I felt sick to my core. Even though Victor had assured me that his arrest would be simple, I could not shake my horrid feeling. I could not bear to see him leave in such a matter. I had the same nightmare every night, and it never changed in its darkness. I was forced to watch the man I loved beaten by the men he considered brothers. And I was paralyzed in my slumbers, unable to move in both my dreams and my bed. I felt utterly hopeless.
That morning felt like it my life was being dragged from me. I woke to Victor scribbling furiously at my desk. His clothes for his arrest were laid across the trunk at the end of our bed. He seemed ready for the trials ahead of us. I forced myself to rise from our bed, wrapped in his robe to keep warm, and I waddled to him. Victor welcomed me with open arms, pulling me into his lap.
"Good morning, my love." He said, pushing away his previous task. He cupped my neck and pulled me into him for a kiss, one I gladly accepted. "How are you feeling?" He asked, reaching out to stroke my stomach.
"He is restless, as is his mother. Nothing you could say could ease either of us." I whispered. I turned around, reaching for his paperwork. "What were you writing?"
"My last will and testament, just in case we've misread the trial." He said, stroking my stomach. "It only states that if I were to pass, Lord Clark takes soul responsibility of you, Helen, and the baby until you remarry. And in the case that you pass, he is to adopt our baby." I pressed the paper to my chest, willing my tears to stay at bay.
"You are too good, Victor. I do not deserve you." I whispered. "Where did you get the uniform from? I thought you were discharged."
"Not formally. My arresting officers are charged with notifying me of my pending discharge. After the trial will be my discharge characterization. I will be tried as an officer." Victor kissed my forehead before releasing me. "We must dress, for I do believe your mother is planning a wonderful breakfast." I slid off Victor's lap and began to rummage for a dress to wear. I wanted Victor to remember me happily and strong. I did not want him to see me cry today. Victor dressed quickly, putting on his army attire. He looked like a different man. I could only imagine the type of person he used to be. He was someone who was rigid, steadfast, with nothing to lose. Now, he was a different man. He was caring, courageous and had everything to lose.
"You look like a heroic soldier." I whispered, pulling out my plainest dress.
"I was, in my past life, Abigail." He said, finishing his buttons. "Soon enough, if the courts allow it, I will be Doctor Gray. I will practice my trade in the main village as my wife and children are safe. Doesn't that sound like a great dream, my love?"
"It sounds perfect, Victor." I whispered. I pulled on my petticoats and tied them over my stomach before pulling on my gown.
"Let me help you, my love." Victor said, moving behind me to lace my dress together. Once Victor was finished, he pressed a kiss against the back of my neck. "Beautiful as ever." I turned around and placed my hands on Victor's chest.
"What are you thinking, Abigail?" Victor murmured, raising his hands to my cheeks.
"I am always thinking of something, Victor." I closed my eyes as I leaned into his hands. "I am trying to commit you to memory, because I doubt I will be able to see you until after the trial."
Victor kissed my head before drawing me into his arms. I melted into his body, fighting to keep my emotions at bay. "I will always come home to you," he whispered in my ear. "Never forget that." Victor released me and took my hand. Without another word, we left our room and made our way to breakfast, the last meal we would have together for some time. We entered the dining room, and it was as if my mother had prepared for a funeral.
"Come, my dears, breakfast is nearly over!" She exclaimed from beside Papa. Victor helped me into the seat beside my sister, then took his own. It was too quiet for breakfast, since the only chatter was the forks and knives scraping against the china. I could not take the silence, I needed the buzz of chatter and hearty laughter.
"Are we at church?" I asked sourly. My mother looked at me with wide eyes. "I can only assume we are a church because no one is speaking to one another. I cannot fathom any other reason to the unnerving silence."
"Abigail, I do not understand—"
"Are we mourning someone today? I thought today's events were to see my husband arrested and to plan a course of action to free him. Or should I change into a mourning gown?" I snapped, bawling my hands into my skirt. Victor grasped it below the table and rubbed his thumb over my knuckles.
"Thank you, Mama, for this wonderful meal. I know you have put a great deal of thought into it." Victor said to my mother, smiling politely. Mama smiled back as she took a bite of her food. I felt my father's gaze as I picked at my food. I was in no mood to eat, but my child needed it.
"Abby, are you alright?" Papa queried, placing his utensils down. I nodded my head as I stroked my stomach.
"I am alright, Papa. I'm not terribly hungry."
Victor closed his eyes as his empty hand found mine once again. I knew he felt guilty, but there was no use dwelling over it. I squeezed his hand as I placed it over the swell of my stomach. I couldn't bear to see him so distraught. I had a duty to keep him safe, as well as our child.
"Beg our pardon," I announced, standing with Victor's hand in mine. I led him to a corridor, probably one frequented by servants, and kissed my husband. He needed to know that this was never his fault, no matter what he told himself.
"Victor, you are most descent man, brother, husband, doctor, human, I have ever known. No matter what they tell you, you must know that I know you did what was right. You were brave, my love, and no one can tell you otherwise. Do not ever let them change your mind. Because I will always be nagging you with the truth." My lips brushed his lightly before I moved to look at his face. His eyes were brimming with tears, and his arms were tight around my waist.
"You are the greatest thing to have ever happened to me, Abby." He pressed a kiss to my forehead. I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. I didn't want to forget its steady rhythm. The pounding of feet against the hard floor pulled us apart.
"They're marching up the road, Victor!" Helen exclaimed, her cheeks flushed with panic. Victor grabbed my hand and headed towards the rest of the family. Helen followed behind us, nervously chattering away. I did not blame her. I felt as though I were going to empty the contents of my stomach. When we re-entered the dining room, my parents were standing in front of the windows.
"It's time," Victor announced, squeezing my hand tight. Papa turned and nodded once before moving towards the foyer. We followed, like a processional to a grave yard. It was time to say good-bye. Victor hugged my brothers and sister, then my mama and papa. I heard him mutter thanks as he squeezed my mother one last time. Albert stood next to me, his arm around my waist as Helen jumped into her brother's arms. The knock on the door did not phase their intimate moment, but it made my heart skip a beat. He was leaving me. Victor released Helen as my father opened the door to reveal the blaring red coats of his arresting officers. Victor rushed to my open arms and held me close. I held back my sobs as he kissed me ferociously. He was saying an indefinite good bye, but I would not accept it.
"I love you, Abigail," He croaked as he released me.
"Lieutenant Grey, upon Her Majesty's orders, we here by arrest you—"
"Come home to me, Victor," I begged as I watched him back away. He turned towards his arresting officers, who looked at him with pity.
"—on the grounds of murder, treason, and deserting Her Majesty's Army—"
"I love you, Victor!" I exclaimed.
"The details of your discharge will be determined by the outcome of your trial against Lord Neville and the murder of his brother, Lieutenant Matthew Neville." I watched as Victor was hand-cuffed and escorted calmly from the building. Albert grabbed me around the waist and held me as my world came crashing down.
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Hello Lovelies!
So sorry about the long waits between updates. I've had terrible writers block and not to mention I had so much to do at work over Christmas break. I will try to update some while I am back at school, but I can't make any promises.
Keep an eye out for other story updates and always check out Radish!
Lots of Love,
DoctorWho