So imma put the picture of whichever member the chapter focuses on, hope thats all cool with y'all. warning, this chapter is graphic (Mentions of assault, and abuse). basically this whole chapter is a flashback, but its important. there are still parts of it with BTS in it, so don't skip this plz. now, on with it!!
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READER POV:
When the monologue began, I mouthed the words along with the narrator. At the final two words of the speech, a single tear fell from my closed eyes, and just like that, I was home.
FLASHBACK :
I lifted the arm of the turntable and placed it on the already spinning record, relaxing blissfully when the crackling sound came through the speakers, alerting me to the fact that the music was about to start. I lie down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, enjoying the purity of the sound reaching my ears.
I listened as the record continued to play, excitement bubbling up inside of me as Act IV: Spaceship was over, knowing that Knee Play 5 was coming on after.
The first note of the song began, and I immediately recognized it, welcoming the familiarity of the song. Then, the singers joined in, singing the count of the song in two parts.
1, 2, 3, 4, I tapped my finger on my stomach along with the beat.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, I began to hum the soprano part lightly, my eyes closing in bliss.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, I raised my lips into a smile, letting the highest note in the song ring out loud and clear through my room.
Next, the two women join in with a cluster of disorganized, seemingly random words. After hearing the song over and over, I realized, it was not so random after all. It directly reflects the ways in the mind of a genius.
Oh, how I wanted to have such thoughts. Those thoughts of a genius, so pure yet sporadic, so gentle yet still bold and daring.
I often times sat here and listened to this opera, more specifically this song in it, when my parents were fighting. It just made things easier. It always drowned out all the curses, all the shattering of glass, all the collisions of fist on skin.
It stole away my full attention, and I let it happen.
The violin was beginning now, sweet and melodic.
The monologue was just starting when my step-father burst through my bedroom door, startling me.
"The day with its cares and perplexities is ended and the night is now upon us..."
"Bee, get your worthless-" my stepfather began, only to be cut off my the sound of my mother's screaming voice saying: "Bee, turn the music off and get out of here, now! Run, pleas-"
There was a thud and another scream, soon fading out pitifully. My step-father was back, breathing heavily, bottle of liquor in his hand carelessly.
"Now, as I was saying, if you don't get your worthless, lazy ass over here in the next five seconds, you will wish your mother got the abortion she should have." he spoke cruelly, eyes raking over my body, making me shiver with disgust.
"...the night should be a time of peace and tranquillity, a time to relax and be calm..."
I stood, not even bothering to turn off the music, letting it continue playing. I walked carefully over to him, making sure to have all my movements be slow and calculated as to not make a sudden move that may upset him.
"You're wasting my time, hurry up!" he yelled, getting angrier with me.
"...we have need of a soothing story to banish the disturbing thoughts of the day..."
I sped up only slightly, finally reaching him, standing stiffly, only just out of his reach.
"...to set at rest our troubled minds, and put at ease out ruffled spirits..."
"Who." He spoke, voice thick and heavy with anger.
"W-what do you mean, who?" I asked, trying not to let my voice display my nervousness, failing when it cracked and I stuttered.
"...and what story shall we hear? ah, it will be a familiar story..."
He grinned crookedly, amused with my fear of him. He pulled the liquor bottle back and thrust it forward at the wall to his right, smashing it against it. I jumped a little and looked at the now sharp and jagged broken bottles edge with wide eyes, shards on the floor glinting and glimmering in the light of the setting sun.
"...a story that is so very, very old, and yet it is so new..."
"I asked you, who?" He repeated slowly, treating me like I was dumb, "who were you with yesterday, huh? Who is so important that they take priority over your own family?"
I gulped down the rising lump in my throat, simultaneously swallowing back the tide of tears that were threatening to spill at any moment.
"...it is the old, old story of love..."
I almost laughed at the word when I heard it. Family. Did he really think he was a part of this family? Legally, yes he may be, but in the meaning of the word, not a chance.
"It was nobody, I promise." I finally said, eyes tracking each subtle movement of the broken bottle carefully.
"...two lovers sat on a park bench with their bodies touching each other, holding hands in the moonlight..."
"Ah, so it was nobody?" He echoed menacingly, "well, why don't you go tell this Nobody guy, that I don't appreciate him stealing MY daughter away from me, how's that sound?"
"...there was silence between them..."
I stared back defiantly at him, not daring to utter a single word.
Suddenly, nearly at the speed of light, there was a balled up fist on my left cheek. The force of the impact sent my head flying to my right, an audible crack emitting from the joints in my neck.
"...so profound was their love for each other, they needed no words to express it..."
I sucked in a sharp breath of air at the sudden blow, a hand coming up to brush across my new injury tenderly.
"...and so they sat in silence, on a park bench, with their bodies touching, holding hands in the moonlight..."
He grabbed my hand and ripped it away from my face, using his grip on it to tug me aggressively to him.
"...finally she spoke..."
"Don't you dare touch me, you filthy bastard." I spat, not even caring what happened to me after.
