It was a sunny day. The seaside town of Beach City was pleasantly quiet.
"NOOOOOOO!"
Er, well . . . almost.
Inside the Big Donut, Steven Universe was standing shocked in front of the mini freezer.
"This can't be happening! This has to be a dream!" he spun around, making a beeline for the shorter shop assistant and wrapping his arms around her. "Sadie, Sadie! Please tell me I'm dreaming!"
Sadie didn't act favourably to being tackled.
"Steven, let go! I'm stocking here."
She wriggled out of his grasp and walked away, leaving Steven to slap pathetically to the linoleum. At the counter, the cashier winced.
"Sorry, man . . . I guess they stopped making them," Lars said, leaning over.
"Stop making them?" Steven clambered to his knees. "Why in the world would they stop making Cookie Cats? They're only the most scrumptious and delicious ice cream sandwich ever made! Don't they have laws for this?"
"That's life, Steven." He looked over at Sadie, crouching to stock the lowest shelves. "No one buys them anymore. I guess they couldn't compete with Lion Lickers."
Steven was beside himself. "Not Lion Lickers! Nobody likes them!" He stood and trudged over to the themed freezer against the wall, gazing through the frosted glass at the drippy treats inside. The black bubblegum eyes stained the ice cream around them, and the mouths were lopsided. "They don't even look like lions! Kids these days, I'll tell you what!"
Across the room, Sadie stood up, smirking. "Well, if you miss your ice cream so much, why don't you make some with your magic gem?"
"That's not how it works, Sadie!" he cried, then paused. ". . . Right?"
He turned to the freezer, inspecting his reflection in the glass. He raised a hand and tapped the gem against his forehead, but nothing happened. He sighed, drifting back to the Cookie Cat freezer. "Oh, sweet Cookie Cats, with their crunchy cookie outside . . . their icy creamy insides. . ." As he spoke, he drew the well-known shape on the frosty glass, and, in a melodramatic display, he gave the picture a soft kiss. "You were too good for this world. . ."
Lars stared at him from the counter. "Uhh . . . Steven? Do you wanna take the freezer with you?"
The boy gave a tearful nod.
○○○
Steven jogged happily across the sand, freezer cords fashioned into backpack straps. In a matter of seconds he was up the slope and lugging the freezer on his back up the stairs, swinging through the front door.
"Hey guys! You won't believe thi—"
And in a flash, he was knocked to the ground. When his eyes refocussed, he found himself staring into the eye of some sort of monster. Its jaws snapped just centimetres from his face, and he screamed.
A whip lashed around the creature's middle and he looked up to see Amethyst standing across the room, her hands on the weapon's hilt.
"Hey, Steven!" she grinned. She heaved on the whip and the creature went sailing through the air.
On top of the warp pad, Rose Quartz was fending off attacks from multiple creatures with her shield. In a clever manoeuvre she scooped one up and whacked it across the room. Garnet snatched it from the air and, imprisoned in her gauntlets, it was squeezed until it poofed in a cloud of greenish smoke.
As Steven watched, Amethyst darted after some getaways, and Rose tried (unsuccessfully, for the most part) to haul one out from under the coffee table. All over the room, creatures were swinging from the ceiling, chewing cushions and snapping at the TV.
"Awesome!" he said as he set the freezer down. He watched one scuttle in front of him. "What are these things?"
Rose huffed. "Sorry, Steven! We'll get these centipeetles out of your room." She picked one up and held it fast. It squirmed, head peeking over her arms. "We think they were trying to get into the Temple."
"Aw, you don't have to get rid of them," Steven said, sidling up beside her. "They're really cool!"
It was at that moment the creature decided to spit a gob of acid onto the floor in front of them. As he watched, the wooden planks fizzled and melted, leaving a great hole in the floor.
A few paces away, Amethyst's whip lashed another centipeetle against the wall. It dropped to the ground, shrieking, and then poofed.
"Uhm, you guys? These things don't have gems," she called out, scratching her head.
"That means there must be a mother somewhere nearby." Steven looked up at Garnet, now standing beside him. A centipeetle reared up next to her, jaws open, and received a fist to the face for its trouble. It poofed almost immediately.
"We should probably find it before anyone gets hurt," Rose murmured, struggling centipeetle still held firmly to her torso.
