Lucy had spent the past week rather lonely.
Natsu was a disappearing act. He was at school, for the most part, but spent every spare second he had sleeping. If there was so much as a lull in class, his head would droop and he'd be out. The entire lunch break, while Lucy and the rest of the boys chatted, he would put his head down, pink hair squashed onto the table, and begin to snore. He looked awful—bags under his eyes, skin pale and gray, hair a mess—and clearly, due to the amount he was sleeping, he wasn't feeling so great either.
After school, he'd leave. He didn't accompany Lucy on her walk home anymore. He'd wave at her in the halls as he jogged out of the school, dashing down the street in the opposite direction of his house, running out of sight. It seemed like he had somewhere important to go, somewhere he desperately needed to be.
And it didn't include Lucy. She tried not to look upset.
Lucy waited up for him one night, waited for him to come home so she could at least speak to him because yeah, okay, maybe she was starting to miss him a little bit. He'd come home fairly late, around midnight, and immediately flopped onto his bed. Lucy had grabbed her can, about to whisper over to him, but he'd already been snoring. She let him sleep, wondering what was making him stay out so late.
Gray picked up on Natsu's absence; he asked to walk Lucy home a couple times. Lucy always said no—politely, of course—coming up with some excuse about making her dad dinner or having a skype date with her girlfriends from the prep school.
She was sort of perplexed by her own behaviour—wasn't she supposed to go with Gray, go on dates with him and let him walk her home? Isn't that what she'd decided on? Wasn't she supposed to follow Levy's advice?
Lucy already knew the answer. Gray just wasn't right, he wasn't what her heart yearned for. And what did her heart yearn for?
The boy she'd been in love with since she was five years old. The boy that grinned at her from his bedroom window. The boy that brought her chocolate when she was on her period and the boy that hugged her tight when she cried and the boy that had absolutely, completely, irreversibly torn her heart into shreds.
But she certainly wasn't going to admit that, not to herself, not yet. She didn't want to. Because the second that she acknowledged her feelings, the moment she realized that those feelings were real and there and existing...he'd break her heart again.
She was just the girl next door, nothing more. She was his little brother. She refused to let herself be torn up anymore than she already had.
So, she tried to forget. Of course, being home alone every day, not having him there to make things fun...well, that just made her yearn for his presence more. Which made her think about him a lot. Which made it really hard to stop thinking about how cute he was, or how adorable his nose was.
Lucy flopped down on her bed, forcing her mind to focus on a different topic that was irking her: the auction.
She'd tried to get out of it. She'd marched herself down to the principals' office, about to head into a big spiel about how this entire charity thing was sort of humiliating and a real downer on human rights, considering this was the 21st century and people shouldn't be sold. She was going to hammer into him, telling him that selling women exclusively was also terrible, that it was a horrible thing for a school to condone. She was going to tell him that selling women to men for a date was perpetuating rape culture, that it was forcing girls to go on a date with whomever purchased them, without consent.
She'd figured it was harsh, but it was enough reason to lead into her excusing herself from the charity auction because she didn't agree with it.
But the second she'd walked in, the principal had lit up, a big grin on his face. He said he'd been wanting to see her so he could thank her for taking part in the charity auction. He said he'd heard the latest rumblings in the school grapevine (ugh, old people slang) and heard that the boys were pretty excited she was going to be participating. The principal continued, saying she was rumored to be the most expensive date, that she'd bring in the biggest amount of cash for the school. And then, he went on to say that the money was going to help the art curriculum, the band class, the basketball team.
And Lucy just gave him a smile, said she was glad to help the school, and ducked out of his office. She'd lost all of the fire in her chest, all of the anger about how weird and sort of awful the entire auction idea was. She was too nice to pull out of the event once he'd said how she personally was practically the highlight of the entire thing.
So, she was stuck. Tomorrow at approximately two o'clock, she would be up for sale. She would be on stage, in front of every single person in the school, letting people bet on her. People would be offering money to go on a date with her.
It was embarrassing and humiliating and yeah, okay, a little flattering that people wanted to even blow money on a single little dinner with her. But she wasn't excited, not really. She didn't want to go on a date with just anyone—there was only one person she sort of had in mind. But that was stupid and she wasn't supposed to think about that anymore, so she shoved the thought to the back of her mind and focused on the auction.
