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✥ Chapter 19: She's Not Me (Ride Or Die) ✥
>> “Is she a ride or die bitch? Does she know I’m tattooed onto your heart? You can try to fight it. I have left my mark on you. There’s nothing you can do.” – She’s Not Me (Ride Or Die) by Lana Del Rey
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“I am so tired,” I moaned when I got to Olivia’s locker.
She smirked. “What’d you and Jason do last night?”
“Get your mind out of the gutter. It’s too early.” Last night I had gotten home pretty late and then stayed up even later talking on the phone with Jason. Would I get sick of him soon? Is that how relationships worked? I had never been able to understand how you could want to spend the rest of your life with someone but Jason made me understand.
“How’d it go?”
“I think they liked me… hopefully they do.”
“I’m sure they do. Is his Dad as hot as he is?”
“You’re chat, his Dad is like 40. It’s way too early to deal with your shit.” Olivia just laughed. The first part of the day went pretty quickly and then it was lunch. I walked outside and walked to where my friends were sitting. I sat in between Mike and Olivia.
Mike was one of my closest guy friends and I had been friends with the brunette for what felt like forever. We had always gone to school together. Sitting next to him was his girlfriend, Sally. She had the brightest pink hair you’ve ever seen and she was always so happy. Then there was Rose and her name could be deceiving, she absolutely hated it and refuse to wear anything but black. I think it was more to piss off her Mum.
“Stop it,” Rose groaned and I smiled when I saw Ethan was flicking her arm. If I had to define Ethan in 7 words I’d say he always took school sport too seriously. Yeah, he was that kid. With blonde hair, blue eyes and sun-kissed skin he was the perfect guy.
“What am I annoying you?” He taunted.
“Can’t you fuck off and go play soccer with the boys or something?”
“But this is so much more fun.” Ethan and Rose continued to bicker. My phone buzzed in my pocket.
Jaseeeeeeeeeee: I’m picking you up from school today.
I smiled automatically and texted back. The rest of the day went slowly, probably because I was looking forward to it ending so much. When school finished I eagerly walked outside and was happy to see Jason standing outside of his car but my smile turned into a frown when I saw Sammy sitting in the front seat. Jealousy consumed me.
“Is that your boyfriend?” Ethan called and I turned around to see him walking towards us.
“Yeah.”
“Who’s the hot girl in the car?”
“His friend,” I groaned.
“Someone’s jealous.” I went to deny it but Ethan continued, “Your boyfriend looks pretty jealous right now as well. He might come and punch me.”
I turned to Jason who was glaring at Ethan and laughed. “I should go now.” Ethan leaned down and we kissed on the cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I walked to Jason and ignored Sammy, kissing Jason. “Hey.”
“Who was that?”
“Ethan?” I laughed.
“Who is he?”
“My friend?”
“I’ve met your friends. I don’t know him.”
“You haven’t met all my friends, Jase,” I sighed. “Calm down.”
“He wants you.”
I started laughing, loudly. “I’ve known that kid since we were like five. He’s like a brother to me.”
“I don’t like him, Linnea.”
“Yeah well I don’t like some of your friends but you don’t hear me getting all possesi-” I accidently said and quickly cut myself off. I didn’t want to be that possessive, annoying girlfriend who couldn’t stand her boyfriend having girl friends. I had always thought that we should both be able to have girl and boy friends – no questions asked. I felt different with Sammy. I didn’t want them hanging out because it seemed like she would do anything to get him. “I don’t want to fight. Let’s just go.”
“What were you saying?”
“Nothing Jase.”
“Who were you talking about?”
“No one.”
“Linnea.”
“Fine, fine. I just… Sammy really likes you and I know you don’t see it but I do.” When the words left my mouth I realised how stupid I was being. “Look, I’m just being an idiot.”
Jason sighed and kissed my forehead. “Okay, we’re going to talk about this after I drop her off.” I just nodded and got in the back seat of the car.
What pissed me off was the big grin Sammy had on her face when I got into the car.
