Yeosang stumbles.
No, he doesn't trip over his own feet, nor does he fall over something on the deck. His knees simply buckle under the weight of his father's words, as if they've lost all ability to keep him upright, and he actually stumbles, nearly falling to the deck before Wooyoung catches him by the arm and hauls him upright, concern written all over his face.
"What?"
Hongjoong whirls on Kang Yongsun, eyes going dark. "You have exactly five seconds to get off my ship before I open fire on the lot of you scum."
Something sharp, painful tugs at your chest, and you tug on your captain's sleeve lightly, his intensity burns. "Captain... you swore not to..."
He bites back a hiss, eyes still never leaving Captain Kang's face, true to his reputation as an exceptional commander he does not seem to be fazed the slightest by your captain's threat. Instead, he doesn't even look at him, eyes fixed only on his son.
"But..." Yeosang stutters, face as white as a paper sheet and mouth working soundlessly as he searches him mind for words. "But... But didn't Mother run away from home after giving birth to me? Didn't she-"
"We told you that... but at that time... the family believed that you were the one who caused your mother's death... after all, she died giving birth to you, and that birthmark under your eye..." Kang Yongsun pauses, voice turning grim. "Well, people believe that birthmarks are signs that you've been marked by Fate... that you're a curse to the family you're born to."
Yeosang swallows, fingers tentatively reaching up to touch the dark blemish resting on his cheekbone. His whole life, he's known what his birthmark means, knows that he should be grateful that he's even alive when some other members of the aristocratic class would rather kill the child at birth rather than have the public finding out about them having a cursed, blemished child...
"I loved your mother..." Kang Yongsun says softly and Yeosang is broken out of his reverie as he stares at his father, not once in his life has he seen his father so openly and emotionally vulnerable. "I loved her more than anything else in the world, Yeosang. Her health was always bad since the two of us were young, but I insisted on marrying her... and after we got married, she insisted on having a child even though the physicians told her not to..."
Something cracks in Yeosang's chest. His father, the love was genuine, the love for his mother so real he can feel it himself. For the woman that has never been present his entire life, for the woman who gave birth to him, for the woman who he's never met.
"Father..." Yeosang begins to say but Commander Kang puts up a hand, some sort of sad smile twitching on his lips. "I will not lie, I believed that you were the reason I lost her. The second you were born, I never even got to hold you in my arms, instead I was holding my wife and your mother as I watched the life leave her eyes... and she asked me, 'Is the baby alright?' with her last breath... and I hated you for that, Yeosang."
"That wasn't even his fault-" Wooyoung pipes up angrily, stepping forward but you catch his arm and drag him back much to his protest, your eyes are still fixed on the Commander, the pain of his loss shining so strongly in his gaze that it takes your breath away. "Let him finish." You murmur softly, and while Wooyoung sighs unwillingly he eventually falls silent, still staring at Kang Yongsun with every malicious intent he can muster.
Yeosang, on the other hand, doesn't move an inch, eyes swimming with indescribable emotion - painful, guilty, lost - because what is he supposed to be feeling? His whole life, he's known that his father hated him, and while he might have never thought much about the reason why, he's always assumed that it had been his father's responsibility; that he had simply seen something in Yeosang he didn't like. But to find out that he was the one who had been chasing after his father's back when the entire time, his very birth had been what drove a wedge between them in the first place.
"It wasn't your fault that your mother died, I know." Commander Kang says softly, and Yeosang seems like he finds it difficult to lift his head, he can't meet his father in the eye properly. "But at the time, all I could see was what I had lost. While you might not have chosen to be marked by the Fates, even though I did see you as my flesh and blood to be loved, every time I looked at you, all I could see was the cause of all my pain and suffering."
Yeosang's head hangs, tears slipping down his cheeks as he grips the hem of shirt very tightly. "I'm sorry, Father." He manages and Commander Kang merely shakes his head, eyes softening a fraction as he looks at him. "If you have anything to be sorry for, Yeosang, I have a lot more in comparison."
Yeosang's eyes widen, and one of his hands reaches behind him, you take it instinctively and squeeze lightly, so he knows you're there. The Commander takes a deep breath, looks at the sky for a moment, and continues, a little more slowly this time. "Even if you did cause your mother's death, even if I had lost her, I had no right to take it out on you."
"But then if you knew..." Yeosang's voice cracks, fingers tightening around your hand almost painfully with the weight of his emotions, "then why did you give me up to captain? Didn't you hate me? Isn't that why you tried to get rid of me?" At that, Commander Kang's eyes darken slightly, his brows furrowing.
"For that too... I would like to apologise... while I know nothing can ever make you forgive me for selling you to the pirates," his eyes meet your captain's for a split second and Hongjoong nearly growls, "I still stand by what I did. As a captain of a ship, all the members of the crew are my family as much as you were, Yeosang." You see the two officers who had a little outburst earlier nodding unconsciously along to their captain's words.
