"She's crying." Eric grumbled as he nudged me with his elbow.
"Go and get her then." I replied and buried my head further into the pillow.
"It's your turn." He replied and yanked the sheet off of me.
I clenched my teeth together and fought the urge to punch him right in the face. I'd been awake most of the night, thinking about what Angelina had told me. Every time Ebonie had woken up, I'd dragged myself out of bed to tend to her and Eric had only done it once within the last eight hours.
I'd only had about three hours sleep, and what I really wanted to do was lay and cry just like a baby.
"You're an asshole," I muttered. "I've only had like three hours sleep."
"Sleeping." He mumbled obnoxiously and rolled over.
I clenched my teeth together again and kicked him, before rolling out of bed. He grunted and called me some particularly rude words, then pulled the sheet over his head.
I smirked, then quickly made my way over to the small crib in the corner. I reached in and picked up Ebonie, cradling her in my arms. She was still so tiny, and my heart fluttered every time I looked at her. She reminded me of Nathan so much.
"Hey baby girl, what's the matter?" I cooed quietly, softly stroking her cheek. Her crying didn't let up, so I rocked her slowly. It ceased a little, but she still made grumbly noises. I lifted her higher to smell her diaper, and once I was sure that she didn't need a diaper change, I carried her back over to the bed and sat down. She just needed rocking back to sleep.
I leaned back against the headboard and lifted my knees, then laid her on my lap. My legs supported her body and I stroked her cheek again.
"Come on you, shhh... go back to sleep so Auntie Jac can get some rest... please?" I whispered, bobbing my knees up and down slowly whilst rocking them in an attempt to quietened her.
Eventually, she settled, and I didn't have to move as much. I slowly shifted her and pulled her into my arms again, rocking slowly until she fell asleep. I glanced up at the crib through the darkness and groaned when I thought about how far away it was. I really didn't have the energy to move.
I sighed, then slowly laid Ebonie down beside me. I stuffed a pillow between her and Eric in case he rolled over, then laid on my side and settled down next to her. I wasn't going to stay like this for long... just for a few minutes, until I found the energy to carry her back to the crib.
~
I awoke a few hours later, and my heart almost jumped out of my mouth as I realised that I'd fallen asleep with Ebonie beside me. I snapped my eyes open, expecting to see her, but startled when I realised that she wasn't there, and neither was the pillow.
"Good morning." Eric spoke. I looked up to find him laid on his back, with a book in one of his hands and a sound asleep baby on his chest. "I didn't realise that we were going to end up with three in a bed."
"Morning... I'm sorry, I fell asleep. I laid her down for a moment, and then I crashed out."
He smiled. "It's alright. It was a nice surprise."
"It looks like you both got pretty cosy.."
"Yeah, you know, she's pretty cool. She actually farted on me earlier, I laughed so hard." He grinned and tried to hold back his laughter.
I bit my lip and giggled quietly.
"Trying to laugh quietly so that you both didn't wake up was really hard... But uh, yeah. Respect to the little thunder pants."
I laughed again and covered my mouth with my hand. "When she's old enough to understand, I'm so going to high-five her for that."
He chuckled silently, and Ebonie bobbed up and down as his chest moved. "So am I! No one here except her can say that they've farted on a Dauntless leader."
I laughed once more then shook my head, a smile present on my lips.
"What kept you up all night? Except thunder pants over here.."
"Erm..." I paused for a moment, trying to find the right words to say. I'd debated with myself all night before finally coming to a decision. "Angelina caught up with me yesterday... and kinda pressured me a bit more with the leadership thing."
"And?"
"And... I'm gonna do it."
"Seriously?"
"Dead serious. I want to join leadership."
He grinned again. "Great. I'll talk to the others this morning."
"Okay."
"What made you change your mind?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. I just thought that I'm actually okay with Ebonie, so I may actually be of some use to you guys. Plus yours and Angelina's words played on my mind a little."
He smiled. "I'm really proud of you."
"You are?"
"Yeah." He placed down the book and held Ebonie in place as he turned to press a kiss to my lips. "Extremely."
~
Eric and I ate in the apartment with Ebonie, before he headed off to a meeting and I prepared myself to do some work. I strapped Ebonie into the carrier, then attached it to myself and collected the baby bag, before heading up to the library. I didn't have much to do, so I'd have some peace and quiet before heading up to the control room.
I sorted out a few of the books, and a regular visitor, Jem, came and returned a few, then I sat at the desk and relaxed for a moment. I was about to begin reading the blurb on one of the books that Jem had returned when Freddie loudly made his way in.
