The rest of the training Poe managed to give her that day was largely uneventful. Mostly directing her posture and where to put the pressure when she kicked or punched her target. The best part, Sola only managed to fall twice, and Poe hadn't needed to catch her on either occasion. Both times she'd reacted fast enough to either lad on her hands and knees, or roll back onto her feet. Her reaction time was getting better, and by the time they were done that evening, the pilot as her coach, was pleased.
The offer of further teaching had been offered to her after, whenever the Commander was free before his next departure, he would check in on her progress and test her skill to make sure she was getting stronger and hadn't forgotten the manoeuvres.
For one reason or another, Sola took that time and held onto it with both hands. Spending any time with Poe was a treasure, he always either seemed to be busy, or off base. To waste his precious time on some lowly mechanic who tinkered with droids all day, it wasn't something she took lightly. She was thankful.
Still, however. She worried about taking up his time. Surely he had more important tasks to tend to. Other people to spend time with. He spoke highly of his pilots, they were like his family, the way he smiled when he spoke of any of them hurt her heart every time. Sola both wished she had a family like that, and that he was off in their presence rather than her own.
Lizzy and Rose were becoming like family to her in a way, like sisters. She had even been introduced to Paige, Rose's sister on one occasion. She was a little older than Rose, taller and with sharper features. But just as kind, and just as passionate.
"Some of the other pilots were talking about going to a bar on D'Qar tonight" Paige explained as she sat with Rose and Sola at the side of the landing strip for lunch.
"We should go, all of us" It was an obvious invitation, one that made Sola look up from her sandwich to blink at Paige.
"Sure, but I might be a bit late, Lazslo wants me after lunch for something he needs help with" Rose grinned, excited by the prospect of getting off base for the evening. She wasn't one to drink really, but sitting in a crowd of rowdy Resistance members sounded too good to miss.
"Sola?"
Gosh, was it time to answer already?
"M-Maybe..." In comparison to Rose, the idea of being around a group of rowdy, drunk people didn't quite appeal to Sola as much. Even if Dameron was around, she wasn't sure seeing his lovely face in such a noisy room was worth the heart trouble afterwards.
She did want to try, try and adapt to such an environment. To enjoy spending time with her new friends and not frighten away into a corner just because the volume around her rose with cheers and laughter. One day her heart rate wouldn't pick up like it did when she arrived on base. Sola wanted to make sure of that.
"Can we walk there, t-together I mean, I've never been away from the base" Arriving there with someone she knew was a good first step to ensuring a smooth start at least. It meant the mechanic would have someone to guide the way and sit with, instead of turning up late after being lost for an hour and then frantically needing to search the room for their faces.
"Of course, I'll pick you up and we can meet Paige there" Rose, being the saint she was, had waited patiently for the debate in her friends mind to calm before she spoke enthusiastically at her request. Patting her shoulder as she went on about meeting the other famous pilots again, and if she'd be able to speak to any of them. Paige assured her she would.
Being from a desert planet meant Sola didn't have much in the way of clothing. Especially clothes which could be considered fancy in any way, meant for special occasions such as this. Which resulted in a rather lousy simple little dress that just reached her knees and was an auburn colour to be being thrown on. With only two pairs of shoes on hand, Sola opted for the brown boots which were cleaner than her work pair and grabbed the simple jacket the Resistance had provided her with on her arrival to cover her shoulders. Her hair remained up in a half bun to keep most of her face open and free to cool off in the crisp D'Qar evening air.
"You look great!" Rose commented to her while they were making their way to the bar where they'd meet Paige. Sadly Lizzy was on nightshift that evening, so it was only the three of them that night.
"Thank you, I like your hair too, it looks cute out of the ponytail" It was the first time the blond had seen Rose's hair out of it's endearing little band made of wire.
The pilots were a rowdy bunch. They took up half of the bar by the time the two mechanics arrived to join Paige at the table she'd reserved for them to sit at. Laughing and drowning in their drinks with more cheer than Sola had ever seen in her life. The buzzing energy was contagious enough to bring a smile to her own face, even if she was a little nervous of being judged in this environment.
"I got us a round of the house drink, careful, it's strong" Advice, as thoughtful as it was, came a little to late. The drink had already worked its way halfway down her throat by the time Sola heard her, resulting in her choking on the strong alcohol and coughing until the burning in her throat subsided.