"Oo, ooh, can I come? Can I? Can I?"
Steven whipped to Garnet, eyes pleading.
Rose gave a soft laugh. "Of course!" She made a deft movement with her centipeetle and it poofed.
"But not until you learn to control the powers in your gem, first," Garnet interjected.
"Aw, man. . ." It was at that moment he noticed a centipeetle at the fridge, scrabbling at the shelves. "Hey! Get outta there!"
He ran at it and it scampered away, leaving the milk upturned on the floor. "Go on! Shoo, shoo!"
He turned and saw yet another centipeetle a few feet away, this time with a can clamped in its jaws. He sighed. "They got into everything! Not cool!"
Garnet delivered a swift punch and the incriminating creature was sent flying across the room. He shook his head, eyes returning to the freezer. He gasped.
Dozens of cat icons set against pink wrapping grinned back at him.
"No way. . ." he breathed, reaching out and grabbing one. "It can't be! Wh— Where did you get these?? I thought they stopped making them!"
Rose walked up and shut the freezer door. She shot him a proud little smile. "Weeell, we heard that too, and since they're your favourite—"
Amethyst pattered up beside them and leant against the counter. "We went out and got some for you!"
"The whole thing was my idea," Garnet said, once again suddenly beside them. She held up her hands and her gauntlets dissipated in whorls of magenta light.
"It was everyone's idea," Amethyst corrected.
"Not really."
"All that matters is that Steven is happy," Rose soothed, smiling down at him.
The boy burst into the Cookie Cat jingle, startling her.
"He's a frozen treat, with an all new taste;
'Cause he came to this planet from outer space!
A refugee of an interstellar war—
But now he's at your local grocery store!
Cookie Cat!
He's a pet for your tummy!
Cookie Cat!
He's super duper yummy!
Cookie Cat!
He left his family behind!
Cookie Caaaaat. . .
Now available at Gurgens' off Route 109!"
The Gems burst into laughter. Garnet even gave an appreciative applause.
Steven turned to Rose. "I can't believe you did this! I'm gonna save these forever! . . . Right after I eat this one."
He tore off the wrapping and gazed at the ice cream treat. "Hello, old friend."
He took a bite and closed his eyes in delight, chewing slowly. As the Gems watched, his gem began to glow, casting light over the kitchen.
Steven, oblivious, went on rambling. "Mmh, so good! I like to eat the ears first."
Rose covered her mouth with a hand, eyes sparkling.
Garnet and Amethyst glanced at each other before the smaller Gem spoke. "Uh, Steven?"
Looking up, he suddenly noticed the pure light filtering through the kitchen and gasped. "Wha—? My gem!"
"Quick!" Amethyst cried. "Try and summon your weapon!"
"I don't know how!" as he spoke, the light began to fade, and he pranced about in a panic. "It's fading! How do I make it come back!"
"Calm down Steven, breathe," Rose offered, taking a step towards him. "It'll come back—"
Meanwhile, Steven was a sweaty mess, staring desperately at her.
". . . Yeah, and try not to pass out, either," Amethyst put in.
But their efforts were fruitless. The light retracted back into his gem, and everyone sighed. Disappointed, Steven dumped himself on the floor.
"Aw, I was really close that time!" his shoulders slumped and he stood, putting the now-melting treat back into the freezer, and turned back to the Gems. "Can one of you just explain how to summon a weapon?"
"Oh!" Rose raised a hand, grinning. "I'll go first!"
○○○
She stood in a field of roses, hair drifting in the gentle wind. She crouched by a pink rose bush, cupping one of the delicate flowers in her palm.
"Take a deep breath in," she told him, and did so herself, closing her eyes to savour the scent of the gorgeous flowers. "This is my favourite scent in the world. . . it's so soft, and delicate, and beautiful." She stood, turning to him and smiling. "Does it make you happy?"
Steven didn't know quite what to say. "Uh . . . yeah?"
"It makes me happy. And the gentle breeze . . . some days, I like to sit and watch the tide come in. The first time I summoned my weapon, I felt truly content. You could summon yours the same way."
He looked on as she closed her eyes, framing her gem with her touching hands. The shape between her fingers looked like an intangible heart. "Of course, after the first time, it gets easier . . . and you can summon it on command."
Her gem lit up and projected a beam of light, shield materialising in front of her. She opened her eyes and grasped it, grinning. "Like so."
