Hope you enjoy reading. Please consider voting if you enjoyed the chapter. :)
--
*Confusion*
Ara's Point of View
"Are you okay?" sabi nito while holding on to my waist to prevent me from falling. I was mesmerized by his looks that it took me long enough to answer.
"Aaah. O..okay lang a..ako." I said and remove his hands away from my waist.
Just when I was about to take a step, naramdaman kung matutumba ulit ako. But before that could even happen, he immediately got me in my waist once more. Ugh.
"Okay ka lang ba talaga?" he asked in a tone of hesitation and looked at me intently as if scrutinizing every part of my face, "Mukha kasing hindi eh."
"Ano ka ba! Wag kang mag-aalala. Masakit lang yung ulo ko." sabi ko dito at sinubukang tanggalin ang mga hawak niya sa beywang ko but to no avail, he didn't let me.
He heaved out a sigh of exasperation. "Halika na nga, aalalayan na kita papunta sa sofa." he said and we started walking.
His right hand was basically on my back while his left was holding on to my waist, providing support. I know that I should not put any meaning on his actions. You know, because a friend's got to do what a friend's got to do because if not, what are friends are for, diba?
I know that he's just helping me dahil at bilang isang kaibigan pero lecheng puso naman kasi to oh! Ayaw maki-ayon! Binibigyan ng malisya.
Yung totoo, Ara? Do you still love him? Or have you truly moved on?
Well, if I were to based it on my actions and with how my heart reacts right now, it's probably no. Hindi pa ako naka-move on.
How about Myco, Ara? If you love Myco and you say that you haven't moved on yet, how would you explain such phenomena?
That question? Well, one thing's for sure, hindi ko alam kung paano ko 'yan ipapaliwanag. I've been repeating it all over again but just couldn't find the answer. Ugh.
Sa dami ng iniisip ko, I didn't notice na wala na pala si Thomas sa harapan ko.
I felt relieved somehow.
"Hay. Nakakalito! Ugh!" I grunted habang pinupukpuk ko yung ulo ko. This two guys are making me crazy.
"Anong nakakalito?" tanong ni Thomas habang papunta sa akin na may hawak hawak na mangkok.
"Ah.. w-wala.. S-sabi ko nakakalito kasi m..asakit yung u-lo ko." I said while stuttering. He sat beside me at nilapag niya yung bowl sa may lamesa.
"Here. Eat this. It will make you feel better." he said while smiling as he handed a spoon and fork.
Tinignan ko yung niluto niyang sopas at mukhang masarap naman.
"Thanks." sabi ko na lang at kinuha ko yung mangkok at sinimulang lantakan.
In all fairness huh, lasang sopas naman siya. He's really a good cook. I love how the veggies were sliced and how tender the chicken is.
I saw him looking at me.
"Uhm, what are you staring at? Tsaka ano bang ngini-ngiti ngiti mo diyan?" I asked him.
"Haha. Wala ka talagang pinagbago. Matakaw pa rin. Haha." he said while smiling.
"U-uy! H-hindi kaya." I said in defense. Tumawa na lang siya. The fudge. Talaga bang matakaw pa rin ako?
"Wag ka na kasing magmadali. Dadalhin pa kita kung gusto mo be--" he stopped," I mean, Ara." he said, then give an awkward and fake laugh afterwards.
"Sige, kukuhan na lang ulit kita." he said quickly after recovering from his earlier mistake of choice of words.
Ugh. Lalo lang akong nalilito sa Tunay na feelings ko. Hay! Dafudge. Why o why, Carmela?
* * *
Apparently, I woke up because I felt a hand tapping my cheeks. I opened and grimaced as I felt a sudden dizziness, flashing inside my brain. Pinilit ko na lang na bumangon for goodness sake.
I saw Thomas holding a bowl of soup. "Hey, I..I just thought that maybe you should eat some more." he said as he took a seat near the couch.
I looked at the window and saw darkness.
"I can't believe I slept that much." I said as I realized it, "By the way, anong oras na?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Haha. Yeah, you did sleep for a long time. It's 8:30." he said as a matter-of-fact.
I tried to reach out for the soup that he cooked but whenever I try to do it I can't help but wince in pain. Lecheng sakit nang ulo to oh! Never in my life did I felt so helpless. Well, I mean there were people who were always there to support me. Myco's one of them and obviously, he's not here.
"Ako na." he said and grabbed the bowl. I was about to protest when he stopped me.
"Look Ara, hindi mo pa kaya. Let me handle it." he said. Oo nga, ba't mo pa siya pipigilan? Rejecting an offer is an insult, pangungunsiyami ng konsensiya ko.
But still, I couldn't help but feel guilt hunting me down. Somehow, I feel that I'm cheating on Myco but at the same time I feel like I shouldn't feel guilty because he's trying to help and that he's my friend. Ugh. If only I would stop putting something into this. He's just being a friend!
He scooped a spoonful and directed it in my mouth. He looked so handsome and one thing I can say is, I still love him and I hate it.
