Chapter 10 / One Song
Changsub's POV
Tuesday. I officially signed a contract with Bana Entertainment as their trainee, but Jinyoung told me I am set off as a soloist. I'm actually glad about that, so I texted Chorong to tell her the news.
⬅ contract signed. im officially a trainee again.
⬅ your mr. wrong told me that i might debut as a soloist, isnt he so great
➡ yay! this calls for a milkshake.
➡ MR. WRONG??? HAHAHAHA Very funny, Lee Changsub.
➡ you are fit to be a soloist :)
I smiled like that emoji she sent and then I headed to my music shop. Eunkwang was looking out for it. If you're wondering what Eunkwang does, he's a freelance actorㅡfor musicals. And yes, he sings amazingly.
We both met in college, majored music.
When I came in, he was singing his lungs out over the keyboard.
I Miss You by Kim Bum Soo
And it reminded me of Naeun. I haven't thought of her in days and it's relieving yet strange. Maybe it's good to be busy in the first place.
Also, Park ChorongㅡI don't know how, but she totally makes me forget about Naeun.
"To whom do you sing this song?" I asked him.
He stopped playing and opened his eyes, then he grinned the Eunkwang-grin. "To you." He said and bats his eyes.
"Jesusㅡstop it!"
He laughed so hard, feet kicking in the air. "What's that song Sungjae always listens to? Ah," He started singing, "I'm so into you, I could barely breathe~"
"Godㅡstop it!"
He laughed again. "You've called Jesus and God. I didn't know you're very religious."
I shook my head and placed my backpack on the chair next to where I sat. "I'm starving."
"How did it go?"
I grinned at him. "I'm a trainee again."
"Dude!" He exclaimed, suddenly getting up to hug me. "I am so glad for you." He said.
I groaned. "Won't you let go?"
He chuckled and pulled himself away. "Let's grab some lunch."
"I can't leave the shop."
He frowned. "Fine. I'll grab us some lunch."
When he left, I pulled out my notebook and my guitar and then I started writing lyrics. I'm gonna consult Chorong about it later.
I thought about my days in the army. Mom. Naeun. The words flew out to the ink of my pen, to the paper.
I’m walking through the dawn
As if I could blow away
the rest of today
The sky is endless and dark
with the night air
When I look up,
I feel like I could touch it
I endured this day with sighs
As I match my foolish steps with the flowing stars...
When Eunkwang came back with a bunch of plastic bags, I left it at three dots and closed the notebook.
"What did you get?" I asked.
He eyed me well. "What were you writing?"
"A song."
His face lit up. "Show me!"
"Not yet."
The light died down. He pouted. "Fine."
"How old are you again?"
"Twenty seven. Hey, are you judging me? You were worse than me before you went to army!"
I chuckled. "Those were the days."
#
Chorong's POV
Wednesday. At Acube Music. I gave them one of the songs I wrote for this girl group that I liked. We signed contracts and then we talked about the date of the recording. I want to be there when they do it.
When I came out of the building, I felt like flying. I couldn't get rid of the smile on my face. That would be my second song to be out.
I took a taxi to the hospital to visit mom and then I told her everything.
"Please, wake up soon. Witness how your daughter succeeds." I told her before giving her a kiss on the forehead.
#
Because I've been so busy, I haven't seen Changsub in days. We texted a lot about meeting at Moonlight café but it didn't happen until now.
I spotted him immediately. He's sipping on his iced americano. He's wearing a black hoodie and jeans. He is so Changsub, I thought.
I waved at him and he smiled at me. It's like a habit now, except this time, my heart beats a little faster. I ignored it.
"If I remember well, you told me you hated coffee and music. I have come to a conclusion that you are a terrible, terrible liar." I told him.
He grinned. "Well, at least, I don't hide it."
I frowned. "You can't have milkshake then!"
But he didn't seem to notice what I said. He was eyeing me intently that I suddenly felt so self-conscious. "What?" I asked.
