Chapter 3: What He Wants
“IMPOSIBLENG MANGYARI ‘YANG gusto mo, Aubrey. Napaka-imposible.”
“Sabihin mo nga, saan ka kukuha ng ipanggagastos mo para roon? At paano mo tutustusan ang sarili mo kapag naroon ka na?”
“Napakalayong lugar ang Paris, Aubrey. Kung dito nga sa Pilipinas, walang makatulong sa’yo. Doon pa kaya sa dayuhang lugar na iyon?”
“Alam namin, gustung-gusto mong matupad ang pangarap mo na maging magaling na pianista. Pero Aubrey, dapat alam mo rin ang limitasyon mo—kung ano ang kaya mo at hindi. Kaya mong mag-piano, pero hindi mo kayang mag-aral sa ibang bansa.”
“Hindi mo ‘yun kaya, Aubrey. Hinding-hindi. Maniwala ka sa’min.”
“Sumuko ka na lang...”
“Wala kang patutunguhan...”
Habol-hiningang napadilat at napabangon si Aubrey mula sa higaan niya.
Ito na... Napapikit siya. Sa pagbabalik ng lalaking iyon, isa-isa na ring bumabalik ang lahat sa isipan ko...
Nanghihina siya. Gusto niyang matulog na lang maghapon. Pero hindi puwede, kaya pilit siyang tumayo at naghilamos.
Mag-isa lang si Aubrey sa tinutuluyan niyang condo unit kaya mag-isa lang din niyang inasikaso ang kanyang sarili. Wala na kasi siyang mga magulang. Unang pumanaw ang ama niya noong sanggol pa lang siya. Sumunod naman ang ina niya noong nasa unang taon na siya ng kolehiyo. Wala rin siyang naging kapatid kaya wala na siyang nakasama mula nang pumanaw ang kanyang ina. At dahil walang kamag-anak na nag-alok ng tulong o pag-aaruga sa kanya, natutunan niyang suportahan at tustusan ang sarili niya—hanggang sa marating niya ang kasalukuyang estado ng kanyang pamumuhay. Mag-isa niya itong pinaghirapan sa loob ng walong taon, gamit ang talento niya sa pagtugtog ng piano.
“Good morning, baby.”
Halos maibuga ni Aubrey ang iniinom niyang kape sa biglang pagpasok ni Justin sa kusina kung saan siya kumakain.
Natawa naman ito sa reaksyon niya. “Surprised, huh?”
Ngumiti lang siya bago tumayo para salubungin ng yakap ang kanyang nobyo. But she was really surprised. Binibisita naman siya lagi nito basta may oras ito. Pero ang bumisita ito nang ganoon kaaga? That was what made it surprising.
“Baka ma-late ka sa work mo!” Sita niya rito after a hug and a kiss. Kung mula kasi sa residence nito, masyadong out of way ang condo niya papunta sa opisina nito. Tapos traffic pa.
“Hindi baka. I’m definitely going to be late now. Pero hindi na iyon mahalaga.” Justin showed her a paperbag of brownies—her favorite. “I went here ‘cause I want to eat breakfast with you, baby.”
She smiled, feeling touched. “Ah, wait. I’ll make you coffee!” Kumalas na siya ng yakap dito at pinag-brew nga ito ng kape.
Together they ate the brownies with a cup of freshly brewed coffee, habang nag-uusap tungkol sa mga plano nila sa darating na mga araw. Sinisigurado nilang hindi nila mapapabayaan ang kanya-kanyang trabaho kasabay ng pag-asikaso nila sa nalalapit nilang kasal.
Pero hindi nakaligtas si Aubrey sa pagka-pilyo ng kanyang nobyo. Magliligpit na dapat siya ng pinagkainan nila nang hapitin siya nito sa bewang at iupo sa kandungan nito.
“Justin?!” Sita niya rito pero ngumiti lang ito nang nakakaloko. “Late ka na nga sa work, eh. At male-late na rin ako. So behave, okay?”
“One minute lang,” he pulled her closer. “Please, baby?”
Ugh. Aubrey wanted to roll her eyes. Ito na naman kasi siya, nadadala sa charm ng lalaking nasa harapan niya. Why am I so deep in love with this man? She wondered, finally letting her arms rest around Justin’s broad shoulders, her hands reaching for his hair.
