The Note (Or When Your Boyfriend Breaks Your Heart So You Sleep With Him)
...
Your brows furrowed in anger. He hurt you so much it felt like someone was stabbing you over and over again directly in the heart. It was late afternoon-- bordering evening, and you were still in bed. You curled your knees up to your chest, and lay in the fetal position, wearing a tank top and shorts. You didn't cry. You only thought really hard, wondering what it was that possessed him to do what he did.
Why would he turn on me because of pride? It is a selfish thing to do...
Shouldn't he feel the most prideful when it comes to me?...
Am I not good enough?
For months you got very little sleep, only doing so when your body couldn't take it anymore. Even now you lay in your bed, nearly sleep deprived and not able to close your eyes. Deep blue circles decorated your eyes as physical proof of insomnia. Your heart hurt like it had been stabbed over and over with a million deadly blows. Your throat started to feel like cotton and it scratched in irritation every time you swallowed. So you decided to go to the kitchen for a drink.
as you made it downstairs, you walked onto the tiled floor with your bare feet. You hissed at the cold against your skin and opened a cabinet to get a cup. You grabbed a green, plastic one and turned on the sink water. You filled the cup and guzzled the water down like it was your first time discovering it.
It was refreshing and satisfactory as it flooded your parched esophagus. You took a deep breath and exhaled after downing the entire cup, determined to let the last drop hit your tongue.
After standing there with your head up and your eyes closed, you looked to your right and found a stray bottle of sake on the counter next to you. It had a small square piece of parchment attached to it by a slim string. You lifted a curious brow at the foreign object.
Rangiku must have stopped by. She had been worried about my mental health lately.
You set the water cup on the counter and grabbed the sake, reading the note.
Feel better. It read with a cute smiley face in the bottom corner.
After reading the label, you grabbed a knife from the rack and edged the blade under the cap. After a small hitch, it popped off with ease. Then you took a swig straight from the bottle and grimaced at the bitter, burning sensation as it poured down and tingled along the way.
You drank the second round, but took in more this time, nearly drinking half the bottle. You walked to the living room couch with the sake still at hand and sat on the soft cushions. You sighed and gulped down some more. You could already feel the drink warming you up.
You breathed in a deep sigh and took in another.
There's nothing like good old sake to brighten the mood.
Your brain announced to you sarcastically.
Swig after swig, you drank the whole bottle until it was empty with only a single drop in the bottom. You twirled the bottle with the neck in your fingers watching the single drop race around with great interest.
You jumped abruptly as you heard the front door open and shut suddenly, and you sat up with a flash. The sound of footsteps grew closer. Your heart sped up, and a bead of sweat dripped down your forehead. You thought you had locked the door but the person walked right through as if it were their own home. You looked around the room for a projectile, at best a sharp one.
Damn, I left the knife on the kitchen counter!
With the sake bottle being all you had, you moved forward slowly, and as quietly as possible. The footsteps approached closer to the living room entrance, and a shadow of a man projected onto the wall. He seemed tall, the shadow stretching up and over the ceiling.
You held the sake bottle like you would a throwing knife, and waited until the right time. The man walked into the room, and Immediately you launched the bottle at him. He dodged it causing it to shatter against the wall behind him.
"Ishida?" You asked as you stared at the man in front of you. He looked at you with a wide eye behind half-rimmed glasses. The other was covered by long, raven bangs, with the left side tucked behind his ear.
"Fuck, I missed!" You said begrudgingly, and slumped your shoulders, feeling more relaxed knowing it wasn't an assailant.
"Yeah, you did." He said back, still quite baffled and confused.
"You're agreeing with me?" You said with a slurred accent that made it obvious you were intoxicated.
Are you drunk?" He asked changing the subject and his demeanor. His voice sounded impressively lower when he wanted to sound serious.
"What's it to you? I can be drunk if I want to." You wiped some sweat off your forehead.
"How many bottles?" He asked with a look of concern on his face. He pressed his hand lightly against one folded arm.
"Only one bottle... why do you ask Ishida! Your not my dad!" You walked toward him and lost your footing, nearly crashing to the ground. Uryu rushed over and caught you before you fell completely. "I can walk just fine!" You refused him as if you didn't almost hit your head on the hardwood floor.
"You need to rest! Come on!" He slung your arm over his shoulder and carried you up the stairs toward your room.
"Let go of me! I'm fine!" You let him support you up most of the way, too intoxicated to think straight. Once you both reached the top, it registered that he still had you leaning on him with your arm around his neck. He opened the door to your room carefully and attempted to help you in. You yelled and pushed him away. It didn't work out as well as you thought it would, and you tripped over your own feet falling face-first onto the bed.