Steven turned to the bush beside him and took one of the white blooms into his hands.
Half an hour later he stood outside the Big Donut with Amethyst cupping the same rose. He dipped his head and breathed in the exquisite scent, trying to concentrate.
"Did Rose tell you the flower thing?" Amethyst asked.
"Yeah . . . I have to find a way to be really happy and, uh. . ."
"Content?"
"Yeah, to summon my weapon."
"Steven, all that 'looking for contentedness' stuff doesn't work. You need to practice," Amethyst told him. "Now, whenever I need to summon my weapon, it just happens."
Her gem glowed instantaneously and she pulled out her whip, twirling it around her head before she lashed out and secured a grip on a twig in the gutter, flinging it into the air.
"See?" she smiled proudly, tossing the thing away. "I didn't even need to try."
The twig hurtled through the air, arcing over the roof of the shop. A second later, there was a thunk and a yell.
"Agh! What the heck?" Sadie's voice cried. A string of profanities typically followed.
Steven's audience with Garnet didn't help much either. He met her on top of the grassy cliff, by the lighthouse.
"So I'm supposed to work really hard and not try at all at the same time?" Steven asked her, confused.
"Yes."
He stood there forlornly, wind ruffling his hair.
"Or. . ."
Steven didn't pick up any of what she said after, but it sounded like a lot. He was left feeling more confused than ever.
○○○
"I think my best bet is to recreate what happened last time my gem glowed — soo. . ."
Back at the house, Steven pointed in turn to the counter and the fusion's previous spot beside it. "Garnet and Amethyst were here and here."
The two sidled back to their respective positions.
"Rose was next to the fridge—"
When he turned, Rose was already standing there, a soft smile on her face.
"Hmmm. . ." He thought for a moment. "Amethyst, I think your arms were crossed?"
Amethyst laughed and folded them for him. "Okay, Your Majesty."
"And Rose! You were . . . facing this way and . . . yeah, like that! And you had your hands together."
Rose followed his instructions. "This might just work!" she beamed.
"And Garnet—" He grabbed her face and tilted it back a little. She followed his direction limply. "Uhhh . . . yeah."
He grabbed his half-eaten Cookie Cat from the fridge and tore off the wrapper. (Amethyst's gem lit up as she discreetly stretched her arm past him to pick it up.) ". . . Then I took a bite of this Cookie Cat."
He scrunched his eyes shut and took a little nibble. When he opened them, there was no pearly light to be seen. He sighed dejectedly.
"Maybe I'm not a real Crystal Gem."
Rose sat down next to him. "Don't be silly, Steven, of course you are!"
"And you're fun to have around, even if you can't quite control your gem yet!" Amethyst put in. "You're one of us, Steven! We're not the Crystal Gems without you." Her smile was warm and genuine. Garnet nodded to affirm her point.
Steven's eyes shone. "Yeah! Even if I don't have powers, I've still got . . . Cookie Cat!"
Rose watched on delightedly as he took a bite. Amethyst looked a little disappointed.
"So good!" he murmured, and it was at that moment his gem decided to light up again.
As Steven munched on, oblivious, something thin and pointed rose from his gem and expanded, hovering in the air above him.
Garnet and Amethyst gasped.
Rose squealed. "Steven! It's a spear!"
He opened his eyes, confused, and immediately locked onto the floating weapon. "Whoa, what! I get a spear? Yes!!"
At his excited outburst, the gem's hold on the weapon broke and it was sent flying, bouncing comically off two walls before it implanted in the wood at Amethyst's feet.
She took a nervous step back.
Glancing at the treat in his hand, Steven had a brainwave. "Cookie Cat! I summoned my weapon by eating ice cream!"
"What's in these things?" Amethyst murmured, turning the packet over in her hands.
She promptly dropped it when a deep quaking ran through the house. Dozens of shapes crawled past the windows with a low rumble.
Steven's spear dissipated.
"What was that?" he asked, hushed for once.
The three Gems ran outside with Rose in the lead. They all craned their heads.
"It's the mother," Garnet said, and with a burst of impressive energy, she launched herself onto the temple statue, leaping up its face to reach the leviathan creature.
"Steven, stay in the house!" Amethyst yelled.
Steven was in disbelief. "No way, I'm coming too!"
