Chapter One Hundred and Ten: Accident
When Xaphile woke up the next morning, it was because his whole body felt kind of strange.
Hot flashes were throbbing through his stomach and upper chest with a sensation that pulled and ebbed in a fashion similar to an ocean crashing against a shore. Each wave of heat sent tingles through his limbs, and for some reason, he was abnormally aware of his own skin.
Sitting up like a zombie, he stared at the wall with glazed, half-lidded eyes for several minutes, feeling fuzzy and muted. Then he glanced at his sleeping friends, realizing that it was probably still extremely early. He stretched, then paused when he realized that Gus and Amelia were gone.
He let out a malcontent sound deep in his throat and rubbed his eyes.
He felt unusually restless for some strange reason.
Going back to sleep would be impossible.
His tail flicked across the furs and bumped against Ella's side when he stood up, softly brushing against her leg and making her stir. He didn't glance at her when she rolled over, muddled as his head was. Letting loose the braid keeping his hair neat, he made his way outside.
A warm breeze wafted across his skin. Tilting his head back, his eyes snapped shut and he flexed his back muscles to spread his wings. He aired them out, shivering violently since his skin felt bizarrely sensitive... even the the softest of breezes made him tremble slightly.
"Ugh," he grumbled, shaking himself with a shudder. "I feel too high strung today. The stress of everything must be getting to me."
Rubbing his eyes again, he contemplated what to do since the others obviously weren't awake yet, and he was more in the mood to busy himself with something relaxed like reading a book than exercising. He thought for a moment, then decided to play the harp Amelia had given him a long while back since he hadn't been playing it at all lately.
Heading back inside, he quietly dug around in his bag and snagged the instrument before making his way back out and quietly closing the door. He settled down in the grove of trees, leaning against the biggest one on the island.
His fingers began to thrum across the strings of the harp, playing a rich, aimless melody.
The music vibrated in his ears and somehow calmed the odd restlessness that had come over him, although it did nothing for the strange waves of heat cresting through his chest and lower belly.
He kept his eyes fixed on the leaves of the trees and the distant horizon as he played.
It was only when he felt something soft and warm brush against his side that his fingers froze.
His eyes widened when a smell, so sweet and fragrant that it made his toes curl, entered his nose and he breathed deeply, taking it in as the feeling in his body intensified threefold. He turned his head to see Ella sitting beside him. She was staring off at everything with a sleepy expression and her hair was still a little messy, but she seemed content enough.
"Good morning," she mumbled, yawning. "What are you doing up so early?"
"Good morning to you, too," he murmured, plucking the strings of the harp once again. "Sorry if I woke you up. I couldn't fall back asleep, and since I'm sure Vordt will be coming to get me for my next lesson sometime soon, I figured I might as well wake myself up so I'm ready for it."
Ella's eyes remained fixed on his own, gleaming with an unidentifiable emotion as she leaned towards him and gently slid her thin fingers into his long hair, combing it out and allowing it to slide across her hands like dark water.
He eyed the contrast between his tresses and her skin, the purest white against the darkest of blacks.
"You know?" Ella murmured. "Sometimes I think that you're too good to be true."
Xaphile did a double take and stared at her blankly.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that you're a very charming person, despite how negative you can be," she shot back, paying no mind to the rigidity of his shoulders. "Even though it was under terrible circumstances, I'm glad that I met you, Xaphile. I'm glad that you're here."
He digested that silently, suddenly becoming aware of how close she was.
Setting his harp down, he leaned back against the tree and turned his head away from her since the restlessness he'd thus been experiencing came back to him even harder than before. Itching to do something with his hands, he ran his claws through his hair even though it was already neat.
He simply couldn't help it.
"Thank you," he eventually muttered. "Your words... they're appreciated."
He surprised himself more than anyone when he said it, mostly because he meant it.
"I think you should suggest spending quality time with your uncle today," Ella suddenly said, making his fingers halt. "Instead of training, you should enjoy each other's company."
Xaphile shook his head, knowing that the idea would be rejected without a second thought.
Vordt was so focused on training him, so intent on making sure he knew everything he'd forgotten upon waking up, that he probably wouldn't want to sit around and just enjoy spending time with each other. Plus, technically, being trained by him did count as quality time.
Sort of.
He also felt like if he chose to get greedy, things would go back to being unpleasant.
"I'm happy to be where we're at," he eventually told her. "Things are finally starting to look up... I don't want to get too hasty, particularly since I don't think he'll ever really love me."
"What? Why?"
"I'm not his kid, Ella," he murmured, then hesitantly added, "and I think, to him, looking at me makes him feel the same way felt after I first met you a few months ago. For the longest time, even seeing you and knowing you weren't her... that you weren't mine... it was painful."
Ella's face softened slightly.
