Hailey's POV:
I'm engaged!
What the actual fuck!
I feel like it's a dream still.
Like someone is going to wake me up, and tell me it was all in my head.
Tell me that I'm not good enough for him.
That I don't deserve his heart.
That he belongs with someone else.
I hate having these self doubts.
I know he loves me.
I know we belong together.
But the world thinks they know what's good for him.
Who he should be with.
And I'm afraid that our engagement is not going to go over to well.
I'm preparing myself for it.
He seems to have no fears at all.
He wanted to tell the world immediately.
But that's Justin.
When he's confident about something, nothing and nobody can hold him back.
He seems to think that everyone who truly supports him, will support us.
Love us. Because they love him.
That's not always the case.
I asked him to just hold off for a while.
The media was already hungry to get an interview with him about his accident.
Add an engagement into it.
Shit would be crazy.
He agreed to wait, but was not in the least happy about it.
"Twinkles, stop worrying about anyone but us.
If they truly care about me, they'll be happy that I'm finally happy.
I can't hold this back forever baby.
But I will try my damn best.
For you."
Of course he pouted about it though.
He doesn't like not getting his way.
To bad.
He didn't realize that I was protecting him too.
Our time in France had come to a close.
Justin was finally medically cleared to fly home.
It was good news, that was bittersweet.
In France, we had the luxury of just being "us".
I knew that would change the minute we stepped back into L.A.
Our bubble was going to be popped.
On the plane ride home, I never let go of his hand.
I was afraid of everything to come.
He slept on my shoulder, snuggled into my side.
He was completely unaware of my inner turmoil.
My boy was happy.
He was so damn happy.
I didn't want my fears to ruin his peace.
He deserved to feel safe and loved.
I would do my best to keep him just like this.
Justin's POV:
Being back in America was going better than I expected.
For once, the paparazzi and media were respecting my privacy.
It had been three weeks since we left France.
And a lot had happened.
Hails and I had decided to move in together.
I wanted to buy a house.
She wanted to rent something smaller for now.
So of course I rented a smaller mansion in Beverly Hills.
I still remember our little house hunting adventure.
I had a devious plan that day.
I would show her a bunch of ridiculous
high-end homes.
And then save the best for last.
"Justin, we've looked at like 20 different homes already!
My feet are killing me.
Every house you've shown me has different wings.
I just want something small. Something intimate.
Stop trying to make me the next housewife of Beverly Hills."
She was getting hangry by that point.
Gotta feed my girl.
After some In&Out burger, I was ready to show her the one.
"So no to the one with the indoor bowling alley?"
God I was playing this off so good.
"We don't even bowl,Ogre! So unless you plan on taking up bowling as a new career, then NO!"
"What about the one with the nightclub?
We could recreate that lap dance you gave me every night. "
And that pushed her over the limit.
She was about to tear me in two.
"Boy...if I didn't love you...
I'm not even going to comment on that.
Lapdance...in that tacky ass over the top room they called a private nightclub.
Who in the hell lived there before?
I bet it was Floyd Mayweather."
I busted out laughing.
How the hell did she know.
"It was wasn't it? You tried to have me move into Mayweather's house of horrors.
Lord only knows what STDs are still floating around in there!"
I thought it was cool tbh.
But I knew Hailey would hate it.
So of course I had to add it to the list.
It was all to lead up to the last house.
The owner had it on the market to sell.
When I saw it...
I knew it was perfect for her.
And anything perfect for my girl, was perfect for me.
I talked the owner into a rental deal with an option to buy.
Being Justin Bieber had it's perks.
Of course I got it.
Now hopefully Hails loved it too.
"Alright Twinkles.
There's one more left to see.
You probably won't like it either.
It's not really your type."
Reverse psychology people.
"Justin Drew Bieber, you better pray this one isn't like the last. Otherwise I'm renting us a room at the Holiday Inn out of spite!"
As we pulled up to our house, I knew I had done good.
Her face said it all.
"You like?"
She slowly nodded.
Still no words though.
"You said you wanted small and cozy.
This isn't too big?"
She shook her head no.
"It's perfect, Justin."
I knew it.
It was like Christmas morning.
I was so excited to show her the inside.
"Come with me. Let's check it out. "
I took her hand and walked her to the front door.
"Babe, look at the porch swing. We could read out here!"
