You wanted to run. You wanted to shift and run.
Yes. Oh god yes you wanted to run with him-
No! No, no-
A flash of red and claws and teeth struck through your mind, a memory, causing you to suddenly recoil from the male stood before you. The hairs on your arms sticking up as fear became a static along your body.
Your back smacked into the kitchen counter and your breathing was elevated, hands shaking slightly.
"No. No I don't," you said unsteadily, looking up at him but failing to meet his eyes.
"That's not what your eyes were telling me just a second ago."
You bit your lip, not knowing how to reply. Because he was right. For a moment there you really had just wanted to forget about everything (the reasons why you wouldn't shift) and just run with him.
Run with your Tae-tae like the old times.
Stop it!
During your inner turmoil you stiffened up from the presence of another behind you, before relaxing slightly as their familiar smell entered your nose.
Seokjin manoeuvred himself around the counter to stand in front of you in a protective manner, his broad shoulders obscuring most of your view of Taehyung, who had an irritated expression fall onto his face at the older male's intrusion.
He hadn't seen you in so long, and now his elder was going to take that moment away from him.
"Don't you give me that look young man, you weren't supposed to see her yet. You better not have ruined the peace we're trying to establish."
Taehyung scoffed halfheartedly at that.
Jin only continued, narrowing his eyes at the boy, not appreciating his attitude. "And where have you been? You know better than to run off for ages on end on your own."
"I've been scouting the area," he replied in an uncaring manner, looking off to the side.
"Thats BS Taehyung and you know it. I know you've been hunting."
Taehyung didn't reply.
"Taehyung look at me when I'm speaking to you," Jin commanded firmly. The younger looked back at him, so close to rolling his eyes at the way Jin was treating him like a child.
"I wanted to blow off some steam," Taehyung shrugged. "Plus you wanted me away while she was here didn't you?" He said matter of factly, glancing at your hidden form for a split second.
Jin huffed, shaking his head, his messy bed hair sticking out slightly. Given a more light hearted situation, your lips would have curled up in slight amusement at the sight.
"Go to bed Taehyung, we'll sort this out in the morning."
Surprisingly the younger obeyed without much of a counter argument or disobedience and left without saying another word.
You heard an exasperated sigh leave Jin's lips as he turned to finally face you, looking down at you with tired honeyed eyes.
"How come you're up so late, sweetie?" Jin asked softly.
"I was hungry..." You confessed quietly while avoiding the elder's gaze.
He sighed and you felt the warmth of his hand on the small of your back as he ushered you to the table.
"I'll fix you something up."
"Umm..."
"Hmm?" He looked down at you tenderly that made your heart melt slightly.
"I'm sorry if we woke you up."
He shook his head at you, a small smile tugging at his lips. "I actually figured there was a possibility you'd get hungry. You've not been eating much since you have been here," he said, his smile dropping at the end.
"So I did keep you up though," you frowned at him.
"Don't worry about that now, lets get you some food," he waved you off.
Jin had heated up some leftovers from the dinner he had cooked for the boys a few hours ago. He had said leftovers but you had a feeling the man had saved the portion he had made for you knowing you would want it later.
He was always thinking of you and it only made your hardened heart that little bit softer and it annoyed you. But you could never stay annoyed for long at the eldest. Not with his constant dad jokes, blowing kisses and roses he would produce out of nowhere and give to you. Always being able to bring a smile to your face.
You ate quickly, and scraped the crumbs and remainders into the bin before washing your dish and cutlery.
You watched Jin in the corner of your eye momentarily leave the kitchen to the hallway. You suddenly froze remembering the muddy tracks Taehyung had left all over the floor. You stood there for a second as still as a rabbit until,
"What The Flying Fuck Is This!?" And that was your cue to leave. "Kim Taehyung I'm Going To BEAT YOUR SORRY ASS INTO THE MIDDLE OF NEXT WEEK! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE RIGHT THIS INSTANT YOU ABSOLUTE PIG!"
