It was like what, 6 months since I started accepting my fate to be beside this weird girl. When I started wandering off to the world without a human form, I wanted to became at peace but everyday when I try to open my eyes I am in a familiar room again, this girl's room.
It was almost the 7th month of my death and I am just wandering around the streets of Seoul like a normal human, except no one can sense and see me, fun fact about ghosts we can walk or float whenever we want. We don't get hungry or feel tired but we can still feel things, and I mean by emotional things you know?
I was in my old university and it was almost 8PM when some of the students were going home. Some college kids really are overdoing themselves.
I saw a familiar face suddenly, isn't that that girl's boyfriend? What's his name again? Doyoung? He was on a date with another girl in a fancy cafè, I can't help but follow him and eavesdropped on them.
"So, how are things in the restaurant?"
"So-so." He said, "I have this girl waitress who's very hardworking, I can feel she really likes the job. She doesn't even get paid that well but still she works overtime."
"Or maybe she likes you." The girl in front of him raised an eyebrow, "all your staff does"
"Aye, you're jealous? Don't worry, I don't see her like that. She's too young and naive for me. Besides, I already have you."
I can't help but feel mad at him, why does this kind of guy exists?
When it was already night time, I saw that Doyoung guy walk Koeun home again, that weird girl seemed to be confessing now as she was stuttering beside him.
When they reached the front steps of the apartment, I went behind Koeun and levitated myself to merely show that I was clinging on her shoulder,
"I like you, Doyoung oppa." She said, this girl seriously is in another level
"Eun-ah, I appreciate your confession and—" and that's my cue, I made myself be seen by that Doyoung guy and made it look scary, like my nose dislocate and blood everywhere on my face. I saw his shocked and scared expression before I disappeared again.
"Oppa?"
"I'm sorry, I don't like you." Then he hurriedly walked away, more like ran away though.
Koeun felt heartbroken and stomped her way inside her bedroom with a heavy feeling.
I felt bad in a way but it is for her own good. She sat on her bed, the usual routine when she gets heartbroken, then closed her eyes to do her yoga.
As far as I know, she is a yoga enthusiast, whenever she has a problem or is going thru something, she does yoga.
Days has passed and I decided to go to the location where my accident happened. It was the day of my death today and I wanted to celebrate it even though it was a tragedy.
It was so vivid but still I can feel the intense rush and emotion I felt that day. I closed my eyes and sort of travelled today, I went to visit my brother in Chicago, he was in his usual work place today. Attending some patients as he was rushing back and forth with some of the other staff.
I followed him and saw how his expression was sharp and focused. He's always so dedicated in his work.
It was about 2 hours later when he finally finished all his tasks, for now at least, and he was now resting in his table.
He then held a picture frame that was placed on his desk and stared at it. I knew it was our photo, his favorite photo of me.
"Today's the 7th month, Mark." He said, "7 months without you seems so long but I still feel you here beside me."
Because I am beside you, Johnny hyung.
"I miss you, Mark. Everyday." I saw a tear shed his eye as his grip on the frame tighten. I can't help but also feel pity and sad as I stand beside him and wrap my ghostly arm around him, hugging him tightly as I can, so he could also feel my presence here.
"Mark?" He called, I let go of the hug and watched him, "it's you isn't it?"
I realized that he was talking to a butterfly that was inside his office. I smiled and realized that every time I wanted them to feel my presence, this insect comes in the right time.
I hugged him again as the butterfly landed on the top of his knuckles, he smiled and sheds yet another tear as he nodded.
"I miss you, little brother. I hope you're at peace whenever you are right now."
"Doctor, patient Lee is awake." That's my cue to go away. He wiped his eyes and stood up instantly, carefully placing our photo back on his desk before rushing outside his office.
I smiled and stared at our photo before closing my eyes and going to another country, Canada.
I saw my mom and dad were driving their way back home after finishing work. They were trying to call Johnny hyung but seems like they can't reach him, if only I could tell them what his situation is.
"He must be busy." Dad said, "he'll call back later for sure"
"Our sons were always not answering our calls even back then."
"You know how independent they are."
"We raised them well." Mom said and suddenly started sniffing, she was crying. The car stopped as I was casually in the backseat just watching them
"Oh honey.."
"If only we didn't send Mark to Korea, he might be still alive today. We wouldn't be here today missing him in the 7th month."
"We can only do so much as parents," dad sighed and hugged mom tightly "he is a good kid."
"Do you think he is happy where he is right now?"
"I think he is also missing us, he is also sad because he is seeing us sad."
Wow dad! you know me so well.
"But I know he is at peace." I smiled and went in between them at the car as I wrapped both my arms around them, I miss them so much.
"Mark, if you can hear us.. we love you so much." Mom said as she wiped her tears away
"We are proud of you, son. We miss you so much. I hope you also are proud of us."