He ran back into the house, gathering an armful of branded ice cream sandwiches, and a tangled bunch of extension cords (from who knows where).
Outside, Garnet landed a strong kick to the creature's head and scrambled down to the beach. Rose landed gracefully on the grass beside her and set Amethyst back on her feet. Barely giving them time to adjust, the creature reared above them and let loose a stream of acid. They all scattered.
Rose barely had time to gather the Gems behind her and summon her enlarged shield before they were rained on with more of the sizzling substance. Garnet mustered her gauntlets and stared at them uselessly.
"We need something long-range," Amethyst said, and groaned. "Steven's spear would've been perfect!"
The stream of acid dissipated and the Gems all looked around to see Steven standing before the giant centipeetle. He set the Cookie Cat freezer (with its many extension cords trailing behind) firmly on the ground. "Leave them alone!"
Garnet and Amethyst peered around the sides of the shield. "Steven, no!"
"Cookie Cat Crystal Combo powers activate!" the latter cried in typically dramatic fashion, shoving the rest of said treat in his mouth.
Needless to say, nothing happened, and Steven was sent running with his freezer to (not-so) safety.
"We need to save Steven!" Rose cried, and her shield was rocked with the force of a blow from the creature's behind.
"We need to save ourselves first!" Amethyst rebutted.
By this time, Steven had gobbled all the treats in a panic, but the only response he was getting from his chubby little body was a gurgle from his stomach. "Why isn't it working?!"
The creature roared and spat a stream of acid at him, and he leapt away, hearing a hissing noise and looking down to realise that a few droplets had caught his sandal and were eating away at the rubber.
"Steven!" Garnet cried, popping up from behind Rose's shield, and the monster dropped its tail-end claws down upon them, scraping against the barrier.
Steven lifted his head at the call, only to gasp in horror. A few feet away, his empty Cookie Cat freezer lay, half-melted and sparking pathetically.
"No," he cried, and ran over. "No, no no no no no no!" The metal was dented, and the glass broken, and Steven hung his head. "Cookie Cat. . . he's the pet for your tummy."
Behind Rose's shield, the Gems strained against the onslaught from the rabid creature.
Feeling a surge of anger, Steven stood, clenching his fists. "Cookie Cat—he's super duper yummy!" He grabbed the limp cord and ran to the monster, dragging the sparking machine behind him. "Cookie Cat—he left his family behind!" And then, with all his strength, he lassoed the freezer into the air and then threw it, watching as it arced up into the air and landed on the creature's back. The thing screamed as electricity coursed through its body, shocking its hair out into spikes and lighting its body up with a fierce white light.
"Now available. . . nowhere," Steven mourned, and dropped to his knees on the sand.
"Yeah!" Amethyst cried, watching the creature shriek.
"Gems, weapons," Garnet commanded, and in a flash of light they exploded out from behind Rose's shield, backlit by the dimming sunlight and standing tall, sparkling with the residues of the summons.
"Let's do it," Garnet said, and her companions nodded in unison before they all rushed forward, raising their weapons—
The creature exploded in a billow of glittering smoke, leaving the green banded gem to drop to the sand. Garnet bubbled it and sent it away.
Behind her, Steven pushed the dirt back over the hole he had made, sealing the last Cookie Cat wrapper in its shallow grave. "Farewell sweet Cookie Cats," he said, eyes wet, and stuck a leaf into the small mound as a marker. "I'll always remember the time we spent together."
His belly grumbled. "Shh, hush now."
Amethyst crouched behind him. "Are you. . . crying?"
"Only a little!"
"Well I guess your powers don't come from ice cream," she said, and set herself on the ground.
Rose laughed, gliding up beside them and kneeling beside the boy. "Well, it was a good guess. Don't worry Steven—some day you'll find out a way to activate your Gem! You just need some time."
"Yes," came Garnet's voice, and they both looked up to find her smiling down at them, hands on her hips. "In your own Steven-y way."
Steven smiled back. "I'm okay, guys! I just—" his stomach gurgled, and he clutched at it, looking a little green. "Uh, I think I ate too many Cookie Cats."
After regurgitating his stomach contents onto the makeshift grave, Steven found he felt a lot better. He ate another ice cream sandwich to celebrate.
Of course I had to switch Sadie and Lars. Don't judge me.