“One minute,” she gave in, making Justin grin and lean over to kiss her on the lips.
But Justin’s kiss was not just a kiss. Well it never been just a kiss. It was always special, always passionate, always could make her want for more. Kaya kahit lumipas na ang isang minuto na binigay niya rito ay binalewala na lang niya.
Justin’s hands were now under her silk nightgown, fondling her back, when an image of Chester invaded her mind. And all of a sudden, what she could only feel was Chester’s kisses, Chester’s touch, Chester’s—
Aubrey let out a moan when she felt Chester’s hand sliding down behind her, going down there—then she realized, it was Justin’s hand. Good thing she was quick enough to grab and stop his arm. “N-No, baby.” She told him, catching her breath.
Justin groaned, burying his face on her neck, and she felt guilty.
“I-I’m sorry baby...” Hinawakan niya ang mukha nito para magkaharap sila.
“It’s okay,” sagot ni Justin. But he didn’t look okay, and Aubrey felt worse than being guilty. Nafu-frustrate na rin siya sa ginagawa niyang pagpipigil sa sarili.
Pero unting tiis na lang naman eh…
“I love you, Justin...” She whispered to him, making their noses touch, and hoping that it would make her man feel better.
Success naman dahil ngumiti na ito. “I love you, too, Aubrey. So much.” And he kissed her again—sweetly this time.
***
SOON, KASAMANG UMALIS ni Aubrey si Justin mula sa condo unit niya. Hinatid lang naman siya nito sa music school na pinagtuturuan niya at saka ito dumiretso sa sariling trabaho.
Today, dalawang klase ang tinuruan niya ng basics about piano. When she was done, pumunta siya sa isang piano room ng paaralan.
Agad siyang pumuwesto sa nag-iisa at itim na grand piano na naroon sa kuwarto. And with finesse, she started playing a few notes, until it became one, familiar, and strong music piece.
Her shoulders swayed along the tempo,. Her eyes both closed to let herself drift along the melody.
Kaya mahal na mahal niya ang pagtugtog ng piano, eh. It could take her away from reality. It could make her forget all the things she didn’t want to remember.
Naging malakas at mabilis ang bawat nota na sunod niyang tinipa. It was as if she was letting her inside strength and courage burst out; as if she was telling the whole world that nothing could take her down—nothing—and never.
Natapos din ang piyesang tinutugtog niya. And she felt so strong after hitting the last note.
“Wow,” salita ng isang lalaki sa bandang kaliwa niya sabay palakpak.
Nilingunan niya ito, at namilog ang mga mata niya nang makita kung sino iyon. Chester Salviejo.
“W-What are you doing here?” May galit sa tono niya.
“Aw. I thought you already know.” Sumandal pa ito sa gilid ng pintuan.
“Ah, right.” Now she sounded sarcastic. “You’re here to haunt me.”
“Hm,” tumango-tango ito. “Hindi ka lang pala magaling mag-piano, Aubrey. Matalino ka rin pala.”
Aubrey turned her look back to the piano and she controlled her breathing. Wala na siyang masabi. Nagkahalo na kasi ang takot at tapang na nararamdaman niya, dahilan para umurong ang dila niya.
Naglakad naman si Chester palapit sa kanya at huminto sa likuran niya. He leaned his left arm on the piano top, while he let the fingers of his other arm’s hand to trace the piano keys. Para na rin tuloy nakulong si Aubrey sa mga braso nito. Hindi rin naiwasang dumikit ng kanyang likuran sa dibdib ni Chester, at nanigas na lang siya sa pakiramdam na dinulot nun.
Naka-focus ang mga mata niya sa kanang kamay ni Chester na marahang kinakapa ang ibabaw ng bawat piano key. And watching it made her remember how that manly hand touched all of her skin.
Chester suddenly pressed one key, startling her out of her thoughts. Sobrang kumakabog ang puso niya, pero dahan-dahan itong kumalma nang magsimulang tumugtog si Chester gamit lang ang isang kamay.
The piece he was playing, she was not familiar with it. But she found it soothing, sweet, romantic—napakalayo sa aroganteng personalidad ni Chester.
Gustong pumikit ng mga mata ni Aubrey para damdamin ang musikang naririnig niya. Pero ayaw ng puso niya. Gusto nitong makita ang bawat galaw na ginagawa ng kamay ni Chester—bawat galaw na nagpapabilis sa tibok niya.
