It had been three weeks since the viral outbreak had happened. Three weeks since everyone was finally allowed to return back to their normal lives. Well, as normal as they could now be.
Many got straight back into things. Jake had too. After a week off he decided to go back to work. His coworkers were surprised to see him back in work so suddenly considering what had happened not so long ago. Jake had insisted though and nothing was going to change his stubborn mindset. Not even his worried girlfriend, Y/N.
Y/N was so happy when he returned home safe and well once the corden had been lifted. Only, what returned home wasn't the same as what had left. As each day passed she noticed the changes more and more. He had dark circles and an almost blank look in his once bright blue eyes. He was restless. He'd manage to get an hour, maybe even less, of sleep each night. Some nights he wouldn't sleep at all. However, the nights he did would quickly be disturbed as he woke in a panicked sweat.
Y/N had tried to get through to him. Asking questions on what exactly his nightmares were. Asking how much sleep he'd gotten the night before. Asking why he wouldn't talk to her.
Asking too many questions, Jake thought.
Today was no different. Jake had got up early morning, knowing Y/N wouldn't be up for a while, and headed out for work. When Y/N finally got up herself, she quickly got herself ready and headed to work for the day, hoping to distract herself from worrying about her boyfriend. However, that never worked.
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It was five o'clock when she returned home from work. The apartment was still dark, as she'd expected. She placed her bag and coat on the rack and removed her shoes with a sigh. She then went and got changed into more comfortable clothes before making a start on food.
An hour had passed when she finally sat down to eat. The TV was on in the background as she quietly munched on her food. Once finished, she placed her plate on the table and grabbed her phone.
She had somehow lost track of time as she scrolled through videos and pictures of her and Jake. Looking back on happier times. The door opened and in he walked, not even sparing her a glance. Her heart breaking ever so slightly but she brushed it aside.
"Hey. You're home early. How was work?" She spoke softly, standing up.
"Fine."
His best friend Lex and the rest of the team had forced him to go home. They too had noticed how tired and withdrawn he'd been lately.
She nodded and picked up her empty plate. "I made food. Your favourite actually. It's in the microwave for whenever you want it. Just needs re-heating. " she gave him a sweet smile, earning a nod in return before heading to wash up.
Jake headed straight to the bathroom and Y/N sighed before continuing to clean. Once finished, she wandered into the bedroom. That's when she heard his footsteps heading into the kitchen, almost like he had waited for her to leave.
After brushing her teeth and changing into her nightwear, she climbed under the covers. Sleep taking over as soon as she hit the pillow.
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A rustling noise awoke her. Eyes opening to find it was still dark. The space beside her empty. She heard heavy breathing coming from somewhere in the room so she quickly turned the bedside lamp on. Her eyes slowly adjusting to the sudden light. Just as she'd suspected, it was Jake. She hurried over to him and placed her hand on his back, rubbing it in a comforting way. "Take deep breaths. Like this." she took slow and steady breaths with him to try and calm him down.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." He spoke, finally a bit calmer now. It was the first proper sentence he'd said to her in weeks.
"It's fine." she took in his dishevelled appearance. His vest was a shade darker in places and his hair and body was damp.
He noticed her looking at him with a frown and quickly realised why. "Don't worry about it. It's nothing." He lied.
She knew he was lying too. "It's clearly not nothing. Tell me." She knew deep down what was wrong but she wanted to hear it from him.
"I'm fine. I told you." He brushed her off heading to the bed.
"Jake, please don't lie to me." her voice soft.
"I'm fine. I got too warm, that's all. Go back to sleep."
She followed him and grabbed his arm gently, turning him to face her. "I'm not stupid. People don't wake up panicking and out of breath because they're too warm. I know that you've been having nightmares every night. You're tossing and turning and mumbling in your sleep. Then you just lay awake until you have get up. You've not been the same since you came back. I understand that it was diff-"
"No, no you don't understand! You don't understand what it was like in there." His voice raising slightly out of frustration. Frustration at himself mainly for not hiding that he was struggling better.
"Then tell me! I just- I don't know what to do, Jake. I try and talk to you but you brush me off or don't even speak to me at all. I want to help. I care about you and I love you, so let me help. Please. It's killing me seeing you like this and not knowing what to do. " Tears began to fall from her eyes as his own welled up.
"You wouldn't get it." His voice shaky as he tried to fight back the tears.
"Try me."
He swallowed back the lump in his throat. His eyes finally taking her in properly for the first time and what he saw upset him. Her hair was a mess. Eyes red from crying. She looked broken and tired and he felt the exact same, the only difference being was the reasoning behind it. He sat down on the edge of the bed and she sat next to him as he began to speak, staring ahead. "I...it was hard. Worse than how the news portrayed it. There were people dying all around. Elders, Adults, teenagers and even children. Everyday was lived in fear of it being the last. I kept myself busy with police duty, making sure everyone was behaving and most importantly, staying safe. "
She listened carefully, noticing the tears beginning to fall down his own face as he continued.
"The hospital became overrun with bodies and the doctors had little time to spare to deal with them properly. So they asked me to deal with it and I agreed. I..." He stopped to take a shaky breath before continuing. "I had to remove personal belongings before I cremated them. There was so many people. None of them deserved that. It haunted me seeing their lifeless, bloodstained bodies. It still haunts me. Everyday I was worried that one day that would be me in there. That I wouldn't make it back, alive, to you."
"I was worried too you know. Even more so when the phone lines were cut. But you came back to me. You're alive and I'm so grateful for that." she placed her hand on his back for comfort as she continued. "What happened in there wasn't your fault and don't try and tell me you don't think that. I know you. You care too much. No matter how much you deny it. "
"I just feel I should've done more. I should have noticed everything sooner. Maybe all those people would still be alive if I had." He looked at her, his lips trembling.
"You can't think like that. You did everything you could, beyond duty even. You don't have to forget any of it but please promise me that you'll let me help you. Let me help you move forward."
Finally, with a tearful nod, he accepted her help. He allowed her to care for him as she'd been wanting to since the moment he stepped back through the door.
She pulled him into her chest, wrapping her arms around him, as he let all the emotion out. Jake hadn't realised he needed this, until now.
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A while had passed as they held onto one another in silence, soon growing tired. The pair got under the covers and Y/N once again pulled Jake close to her. He rested his head on her stomach as she gently began running her fingers through his hair, gripping the arm that he'd wrapped around her front. Sleep taking the both of them. The first proper sleep Jake had had in a while.
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(A/N) : This one was an emotional one but I hope you still enjoyed it. I was in the mood to write and this is what came to mind. Thank you for reading!