I do. Always.
As it was getting darker, I saw my parents having dinner while skype-ing with my brother Johnny who was also having dinner by himself at his apartment in Chicago.
They were all happily talking and eating, but it was special for them.
I was smiling all day seeing my family being okay. I closed my eyes and went back to my usual place. Koeun's room.
I was there and I saw that it was already midnight. The girl was already fast asleep, her whole body covered with a thick comforter as she breathes in heavily.
I sat on the bean bag beside her bed and stared at her. She looks so peaceful and unbothered. She's beautiful. I smiled looking at her, how can anyone ever want to hurt her?
She suddenly moved a bit and groaned, kicking her feet slowly as she was looking for something with her hands while still fast asleep.
I stood up and went closer to her as I know she was having a bad dream. Koeun usually doesn't dream often but when she does, you can really read her expression whether it was a bad or a good dream.
I slowly pulled her bamboo pillow near her hands so she can easily grab it, it's her favorite thing in the world and she can easily fall back to sleep when she has it beside her.
She groans again as she hugged the bamboo pillow closely before reliefly sighing herself back to sleep.
I chuckled at her actions. She's cute, I can't deny that.
Months has passed, Koeun was dating another guy. A kid actually, college junior Lee Donghyuck.
They were always going on dates and guess who always pays the bill? Yes, the noona. It was like their 3rd time dating for this week and I, as a ghost/guardian of this weird girl is getting tired already. She was so blinded by this kid's affection that she may be forgetting she has a life too.
"Noona, you look prettier than usual." He said, I was sitting at their table while they eat at this restaurant near his school
"Eh? I didn't do anything unusual."
"You just look prettier everytime I see you." And I saw the look in Koeun's face, it was a wide smile, she was so taken aback by the compliment. Aigoo, this weird girl is so touched by his words, aigoo.
After their date, Donghyuck needed to go back to his classes while Koeun was left at the restaurant to pay the bill, once again.
I decided to follow this annoying Donghyuck kid just to see what he is up to the usual. He is majoring in Music, seems like he is a good singer.
"Oppa, ready for practice?" One of his classmates, I assumed, asked; walking towards the piano as she smiled widely at the boy
"You bet, sweetheart." He said and winked at her. Aigoo, this kid is also a player? Wow, I'm in shocked.
Why does Koeun always go out with playboys and douchebags.
I followed him until he finished his classes and training. He was walking with this piano girl side by side, I was just tailing behind trying to listen to their conversation.
"I heard from your Renjun oppa that you've been seeing someone else? Is it true?" Busted, Lee Donghyuck.
"I am." Now, I'm shocked. He's so straightforward "but only because that noona is rich."
I can't believe he is using her for money? Is he that poor?
"You're so pathetic." She said as she shook her head.
Yes, you are Lee Donghyuck. And now you need to pay for your bad deeds.
He was walking home alone whistling as I decided to scare him a little. He was unbothered by the wind noises, so I took it up a notch and made a few loud sounds.
"Who's there?" He said, stopping in his tracks as he looked around, when he finally looks in front I appeared so close to him he fell on his butt.
I have a face full of blood and my eyes were so wide you can almost see it pop off.
"P-please, I'm not a bad person!" He was scared I almost laughed loudly but I need to be in character, "I'll do whatever!"
"Ko Eun." I said in a deep voice, "back off."
"Yes! Yes!" He shrieked, "I will! I promise!"
I disappeared after that and in a few minutes, Donghyuck was running for his life. That's when I laughed out loud. I can never get tired of scaring people, really.
I flied back to Koeun's room and saw her watching a series on Netflix. I sat on the beanbag and stretched my arms as I stared at her for minutes.
The next day, I saw Koeun pacing back and forth in her room, talking to someone, assuming Donghyuck, on her cell.
"You're being unreasonable." She said calmly, "just tell me what I did wrong.. yah!" She then slammed the phone on her table and sighed heavily.
I stood up and crashed on her bed as she was ruffling her hair frustratedly.
"Boys are just hopeless." She muttered as she went in her closet and pulled out her yoga mat, the usual routine again.
I laid down, tummy side down, and watched her intently as she does her thing. I really felt bad for always meddling with her love life but if she continues to be with the wrong guy, she'll ended up hurting herself more.
I sighed as I stared at Koeun again. She looks so peaceful, calm and unbothered. She is truly, genuinely beautiful.
I can't help but think if only we'd met each other before the accident, maybe she wouldn't end up with douchebags as boyfriends because we'd be the best of friends, and I'd helped her with dating stuff and finding the right guy for her. Or maybe even be the right— no, that's not right, what are you even thinking, Mark. You know it's not gonna happen.
It'll only be another 'if only.'