* * * *
Why must I feel this way? I thought I had truly moved on but he's still having this effect on me. The effects I felt when I first saw him. This erratic beating of my heart and the endless fluttering of butterflies in my stomach.
This feeling that I would only feel with him. Ni hindi ko 'to naramdaman kay Myco eh.
I muster up all of my courage to ask him a question.
"Did Mika and the rest called you? Asan na daw sila?" I asked him, looking at him. It'd be rude if I don't.
"I never received a call eh. Sorry." he muttered.
And with that, the conversation ended. Just like that. But what happenned to Mika and the others? Mag-aalas onse na nang gabi ah. It just worries me given the fact na hindi man lang sila nagte-text.
Due to my head ache, I quickly drifted to dreamland.
* * *
I woke up in the morning feeling a little bit light headed. Thank God! Buti naman medyo nabawasan yung sakit ng ulo ko. For goodness sake, I didn't go and agree for a vacation just lie in bed and not to have fun. Sheesh.
Ang hindi ko lang alam eh bakit wala pa sila? It's already day two of our supposed-to-be-Tagaytay vacation but instead we were forced to stay in a hot place like Batangas. It's not like it's a bad thing you know pero mas bet ko talaga sa malamig na lugar.
"Asan na daw ba sila?" I asked him as I was trying to contact Mika while he was cooking for breakfast.
"Di ko alam. I can't contact them eh." he said as he was doing the final preparations for a table for two.
"Let's eat." he invited after preparing the table.
Looking at the table, he isn't a fan of international cuisine. He pretty much supports or watchamacallit, a fan of local cuisine just like me. Wala akong nakikitang kahit anong international diyan sa iprinepare niya.
I was about to take a spoonful when he stopped me.
"Dasal muna tayo." he said while smiling.
"Okay." I felt embarrased but accepted it anyways.
* * * *
Grabe.. Busog na busog ako after that breakfast! Whew! Sobrang sarap kasi eh. It's like one of those meals that would make you get a second serving.
I always knew he was a good chef.
Like duh? Malamang naging kayo.
If I were to compare him and Myco, though, I would say that both are good. Hands down to each one of them. I guess that's how they just do things. That's how they got me ... through my stomache.
The way through a woman's heart is through her stomache kumabaga.
"So how's life?" he asked all of a sudden.
I was surprised but eventually responded to his question. "O..okay naman." I said while stuttering.
Nakakagulat naman kasi. Ang tahi tahimik and then suddenly biglang magsasalita.
"I mean the other one. Lovelife."
I had to looked at him because I was getting nervous. Nervous on where will this conversation go. "O..okay naman kami ni.."
I looked away and said, "M..myco."
"How can you say that you're okay?" he said quickly as he heard my answer. I noted the challenging tone in his voice too. The way he said it, parang nanghahamon.
"Well, he fought for hard for his love for me." I said, paused for a moment, and continued, "It happenned when I was greatly d-depressed with our b-break up. I pushed him away but he just keep on, pursuing me."
I didn't knew what has gotten to me. I just felt the urge of saying this. "He presented himself as a rebound. He presented himself as the person who would help me move on and we would end up together which we gladly did."
"I guess that's what separates you from him. He fought for our love and you didn't." I concluded. I tried holding back my tears at buti naman, the odds were on my favor.
But what the hell would I be crying for? Nakita ko rin siyang umiiyak. Which was really unexpected.
I saw him stood up and went near me. "I'm sorry, Ara. I r..really am." I didn't mind him. I just sat there trying to hold back the tears. Hindi ko kasi maintindihan eh. Bakit siya nagso-sorry?
Hindi ko namalayan na yinayakap na pala niya ako. Which made things even more complicated.
"Ara. Mahal pa rin kita."
"T..thomas. P-please le--" before I could even say my words, hinalikan na niya ako shutting me up. I didn't let him enter my mouth but he eventually got in.
It's not like he really had a hard time doing it. I gave in to my desire.
The kiss began as a tender one and then the press of my body against his reminded me of how much fragile I am despite my strength. He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed me deeply.
I could feel how much he cares for me. It was a tinge of every emotion, if that's even possible. I could sense the love, anger, and especially the sense of urgency in his kisses.
Nalulunod na ako sa halik niya.
No, this can't happen.
Nararamdaman ko na ring humihina ang aking katawan sa ginagawa niya. It was like he's trying to suck the life away from me.
I took the guts to muster all my strength to push him away from me. The first try wasn't a success but second times the charm, he came to a screeching halt.
My palm automatically slammed his face hard, leaving a mark of scarlet.
"What the h-heck, T-thomas. Gago ka ba? May boyfriend na ako!" I scolded at tuluyan na akong umakyat sa kuwarto ko.
Once I reached the room, all the tears I held back flowed like a stream. Tuluyan na akong napaiyak. Not because I liked to.
But due to the fact that I mistook friendship for romance. At dahil sa katotohanang mahal ko pa siya.