Chester ended the short piece softly, gently, and with poise. And Aubrey was very much impressed. The jerk could play the piano so well—kahit isang kamay lang ang gamit.
“Impressive, huh?” Biglang bulong ni Chester sa tenga niya, making her insides quiver. “I composed that short piece myself when I was in seventh grade.”
Wow...
“And to make you more impressed, I’ll let you know: I also can play the violin, the guitar, and the flute—all very well.”
Impressive nga talaga... Aubrey wanted to say that, but she wasn’t able to. Her whole body remained stiff, with Chester’s body still behind her.
Then she snapped out of it—of something like hallucination.
Bakit ba parang nawala ako sa sarili ko mula nung dumating dito si Chester? She asked herself. I should be confronting him now!
Inikot ni Aubrey ang kanyang ulo, but she regretted doing it. Dahil kasi sa ginawa niya, nagkadikit ang mga ilong nila—at kamuntikan na pati ang mga labi nila.
Inikot niya ulit ang kanyang ulo paharap sa piano, pero hinawakan siya ni Chester sa baba para pigilan siya at halikan. Their lips were only a centimeter apart, when a phone ring made Chester hold back.
It wasn’t her phone ringing, she was sure of it dahil sa ringtone. Malamang cellphone iyon ni Chester.
Chester’s black eyes stared straight at her and—she was not sure—but she thought she heard him groan in annoyance.
Akala naman niya lalayo na ito, pero hindi. Right there, right in front of her, sinagot nito ang tawag sa cellphone.
“Hm? Oh Sheryl.”
Sh-Sheryl? Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Aubrey. Parang naka-recover lang siya ulit mula sa isa na namang hallucination na gawa ni Chester. Oh damn it!
Tinulak niya si Chester palayo at pinilit tumayo’t lumayo.
“Aw,” react nito sa ginawa niyang pagtulak kahit ba kausap pa nito ang nobya sa cellphone. “Ah, it’s nothing Sheryl. May tumulak lang sa’kin.” And he smirked at her.
Napanganga siya sa inis at frustration kay Chester. Hindi na siya natatakot dito. The jerk was already getting on her nerves instead. She hated how he could smirk, piss her off, and act and look so damn innocent.
“Okay. Pupuntahan kita. I’ll be there in twenty. Hm, got it. I love you, too.” Binaba na ni Chester ang tawag habang nakangisi pa rin sa kanya.
“Ano bang problema mo huh?” Hindi na napigilan ni Aubrey ang sarili na konprontahin ito. “Alam mo, hindi kita maintindihan. Yes, we shared something in the past—something na ayoko nang alalahanin pa. But that—that what we had, it was just for a very short moment! Sa iksi nga eh hindi na tayo nag-aksaya ng oras para kilalanin ang isa’t isa! And what is it to you now, huh? Why do you have to haunt me now using that past we had? Ano ba sa’yo kung hindi iyon alam ni Justin? Because you are his best friend?” Napangisi rin siya. “Huh. Best friend ka man ni Justin, wala ka nang pakialam doon. It’s not your business to give a damn so leave me alone!”
Seryoso siyang tinitigan ni Chester. “For the first question, ang sagot ko ay wala akong problema. Sa second, I don’t know. Sa third and fourth, hindi ko rin alam.”
Napatitig na lang siya kay Chester in great exasperation. Talagang hindi niya maintindihan ang lalaking ito.
“What I only know, Aubrey, is what I want right now.”
“And what the heck is it that you want huh?” Pagod na niyang tanong dito.
“I want you to break up with Justin.”
Her mouth twitch in shock. “W-What?”
Hindi ito sumagot.
“Break up with Justin, you said? W—” Aubrey was cut off by another phone ring—ng sarili na niyang cellphone.
Alam niyang si Justin ang tumatawag dahil ibang ringtone ang in-assign niya sa numero nito. Gustung-gusto na niya itong sagutin, pero nag-aalangan siya dahil gusto niyang malinawan muna sa mga sinabi ni Chester.
“That’s all I want, Aubrey. Break up with Justin, before you regret it.” Tumalikod na ito’t umalis, leaving her confused, and with both feet rooted on the floor.
—TBC