"You know what Rishi. Come, sit here." I gestured him to sit on the bed. "You've always been there talking about my life. Let us today talk about yours, okay? So tell me. How's life? What are you doing nowadays? What's been happening around? Any relations you might have kept with anyone? And oh, are you following Mark Zuckerberg? Because he also wears only one T-Shirt as you wear. He wears a plane grey tee, and you a black one having that line 'Think Out Of The Box'. Come on, tell me something about you."
He didn't utter a single word. I thought, he understood what was he doing. But the next thing which he told me, shattered me like anything.
"I must leave."
"Oh, you are going somewhere?" and he got up and went to the main door. "When are you going to be back?" I asked.
He turned back, looked at me, and he said,
"Never."
And he slammed the door. I ran hurriedly to catch the door. I opened it and called out 'Rishi!' but I couldn't see him anywhere. I came back to my room to check where was he going. I waited on the window for ten minutes, but I couldn't see him.
Did I really listen properly to what he said? He said he'll never come back. Why did he say that? Did he mean that? Was it my fault? I've lost him. But he was my friend. But I lost him. But he was my friend.
That's what I started telling myself. I had no contacts to him. He never met anyone else other than me. He always came to my house without telling me and he knew how my day went. He used to read me. He just can't go because I talked to him like that. He is not that stupid. I need to find him. I quickly went down and my eyes only searched him. I ran few blocks away, tried to find him, but he wasn't anywhere. I even went to my building's terrace to see whether he went there. But he wasn't there.
I came home and opened my laptop. Searched for him there. But all I could find was a million more people with the name Rishi, but not the one whom I was finding. I was about to cry. My head started paining. But I had to find him. I searched for any notes of paper he might have left for me somewhere, but no, my house had no traces of him. Rishi was such a guy that whatever he did, was backed by a reason. I searched for hope under the sofa, on the fan, scanned the whole kitchen, my cupboard, even those plants, but I didn't find anything.
It was three days later that I went to C5. The place where me and Piyu fought. The place where memories were stored and the place where people came to smoke. I lit up a cigarette and thought about those three days. I had my asses of my bed or any other seat just to find him. I constantly kept on thinking of what he said that day, about Arush, about Naina and I tried to find that 'never coming back' actually meant something else and not the literal meaning. I reminisced he telling me that 'Sometimes life shows you that, what you were thinking of something huge and jaw dropping, was actually a simple, small truth.' Was I really never going to meet him again?
And in this life of life and death, we all are broke once, for too much of sadness is a drug of happiness with turns
That song. It was what I only sang but never ever thought of. This was one such moment where I was broke. But the latter of that phrase I didn't understand. Was my sadness a drug for the happiness which I might experience later? And what did 'turns' mean?
My mind was blasting. Moreover the cigarette was giving me a strong kick. I only roamed the whole three days finding him. But after that cigarette, I decided to roam even more but only to somehow gulp down my pain. My broken heart needed some air. I took my scooter and headed to...well, there wasn't any destination I thought of. I just dragged myself in the drag of my life. And in that drag, my head started paining once again.
* * * * * * * *
Peeeeeeeeeep! Peeeeeeeeep! Peeeeeeeeeep!
I got up. It was night then. Someone in a car behind me was honking. I realized that I was on the opposite side of a school near my house, near a garden. That car driver didn't stop honking. I crossed the road and parked my scooter besides the footpath outside that school. My head was aching. I checked my phone. It was 9pm. I saw few missed calls. Mom and dad had called me. I looked around, so that my headache could lessen a little bit. I called up mom.
"Where are you Manav? I'm calling since an hour!"
"Yeah, I just saw. My phone was on silent mode" but it was not. "I was in a meeting. Actually there's this new project we are setting up. I'm sorry I didn't pick up." I lied.
"Well, okay. Come soon." She said.
"Yeah. Now I'm meeting Shlok for sometime and then I'll come home."
"Okay. Don't be too late." And she cut the call.
My head was severely aching. I tried to think how did I end up here. I assumed due to my headache I might have landed up here and fell asleep.
Rishi
Some voice in my head said. And I came back to my senses. I called up Priyanka. I wanted someone by my side.
"Hey can you meet me right now?"
"Oh, now?"
"Yeah, please."
"Umm...okay."
"Thanks."
* * * * * * * *
Phone ringing...
Naina picks up.
"Yes?"
"He called." Priyanka said.
"Oh, what for?"
"He wants to meet me. Right now!"
"Well, okay. Go meet him."
"Yeah. I told him I will. But did you forget?"
"What? Oh yeah, he didn't come to college for three days. At least I couldn't see him stalk me."
"Yes! What does that mean then?"
"I don't know. Just go and meet him. Maybe you'll get to know what is it about."
"Okay."
* * * * * * * *
She came in sometime.
"What happened?"
"Let's walk." I said.
"Your eyes look drowsy Manav."
"Oh, yeah. I've been getting a headache since last three days."
"Oh. Take care."
"Yeah."
We walked for a while. We didn't talk about anything. She was silent, and I was silent. A dog passed us, maybe looked at us for we both didn't say a word to each other. But later,
"Have you ever felt like, there was someone, who helped you a lot in life and then that someone just leaves you because of one fight?" I said in a very low tone.
She remained silent.
"Like you can't contact the other person, you don't know where has that other person gone, you know nothing."