Little did she know...
I had that installed yesterday.
I led her into the cozy home.
Walking her through each room.
Excited to see her reaction.
"Justin,look at the beams in here. This living room reminds me of France. "
"Babe, I freaking love this adorable kitchen!"
"This can't be real. So much natural light."
"If I closed my eyes and pictured our room, this is what I'd see."
That made it all worth it.
Knowing that I would spend my best moments with her, in this room.
I walked her to a set of French doors that led outside to the yard.
"What do you think? I know it's still kinda big. It has a pool. It's still in Beverly Hills...is it to much?"
She whipped her head around to face me.
"This is almost too perfect. I can see us here. I want to live here right now!
Can we?"
This was the best part.
"It's already ours.
I saw it and knew it was meant for you.
Meant for us.
You can redecorate. But everything in here is ours to keep."
I took the keys out of my pocket and dangled them in the air.
Hailey almost took me out with her excitement.
Needless to say, we moved in immediately.
And the master bedroom was where we spent most of our time.
I wanted to marry her basically now.
I had no patience when it came to making her my wife.
She still insisted we take it slow.
We started planning for the big day,but nothing was final yet.
I wanted a big wedding.
To go all out.
I wanted to make it the most magical evening of our lives.
Hailey wanted something smaller.
Just close friends and family.
I wasn't ready to give in just yet.
I really wanted a kick ass party!
I just had to figure out a way to convince Twinkles.
Hailey's POV:
Living with Justin was an adventure in itself.
He was like a big kid.
Jumping on our bed.
Blasting music.
He would walk around naked, just to mess with me.
I was always in fear that the paparazzi would be snapping pictures of his white ass through the windows.
You bet I made sure we had decent blinds installed.
Nobody was seeing naked Bieber except me.
I loved cooking for him.
And believe me, the boy could eat.
He had gained all his weight back and then some in these last few weeks.
His happiness had rubbed off on me.
I stopped worrying about our relationship going public and just focused on our time together.
I had even gone back to work.
Taking modeling jobs in town.
Justin was working on more music.
And we were slowly planning our wedding.
Everything felt just right.
So when Justin mentioned doing his first interview with Ellen, I was all for it.
I knew everyone wanted to hear his story.
And Ellen and Justin had such a great friendship.
It seemed logical for her to be the first one to get his story.
It had been 4 weeks now, since we've been back.
It was time.
The day of the interview, I could tell Justin was nervous.
He kept pacing back and forth in the dressing room.
"Maybe this was a bad idea.
I don't know if I want to relive everything.
I know she's gonna ask.
Fuck. Let's just go.
I feel sick.
I can't fucking do this."
He was working himself up, and in the process, working me up too.
I had to calm him down.
Walk him off the ledge, otherwise this wouldn't end well.
"Ogre...just breathe.
Baby you don't have to talk about anything you don't want to.
She knows you've been through alot.
It's Ellen, she's gonna go easy.
Your publicist has already gone over what she can and cannot talk about.
Just be yourself."
He thought about it for a minute and nodded his head.
He seemed to be ok after awhile.
It was finally time for him to go.
I promised him I'd be watching on the monitor.
He kissed me and walked out the door.
The minute he left, I felt an overwhelming case of the butterflies.
I felt nauseous.
At the time, I chalked it up to being nervous for him.
I sat there alone, watching him take the stage.
"Our next guest needs no introduction.
I've watched him grow and had the pleasure of his company on this stage many times before.
But this interview is different.
This is my first ever live show.
What you see here is happening in real time.
As you all know, he's endured some serious health issues recently.
He's here to share his story.
I'm honored to have him with us.
Alive and well.
Please welcome out, Justin Bieber!
The crowd erupted into cheers and clapping as Ellen finished her introduction.
She stood as well.
He came out with a shy smile on his face.
But you would have never guessed that he almost had a panic attack back stage just minutes before.
Ellen hugged him.
The audience was all on their feet.
Clapping and cheering.
He stood there for a minute taking it in.
I could see the gratitude he felt in his eyes.
They finally sat down.
Ellen-
You look good.
Thank you for coming.
How are you doing?
Justin-
I'm good. I'm in a really good place right now.
I'm so thankful for all the love and support.
All the prayers.
I'm happy to be alive.
Ellen-
I can honestly say, I think I speak for everyone.