Don’t punch her in the face. Don’t punch her in the face. Don’t punch her in the face. I had to keep reminding myself. “Hi Leila!” Sammy turned to me and exclaimed. Bullshit she didn’t know my name. She was probably planning my murder so she could get Jason; of course she knew my name.
“It’s Linnea.”
“Oh right.”
“Where do you want me to drop you off?” Jason asked.
“I thought I could come back to yours…” The thought of just them two in his room alone made me angry. What if she tried to kiss him? What if he kissed back? No, Jason wouldn’t do something like that, I kept telling myself.
“Nea and I are going out.”
Sammy sniffled. I rolled my eyes. If Jason believed this act than he was an idiot and that was the honest truth. “But I don’t want to go home… my mum and dad have been fighting again.”
And well that was all it took for her to come with us to a diner. I slid into one of the booths and Jason sat opposite of me. Sammy sat next to Jason. I was getting more and more annoyed. She even had the nerve to ask if Jason wanted to share a milkshake with her. “No thank you…” Jason said, awkwardly.
The final straw for me was when the waitress said, “You guys make a cute couple.” When she said that she wasn’t even paying attention at me, she was looking directly at Sammy and Jason. The waitress thought Sammy and Jason were together and I, his girlfriend, was sitting directly across from them.
I stood up.
“Linn-”
“I just need to go bathroom.” I quickly walked to the bathroom and sighed heavily when I got in there. I walked over to the mirror and just stared at myself. I don’t know how long I was in there for but I never wanted to leave.
The restroom door opened and I almost groaned when I saw Sammy walk in. “What do you want?” I snapped.
“I came to check up on you.”
“Why don’t you go back outside to Jason?”
“Trust me I’d love to be out there with him.” I have no doubt. “And I will soon. I just wanted to talk to you. I mean we haven’t got a chance to talk without Jason around.”
“Whatever you say to me you can say to Jason.”
“I don’t know what he sees in you. He’s always had a thing for brunettes. He’s never been with a blonde before.”
“Well he’s with me right now.”
“Eh, I give you guys a couple of weeks. Jason is going to realise very soon that he doesn’t want you anymore. He’ll get bored of you and come running back to me. He always does.”
He always does?
I wanted to ask her what that meant but I was too scared of the answer. “Sammy, Jason and I aren’t going to break up. You’re not going to get between us. Why can’t you see that he doesn’t want you? If he really did want you than you guys would be together!”
“He’ll realise it soon. We’ve hooked up before and I’m sure it’ll happen again. Aye you never know, maybe tonight.” With that being said, she left the restroom and a woman walked out of the bathroom stall.
“Well she sounds like a crazy bitch,” the lady offered me a smile.
“She is,” I sighed.
I wasn’t sure if I should believe Sammy when she said that her and Jason had hooked up before. He was so sure of her not liking him that I didn’t really think that he’d hook up with her. I walked back outside and almost ran back to the restroom when I saw Sammy wiping some ice cream off of Jason’s upper lip.
Why the hell was he not stopping her?
Sammy leaned closer to Jason and I wouldn’t have been surprised if they kissed but Jason moved away. Sammy whispered something in Jason’s ear and I got to the table, frustrated and pissed.
“I’m going home.”
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“Everything’s wrong,” I said, quietly.
“Bab-”
I shook my head and rolled my eyes. “Yeah just call me baby and everything’s good. Real cute, Jason.” I looked at Sammy and a little voice in my head was begging me to just punch her. One punch that’s all I wanted. Instead I gave her the fakest smile. “Have fun Sammy. I hope you get another hook up tonight.”
I walked out of the diner and all the way home.
A part of me wanted Jason to come chasing after me, telling me that there’s nothing going on between him and Sammy. After seeing them in the diner I couldn’t help but wonder. I eventually got home and groaned when I realised that I had left my backpack in Jason’s car with my house keys in there. I prayed my Mum was home.
I rang the doorbell and thankfully my Mum answered. “Linnea…Don’t you have keys?”
“I forgot them in someone’s car.”
“Oh, okay.”