She still kept silent. But she looked at me with worry. But I didn't look at her at all.
"For once, you are broken into pieces like anything! You want to give up everything for that person, because now you realize their worth, that it was even more than what you thought! You start learning the true meaning of regret! You start feeling guilt! You experience all that what you try no to! Once that person leaves you."
"Stop!" she said. "No. Nothing changes. You just need to learn and move on in life." I later thought she remembered her ex – the emoji guy, who as per Rishi was Arush.
"There's no stopping Piyu! And what you claim 'learning', is nothing but adjusting to the fact that you can't control time. That's when you start fearing time. That person just goes away from you, and treats you as a complete stranger! You mean no one to that person later on. That person expels you from life. And you are left alone. You understand that what you thought of yourself was mere dust and nothing more than that." I focused on her eyes. She looked into mine. She was thrown back into her past about which I never knew.
"You know why?" I said. "Why?" she whispered.
"Because that's the truth."
As I kept on looking into her eyes, she realized I had held her arms. She jerked and lurched to breathe in. She let herself go away from me a little. And I went blank. I stood there, on the footpath. Trying to think, what was I thinking, but later it came to me that, I didn't think anything. My head started paining even harder.
Rishi
That voice uttered his name again. I saw Priyanka making a call.
"Hello, Shlok. You need to come here right now! Manav has freaked out! He's freaked me out! Please! Come, I don't know what is happening to him." she said in a crying tone.
"Are you trying to...Piyu?" I asked.
"NO! Don't come near me. Stay away!" she said as she stepped back one step at a time. I stepped forward, slowly, slowly.
I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards me and she saw that a car passed her.
"It was the car. You would've died." I said. She didn't knew what to say.
"What has happened to you Manav?" she said.
"Happened to me? You are saying there has something happened with me. What are you saying Priyanka?"
"You are being very very very weird right now!" she said.
"What? Ahhh!!!" I said as I held my head and I fell on to my knees on the road. She came to me, tried to manage me, and I looked at her and said, "He left me." and she took back her hands off me. She was puzzled.
In a while, Shlok came along with Shefali, Dev, Omkar and Tanmay.
Everyone saw me fallen on the ground and Priyanka was standing beside me. When she saw everyone come she went and hugged Shefali tight. She was horrified by this kind of behavior of mine.
Shlok looked at me.
"Hey, Manav! Manav! What happened here Priyanka?"
"He was behaving as if he was tripped."
I gradually opened up my eyes. I couldn't believe Shlok was standing there beside me.
"Shlok!!! Shlok!!" I said and grabbed his feet. He turned in surprise and helped me to get up. he concentrated on my face, being drowsy, my eyes a little red and watery, he asked me,
"What is this?"
"What is what?" I asked.
"You are in pain." He said.
"That's why I like you being in my life. Please never leave me as he did. Don't ever make me feel like this ever again! And you won't understand what I'm saying right now, but trust me, this feeling what I'm feeling right now, is just because..." I paused, I rubbed my eyes.
"Because what?" Shlok asked.
"Because he's not there anymore."
"Who?"
"I don't have his phone number. He wasn't on social media. He had no friends except me. There is no way I can contact him. He used to come to my house without telling me. I don't even know where did he stay. And yet, he was the one who was there for me all this while. Was I too wrong with him? Will he forgive me? He's very good in solving problems than me. It was my fault. I have no picture of him. He just went.
He's gone." I said.
"Who?" Shlok asked.
"Rishi."
"Who?"
"Rishi!"
"Who's Rishi?" I stared at him.
"You don't know Rishi? How come you don't know Rishi?"
"No, who is Rishi?"
"I never told you?"
"You told nobody." Dev said.
"Not even you Shefali?"
"No Manav." I was thinking about what was happening. I looked around.
"Hey look, this is the same place I met Rishi. This school, this footpath, this time..."
I took some time to recollect whether I had by chance told them about Rishi. And then I looked at Shlok.
"Hey, I told you about Rishi."
"When?" Shlok asked.
"At your party that night."
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
"Umm...I can't tell you exactly, but I think it's because, like, as I said they are always there; in our life almost all the other stuff we see has a possibility of misplacing somewhere and we might lose them. But those stars, even if one dies, there are a million more, so you are never out of stars. And moreover, they stay there and even if they don't talk to you, they let me sense some kind of, you know, some kind of bonding. I really don't know what is it, but it's there. Like you just know that it exists." I said.
"Yes, absolutely. That bonding comes from 'Faith' or you could say 'Belief'. Faith and belief over those stars that they are your so called true companions." Shlok said.
"Yeah, I guess you are right. You talk like Rishi."
"Who?"
"Rishi...oh wait, you don't know him, well, no one does actually." Shlok remembered.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
"Oh yes. But you never told me who was he."
"He was my friend. And I lost him. But he was my friend. But I lost him. But he was my friend."
"Manav! Manav! Look at me." Shlok said.
"Who is Rishi?"
"No one."
"What?"
"He was no one."
"I'm not understanding what you are saying."
"He wasn't real."
"Not real?"
"Rishi, he was a part of me. He never existed. But he was no less than a human. He's the one who helped me stand again in life! And now I'm never going to see him again!"
Shlok was baffled. Everyone were confused. My head started paining again. I yelled in discomfort and I became unconscious. What happened next? I had no idea.