"You don't feel that way anymore," she tentatively murmured, "do you?"
He thought about it, then said softly, "no. I don't. Things have changed."
Her eyes danced for a moment, but she covered it up with a stoic expression and glanced down at his chest, eyes slowly roving across his bare skin.
"Do you wish to spar for a little while?" she quipped. "I wish to learn more about how to defend myself without a weapon."
Xaphile sighed, then gave her a look and rose to his feet.
"Sure. Until Vordt gets here, I guess we could do that."
Helping her up, they headed to the clearing to practice Aikido, and he spent the better part of the hour teaching her how to deflect incoming blows and to perform the shoulder toss, all of which she was steadily getting better at. It killed plenty of time, but when the sun was well above the horizon, he finally stopped and looked at the sky.
Vordt still hadn't shown up.
"Why isn't he here yet?" he wondered. "He should have arrived, like, thirty minutes ago."
"I don't know. I guess he's busy," Ella sniffed, looking rather proud of herself. "I'm making progress thanks to your teachings, so for that, I thank you."
"Ella!" Amelia suddenly called from the direction of the lodge. "Breakfast is ready!"
"Coming!" she shouted back, then smirked at him. "Let's go eat."
"Yeah," he agreed, scratching his ear and peering at the sky in confusion. "Let's go."
When they made their way back in, Sinmir greeted Xaphile with a grin.
"Morning, Lad!" he happily boomed. "I thought you'd left already!"
"Yeah, Phil, aren't you usually training by now?" Vrael asked, looking just as surprised. "I thought you'd left, too."
"Vordt hasn't shown up yet," he admitted. "I decided to eat breakfast with you guys while I wait."
"Oh, okay. Well, has anyone seen Gus?"
"He went out early this morning to repair some of his arrows and practice his archery," Amelia sighed, not looking up from the plates of food she was dishing out. "I went to watch him for a little while. It was quite the display."
"Speaking of practice," Sinmir drawled, wiggling his eyebrows, "Phil, would you be up for some more sword practice before you head out?"
"I'd rather not, but let's do it," Xaphile droned, not looking up from his food. "Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it, right?"
"Indeed!"
He didn't look at the smirk Ella was throwing his way.
🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗
Breakfast passed in a blur after that.
Ella ate mechanically, barely tasting her food, and when Sinmir got up to start training with Xaphile she followed the two of them outside to watch.
Vrael and Amelia stayed indoors.
Settling down on the ground, she pulled her hood up and watched in the shade of the trees as Sinmir started teaching Xaphile how to use a sword.
She was just beginning to relax and enjoy the show when Gus unexpectedly dropped out of nowhere and landed directly beside her with a grunt, scaring her half to death.
"Mornin', my Lady."
Looking up at him in shock, she set a hand against her thudding heart.
"Must you scare the life out of me?" she quipped, letting loose a sigh. "Did you climb that tree?"
"Indeed I did," Gus muttered, waving a fistful of striped grey feathers. "There was an eagle's nest up there, and I needed some of the stray feathers from it to make new arrows."
When she nodded, he settled down beside her and picked up a few thin wooden branches from the ground. He inspected each one carefully, then pulled his carving knife out of his boot and started shaving peels of wood from the stick.
Ella watched him for a time, then returned her gaze to Xaphile since the pleasant clang of steel on steel and Sinmir's cheerful encouragement rang in her ears.
"So..." Gus muttered, not looking up, "Phil is training with Sinmir again?"
Ella ran a hand across her knee, sparing him only a glance.
"Yes. The two of them seem to get along exceedingly well. Plus, I think that out of everyone here, he and Vrael have the likeliest chances of opening the doors to his heart."
Gus flicked the wood chips from his carving blade, examining it carefully.
"And you don't think you stand a chance? You're in love with him, aren't you?"
Ella's face softened.
"I am," she agreed, smiling faintly at Xaphile's awkward movements. "I am in love with a fae from the Nimikan Forest. It's a beautiful sort of curse, isn't it?"
Gus paused and turned to look at her, leaning forward to peer into her hood, but what he saw must have surprised him, since his face went slack.
Ella's gaze, however, remained fixed on the two men sparring a good distance away.
Xaphile was a pretty big guy, by all rights, but the top of his horned head barely reached Sinmir's shoulders. She watched as they fought, watched the shaky way Xaphile jabbed, as if he were afraid to strike out at Sinmir with a real sword.
She immediately felt a stab of worry since his hesitation was of the dangerous sort, and she carefully followed his jerky movements with a frown.
"He's quite terrible at swordplay," Gus ventured after following her watchful gaze. "It's rather disgraceful."
She instantly turned her eyes on him with a sour expression.
"What part of him not knowing how to fight with a weapon is disgraceful? If you haven't forgotten, not every man has reason to hold a blade."
