A perfect month went by and I swear it was just like one of those teenage movies, that seemed to good to be true and made you all excited for college, just to disappoint you, when you finally got there. But here I was living that teenage movie and I had to admit it wasn't half bad.
I had everything pretty much balanced with class and Jimin. In the beginning my grade had started to drop but now I was back on track with them. I still spend as much time with Jimin as possible, now both hanging out at my room with Namjoon there, and hanging out at his room with Taehyung. I got pretty close with Taehyung and considered him a friend, while I'm pretty sure Jimin did the same with Namjoon. Taehyung was gay as well and it didn't take me long to figure out, that he was texting with someone, he surely liked judging by his goofy smile, whenever his phone lighted up with a new text. For exsample like it did right now.
Jimin and I were on Jimin's bed after having finished homework. We had gotten to be more comfortable doing skinship infront of him, so I was lying down with two pillows behind my head, for support. Jimin was lying with his head on my chest near my shoulder and his leg and arm swung over me. We were all just talking but sometimes Taehyung checked out of the conversation to reply to his mysterious whatever they were.
One day I had asked Jimin if Taehyung had a boyfriend and Jimin had been half-joking when he asked, if I was planning to leave him for Taehyung. I had assured him that was not case and kissed him until his frown was a smile. Then he had told me that he was single and why I asked. I explained the situation and since then Jimin had noticed as well. He hadn't said anything as it usually wasn't that bad but today it was every other minute, making it near impossible to hold up a conversation with Taehyung.
"Tae who are you texting?" Jimin finally asked and Taehyung put his phone down, his cheeks turning red, like he was caught in doing something bad.
"No one." He said a bit too fast and harsh.
"Well whoever this no one is, they sure make you smile like it's someone." Jimin said and Taehyung started to stammer up a response, which really wasn't working for him. Jimin started to laugh while I felt sort of sorry for Taehyung. "Tae it's fine. I'm sure you'll tell me whenever you're ready." Taehyung mumbled something niether one of us could quite hear and continued to text. I turned my attention to Jimin who smiled and me. I kissed his forehead, feeling yet again blessed to have him.
"I think it's kinda sweet to have a secret relationship or whatever is going on." I said and Jimin raised an eyebrow at me, with a little smirk.
"Oh like Jin and Namjoon had? You would rather not be able to kiss me in public? Not be able to hold my hand?" Jimin asked and I thought it over, and decided it would be hell, not being able to do any of those things.
"I guess it's not that sweet." I said and smiled at Jimin who planted a kiss on my jawline.
"Yeah I thought you would change your mind about that." Jimin said, he shifted his look to Taehyung who was still texting. "By the way I don't know if I should be hurt or impressed that you didn't tell me about Jin and Namjoon. I mean I was pretty surprised when they came into the cafeteria holding hands. Though I was even more surprised when you weren't surprised at all."
"Babe they asked me not to tell anyone. I was being a considerate friend. Be impressed by my skills to keep a secret and know I keep all your secrets too." I said and Jimin pushed his underlip out, so the cutest pout appeared.
"But you're my boyfriend, there should be no secrets between us." He said and blinked a few extra times, really trying to make me feel guilty.
"You know I have a willpower like nothing else, I can resist your cuteness." I said teasing him and letting my hand go through his blonde hair. He intensified his cuteness and I couldn't help but to laugh slightly. "Damnit you got me. No more secrets between us." I said and pulled him up so I could kiss him. He started to smile into the kiss. It was that kind of kiss, where it wasn't that easy to stop. Not that it was heated, far from it but it was content and loving. His hand was on my cheek and my arms were wrapped around him as he was lying on top of me.
"Guys I'm still in the room." Taehyung said and Jimin pulled away from the kiss.
"Go back to your mystery boyfriend and leave us be." He said which made Taehyung blush and mumble something new. Jimin kissed me again and I pressed him harder against me, absolutely loving to have him close. After a while we stopped and Jimin moved to put his head on my chest.
We stayed like that pretty much until dinner and then went to his room again, talking with Taehyung before I left to go to bed.
The next day Jimin and I were in the music room, I had just finished a piece and Jimin took his phone down. He must've have thousand of videos with me playing piano on that thing.
"I wish I could play piano." He said as he walked over to me, placing himself on my lap.
"I could teach you." I said and put my arm around his waist, while he put one around my neck.
"Nah, I enjoy to see you play way too much. Plus it would take ages." Jimin said and looked at the piano.
"I'm sure it wouldn't." I said even though I really had no idea.
"Oh it would. I'm not like my little brother who can just learn everything in an impressive short amount of time." Jimin said and turned his look to me. Jimin had only mentioned his little brother shortly once before, and I hadn't really gotten the chance to ask into it.
"How old is he? Your little brother." I asked interested in his family.
"He's two years younger than me." He said not really giving me an answer and leaving me to do the math myself.
"Is he your only sibling?" I asked.
"Yeah. We're actually really close. I adore him so much. He's a lot taller than me and always pushes me around and teases me, but I know at the end of day, if I need him to be there for me, he will." Jimin said with a warm feeling in his voice. It was easy to tell that he really loved him.