"N-No kidding" The blond laughed softly while Rose took a small sip and wrinkled up her nose in disgust. To be honest, the drink wasn't half as bad as the bantha-piss they served back on Tatooine. It was just, very strong.
"Care to join us for a game?" Jessika Pava spoke up with the question directed at the table, her own drink spilling from the rim of her large glass as she placed it on the table and looked around at each of them expectantly.
"I've never played any..." Sola mumbled her reply after Rose and Paige had already agreed, making Paige chuckle while she stood and wave her over regardless.
"Don't worry, we'll teach you, it's not as hard as it looks"
With all due respect to the pilot, she was talking absolute shi-
"I-I think I lost again..."
Rose leaned over the blond mechanics shoulder to check her cards before nodding "Looks like it".
Even after having the rules explained to her twice, and with Rose and Paige helping her over each shoulder, Sola was terrible. Jessika only seemed to giggle more, and Snap was so far into his hundredth drink he was half hanging off of his chair.
The other pilots in the circle, the names of which she'd learned were L'ampar, Kun, and Oddy Muva, didn't mind her continuous losing streak and took it in good humour, drinking with her while she grumbled under her breath. She had half the mind to blame the alcohol on this occasion.
Poe on the other hand thought it was hilarious. He was seated on her left between Paige, who sat beside her, and Snap who kept bumping into his shoulder. The Commander had brought them all round of drinks already and insisted they not gamble him into another. Every time he laughed at her loss, Sola became more irritated.
For now the alcohol had calmed the anxieties she experienced when first entering the busy large room, forgetting what anyone might think of her here and instead focusing on remembering the blasted rules of the card game she not only forgot the name of, but she kept losing. Dameron and his cocky grin were getting on her nerves, she knew he didn't mean it seriously, but being laughed at by his squadron, in front of everyone, it wasn't the best first impression.
"Aww c'mon, no need to pout, not everyone can be as good as me at everything" Poe taunted her two seats down, waving his cards in her direction while Jessika shot him a look that told her she agreed with the statement in Sola's head. Poe was a cocky bastard.
"Shut it Dameron, it's her first time" The pilot snapped at him leaning forward in her seat to try to speak to Sola directly.
"Ignore him, he's just happy he isn't the one losing for once"
"Careful Pava otherwise the next round of drinks is on you!" Poe argued back with a harsh laugh that made the air around him vibrate. Jessika only rolled her eyes and nudged Snap awake at her side.
"Wake up Wexley, I need your help to take Poe down a peg he's getting arrogant again"
Snap stirred momentarily, gazing around the room before sinking back against Poe's shoulder with a groan.
"When have I ever been arrogant?!" As soon as he asked, the rest of the pilots shot a look at each other and laughed aloud like they'd just heard the best joke in the galaxy.
"Oh come on! I have a whole list Dameron, don't make me expose all your dirty secrets in front of your new girlfriend"
His new WHAT?!
Sola choked on her drink until Rose was patting sympathetically. The rest of them falling silent in their little circle to look at anywhere but the blond mechanic and a doubtful, confused Rose.
Poe was the first to speak up after having stared, dumbfounded, at Jessika for several long seconds, "She's not-"
"I'm gonna go for some fresh air" The words were out of her mouth in a flash, so fast only Rose caught them before Sola was out the front door and into the fresh air with a long inhale. Cards discarded on her seat along the way.
Air, she needed air, a lot of it and now. Taking large steps out into the green beside the small bar, Sola let her lungs lift and deflate several times before she dared to let the thoughts in her brain in.
They were making fun of her, did they think she was annoying, a joke?! A little idiot mechanic girl with a silly crush on their famous Commander. They didn't seem like bad people, each and every one had welcomed her with open arms and introduced themselves with smiles and cheers. They were charming.
But still, Sola doubted everything. Her brain screaming at her that every negative thought, every doubt she had about herself, they had thought about her too.
She didn't hate them for it if they did.
Maybe that was the saddest thing of all. Sola did not dislike anyone, even if they thought only half of the bad shit she thought about herself.
Feet carried her off past the tree line and into the thick brush of the D'Qar greenery. Needing to be away from people she kept walking, branches and leaves cutting at her exposed legs as she breathed uneven and heavy.
