*Inside the tour*
Muggle: Alright, do we have any Birthday's?
Harry: OH MY GOD IT'S TOTALLY MY BIRTHDAY! :D
Ron: But Harry it's April —
Harry: *Smacks hand over Ron's mouth then run's to the front*
Muggle: Okay! You get to open the Great Hall doors! Just give them a gentle pu —
Harry: *Slams door open and runs inside* I'M HERE FOR THE FOOD! *Grabs box of cereal* OH MY GOD IT'S EMPTY!
Hermione: Harry! They're just props!
Harry: *Drops cereal box* W-W-WHAT?!
Ron: SHE SAID THEY'RE JUST PROPS!
Harry: *Screams to high heaven* I WANT MY MONEY BACK! TAKE ME HOME! I DON'T LIKE THIS PLACE! STUPID MUGGLES RUIN EVERYTHING! DRACYKINS! I NEED A CUDDLE!
Draco: I'M COMING, HARRY! *Hugs him*
Narcissa: DRACO! NO! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT MIXING WITH PEASANTS!
Lucius: Hey, Snape, have I ever told you how great your hair looks?
Snape: Your stupidness disappoints me, even I know it's terrible.
Narcissa: LUCIUS! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT MIXING WITH STRANGE MIDDLE AGED VIRGINS!
Voldemort: *Looks in mirror of Erised* I JUST SEE MYSELF WITHOUT A NOSE! IF THIS WAS THE REAL MIRROR I'D HAVE A NOSE! THIS IS MADNESS!
Sirius: *Drinks Butterbeer* THIS IS DIGUSTING! IT TASTES NOTHING LIKE REAL BUTTERBEER *Chucks it over Snape*
Snape: OH FOR GOODNESS SAKE! *Walks over to Potions class set and takes off robes*
Harry: EVERYONE! LOOK! SNAPE'S STRIPPING!
Snape: *Puts on robes from the set* WELL AT LEAST FANGIRLS ACTUALLY LOOK AT ME UNLINE YOU!
Harry: THAT WAS TOO FAR, SNAPEY, TOO FAR
Voldemort: ENOUGH! SNAPE JUST GO AND MAKE SOME POTIONS ON SET AND HARRY JUST STARE AT THE MODEL OF YOURSELF!
Snape: *Makes Potions solemnly while muggles watch*
Hermione: Harry, can you take a picture of me with this owl?
Harry: I will, BUT FIRST — *Stands next to model of himself and takes out iPhone* LET ME TAKE A SELFIE!
Voldemort: NO *Slaps his iPhone out of his hand with a fish* NO YOU MAY NOT TAKE A SELFIE YOU ARE NOT A WHITE GIRL
Harry: BUT I HAVE INSTAGRAM!
Voldemort: YOU DID HAVE INSTAGRAM *Throws his IPhone in Snape's potion*
Snape/Harry: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
*Fred and George stand in the burrow set*
Fred: Well this isn't our home at all!
George: There's not enough of mum's jumpers!
Molly: *Fires spell at muggle* THAT'S NOT MY HOME, YOU BITCH!
Muggle: These are some hardcore fans...