"Did you go to Bana Entertainment?" He asked quietly.
I sat in front of him. "What makes you think that?"
"You're dressed up."
I looked down at myself. I was wearing a faded blue jumper dress with white shirt inside. "Just because I am wearing a dress?"
"Well, I've come to a conclusion that you wear dresses when you go there."
I laughed because I can't believe he thinks about this. I tried not to imagine him curled up in bed, or sitting somewhere thinking about this because it gives me strange, strange feelings. "Guess what," I said, smiling at him.
He was still frowning. "You and Mr. Wrong got back together?"
I rolled my eyes. "Stop it, OK? There's no me and Mr. Wrong anymore. He's out."
"Out?"
"Out."
"Why?"
"Because he's practically engaged."
"I'm sorry."
But I could tell he wasn't. At least, not this time. "I didn't go there. I was at a contract signing." I finally told him.
Finally, his eyes lit up. I like to watch the way the look in his eyes change from stormy to a sunny day. "What? Really? What contract?" He asked.
I smiled again and danced a little. "My second song is going to be out soon!"
His lips curved up. "This calls for a ride."
I laughed. "Hey, let's be realistic. We both don't have a ride."
"Apparently, I do." He said. "Shall we?" He extended his hand to me and I felt a panic of hesitation rushed inside me. Why is he doing this?
I took his hand and it was almost funny because he's acting like an escort so I laughed. "What the heck, Changsub."
He smiled. "Although my ride is borrowed, it's still mine for today."
"Sungjae's car?"
"Mine for today." He repeated.
I chuckled. "Alright."
We're almost at the car when we saw Naeun and her husband, Ilhoon, if I remember right. Changsub and I were smiling and he was still holding my hand. I realized we really looked like an actual couple. Naeun and her husband were definitely tangled together and smiling. Our smiles disappeared all at once.
"Oh! Aren't they your friends?" asked Ilhoon.
Naeun smiled awkwardly. "I guess it's a small world huh?" She said.
I smiled back and laced my fingers with Changsub's. "Yeah! How are you guys doing?" I asked.
"We just got back from Japan." Ilhoon replied with a smile. I wondered if he knows that his wife had a boyfriend when he was just starting to date her.
"Congratulations on your marriage again." Changsub said, surprising me. He's so calm and all smiles as if it was real so I stared at him.
Naeun looked down. "Thanks, oppa."
"Maybe we can have dinner some time at our new house, guys! Is that alright?" Ilhoon asked. He actually seems like a friendly, chill person.
Changsub smiled again. "If we're not busy, no problem."
"Yeah," I chimed in. "Changsub and I are working on our own careers at the moment so we're sort of busy." At least, that is one truth.
"But not too busy to spend time together." Naeun said and for some reason, I sensed resentment in her voice. I wondered if Changsub noticed. But seriously? She has no right. She can find her right at the bottom of my foot. Alright, maybe that's too harsh but she just really gets in my nerves.
"Of course," I said. I was unstoppable. "Even if we can't spend time together, we're willing to wait."
Changsub squeezed my hand at this. I turned to him and smiled way too sweetly. "Right, Changsubie?"
He looked at me for so long before he finally said, "Yeah, that's right."
Naeun swallowed nervously. "We should go. We're probably bothering you guys."
Ilhoon smiled a little differently this time. Could he tell something was up? "See you guys around." He said before they left.
My cheeks are burning. What did I do?
"I'm sorry." I immediately told Changsub. He wasn't letting go of my hand. He opened the car door for me and then finally, he let go smoothly. It made me worry even more. He's supposed to say something.
"I was out of line." I told him once he got in. He started the car and glanced at me sideways, then the corner of his lips turned up. "You were awesome." He said.
I couldn't believe it.
#
Changsub drove around the town with no specific direction. We turned on the radio and then it was as if we've forgotten the whole thing that's happened at Moonlight's. We sang along to the radio (to Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars and to Shape of You by Ed Sheeran), celebrating for my achievement.