The girls who were up for sale were supposed to bring a gift for the bidder that eventually purchased the date with them. Lucy had chatted a couple of the other girls; they were bringing the latest video game, a nerf gun, stuff like that. Lucy hadn't really known what to bring, so she decided to do something homemade: snacks.
She spent the afternoon baking cookies and muffins and brownies and then wrapping them up and placing them in a little picnic basket, all drawn up with a bow. She hoped it was nice enough to give to someone as a gift, and put it in the kitchen, all ready for tomorrow.
Lucy had originally intended to settle into bed with some icecream and watch a movie—she was a little bummed and rather lonely, and this was sure to make her feel a little better—but she was brutally interrupted as soon as she'd tucked herself into her bed.
"Lucy!" Her father called, a strange tone in his voice. "You've got guests!"
Lucy had frowned. "Is it Natsu?" She tried not to sound excited, but she already knew the answer—of course it wasn't Natsu. He wouldn't knock at the front door—he'd just come right up.
"No. You better come down here."
Lucy sighed, tossing the blankets off of her. She quickly hopped down the stairs, but was surprised to see a group of people down by the front door. Lucy's lips spread into a wide grin and her eyes were bright. "What are you guys doing here?"
Levy, Erza, Juvia and Cana were at the base of her steps, grinning up at her.
"You're dad told us about the auction," Levy said, smiling. "We had to come help you get ready. It's only right."
Lucy rolled her eyes, jumping down the stairs and throwing herself at her friends; they all hugged tightly. Lucy's father looked proud, glad to see Lucy with some female friends.
She'd showed them her house and they'd made their way up to her room; the girls choked back their laughter when they looked at her closet, commenting on how small it was. Of course, these girls were used to much higher standards of living—they permanently attended the rather expensive prep school and had pretty rich parents, which resulted in them having massive walk-in closets. Lucy said she liked her closet, that it fit everything she needed.
Levy shook her head at Lucy, smiling. "You look just like you did when you first came to the prep school—look at those sweatpants."
Lucy had frowned defensively. "They're comfy."
Juvia had poked her in the side, teasing her as she changed the subject. "You've got to show us who this Gray guy is."
Lucy turned, giving Levy a look. "You told them?"
"What, you go on a date and expect me not to tell the girls?" Levy laughed. "We've got to see him, see if he's as cute as you say."
"Whose this?" Cana asked. Her finger was up, pointing to a photo.
She was at the far back wall of Lucy's bedroom; the entire wall behind her computer desk was absolutely covered in old photos. Polaroids, old pictures from her as a kid, picture she'd taken on her old instant camera when she was young. Nothing had been touched since Lucy had left, and although she'd cleaned up her old stuff and gotten rid of a few things, she hadn't dared throw out any pictures. Sure, they were proof of her definitive awkward phase, but she loved the memories too much.
Lucy cocked her head to the side. "That's Natsu."
"Ah—lemme see!" Levy dove to Cana's side, eyes narrowing up at the picture.
The photo was old, warped and altered in color as time had impacted it. It was Lucy and Natsu out at the baseball diamond, bats and gloves in hand; they both had baseball caps on, turned backwards; the two children were looking up at the camera but Lucy's hand was reaching out and squeezing Natsu's cheeks. Natsu was pouting over at her.
"You were a cute kid," Juvia commented.
"Shut up," Lucy snorted. "I know you guys are horrified. I was a real tomboy."
Cana didn't take her eyes off of the photo. "You and this boy seemed close."
"Yeah," Lucy said, leaning back against her bedframe. Without hesitation, her eyes flickered over to her window, searching for him; his room was empty, like usual. No pink hair in sight. "He's my best friend."
"And you love him," Levy added.
Lucy made a face. "Do not!"
The blue haired girl rolled her eyes. "Sure, Lucy."
Lucy's cheeks flushed red and she stood up, desperate to change the topic before she had to admit the truth to herself. "Are you guys gonna help me pick an outfit for the auction or not?" Lucy stepped towards her closet.
And so, they helped. The girls dug through Lucy's closet—baffled by the amount of sweatpants she owned—and made her try on every single decent dress she owned. Half of them were designer—things she'd picked up while attending the prep school—but didn't seem to quite fit the part of girl being sold for charity.
Levy insisted they go shopping; the girls agreed. They wanted Lucy to look spectacular so she'd rake in a lot of money for the school. Lucy sighed, allowing them to drag her out of the house, although she refused to change out of her sweatpants for the shopping session.