"And if it meant saving my crew, I would have given you up every single time no matter how many times I was faced with the choice." Kang Yongsun says, it's so brutally honest it nearly cuts you to the core. And yet, even if some part of you protests that he should have found some way, any way to have saved Yeosang, you too know that the Commander had been faced with no other choice. Kang Yongsun's eyes meet your captain's. "I'm sure your captain would understand what I mean."
"You should have found some way to save him." Hongjoong snaps suddenly, hand fisting around th hilt of his cutlass so tight his knuckles are nearly bloodless. You're mildly startled at the volume of his voice, wondering why on earth he seems so emotional about this, it's not like your captain to be like this. You put your stump gently on his shoulder, hoping that he'll calm down but he doesn't. "You should have done something, anything, to save him from me. That's what a father is supposed to do."
Commander Kang gives him a sharp glance. "I had no other choice in that situation. The only two options were to give something up of value or have the lives of all my crew lost. The thing of highest value at the moment was Yeosang, and it was the only thing I could think of to save the lives of the rest of my men." Then his eyes darken. "If I were to force you to give up the woman we've been commanded to search for or have the rest of your crew hung, what would your answer be then? Which would you choose to give up?"
You startle at having been so suddenly addressed, but find your eyes drawn towards your captain anyway, anticipating his answer with bated breath. Hongjoong opens his mouth, fully intending to reply sharply, but then he pauses, eyes meeting yours hesitantly.
Would he?
"But then why would you chase the Treasure down once again?" Yeosang asks suddenly and you turn away, distracted, not noticing the pained look on your captain's face as he stares at you. Commander Kang sighs, casts a glance behind him at where Gunho's body lies and gives a small, unreadable smile, filled with so much emotion you can't even begin to describe it. "I wanted to make amends, Yeosang. I thought that if the Pirate King was truly as terrifying as the stories described him to be, and yet he'd still accepted you in return for the lives of my crew, you must have been very valuable to him... and that he would most definitely keep you alive. If I found you, and you were still alive... I wanted to save you and bring you back. I wanted to start things anew, Yeosang."
Your eyes fly wide open. Start anew? Start anew with Yeosang, as father and son?
"Start things anew?" Yeosang echos your thoughts blankly, as if he can't quite believe that his father would ever say such a thing. As far fetched as his words sound, nothing raises the alarm that he's lying, or doesn't mean what he says. Every word is genuine, from the heart, determined. He genuinely does want to make amends. "You mean... be together? Like father and son? Like... family?"
"Yes." Commander Kang nods, but now there's a gentle smile tugging ever so slightly at the corner of his mouth. "Be together, just the two of us, like father and son. If you'll allow me to."
Hongjoong's expression is stony, unreadable, something dark brewing in his eyes as he watches the two of them, Yeosang's eyes slowly well at with tears at the thought. But then Yeosang pauses, turns back to his captain, and reaches over to tug at Hongjoong's hand, pulling him forward to stand face to face with the Commander.
"He's taken care of me." Yeosang tells his father softly and Commander Kang raises an eyebrow as he stares down at the younger captain with something approaching surprise. "He took care of me like I was his own flesh and blood brother, and he's saved me more times than I can count. If you're to be my father again," Yeosang takes a deep breath and looks at his captain so warmly that Hongjoong's head dips to avoid his gaze, "then I cannot have you threatening the lives of the family I made on this ship."
"The famed, notorious Pirate King took care of you?" Commander Kang says with a hint of astonishment and your captain meets his eyes defiantly, as if challenging him to deny the fact. But to his complete surprise and shock, the Commander simply takes a step back and bows - much to the horror of the officers behind him - before he speaks once again. "I thank you for that, Pirate King."
"I don't want your thanks." Hongjoong says darkly, nearly spits at Yeosang's father, and the Commander simply nods before straightening up. Your captain turns to Yeosang, concern written all over his face as he takes Yeosang's hands in his. "Yeosang, what is it you want to do? If... If you would want to return with... that man..." his expression sours at the word, but he continues speaking, "I will not stop you. It is your choice to make."
Yeosang pauses for a moment, eyes sweeping across the deck as he looks at the face of every crew member, imagining saying goodbye to each of them. His gaze rests on you and you give him a slight smile, as long as he's happy, you'll support any choice he makes, even though you're reluctant to see him go.
But then Yeosang shakes his head. Commander Kang and your captain both wear surprised expressions, although while Commander Kang's melts into understanding, your captain's darkens into something unfathomable. "This is my family. I promised to live and die with them, and so I will. I'm afraid you'll have to go on without me, father, at least until the day Captain decides to retire." He gestures at the crew mates around him and Commander Kang smiles a bit brighter this time, a little more nostalgic. "You're really my son... I understand." He sighs, and steps forward to place one hand on Yeosang's shoulder, and this time Yeosang meets his gaze with clear eyes, no longer clouded by doubt or pain. "The day your captain retires... Don't forget, that you will always have a home in me on Nassau."