He had turned his head so he looked out the window, like he was remembering an old memory.
"What's his name?" I asked in a hushed voice without intending to.
"Jungkook." Jimin said and smiled slightly, showing further how much he cared for his younger brother.
"Are you close with your parents too?" I asked as we had never talked about them. We had pretty much left that whole conversation about family behind us after Jimin had asked me about mine.
"Yeah. My whole family and I are close. When I was little my mom was sick and we didn't have a lot of money, so sometimes we would curl up under a blanket, to get some heat, if we couldn't pay the bill on time. Later my mom got better and she got a job. We started to have money and live a nice life. Though sometimes out of habit we still curl up under a blanket together. All of us. Under one huge blanket. We watch movies together and I know I can tell them all of my worries. When I came out as gay, they just hugged me and told me they loved me. The funny thing is my little brother came out as bisexual exactly one year later. They did the same to him. They are just really loving and I really love them." Jimin had gotten tears in his eyes talking about them. I guessed it was because he missed them and I hugged him tighter. "It's a little hard to be away from them, you know?." Jimin said and I didn't tell him that I didn't know.
"I think it sounds like a lovely family you got yourself." I said and Jimin dried his tears away. "I wish mine was like that." I added and looked down.
"Yoongi you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I didn't tell you that expecting something back." Jimin said but I shook my head.
"I want you to know." I said and moved Jimin off my lap. I moved him to sit next to me and grabbed his hands because I knew I needed the strength.
"The thing is, it's not a very happy story." I said and took a deep breath, not meeting his eyes, instead fixing my attention on our hands. "You know I got anxiety, well I've had it since I was nine years old. I just didn't know at the time. I knew I was different, always over analyzing things and not really fitting in with kids my age. I had a few close friend but even so, I knew we thought very differently. I wasn't good at being social and I can't tell you how many times my mom pushed me to play with the other kids. I'm an only child so I guess she wanted me to have it all, instead she ended up with an anxiety filled kid. As I got older it only got worse, I had a hard time being in school, I couldn't sleep in the evening. I was so worried about everything, about if I fell asleep would I die. Would my parents die during the night. Had I said something bad to them that had upset them. If people were one minute late to an appointment, I assumed something terrible had happened to them. I ended up seeking help myself at age sixteen because every time I told my parents they just shrugged it off. It ended up with having to go to a therapist. We cleared the anxiety part pretty well and I learned to deal with it, both the social anxiety and the other anxiety about having bad thoughts. Then we started to talk about my family. My therapist told me I lived in a harmful environment. My mom constantly made comments about how I look, and not good ones. She would dominate every aspect of my life and thought it was alright to tell everyone how fucked up her son was. She would go on and on about how I went to a therapist and they were so happy they caught the problem so early. When I came out as gay, I guess my mom took it alright but my dad made comments all the time. It hurt me a lot. I wanted to leave so badly but I couldn't so I stayed put and waited for college. Now I don't want you to think it was all bad. I have good memories with my parents, I really do and I don't hate them but...it's hard to know you live in a harmful environment and not be able to do anything about it. It feels like something just cracked between us and it never really got put into place." I kept my tears back for most of it but finally I couldn't stop them and they went down my cheeks like a small river.
"Oh Yoongi I'm so sorry." Jimin said his voice mushy as he pulled me into a hug. Usually I would be embarrassed to cry like that, but with Jimin I didn't care. I cried into his shoulder while he held me tightly.
"I just wish it hadn't been like that. Even now I hardly talk to them and when I'm home, we're never really able to talk much." I said and kept crying, soaking Jimin's shirt.
"It's okay. I can't pretend to know your situation but I promise you that with me you're safe." Jimin said and it gave me a feeling for comfort. I pulled away from him and he dried my tears away. I was sure my eyes were all puffy and red but I didn't care.
"Thank you Jimin for not thinking I'm a freak and for not judging me." I said really meaning it, some people came out as quite judgmental, when they found out I didn't talk a lot with my parents. They said I should appreciate them and that I was ungrateful.
"I love you." I said the words before I could stop them. We hadn't said them before even though I've wanted to so many times. Jimin couldn't quite hide his smile despite the situation we were in.
"I love you too." Jimin said and I could do nothing but smile when I saw his excited eyes.
"I hadn't meant to tell you like that." I said and felt myself feeling a little better now that we were moving away, from the subject that was my past.
"It dosn't matter." Jimin said and kissed my forehead. "To me it was perfect." He said and pulled me into another hug. I hugged him tightly and I felt all the sadness melt away.
"I love you so much." I said again even though it became muffled into his shoulder. He pulled away grinning.
"I love you so much." He said. This time it was me who pulled him in but this time a kiss. It was filled with a lot of emotion but it was perfect for the moment. When we pulled away we grabbed our things and went to my room as I knew Namjoon was out. We laid on my bed tangled up, sharing kisses and telling each other over and over how much we loved each other. It was so cheesy but I knew it contained more. Sharing that story, had somehow made our relationship more profound. It wasn't just a college relationship. It was real and I hoped it would never end.