"You are so heavy footed!" I told him, rolling my eyes.
"It's an echoey hallway out there! I'm not at fault!" He replied and pulled a chair up opposite me.
"Yeah, yeah, I believe you." I mumbled. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"I wanted to look for a book... But first, I wanted to show you my newest tattoo."
"You got another?" I questioned.
"I added to my first one." He said and pulled his shirt over his head. I frowned as I realised that his first tattoo had been his family's initials... had his Mom had a baby or something?
He turned to show me the tattoo, and four extra initials had been added.
T.C • N.L • P.S • J.S • C.S • E.L • J.C
I smiled as I realised that he'd added Talulah, Nathan, Ebonie and I onto his back.
"Freddie... it's wonderful." I gasped.
"I just figured that you guys are more of a family to me now than they are..."
"You didn't have to add us onto it though.." I said quietly. "Not that I'm complaining about it."
He pulled his shirt back on then turned back to me, a smile on his lips. "I wanted to."
"Ugh, now I have to do something extravagant to show you how much you mean to me!" I grumbled, the smile still present on my face.
"A tattoo of my face on your forehead would do just nicely." He joked.
I scoffed, then smirked. "So you basically want me to get a cock tattoo'd on my head?"
He chuckled. "As insulted as I am... good from you."
I giggled quietly, then glanced down at Ebonie who was beginning to stir.
Freddie followed my eyes and looked down at the carrier. "How is my favourite girl?" He questioned.
"She's good. She was up a lot last night, I think she's missing her Mom..." I sighed. "And I think she knows that Uncle Freddie is here because she just woke up."
"She'll get used to it. She'll find comfort from you."
"I know." I smiled.
"So, do I get a cuddle?"
I looked back down at Ebonie and began to speak in a childish tone. "I don't know, what do you think Ebonie? Should Uncle Fredster get a cuddle? Huh? Should Fredster get a snuggle?"
"Shutup and hand her over!" He said, grinning. "I've not seen her in days, you selfish Aunt."
"Well, I wasn't Abnegation for a reason." I smirked at him, then lifted Ebonie out of the carrier.
Freddie stood up and leaned over the table to take her from my arms, then sat back down. I pulled the carrier off of me and sat it on the desk, then leaned back in my chair.
"Do you ever wonder how Nathan would've been with her?"
"All the time." He answered, glancing up at me. "He'd have adored her."
"Yeah.."
"And she looks like him, so he'd have been ridiculously proud."
Another smile formed on my lips and I nodded. Ebonie was beginning to look more and more like her Father with every day that passed.
"I miss him..." I mumbled.
"I do too. Every single day." He replied. "Hanging out with Luke, and Nick and Dion is fun, but none of them are him. He was the best."
I nodded again. "He really was." I felt tears well up in my eyes again and tried to blink them back. I still became tearful every time that he was mentioned.
Freddie noticed. "Come here, come sit with us."
I swallowed, then made my way around the desk.
Freddie pulled me onto his lap, put one arm around my waist, and the other held Ebonie in front of me. I looked down at the little girl, and blinked back more tears before leaning against Freddie.
"Just think, in a few years we'll be able to tell her all about her Dad." He said.
"It really is a shame that she never had the chance to meet him."
Freddie nodded. "Yeah, but she's kinda part of him. As Talulah said, 'a gift from him'. She's gonna be awesome too."
I laughed lightly. "Yeah, I guess. Hopefully she'll follow in his footsteps and rank first in her initiation too."
"Think she'll be a Dauntless?"
"Oh yeah, definitely." I grinned. "She farted on a leader this morning, that girl is fearless."
Freddie threw his head back and chuckled loudly, causing me to join in. I giggled and watched as he laughed, a feeling of warmth and admiration flowing through me. I admired how he powered through everyday and was so strong, physically and emotionally. I loved him so much, he was the brother I'd never had, and I was certain that none of us would have been here today without him. He was a rock.
~
Author's note; I know I kind of suck with the updates recently, but I've still got writers block. I know where I want the story to go, I'm just struggling with the bits in between. I was actually discussing this with my friend this morning, and she said about how she did a question and answer with the people that read her book and it inspired her to continue writing. So I'm going to give it a try!
Any questions you have, please leave them in the comments and I will post and answer them in my Q&A book that will be posted in a few days!
Questions can be for me as the author, or for the characters, to which I will answer from their point of view! (Of course, I can't give you spoilers!)
Thank you all for reading, and I really hope that the Q&A will help to inspire me and thrash this writers block!!!
Oh and for anyone on twitter... you should totally follow me: @LadyAlexBastian.