Poe. He had started to deny it too. Obviously she wasn't in anyway his girlfriend, and would never be anymore to him than a friend. At least she hoped they were friends in some way. But the way in which he'd argued back with such conviction, as if the notion of it as a whole was absurd. That's what hurt the most.
Heart drumming against her rib cage, Sola continued on until she reached a small clearing and fell onto her knees with a heavy breath.
It was quiet here, even the wildlife was asleep, the only noise being the rush of wind brushing against the treetops and the odd insect letting out its nightly song.
Was Dameron ashamed to know her? To tell people he knew her. Was he ashamed to share the idea that she might be his friend?
Sola put her face into her hands and rubbed until it was red before looking up into the night sky. It was littered with thousands of stars, planets and galaxies. What she wouldn't give to be on any other planet right now.
Maybe they'd let her transfer to another Resistance base. As much as it hurt to think she'd never see Lizzy or Rose again, the idea of seeing Poe's face again hurt a whole lot more.
"Sola?!" Someone was calling her from the way she had come. Male, deep, recognisable.
Poe.
Was he looking for her? Why?!
Hadn't he said enough with his tone of voice earlier?
She was fine out here, alone. It was peaceful. Nice.
"Sola, kriffing-" His voice faltered as if he'd stumbled before it picked up again, "Where are you Kid, I went out to check on you and you just disap-" he found her then, sitting in the clearing amongst the overgrown grass and weeds like a solitary mountain peak. She was still. Unmoving.
"Hey..." Voice softer, he approached cautiously until he reached her side and crouched down to examine her for any injuries.
"You okay?"
"How many stars do you think there are in the universe?"
Poe stopped and stared at her, confused. An odd thing to ask given the circumstances but he humoured her by sitting down at her side and following her line of sight until he reached the sight of the stars.
"I dunno, millions, billions, more" Tilting his head he sighed before looking at the side of her face. Her side profile was kind of nice. Her little turned up button nose, which always seemed to carry a tint of red, more prominent from this angle.
Was that weird to think? Probably.
"Why are you sitting out here?"
That was easier to answer than his previous question, but still, she avoided his face and continued to peer up while she spoke "It's quiet out here. I've never been in a forest before, I never knew it was so soothing".
Poe was surprised by that and hummed "Never? Wow. Where did you grow up?"
"Tatooine"
A low whistle rose from between Poe's lips before he snorted. Not exactly a place he'd call homey.
"You?"
"Yavin four"
She'd heard about the jungle planet, it seemed nice from what she could gather, and somehow she was jealous of him at that moment "Lucky you"
"Compared to Tatooine? Yeah" He shared her sentiment with a chuckle before looking out at the trees around them, "It's a little like D'Qar sometimes".
Wind pushed a stray hair off her cheeks, filling the silence with a gentle lull that could probably make her fall asleep right here and now if she let it.
"I'm sorry if anything we said offended you, Jessika was just joking around" It was supposed to help ease her, she knew that. But it didn't, not until he answered the raging questions in her mind.
"I know, I just-" This was Poe kriffing Dameron and she was getting nervous again, the fresh air had sobered them both up and now asking the delicate question on her mind seemed like a daunting task again.
"You don't have to hang out, or help, or see me, ever. If you don't want to" Gaze dropping to the grass at her feet, Sola proceeded to pick at it nervously while she avoided him.
He was hard to avoid however, simply with him sitting so close beside her, his body heat was reminding her of his presence.
"What makes you think I don't want any of that?" If he'd ever given her any indication of such things, Poe hadn't meant to. He thought back on every meeting, shuffling through his mind to any instance that might've unnerved her but he came up empty handed.
"Because I'm me and you're..."
Commander Poe Dameron, Resistance Pilot, Poster Boy, and General Organa's right hand man. The list of his impressive titles was endless, meanwhile Sola could barely remember her own name on some days,
"Because I'm what?" Poe sat up straight, turning his body to her fully. "Look at me Sola".
She hesitated before turning her head in his direction, staring at his chest for another beat before meeting his eyes. They looked darker in the moon and starlight, black almost. Like an endless swirling black hole that threatened to consume her in all the best ways. Maybe being sucked into Poe Dameron's endless eyes would be a good way to go.
"I'm just like you, like everyone else" He began, reaching out to gently tuck her hair behind her right ear, to her surprise, the gesture felt intimate.