To much of your fortune the hallway looped round to the stairs so you could easily avoid the raging beast that now scoured the house for the culprit.
Luckily you managed to avoid both Jin and Taehyung as you made your way back to your room.
As you ascended the stairs you spotted the dark silhouette of Namjoon making his way down, sending you a concerned look.
"Why're you up?"
You looked at him like it was obvious. "Food."
He sighed and gave you a disapproving look.
"If you had eaten with us earli-"
"You know why I didn't want to," you interrupted him crossing your arms over your chest.
Namjoon opened his mouth to say something but was cut off again by the commotion downstairs.
He glanced at the stairs and back at you, with a cocked brow.
"Did you.." he started, not sure how to phrase his words for a moment which was rather unlike him. "Did you run into Taehyung?"
You pressed your lips together in a thin line and nodded.
Namjoon sighed again though this time it was in great frustration.
"He's really been pushing it lately," he grumbled moving past you to go down stairs. The man paused and turned to you. "Go back to bed, we'll take care of this. You can rest easy."
A rebellious childish part of you wanted to reply in rebuttal and walk off outside somewhere and do the exact opposite of what he was asking. You really wanted to say something like 'you ain't my alpha, I'll do what I like' and storm off. But you knew that would get you no where and would make you come off as a complete brat. Plus, you were tired and now that your belly was full you wanted to put your head on a pillow and sleep.
Having this divide in the pack made it all unbalanced and out of sync and you knew it plagued Namjoon in his heart. It hurt him to have a dysfunctional pack. That made you feel bad.
You made it back to your room, not as quietly because you were sure that the commotion downstairs will have woken up most of the household.
You entered your room only to halt abruptly at the familiar male standing by the window.
You were annoyed that you hadn't learnt your lesson of leaving windows open when you weren't around. He must have gone outside when Jin exploded about the mud on his carpets.
"Why are you in my room?" You asked accusingly, pining Taehyung with an irritated stare.
"I wanted to see you, we were interrupted downstairs," he replied a cheeky look on his features. You were still pretty uncomfortable with him and you didn't like the fact that he was in your room which you classed as your safe space.
"Well you've seen me, so leave."
"You don't make it very easy do you." He noted, his tone lacing with a tinge of annoyance. Your mouth dropped open to reply angrily only to recoil suddenly in your steps as he strode up to you in a few long strides.
"What are you-"
Your words were caught in your throat as he grabbed your arm forcefully and pulled you into him. His arms wrapped around your form quickly and tightly as he held your struggling self against him firmly.
"Taehyung let me go!" You growled, your hands between your chests to create as much space as you could. Your wiggled and shifted trying to loosen the hold until you heard his voice that seeped into your heart like melting snow.
"Please." The desperation in his voice made you still. His grip tightened. "Please, just let me hold you for a bit."
You stood there feeling his firm grip loosen to a more comfortable one once he noticed your submit to him, and he relaxed. His body heat was hot as it soaked into you, probably from the running he had been doing.
Your nose was full of his scent, the smell of pine, freshly cut grass and cedarwood. But that was him, his natural smell that emitted from his body and you hated that you loved it.
You heard him take a large exhale as he placed his nose in your hair, taking in your own scent like a drug. His arms were so secure around you and you knew that no amount of struggling would be able to throw him off in that moment.
However you couldn't bring yourself to relax. Not with all the bad memories of him running through your head as his smell enveloped you.
You're scared of him.
Your eyes widened at the thought that had just run through your head, yet for some reason, you couldn't lie to yourself. You were scared.
Once upon a time you may have felt extremely safe in his arms like this, but after everything that happened, you could only be tense in his presence.
Taehyung was beginning to feel your stiffness too, and he didn't like it. Although despite this, he didn't say anything. He was just content to have you in his arms after such a long time.