Your name fell from Uryu's lips in slight exasperation at your stubborn, drunken state.
He lifted you up and set you comfortably on the bed and you continued to try and fight him off "Stop worrying about me, traitor! I am an independent woman and I can take care of myself!" Your words did not come off as stern as you wanted them.
"(F/n) you are drunk. You should rest for a while. Have you been getting sleep?" He said indicating the dark rings under your eyelids, and the red irritation clouding your scleras.
"No! I can sleep on my own time. I don't... I don't need you. You left me..."
"..."
"I'm sorry. My decision was final. It was for-"
"Your pride as a Quincy!" You cut him off, mocking his words with a petulant huff.
Uryu sighed and gave you a sorrowful expression. "If you want me to leave I will, but not until I know that you are healthy!" He said.
"I am quite comfortable and will be fine in the morning!" You tried to be hostile but your words were too drunken.
"Fine, I just came here to make sure you are ok." He said tiredly and turned his back to walk toward the door. He stopped suddenly and turned around to face you again. "Ichigo told me that you were feeling sick. He told me if I had any consideration left, I should come here and make sure you are all right."
"Yeah whatever, I was going to pretend this was all just a horrible nightmare tomorrow." You replied.
Your chest felt heavy as a small amount of realization hit.
"Okay" Uryu turned around and grabbed the doorknob.
Wait!" You stopped him abruptly.
"Hm," He responded wordlessly. You swallowed uncomfortably and licked your dry lips before responding.
"Please stay with me." You blurted without thinking too hard. " I-I mean... I can't sleep without you here... l just end up not sleeping at all." You blushed at your willingness despite your arguments and spiteful front. It was true that you could not sleep without him next to you. Before everything that happened, he was always there. A considerable part of you wanted him to leave to get the feeling of at least being in control, but you had to choose whether you valued sleep over pride.
Uryu sighed and walked to the bed. You waited for him patiently, hearing him slip his pants and his jacket off. He climbed under the covers and laid down so you were facing away from each other. There was a lasting awkward silence that went on for about five minutes.
"Well, I won't be able to sleep like this..." You finally spoke up. After a short pause, you felt the blanket shuffle against you, and your body tensed up as a pair of slim, noticeably strong arms wrapped around your waist. You felt his warmth radiate from beneath his thin t-shirt.
How long has he had muscle? You wondered, realizing the stark difference from the first time you met the scrawny nerd.
"This doesn't mean anything. I want you gone tomorrow, got it?" You pointed out, to make certain he didn't get the wrong idea.
"Yes, I get it. Go to sleep (f/n)." He sighed, his warm breath tickling the back of your neck.
What am I doing? Is this just because I can't sleep? I don't even feel drunk anymore, so why does my mind feel so clouded?
So many questions ran through your head, begging to be answered. You bit your lip as you tried to make sense of them but they came and went sporadically, and much to quickly they were replaced with a new question.
You felt shivers run down your spine as Uryu's chest move against your back. You could already feel the need to take him building up inside. You wanted to touch him and feel him the same way you used to. You wanted him to enter you and make you feel that intense pleasure that he used to make you feel. It pained you immensely that he left. You were so furious at him, but you also felt a deep depression and longing. It was an insatiable feeling that seemed to annoyingly interrupt the anger that you wanted to feel. You needed him to explain his actions in detail, so everything could go back to the way it was. So you could want everything to go back to the way it was.
You felt a hot tear drip down your face and you sucked in a quivering breath, making it much more audible than intended. Uryu caught onto this and responded by pressing a soothing kiss onto your neck. It tickled sweetly down your spine. Against your better judgment, you turned your body around to face him and hugged him, pressing yourself against his own warm body while you cried unashamedly.
"Why did you leave? I can tell you still love me." You admitted in your expressed sorrow. He hugged you tighter holding your small figure like he would lose you forever if he didn't.
"I already told you why." He replied softly.
"It's not enough!" You yelled into his shirt, but your tone wasn't spiteful in the least. Grief and sadness filled that void that was anger not too long ago. "You disappeared for an entire year afterward..." The latter half was said with less volume.
"I'm sorry." He replied with simplicity.
"Don't tell me you're sorry. It won't fix anything." A long pause followed your last words, leaving both of you in silence.
Uryu moved and your eyes shifted in utter confusion. He climbed on top of you pressing his pelvis and his chest into yours and stroked your face softly with his calloused, pale fingers.
He kissed your lips with intentions of love and regret. It was firm but gentle and chaste like he was trying not to break you any more than he did.