We are so happy for your recovery.
I'm happy your happy.
Are you ok with talking about it?
Justin-
I'm not sure.
I guess we'll find out.
It's still kinda crazy to me.
Everything that's happened.
Ellen-
Let's start at the night of the concert.
Most of the world has probably seen that video.
I've got to say, it was hard to watch.
I know you.
Seeing you on that stage like that.
I can't help but cry.
Do you remember anything about that day?
Justin-
That day comes in waves.
I will say one thing.
I saw myself laying there lifeless.
I knew I was dying.
I did die.
Ellen-
Justin, I can't....
I didn't know.
I mean ...
The video showed them working on you.
I didn't realize that you...
Wow.
At this point, the audience was in shock.
Ellen had tears in her eyes.
Surprisingly, Justin seemed calm.
Justin-
Awww don't cry.
Then your gonna make me cry.
I'm ok now.
I can't imagine watching that video.
I'm sorry that so many people had to see me like that.
But yeah,
I was clinically dead for less than a minute.
That's what they say.
Ellen-
Did you see anything in that minute?
The afterlife?
Justin-
I did.
I felt rather than saw.
I heard God's voice.
It wasn't my time yet.
It seems fuzzy now, but that I remember.
Ellen-
Wow.
Goosebumps.
I can't even imagine.
Justin-
Yeah.
It still plays in my mind.
I was sent back.
I had to have emergency surgery on my brain.
Tubes in my chest.
A breathing machine.
My recovery was hard.
It wasn't pleasant.
But my family and friends got me through it.
Ellen-
Your medical team did an outstanding job of letting the public know about each step to your recovery.
But I have to say, they kept your privacy so well.
The media couldn't get them to budge.
The information was only what your family would allow.
How is Mom holding up?
My heart broke for her.
Justin-
Yeah the medical team,my team.
They were all so great.
My Mom..um...my Mom.
She...
He put his hands over his face.
This was something he wasn't prepared for.
Seeing Pattie in pain.
Reliving that.
Justin-
I never want my Mom to have to go through that again.
Just imagine almost losing your child.
No mother should have to go through that.
I'm just grateful that God had placed the right people at her side during all of it.
Ellen-
Our hearts were with her too.
Everyone was praying for you.
For her.
Speaking of the people by your side.
Scooter, your Dad, even Kendall Jenner was there.
But you know who stands out.
Hailey Baldwin.
The media had been reporting that she never left your side.
That she was with you and Pattie through it all.
Then your Instagram post. And hers.
Everyone is curious.
And now I was fidgeting.
Waiting for the words that would leave Justin's mouth next.
We talked about this.
That I would probably come up.
He agreed to maintain that we were bestfriends.
For now.
His face was blank for a minute.
Like he was deciding how to answer her.
He looked at the camera, like he was looking straight at me.
I felt like throwing up.
Ellen-
Justin, you don't have to answer.
I get it.
I saw the media hounding her in London.
That's not what I want to do.
Justin-
It's ok.
I get it.
Everyone wants to know about Hailey.
She's my bestfriend.
It was Hailey who helped my Mom.
Hailey who got me through my toughest days.
Without her...
Without her....I wouldn't be sitting here today.
I owe my life to Hailey Baldwin.
Ellen-
I can feel how much she means to you.
She seems like an amazing bestfriend to have.
Justin-
She is.
I'm so blessed to have her in my life.
Commercial break.
Somehow he avoided it.
Thank you baby Jesus!
I think Ellen bought it.
Our relationship was ours still.
I still felt sick though.
Come to think about it, I've been feeling crappy for a couple days now.
I hoped I wasn't coming down with something.
I watched him sip water.
Watched them touch up his face.
Ellen and him chatted for a couple of seconds.
Then they were live again.
Ellen-
So where have you been for the last 2 months?
Nobody could find you.
It was like you disappeared.
The paparazzi went nuts.
Everyday there was speculation on where you could be.
Justin-
Ha ha.
I got them this time.
I'm not gonna say.
But I never left France.
Brain surgery kept me in a wheelchair for weeks.
To risky to fly.
Ellen-
I knew it. I told Portia you had to be in France.
See Portia, I was right.
Justin and the audience laughed.
Ellen had lightened the mood.
So why she did what she did next....
Who fucking knows.
Ellen-
So many celebrities have publicly supported you during this time.