"...'do you love me, john?' she asked..."
"What the fuck did you just call me, bitch?" He said, dangerously quiet.
"...'you know I love you, darling.' he replied. 'I love you more than tongue can tell'..."
"You heard me. I called you a filthy bastard, and I meant every word of it." I said back, my gaze not even wavering for a second.
"...'you are the light of my life. my sun, moon and stars'..."
My step-father let out a guttural scream and pushed me backwards, hard. I stumbled back and tripped over my feet, landing less than gracefully on my backside.
I let out a cry of pain when he suddenly was on top of me, the jagged edge of the broken liquor bottle pressed harshly to my throat.
"...'you are my everything, without you I have no reason for being.'..."
My breaths were coming in shallow and quick with all the fear and adrenaline. He continued to press the sharp bottle into my throat, pushing with a little more force with each word he spoke.
"Say shit like that again, and you won't be able to talk again."
Oh, if only he knew how those words would haunt and effect me for the rest of my life.
"...again there was silence as the two lovers sat on a park bench, their bodies touching, holding hands in the moonlight..."
A smile cracked across my face. Finally giving up on holding back my tears, I let them roll down my cheeks, big and hot, smiling the whole while.
"...once more she spoke..."
"Filthy bastard." I said, literally spitting at him this time, a thick glob of saliva smacking onto his forehead.
"...'how much do you love me, John?' she asked..."
His eyes glazed over with so much rage I could not even begin to describe what it looked like, as he grabbed me by my hair and slammed my head down roughly on the floor beneath me.
I let out a yelp of pain that quickly dissipated into laughter, only angering him more.
He continued this action over and over again, repeatedly banging my skull into the floor.
"...he answered: 'how much do I love you? count the stars in the sky. measure the waters of the ocean with a teaspoon. number the grains of sand on the seashore'..."
My laughter echoed through out the small apartment, everything becoming drowned out by the sound of my head bouncing off the floor, my laughter, and the monologue of Knee Play 5.
"...'impossible, you say? yes, and it is just as impossible for me to say how much I love you'..."
I was completing the sentences of the monologue in my head as they came, allowing the carefully chosen words to comfort me.
"...'my love for you is higher than the heavens, deeper than hades, and broader than the earth'..."
My vision was beginning to blur, likely from all the abuse my head was taking.
"...'it has no limits, no bounds. everything must have an ending, except my love for you'..."
And I guess this must have been my ending, I thought to myself. Surprisingly enough, this was absolutely alright with me. The thought alone of being finally free from this hell of a life was incredibly relieving.
"...there was more of silence as the two lovers sat on a park bench with their bodies touching, holding hands in the moonlight..."
My vision continued to diminish, my accuracy of mind was also beginning to go. At some point, I may have heard police sirens, but then again, I may not have. I also may have felt sticky blood leaking from the back of my head, but then again, I may not have.
"...once more her voice was heard. 'kiss me John.' she implored..."
I let my eyes close slowly, and used my voice probably for the last time, to complete the final line in the monologue out loud.
"And leaning over, he pressed his lips warmly to hers in fervent osculation."
END FLASHBACK:
My eyes flew open at the feeling of someone touching my shoulder. I leapt almost a foot in the air on the park bench in fright, fresh tears falling from my now open eyes.
The person who I assumed touched my shoulder stepped back in shock, eyes wide.
"I-I'm so sorry, I saw you sitting here by yourself crying and it was so late at night to be all by yourself and I was worried because you were crying and I didn't know if you were okay or not I just wanted to make sure you were alright and-"
I gently placed a raised index finger over his surprisingly soft lips, causing him to be quiet, blushing a little at the sudden intimate contact.
I sighed softly and relaxed my shoulders a bit, removing my hand from his lips to wipe my face free from all my tears.
"Again, I'm sorry to bother you, but I recognized you from the coffee shop. You're Bee, right?" He said softly and gently, slowly taking a seat next to me on the bench, facing me slightly.
I nodded, confirming that I was in fact Bee. He let out a light breath of relief a my confirmation.
"I don't know if you remember me, but I'm J-hope from the group of guys at RoyalTea."
I nodded again, reaffirming that I remembered him. He smiled widely, his lips making a cute little heart shape around his white teeth.
I blushed and smiled too, how could I not? It was absolutely contagious.
"So, can you not hear? Or is it that you can't talk?" J-hope asked cautiously, not wanting to offend me.
I pointed at my lips and shook my head. He nodded, seemingly getting the message.
"I know you can't, so I won't ask you to talk about why you we're crying. Just know that I am always here for you, no matter what. Feel free to write it down or message it to me if you want to." He spoke gently, reaching for my hand and looking into my eyes. In turn, I intertwined our fingers and looked in front of me with a small smile on my face still.
Two people who just met sat on a park bench, bodies touching, holding hands in the moonlight.
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AWWEEE SHITTTTT this got a whoooole lot more intense than I imagined going into this. well uhhh thats that for this chapter I guess. lemme know if y'all have any ideas heheh!!!
Love,
J-Queen