"Will, that fix it?" He whispered hopefully and left a single peck on the corner of your mouth.
"I... I don't know!" You replied, hesitating to say anymore. He kissed you again, but this time it was deep and ravenous. You felt his glasses slip out of place as they connected with your face. His lips devoured you with a burning passion that you had never felt him express before.
You returned the kiss eagerly and moaned into his lips that you had craved so much for the entire year he left you alone. You removed his glasses and felt for the side table. He scrunched his eyes shut at the sudden intense blur that followed their removal. You felt him rub his hand down your waist slowly and softly until he was cupping your hip with his palm possessively.
You desperately ground your hips, reacting to his intimate touching. He let out a lustful moan while you rubbed yourself against the growing erection beneath his briefs fervently.
He whispered your name heatedly.
You whispered back with a very similar tone. "Let's forget everything that happened." You didn't care to know what his plans were anymore. You didn't want him to explain everything in detail. All you wanted to do was forget it all and let him come back to you.
You felt his arousal twitch against your womanhood. You looked at him hopefully, wondering if your desperation would scare him off. A few seconds of silence went by before he nodded his head in agreement.
"Okay" He kissed you again, softly. The kiss deepened with fever and this time he was the one grinding. He rubbed himself along the sensitive skin underneath your shorts, and kissed your neck directly on the spot he knew was your weakness. He bit into it, making it sting enough to be pleasurable and sucked the marked area into his mouth.
"Ishida!" You moaned his name while he pleasured you, his wet lips and his excited thrusts stimulating your senses.
He ran his hand up your shirt leisurely and lifted the soft fabric above your bra. His mere touch forced goosebumps to form on the skin of your arms. He kissed the spot under your ear and licked it causing heat to pool between your thighs. He had gotten much better since the first time you did this.
Uryu sat up suddenly leaving you feeling confused and unsatisfied.
He's not leaving, is he?
A sudden negative thought poisoned your mind, reminding you of the trust that had been lost between the two of you.
Another part of you retaliated, telling you that he wasn't, but the feeling of dread weighed you down like a ton of bricks. That feeling soon became nonexistent when he lifted his shirt over his head and tossed it aside revealing his still slim, yet surprisingly fit torso.
As you had suspected he was physically stronger. Evidence that he had been training constantly for something that you had been shut out from knowing. His arms were lean from the constant shooting of his arrows in battle and in practice. He also developed more on his abdomen, probably from moving around so swiftly and so much.
It also explained the rough callouses on his formerly soft fingertips, however, they were still visibly lithe. You also noticed a change in his facial features. He looked more handsome, more elegant. Overall, he had grown into a graceful, physically mature version of himself. His social and mental maturity seemed to have developed significantly as well.
It hadn't been very long when you were both completely naked with your bare bodies pressed against each other. You had removed your clothes without hesitation, eager to feel each other completely. Your tongues collided as you kissed passionately, stroking in sync with each other. The feel of him inside your mouth was so familiar. It blew you away more than it ever did before. You were certain that neglect was to blame for the intense overstimulation.
Uryu parted from your lips temporarily and moved down your body. He trailed light kisses up your arm, then moved down your neck, and torso, sending pleasure in every area of your body. You gasped softly as his painfully hard cock slid against your lower lips, and you moaned desperately as it massaged your clit with long, delicious strokes.
You could feel the sweat drip down your leg as he teased you relentlessly, lowering his head and sucking on your round breast, adding to the pleasure. He kneaded your perk nipple with his tongue and gently blew on it, making your skin prickle and forcing another moan to slip past your lips. He flicked his tongue out and licked it before sucking it back into his mouth again, making your body desire him completely. He switched to your other nipple leaving only the cold air to touch the other erect one. His cock still teased your entrance, rubbing up and down your drenched folds.
"Please, I want to feel you inside me!" You begged while clutching his soft, raven hair in your fists and arched your back so your bare chest was pressed more deeply against his.
Without warning, he stopped rubbing his cock against your slit and held it in his hand. He massaged it slowly, moaning seductively with his eyes closed. His parted lips brushed against your jaw, as he stroked his cock before positioning his strong erection at your entrance. Pleasure and pain took over your senses as he pushed into you, stretching your walls and making you whimper with the sensitive tickle that followed.
He waited for a moment for you to adjust. Then he moved slowly thrusting his hips into you. You felt so full that you couldn't help but cry out and rake your fingernails down his back as his cock slipped further inside of you. He closed the space between your lips in a desperate kiss and, after connecting with your cervix, pulled back out. He thrust back in, a little harder this time, filling the void that kept you both apart for the second time that night.