"I know I'm a damn good pilot, and that I talk a lot" She waited for him to continue while searching his eyes for any hint of a lie. She found none.
"But I'm human, I can die, bleed, laugh, cry, just like everyone else. And I've lost people, just like everyone else" he was deadly serious and somehow Sola found herself nodding at him, emotion welling in her eyes.
"Everyone in the Resistance is important, pilot or otherwise"
To her, he was a hero. But she didn't dare interrupt him.
"It's about saving, protecting what we still have left. Each other, lives, families, hope"
Once again, without having even thought about the action, Poe's hand had found the mechanics face to cradle her cheek.
"We are all important, every single life. I'm not more important than you, and you're not more important than me" Doubt made her avert her eyes until he nudged her face towards him again.
"I know you can't believe that right now and that's okay, but believe that I do, and so does everyone else will half a brain cell. If anyone tells you otherwise, that you aren't important, send them to me" It was half a joke, but enough to make her bite back a smile. One that Poe spotted too quick for his own good and grinned at.
"I'm sorry if I upset you earlier" He readjusted himself in his position to drop his hand from her skin, in the wake of it, her skin burned. As if his hand had left a red handprint on her cheek she wanted never to let go of.
"Anyone would be lucky to have your heart"
Since when was Poe Dameron a romantic. So, poetic.
"I think for now, droids own it"
"So BB8 has more of a chance with you than me?!"
Sola laughed hard enough to fall back onto her hands "Sorry, I think he's my favourite droid in the entire galaxy now".
Poe gasped, laughing with her while he threw himself into the grass beside her "And here I thought my charm was effective on everyone".
If only he knew how right he was.
"What's that?" Sola gestured to his neck to which he glanced down before realising what she meant and pulled forth the chain from which a ring hung.
"My mothers, she died when I was eight"
Biting at her bottom lip, unsure of what to say at that, Sola raised a hand to place over his own which was playing with the ring. "I'm sorry".
"She taught me how to fly, used to take me out in her old A-Wing"
Her eyebrows raised as he let her inspect the ring. She was handling it like a precious piece of fragile equipment and somehow that warmed his heart.
"Really, so she was a pilot too?"
"Yep, she served in the Alliance to restore the Republic together with my father"
So that's where he got his rebellious, righteous personality from. Sola could imagine him as a little boy, running around with his family.
"So rebels run in your family then?"
Poe chuckled and nodded staring at her again before he spoke "You could say that, what about you, your family?"
Releasing his ring to let it fall against his chest, Sola lowered herself to lie down on her back and stare at the dark sky once more.
"My mother died giving birth to my sister. She was a gentle woman, from what I can remember anyway" The blond began, taking a breath to compose herself in front of Poe, "My father he...he was killed after my sister left, too much debt with too many people. He taught me how to fix droids and speeders".
Closing her eyes, Sola felt tired all of a sudden. It was late, she had been working all day, and now the stress she had experienced earlier in her head was catching up to her. "After that I lived on my own, stealing and doing small jobs usually" she didn't remember the last time she spoke so much, her throat felt rough and worn and she felt guilty again for spewing so many words.
"S-Sorry I didn't mean to talk your ear off-"
"You aren't, I asked" Poe interrupted softly, copying her position and lying back with his arms behind his head as a cushion.
"Didn't count you as a thief, it suits you though"
"What do you mean?!" Should she be offended by that?
"You're quiet and fast, and short. Makes you easy to miss if someone isn't looking for you"
He was right with one thing, she was easy to overlook, in more ways than one.
"Not to me though, not now"
Eyes flew open to turn to him in confusion. What the hell does that mean?!
"After I saw you for the first time, when you ran into BB. You were easy to pick out of a crowd after" Somehow that was hard to fathom, but Poe persisted.
"Your eyes and hair give you away" he pointed out with a smile, turning his head to face her.
"Did you dye it, your hair?"
"Yeah, on my way here, it came out weird" She had never used dye before, no one on Tatooine had the luxury to sell her any in the past. It had become mostly faded by now, only catching small hints of pink and peachy oranges in the light. The way Poe pointed it out, suddenly she felt self conscious about it, taking a long strand and pulling it between her fingers.
"Why?"
"I wanted a fresh start...I suppose, reinvent myself"
"I like it, BB8 said you should dye it orange" That made her giggle, of course the little astromerch would say something like that.