Twitter.
Instagram.
Not to mention your fans.
Ariana Grande dedicated her concert to you.
Miley Cyrus broke down in an interview over you.
Your fans from all over the world held candlelight vigils for you.
That's got to make you feel good.
Justin-
Absolutely.
Ariana, Miley...They have always been good friends.
My Beliebers...there support has been such a strength to me.
Ellen-
Even Selena Gomez.
The world was touched with her emotional live video on Instagram.
After your accident, she seemed so upset.
Has she reached out?
Have you seen her?
And this was it.
I could tell he had enough.
His jaw tightened.
And he was biting his cheek.
Fuck I'm gonna throw up.
Justin-
I gotta stop you right there Ellen.
I know my past has been confusing.
Selena is a great person.
But no, I haven't had any contact with her.
Our relationship wasn't healthy.
It was both our faults.
But I want to clear the air, once and for all.
There is nothing left between us.
We don't talk.
We aren't friends.
I'm not trying to sound mean.
I just want everyone to understand.
Ellen-
You never know though.
Never say Never right?
Good God! Why did she say that?
I could see him starting to unravel.
He looked at the camera.
And I knew what was coming next.
I didn't blame him...
I knew he couldn't stay quiet after that.
I grabbed the trash can and started throwing up.
Justin-
Actually....
I can 100% say Never.
Because I'm engaged.
The audience was gasping.
Ellen herself almost knocked over her coffee mug.
Ellen-
What?
Did you just say engaged?
Stop playing with me!
It got weird quick.
Justin wasn't playing.
And he didn't find it funny.
He kinda looked scary.
And I threw up again.
Justin-
I promised her I'd try and keep this quiet.
But I can't stand to hide her or our relationship any longer.
I'm gonna marry my bestfriend.
I've been in love with her for quite some time now.
When I almost died, it was leaving Hailey that stopped me.
Even while I was unconscious, her voice helped bring me back.
I had been falling in love with her for so long.
But I never felt good enough for her.
Hailey was always there for me.
My bestfriend.
Supporting me.
I knew the minute I opened my eyes again.
God giving me this second chance.
I wasn't going to waist it.
The clarity was instant.
She was it for me.
I asked.
She said yes.
I'm gonna marry my bestfriend.
Sorry Twinkles!
I couldn't even be mad at him.
I fucking loved him so damn much.
But I was scared.
The world can be a mean place.
And I didn't want him losing his peace.
And I was definitely sick right now!
I had thrown up multiple times.
I was dizzy and in a full body sweat.
Allison came in.
Obviously checking on me, after Justin let the cat out of the bag.
She didn't like what she saw.
"Hails...that bad? You don't look so good.
Your white as a ghost."
And I couldn't really respond, my face was over the trash can again.
I could still hear Justin talking through it all.
Ellen-
Congratulations to the both of you!
Hailey seems like a beautiful person.
I'm happy you found her.
That she's your person.
Your engaged!
Wow!!!!
The audience was in a clapping frenzy.
Justin-
I'm just so happy right now.
It feels so good to tell the world.
Hailey Baldwin is my fiancee.
I'm in love and can't wait to spend the rest of my life with her.
They may have hugged.
I don't remember the rest.
I was definitely sick.
This came on way to quick.
Allison helped me to the bathroom.
I was not doing good at all.
I remember Justin coming in.
He must have gotten down on the floor next to me.
"Allison, what the fuck happened?
She doesn't look good at all!
You should have come and gotten me!
Fuck!"
How embarrassing to be vomiting in a dressing room bathroom at Ellen.
My fiance just professed his love to me on national television.
And here I was,
About to pass out.
"Sorry Justin. I think I'm sick.
Scratch that. I'm sick."
He held my hair back as I continued to throw up.
"Hails...fuck...baby...you look like your gonna pass out. Your pale and sweaty."
He was right.
I was about to pass out.
Why though?
This all seemed so strange to me.
Who passes out from the flu?
"Sorry Justin. I just feel so dizzy. "
And the lights went out as my body slumped back into his arms.
I heard him screaming.
"Someone call a fucking ambulance right now!"
A/N: To be continued...
Sorry Not Sorry.
😬😬😬
Go listen to Turning Page
by Sleeping at Last.
And then Journals by our one and only....
While I figure out what comes next....