You moaned deeply from the feeling you thought you'd never feel again.
Uryu grunted and began thrusting at a harder but still slow pace. You responded by whimpering gratefully into his neck, feeling the lust growing inside you. His thrusting hips got increasingly rougher as he grew closer to his release. He had always been pretty rough in his depression to cum, but the need for each other you shared at the moment was far more intense than any of the rough sex you had in the past.
He slammed into your cervix, making you moan loudly in repetition. He fucked you like you were experiencing the last moments together on a day that the world might end, and you fucked him back with equal intent.
Loud lust-filled moans and the lewd sounds of passionate sex filled the room following the lovemaking between the two if you. His thrusts became sloppy and erratic as your wetness increased. You were both covered head to toe in a thick sheen of sweat from the hard work put into your session. Your head fell back into your pillow, and your wet hair clung to your neck. You tightened around him, causing him to become more forceful. He lifted your legs higher, resting them on his shoulder to find an angle that would allow him to drive deeper inside.
You gripped his damp hair with one hand, his face buried into your neck and your own face pressed against his jaw. Your moans turned into desperate rasps and intentional growls, as your orgasm began to creep closer to its peak. It seemed to drive him crazy as he pumped into you faster and growled in answer to your feral cries.
He stopped for a moment to adjust his position and sat up, the pressure on top of you disappearing. Your breath hitched at the agonizing halt. He pushed one of your legs up higher, pressing your knee up against your chest and started the same pace again, but driving deeper, hitting that spot that made you go temporarily blind with ecstasy over and over.
You didn't realize you could become anymore aroused than you already were until you felt him stroke your clit with his thumb. It turned you on so much more with understanding. The simple action he used to make sure he showed you that he knew what he was doing, to contrast from the time when he didn't know what to do at all. He had grown so much since you met, and his experienced intentions drove you to your final release.
You came hard and a luxurious cry ripped from your throat, as your release spilled all over his cock. You rode out your orgasm as Uryu continued thrusting inside of you, allowing it to last longer. Not too much later, he came as well, groaning with a single forceful thrust as he filled you up inside.
Uryu's legs shook from the intensity, and he followed with a string of soft, airy moans. He thrust slowly a few more times, easing the throb and soothing the tension, before he pulled out with a sigh and laid down next to you. He let out a low hum in satisfaction and wrapped you in his arms, sticky with sweat, and buried his face into your neck.
He kissed it while you reached behind to stroke his own. you inhaled deeply, trying to calm your racing heart and burning lungs, as your fingers ran over the threads of soaked hair that clung to his slick neck.
"Did that make you feel better?" He
asked softly pecking your shoulder blade lovingly. you nodded. "Good, get some sleep (f/n)." you felt his heart pound just as fast as yours against your back, as he let out another soft sigh. A crooked smile grew at the corner of your lips as fatigue took over your body and your eyes closed leisurely into what was a deep, sorely needed sleep.
...
The next day, you woke up taking a deep breath while feeling the sheets next to you. They were warm and soft beneath your fingers. You groaned and stretched your body to loosen up a bit and wake yourself a little more. You felt the area beside you a little further, noticing the empty space that was left there.
Then it hit you. You remembered everything from last night. The kissing, the way he touched you, how you had made love. He had wrapped his arms around you, and you fell asleep with your bodies soaked with your efforts, tangled beneath the comforter.
When you woke up there were no arms wrapped around you, no one there to greet you in the morning. There was no kiss on your neck to remind you. It was just... empty. You were left empty with nothing but a major migraine from a regretful hangover. It was a good thing you were functional, and not blackout drunk.
"He's gone again." You thought out loud. Your voice was scratchy and hoarse from the long sleep. The words made your heart skip and your eyes started to tear up. You sat up slowly, not bothering to cover your naked body with the blanket.
You stared at the wall, thinking about Uryu.
Did he leave me again? Why can't he just stay?
Then you remembered what you said to him.
It's my fault he's gone.
You began to feel yourself cry, wiping the tears from your eyes with the bottom of your palm. You stopped and stared at a small, folded piece of paper on your side table. You eyed it curiously before leaning over and swiping the paper off of the table, unfolding it directly after.
Inside of it was a note. Your heart lept nearly out of your chest as you understood immediately what it was.
Dear (F/n),
I am incredibly sorry that I hurt you. It was wrong of me to push you away, and leave you for so long. I will do all that I can to make it up to you.
I love you (f/n),
Ishida
Your hands quivered, and you clutched the note to your chest before you could drop it. You let the insistent tears pour down your cheeks as relief washed over you all at once.
...