Suddenly a primal impulse washed through him and Taehyung couldn't control himself. From your positions you couldn't see the molten gold that smouldered in his iris's.
His nose and cheek grazed the side of your head as he lowered, slowing inching towards your neck, your overpowering scent kicking him into his urges. That was when red alarm bells went off in your head. You tried to step back only not to get very far in his hold.
"Taehyung no! Stop, enough!"
The tip of his nose touched the skin on your neck like a feather that had you shivering involuntarily but left you no less tense.
Your heart beat hard against your rib cage the moment you felt his soft lips skimmed along the curve of your neck and press down gently. You let out a shuddered breath not of pleasure but of fear. You put your hands on his chest and pushed.
"Taehyung I said stop!" Your heart was pounding now. Generally a wolf's flight or fight instincts were fight, but as of right now, you wanted to run. Run far away from this godforsaken house and disappear.
Hearing the fear in your voice made him stop, his senses returning to him as he pulled away to look at your face, keeping his arms around you. He didn't miss the glassy look in your eyes and that's what made him finally pull away fully, his own eyes dimming back to their soft brown. His human eyes.
His lips were pulled into a deep frown, your discomfort not sitting well in his gut. His stomach twisted at your reaction and the clear frightened look on your face as you looked up at him.
You were scared of him. He physically winced at the thought. That was the last thing he wanted, and he was only making the situation worse.
You saw then the deep sadness and regret that glazed over his dark orbs, before it washed away completely.
"I'm sorr-"
"Just leave," you cut him off sharply, not meeting his melancholy eyes. "Get out of my room, Taehyung. I've asked you once already and if you have any respect for me you will listen."
He didn't need to be told twice, but he was hesitant about it, wanted to stay so he could right his wrongs, but he knew what you needed now was space.
So he did leave, not without giving you a final glance and clinging onto the recent memory of having you in his arms, and your natural scent clinging faintly to his clothes from the brief contact. He left out the way he came in, through the window (possibly to avoid being beaten to death by Seokjin) and you wasted no time in closing and locking it behind him.
You breathed out a breath you had been holding, hoping now that he was gone that you could relax. No such luck came to you.
You had tried to get into bed and go to sleep but you felt jittery with nerves and even though you had locked the window you knew you wouldn't sleep for the rest of the night with your wolf instincts on such high guard.
You hated how weak he made you feel. As a wolf you were significantly stronger than human yet, here in a house of male wolves you felt like a cub and you hated that. You felt as if your voice and words flew straight past their heads, every time you told them something, like it was drowned out in their stupid need to be dominant.
These men and their stupid pride and egos.
Embarrassingly, you wanted to be with someone right now. Someone who didn't scare you the way Taehyung and Jungkook could.
Like Jaebum? I miss him...
You shook your head to rid the thought of your boyfriend. Thinking of him now would only make you miss him more.
You didn't trust any of the guys in the pack in all honesty, even Yoongi, but he was your safest bet. He would always be too tired to try anything. Or so you would think.
After pacing and going back and forth with your decision you finally gave in and crept out of your room, quieter than you had when you had went down to get food.
You sneaked around the house towards Yoongi's room, hesitating as you opened the door and entered as silently as possible. You felt so childish in that moment, like you were eight years old seeking out your parents.
You timidly stood by his bed, listening to his slow breathing signalling he was asleep. If it had been one of the others they probably would have woken up by the sound and new smell, but not Yoongi. He slept like a rock.
You carefully slid under the covers and curled up against his back like an infant, not spooning him but like a child who had sought their parents after a nightmare.
The movement did wake him up though. He craned his neck and looked at you quizzically, confused but elated in his tired state that you had come to him, but soon grew concerned over your high heart rate.
You had only ever done this once before in the past and it was because something had frightened you.
Yoongi didn't say a word, and rested his head back on his pillow quickly falling back to sleep, happier than he had been after you joined him.
UNEDITED
June. 16. 2020