"I'd look ridiculous"
"Impossible".
Let's not unpack the meaning behind that statement right now. He was far too charming and smug for his own good her heart couldn't take much more of this.
"Save your compliments and flattery for someone who deserves it, Commander Dameron" That came out far to quick for her to stop. It was meant to be light and funny, but the truth behind the words were easy to pick apart.
"You deserve them" Poe was serious within a heartbeat and turned his body to face her. She couldn't make out his whole expression in the dark but he still held a softness she recognised on his features. Slightly upturned eyebrows, relaxed eyes, and a smile that just barely lifted the corner of his lips. If someone wasn't looking, they would've missed it completely.
"Do you say that to everyone on base?" Sola hadn't meant to tease him about it, what Poe was doing was a genuinely nice thing. But she just couldn't accept it, not for herself. Playing it off seemed like the best option at that moment.
"That they could pull off orange hair? No, that pleasure is all yours" Of course he knew that she meant. Poe Dameron had a habit if flirting and being his usual charming self, he ran his mouth with an abundance of recklessness.
What she failed to realise however was that he didn't just throw serious compliments like the one he just had slipped to her, to just anyone. He had surprised himself with the simple word 'impossible' that he hadn't meant to voice aloud. In his head however, Poe agreed, he doubted anything could make this woman look ridiculous even if she tried.
"If it's as bright as the paint job on BB8 then I'd look like some kind of vegetable" Sola snorted, turning her head away in the opposite direction to try and hide the ugly laugh that followed at his joke.
"Your hair looks nice like this" He suddenly added from beside her,
"Down, I mean. I think you had it down when I found you on my ship that night, but I was a bit drunk to remember the details" A hand reached out to the hair sprawled about behind her head, toying with it between his fingertips, Poe hummed to himself as if to confirm his statement.
Sola couldn't help but flush, instinctively turning her head back to him to see what he was doing, only to stop and stare. A curious statement to make.
"I-I prefer keeping it up...usually" She could agree however, it was a nice change. The hot climate of Tatooine had not given her many chances in the past to have it worn down. It felt nice to have it shift in the breeze like this.
"Keeps it out of my face when I'm working otherwise it gets all..." She made a motion with her hand as if to mess up her hair like it might have turned out like if she let it out of its buns or ponytail when she was working on droids.
"Trust me, I know" Poe chuckled glancing up at his own hair over his eyebrows and blowing the thick strand of a curl from his forehead. It didn't do much, the dark curl simply slipped right back into place without a care in the world.
"It doesn't look bad" Sola commented on his behaviour with a small grin. In fact, Poe Dameron's hair, to her, was just about the nicest thing she'd seen in her life. It looked soft, unbelievably so, and she wondered if it smelled more like him, or whatever shampoo he used.
"The wild look suits you, Commander".
Poe made a face at her that could only be read as 'You do?', before she shifted on her side to face him like he had done.
Mirroring his position, the arm she was now leaning on reached out to try to push that difficult little curl from his forehead. It didn't work, what a surprise. But neither seemed to care, and Poe certainly didn't want to pull away once she started.
Sola tried again, biting at her bottom lip in concentration before giving up when it wouldn't stay put and gently pushed her fingertips into the front of his dark hair. It too, looked black in the summer night, if she hadn't met him before when there was sunlight around and witnessed the way the light bounced off in soft browns from his hair, Sola too would've guessed it was black.
Relaxing into her touch, all Poe could do was watch her for a moment, admire her features, before closing his eyes. His own two fingers still playing with a strand of her own silken blond hair while she dared herself to touch him.
It was downright sinful how her hands felt in his hair. It reminded the pilot of the times his mother had done so in the past, trying to get him to sleep at night while he burst with energy on his bed demanding to hear stories of her adventures and battles within the rebel alliance. It was always an intimate action, the way she had cradled his hair and head, it soothed his senses and his thoughts until he slipped away.
Poe's hair was soft under her fingertips, slightly rugged in some places but always warm against his head and her hand. It was like a trance, once Sola began with a rhythm, she couldn't stop herself from repeating it. Back and forth her hand circled, digging in just enough to caress his scalp as she watched his eyes flutter shut, her own pair following soon after.
Until their breathing synced, small breaths casting over each other's faces and their heartbeats, unbeknownst, morphed into one.
This felt nice, it felt...right.