed in me for so long. "Look at whom you are talking to. Why are you letting yourself go at.."
"And you. Just shut up." He bit back at me.
I felt my heart missing a beat at his words.
"I see you running around me tired of all this just as much as I am. Aren't you done with me yet? You fell in love with a successful idol who was earning in millions. Now look at me! I am blind and paralyzed too. What good will I ever do to you? Leave me when you get your chance, this is your best chance."
I walked towards him just as he finished his sentence and raised my hand to hit him, when I remembered that he had a fractured head with a stupid brain inside. I fisted my hand, bringing it down slowly, letting a huge breath out.
"Why didn't you just hit me? You got to that level huh? Go ahead, hit me."
He was testing me patience real bad.
"Jimin. Stop it. You are taking your anger out on the wrong person." Tae said. His face showed his restrained anger. He was probably angry with him too.
"Just leave. Both of you. And you too. If don't need you here anymore. I am sure you'll go away by yourself in a few days. Go live with that ex of yours." He gave a dry laugh. "I heard that he was there with you in the hospital, all night. Good for you! Now that I am out of the way, you can date easily..."
"Shut up!" I screamed. "Shut up, will you? Shut that trap..... Do you want me gone that bad? Is that what I meant to you after all these days?" I smirked, laughing. I couldn't believe my ears.
"Seeing how you speak with him and all, I wonder if you ever loved me. You were with me for the money right? You and your pathetic acts. Just leave me alone already. You don't have to act like you care about me..." He fought back.
"For the money? You ever remember me asking you to buy stuff for me? You should have dated a money digger to know my worth. Do you think I had it easy dating you? I spent every second with you , in fear of getting caught by the media. I wanted a normal life too. I loved you. It must have blinded me way too much to see the poison in you. My mistake that I took care of you and stressed myself out. Now I can see that you used me."
"Did I ask you to take care of me? You never had enough time for me. You were never with me when I needed you. Also, use you? Look at yourself? You think I used you when I could have had any girl way more beautiful than you?"
Wow. Love yourself my a*s. I chuckled as something finally snapped inside me.
"Then why did you date me?"
There was no answer from his side. I was happy that I got the last word in.
Before he could finish, I stormed into our room. His room. It was no longer mine. If he wanted a break up that bad, all he had to do was ask. All the stress from the exams and the accident caught up to me finally as I blew the lid off. I had had enough sh*t from everyone in life. I needed some time for myself. If he wanted me to leave then, I will. Very gladly.
I had already brought very few things and it became easier for me to pack. I was packing my bag when I felt a hand on my arm. I pushed it away and turned around to face Jin looking at me, eyes speaking his sadness out.
"Please don't leave. He needs you..."
I shook my head. "I don't care anymore. He crossed the limits long ago. Words like those wouldn't have spilled from his mouth, if he had loved me for even a single second."
Jin took the bag away from my hand and made me sit on the bed, squatting on the floor in front of me.
"I know that you both are stressed out . But this is not it. Please understand.."
I let my tears out from their restrains. Jin just sat there, caressing my hands silently. My tears dried quickly as the words that he said replayed themselves over and over in my head, fueling the anger in me.
I wiped away my tears and stood up.
"I don't know what the future holds but he has damaged my ego way too much for me to look him in the eye the same way again." I looked down at Jin. "Don't contact me again. Please."
I took off the stairs with my bag, Jin still calling out to me from behind.
"Let her go." Jimin said sarcastically.
My heart was enduring all the strikes that he was throwing my way but this time, it completely shattered.
"Live a good life." I said to him, looking into his brown eyes filled with malice for the last time. My mind wailed at the fact that this would be my last memory of him. Him looking at me like I was worthless.
I shut the door and stepped out onto the road.
Starting a new life.
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Author's note:
I knew that this would be the longest chapter. I cried while writing the hospital scene and I am really not in the mood for a happy note.
Until then,