The girls walked to main street, where all of the little boutique shops were—about a ten minute walk from Lucy's house—and went into a cute little dress shop. They made Lucy try on dress after dress, in a range of styles; Levy wanted her to wear something sexy, while Juvia wanted Lucy to wear something cute and sweet.
Lucy wasn't really interested in what she wore—she was far too anxious for the entire thing to be over with to give a single shit about her outfit—and let the girls argue and debate over the dress without giving any input. Honestly, the entire shopping experience was exhausting, and Lucy wished they'd picked a dress faster.
Finally, they settled on a dress—a cute little floral number that was somehow both sexy and sweet at the same time—and the girls left the store, hungry. Lucy, who was absolutely starving, mentioned that there was a little Italian restaurant up the street; the girls excitedly made their way there.
They'd just sat down and ordered their food when everything fell apart.
The girls had been chatting about the auction, how they were going to come and watch Lucy blow everyone's mind with her beauty, and then they'd also attend the dance later that night. The theme was A Night In The Clouds and the gym was decorated to look like they were up in the sky, with stars on the roof and large white puffs around them to look like clouds; the girls chattered about what they would wear, hoping someone would ask them to dance.
The bell on the door rang as someone entered the restaurant, and Lucy's eyes snapped up, out of habit; what she saw made her heart stop in her chest, made her throat tighten, made her stomach fill with heaviness.
Natsu, Lisanna, and Lisanna's parents. They walked in and were seated by a waitress; they were all chatting, all smiles, all laughter. Natsu looked happy; Lisanna looked happier.
And Lucy's heart stopped.
She'd been here before. This had happened already. This wasn't supposed to happen again.
Wasn't this just like last time? Different setting, sure, but the exact same? Natsu and Lucy are close. Best friends. Spend every second together. Then, suddenly, Natsu bails. He didn't go to the dance with Lucy before, and now he'd failed to see her every night for a week when they were usually inseperable. And then...Natsu is with Lisanna.
Sure, it wasn't as dramatic here in an Italian restaurant, but it stung just as badly as seeing him at the dance with her.
He'd ignored her all week and had been out with Lisanna and now he was out to dinner with Lisanna and her fucking parents, and they were chatting and comfortable with each other and got along so well and just seeing it made Lucy feel sick.
She was absolutely raging with jealousy. Because she wanted him. She wanted to be going out to dinner with Natsu and she wanted to be the one who got to eat dinner with him and she wanted to be the one who he spent his evenings with. She wanted to be the one who ate dinner with the parents.
But clearly, he'd been out with Lisanna all week. And now he was having supper with her parents. And they all looked so happy.
And Lucy was heartbroken. Maybe not so bad as last time—after all, she'd been protecting herself from this by not truly recognizing her feelings, but it hurt so bad seeing him with her and them that it was now painfully clear how much she felt for the boy—but it was still pretty fucking bad. Tears stung at her eyes and she dropped her eyes to her napkin and hoped no one would notice.
And they didn't. The girls were too busy chatting about the dance and their excitement to notice. Lucy was thankful that they were so invested in the topic—she didn't want anyone to know how much excruciating pain she was in right now.
Natsu and Lisanna and her parents chatted away, not seeing Lucy and the girls across the room. Lucy didn't look over at them. She didn't think she could handle the sight.
Their food came, and Lucy wasn't hungry anymore. She poked at her ravioli, and then pushed it aside. The girls asked if she was okay, and she said she wasn't feeling well—just nervous for the auction. They believed her, comforted her.
She tried not to burst into tears.
The girls stood up after they paid for their food, and Lucy's heart ached with disappointment.
Why had she thought anything different would happen? Why had she expected otherwise? She should've known—she was just the little brother. She should've known he'd date other girls, that he'd meet other girls' parents and have dinner with them like a little family. Why had she gotten her hopes up about something so...hopeless?
They headed for the door, and she had to walk right by their table in order to do so. She closed her eyes and prayed he never saw her, prayed he didn't see the look in her eyes.
But he saw her.
"Luce?"
Lucy's heart stopped for a second and she glanced back as she strode by, giving a little wave and then practically jogging out of the restaurant. He'd looked confused and his eyes had been so intense on hers, and she wanted to cry.
She walked home with the girls, hands balled up into fists, cursing herself for ever allowing herself to feel such things for that boy twice.