The moment is so intimate that the rest of the crew turn their faces away, as do the officers behind the Commander. You find yourself looking away as well at the expanse of sea behind you, watching the sea barely shift from ink to deep blue, the sun must be rising soon.
"I know." Yeosang says, happily and so radiant you can barely look at him, his eyes are fixed on his father's back but not chasing after it any longer. Commander Kang steps back, before he turns and bows one last time to your captain, who still refuses to look at him.
"I thank you as well, Pirate King. If you were to ever change your mind about the deal, come to Nassau. I promise that I'll see all of your men cleared of all charges." He says, but your captain simply nods expressionlessly, before gesturing to the gangplank carelessly with one hand.
"Get off my ship."
"Let's go." Commander Kang orders his men and they spring to move immediately, marching down the gangplank and vanishing into the vegetation of the island, Commander Kang's eyes meet his son's one last time and Yeosang waves in farewell. Then they're gone from sight, the only imprints left of their presence the footsteps left in the beach sand and the smell of smoke in the air.
There's a long silence.
"So..." Yeosang is the first to break it, before he glances up at his captain. "That's that."
"That's it." His captain echoes blankly, not really looking at Yeosang but at where the Commander had been standing, hands still clenched tight, expression unreadable. Worried, you're about to ask him what's wrong, but before you can, your master bursts out of the infirmary with a grin large enough to split his face in half.
"Yunho's fever has broken!"
And when the deck erupts in massive cheers and squabbles as they quarrel over who is going to get to visit the lovable battlemaster first, you think that the worst might finally be behind you.
>>>
It's late at night when you step over the unconscious forms of your crewmates sprawled across the deck. Some are still clutching on to tankards of brandy in their sleep, Seonghwa had decided that to celebrate Yunho's recovery and Yeosang's reunion with his father, they would break open a keg of some of the most expensive alcohol they had on board. And as usual, they have gotten drunk, and as usual, they have been up to their antics, but, not as usual, you find yourself afraid to head back to your bed in the infirmary even after most of the crew have passed out drunk, knowing your master would be there...
You find yourself ascending the stairs to the quarterdeck, a blanket wrapped tight around your shoulders, meaning to find some comfort in the solitude. Instead, you find your captain leaning against the railing, a bottle of red wine in hand, looking out at the expanse of sea before you, barely lit by the slightest hint of moonlight peeking out from behind the clouds in the night sky. He's not drunk, at least you don't think so, so you step up next to him and rest your forearms on the railing, looking out across the sea like he is.
"Not in the mood for celebration, captain?"
"So it was me." Your captain murmurs quietly under his breath and you turn to look at him in surprise, usually he'd greet you or acknowledge your presence directly, you hope it's because he's comfortable enough around you to speak his mind freely. "In a way, when I thought I saved Yeosang..." he barks out a laugh, broken and exhausted and your heart clenches painfully for him, "I was the thing that separated him and his father."
You turn to look at your captain more carefully. His expression is blank, like white canvas, but there's something painfully lonely in his eyes, as if no one can understand what he's going through. You're suddenly seized by an overwhelming compulsion to take that off his face, to replace the darkness in his eyes with the fire you love so much. "You also saved him, though." You say quietly, and Hongjoong takes another swig of the wine, still watching the sea. "The Commander might not have realised his mistake if you hadn't taken Yeosang from him. In the end, things have worked out, haven't they?"
Your captain smiles, a bitter, melancholy smile that has your heart aching as he takes another swig, as if it can dull the pain in his eyes. "I thought I had put my own father behind me." He suddenly says, and you start, remembering the expression he had worn when the Commander had told Yeosang that he wanted to start things afresh. "But after today, a part of me just..." His words trail off, filled with such bitter longing you know exactly what he wants to say even though he doesn't.
Just wishes that could have been my father instead.
"I hate it. I don't want to think about him anymore, and yet..." he tosses the bottle into the ocean and takes a deep painful breath, fingers tight around the railing, "and yet I wonder... if there was a reason my father hated me as well? If there was something, anything that could explain why... why my father would do this to me?" His fingers trace the stitching of his eyepatch before they fall back to the side, limp.
You don't know what to say, silent and wondering yourself. So you simply stretch out your arm and he gently wraps his fingers around what's left of your left wrist silently, before he turns back to watch the sea, a lonely, silent melody playing in your ears as you watch him; as if the sirens are calling to you once again.
His smile is sad.
"If only Yeosang's father had been an easier man to hate."