Day one of journaling:
I still think this is super stupid; mum is making me do this. I feel like I can't talk to Alice about this after she caught me in my room, I told her I would eat and I have been. I have been doing something else though that she isn't aware of, I haven't broken my promise to her, but I haven't been keeping my food in my stomach. Let's just say the toilet has gotten a ton of used food lately, I've lost more weight that way actually. Maybe this is a good thing.
I broke down; I had forgotten I started doing that. Tears started rolling down my cheeks, I put my journal aside and pulled out my camera, and of course the first picture that comes on is one of me and Ethan. We look so happy; we were in the park down town in my old town. We were on the swings, he was kissing my nose and I have the biggest smile on my face. Maybe getting back together with him wouldn't be so bad.
Day seventy two:
Today when I got home I found Ethan's motorcycle in my drive way, it looked like he had driven it up and jumped off not caring how it landed. The black paint was scratched off on the right side, I looked around for him but there is no sign. Later on I got a call from him, he was in jail. I had to go bail him out; he got arrested for vandalizing something down town. This isn't the first time he's gotten in trouble; after I bailed him out I dropped him off at his house. He lives alone for now after his mum kicked him out for punching a hole in the wall for the thousandth time. He gets kicked out, then his mum is stupid and lets him back in the house.
Day eighty:
Today I did it again, I didn't want to. I thought I had broken that habit, but right after I threw my razors away totally discussed with myself. I bandaged up the cuts, I knew by how deep they were there were going to be some more scars to add to my collection.
That was the last day I had written in my journal, I almost tore that page out right after I wrote it. I had cut after me and Ethan got into another fight, this time he yelled at me. I couldn't stay strong any longer. He doesn't know about that, or that I did anything I wrote in my journal. The only person who knows is Alice.