Why couldn’t I just have a normal relationship with my Mum? I wanted someone to come home to and tell them my problems so they can give me some motherly advice.
I walked up to my room, my mind never leaving Jason and Sammy. I plugged some earphones into my phone and started listening to music, getting angry and screaming in my pillow. I eventually got tired and just lay down on the floor, tears threatening to spill.
No. I would not cry over something like that.
Jason was just a boy.
That was probably the biggest amount of bullshit. Jason wasn’t just a boy. He was a boy that I was falling for… fast and hard. I wondered if I loved him. Of course I love him. I loved most people in my life. I was sure I loved Carson when we were together, but just not that intimately.
With music blasting in my ears I couldn’t hear anything around me so I didn’t hear my bedroom door opening and since my eyes were closed I couldn’t see anyone. I felt someone touch my shoulder and I automatically opened my eyes. Standing on top of me was Jason. I took my earphones out and sat up.
“You left your bag in my car.”
“I know,” I simply said. “Thanks for bringing it to me. You can go now.” This was the first time ever that I didn’t want to talk to Jason.
Jason just sat on my bed. “I’m sorry for not coming straight away. I swear I left the diner straight away but I had to take Sammy home and then her Mum invited me in and I couldn’t say no and um yeah.”
“Of course Sammy co-” I stopped myself. I was about to say, ‘Of course Sammy comes first.’ No. I wasn’t going to be bitter. I had to stop overreacting. “That’s okay.”
Jason frowned. “Please tell me what I did.”
“Nothing. You did absolutely nothing.” That’s the problem. Sammy was all over him and he just sat there. Maybe that’s because he likes her, a little voice in the back of my head said. “I don’t want to talk right now. Please leave?”
Jason’s facial expression broke my heart. He looked hurt. “No, I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong?” He paused. “What’d I do? Whatever it is I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“So why are you angry at me?”
“It’s just… sometimes I think that maybe there’s something going on between you and Sammy,” I blurted. “I’m not accusing you of anything, I trust you. I just don’t trust her.”
“Sammy and I are just friends.”
“Who hook up occasionally?”
“What? How do you know we hooked up?” I felt my heart sinkng. So they did hook up.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“How do you know?” Jason repeated, a confused expression on his face.
I rolled my eyes. “What do you think Sammy spoke to me about when she came in the bathroom? Do you think we shared make-up tips or told each other how pretty they are? She told me that you always went back to her and that we would eventually break up when you got sick of me.” Fuck. I shouldn’t be letting some girl have such an impact on me.
“Sammy wouldn’t do something like that.”
Okay before maybe I was just a little sad, now I was fucking pissed.
“Okay you go ahead and believe her. I don’t fucking care.”
“Linnea-” I stood up and so did he. “Linnea,” He repeated.
“I think you should leave. Feel free to run to your sweet innocent Sammy.”
“This isn’t you, Linnea.”
I wanted to scream. “Yes, this is me and I am fucking pissed. Is that okay with you? You and Sammy were acting like a fucking couple! I mean even the waitress thought so and you didn’t deny it, did you? If you want to be with her than why don’t you?” I practically screamed. All I could see was red.
“Get it through your thick head, Linnea, I don’t fucking want her!”
“I know you do.”
“Fuck,” Jason swore. “I hope you realise you’re being a fucking idiot right now.” He walked to one of the walls in my room and punched it, his knuckle going red. He started walking to me and all I could think was fuck, he’s going to hit me. He raised his hand and I realised too late that he was just running them through his hair and I flinched. I couldn’t help it. I thought he was going to hit me. Get mad like Carson would and just hurt me. Jason’s face dropped when he saw me flinch and he bit his lip, walking out of my room.
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I am so proud of myself for how long this chapter is so I hope you liked it! What do you think? Do you think Linnea's overreacting? ♥ Okay, I'm not going to be able to upload for around 2 weeks because I'm going to Fiji (yayayayayayayayayay) but once I come back I'll update straight away!
I uploaded the blurb of my next story Carmen so if you want, you can check it out! :)
Thanks for reading xx ♡