By six o'clock, we stopped by a deserted road with clear view of the river and the bridge. The sun was setting again but instead of getting off the car, Changsub put the roof down of Sungjae's convertible and we stayed inside. Quite inside.
"That friend of yours can afford this?" I asked in awe.
"He's from a really, really loaded family."
"Damn."
"Now you wish you were born with a golden spoon in your mouth."
I grimaced. "Kinda painful imagining it."
He chuckled and lowered the volume of the radio.
We were silent for a while. Changsub's eyes were fixed on the sunset as if he's seeing it for the first time.
"Do you wanna hear the song before it comes out?" I asked him.
He turned to me. "You have a guide?"
I grinned. "It's still my song."
He smiled. I like it when he smiles. It feels very comforting. "Am I about to get to hear you sing?"
I chuckled as I busied my hand on my phone. "Warning, I can't sing as amazingly as you do."
"Oh come on."
"I'm serious."
I played the song. He listened carefully, eyes on the sunset. I've never felt so voice-conscious.
From the beautiful fairy tales of my childhood,
The love that I learned for the first time was all about the fluttering feelings
I thought that kind of love would come to me too
He frowned a little. "Is it weird that I already know who's this song about?"
I hushed him with a smile. "Listen. My voice isn't very loud."
He smiled at this. He kept listening.
Need you,
I really didn’t know back then
Need you, I thought we’d last forever
I didn’t know how precious you were and only complained every day
Now I finally know that the pain is greater than that love
Our story has ended like that, becoming a sad memory, my love
Now I finally know
that you’re so precious
I finally realized that you’re the love that I learned with my heart
Now I can’t turn things back, it’s too late, you’re not by my side
But our beautiful story is still in my heart, my love
#
Changsub's POV
The song ended. I sighed.
"It wasn't good?" she asked beside me.
I kept my eyes on the sunset. I could feel her watching me, probably watching the way my hair dances with the wind. "Of course, it is." I said.
From the corner of my eye, I saw her smile.
"You're not over him?" I asked.
She looked away, to the sunset. It's strange because I realized that watching the sunset feels peaceful again. "I actually completed that song just a few days ago."
"Wow," I said. "And it takes me forever to write."
"Do you know why I love writing?" she asked me.
"Because it's the best art in the world after music." I replied with a sheepish grin.
She shook her head. "Maybe," she said. "But I get this feeling. The healing. When I wrote that song? I knew I was finally letting him go. I was writing everything I felt for him on a paper with honesty, and when I finished it, it felt like I was sealing all of that away."
This time I looked at her and she's the one not looking back at me. I suddenly wish I could take a picture of her at that moment. The sunset reflecting on herㅡif she doesn't move, she would be like a beautiful, beautiful photograph.
She went on. "I know I won't forget about his laugh, or the way he talks, or the things we used to doㅡbut they will fade, you know? They fade. They become blurry memories. And I think I'm okay with that. I'm okay with the fact that he was a big part of my life, and now he isn't anymore."
I smiled to myself and took in the evening view. The sun is almost really down by now. "I think I'm okay too."
"Thank you."
"What? For what?"
"For doing music again." she said softly. She's hugging her own knees now.
"Well, if that's the case, I should be the one thanking you."
She shook her head. "If you didn't make it happen, it wouldn't have happened. Also, just work with me for one song. Just one song. I swear I won't nag you like a mom again."
I snorted. "Just one song?"
"I promiseㅡunless you would want to work with me after that."
"Maybe."
Maybe I want to make more than just one song with her. Maybe I've come to like her nagging. Maybe I don't want her to push me out of her life after this. Maybe we could stay friends. Yeah, friends.
I looked at her and we smiled at each other.
Maybe I want to keep her. I do.
#
A/N: MAYBE I WANT THIS FANFIC TO BE REAL ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ
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