"True, but if you consider how well he can fight without one, it changes things."
"The way he fights wasn't actually designed to kill anybody."
"Oh? Then what was it designed for?"
"To incapacitate and disarm an opponent without harming them."
Gus stared at her with raised eyebrows.
"Sounds like folly if you ask me."
Ella bristled and was about to snap at him when a flash of pain smashed into her arm and her neck. At the same moment that she choked on her own spit, Sinmir's gasp filled the air.
"Phil!" he cried. "Oh, Gods! Forgive me!"
Ella's head whipped around and lunged to her feet when Xaphile stumbled backwards, and before she had time to register the startled expression flashing across Gus's face, she sprinted over, blurring into view at his side.
Everything within her heart froze into a block of panic when she saw blood streaming from his throat and across fingers in gushes, running like red water.
"I-it was an accident!" Sinmir burbled, eyes wide in horror. "Forgive me!"
Gus, trotting up as well, let out a short breath of surprise.
Xaphile was clutching his neck and gasping for air, but Ella's heart lit on fire and instinct kicked in. Lunging forward, she shoved him to the ground and forced him to lie flat.
"Go get Amelia or Vrael!" she shrieked "NOW! If his throat was cut, he has only minutes!"
Gus immediately bolted for the lodge, hollering for Amelia.
Ella felt wild and panicked, but her hands didn't tremble when she sank down beside him and frantically ripped his hand away from his neck, replacing it with her own.
She kept pressure on his skin, the blood on his fingers running across her hand, and desperately tried to examine the wound while keeping the pressure until she realized something.
Her brows furrowed and she touched her own throat with her free hand.
"It isn't cut," Ella murmured, confused. "We're still linked... I would be hurting if it was."
She looked at her hand, which was aching and stinging horribly.
Her neck didn't hurt half as much.
"I... I'm fine," Xaphile choked, coughing against her. "My throat isn't what's cut."
Ella slowly pulled back, looking at the blood staining her fingers before she snatched his hand, turning it over. A bloody gash lay on his palm, but only a faint purple bruise marred his neck, a red hand print where his fingers had been.
Relief nearly made her melt into a puddle as she pressed the edge of her cloak against his palm, keeping it raised. The blow to his throat was still choking off his breathin, so she wrapped him in her arms and forced him to sit up a little.
When the rasping cut off not long after and he started breathing easier, Ella dropped her head down, only her breath shaking, and the static in the air slowly eased.
Amelia and Vrael came trotting out behind Gus not long after, but their panicked expressions melted into confusion when they saw the scene before them.
"I'm... fine," Xaphile whispered. "I-I'm sorry. I wasn't looking. I didn't mean t-t..."
"Don't apologize!" Ella lashed out. "It wasn't your fault!"
"I am sorry, Phil," Sinmir, kneeling beside him, touched his shoulder comfortingly, sighed. "Please, forgive me."
"Don't worry. I-it was my fault," Xaphile rasped, shaking his head. "I wasn't looking."
"No," Ella barked, harsh again, but she was aiming her anger at Sinmir. "It was not his fault. You should have been watching what you were doing."
"I know," the man sighed, dropping his head and clamping his jaw shut hard in shame. "It has been long since I've trained a beginner. I should have paid far more attention to his movements."
"Let me see the wound," Amelia commanded, kneeling down and taking his hand; she winced when Ella pulled her cloak back. "Yikes... that looks really painful."
Ella cleaned Xaphile's throat, watching as Amelia chanted her healing spell.
Her hands were soon suffused in golden light that melted the wound away from his body, but he pulled his fingers out of her grasp as soon as she let him.
The moment he was healed, Ella leaned back, the rapid pounding of her heartbeat subsiding.
"What were you thinking?" Gus finally demanded. "You could have killed him!"
"It wasn't like that!" Xaphile quickly interrupted, but Ella gave him a razor sharp look.
His protests withered and he shrank back.
"I very am sorry," Sinmir grunted, squaring his shoulders. "I take full responsibility."
Ella let out an infuriated snort as an unholy amount of rage bubbled up her throat.
"What were you trying to teach him?" she slowly demanded, angrily narrowing her eyes; the prince kept his head up, even though it was obvious he wanted to shift back.
"The Herle defense."
"That is to disarm the enemy, not slice their hand in half."
"Ella," Xaphile protested, "it wasn't his--"
"Quiet!" she hissed, then looked at Sinmir. "Perhaps I should show you the maneuver?"
Taking one more look at the blood staining her hands, she lunged to her feet and dragged the Adanacian prince across the clearing.
Leaning down, she snatched the sword he had been using and shoved it into his hands before drawing her daggers, and without another word, she angrily lunged at him.
Sinmir leapt back, gasping, hurling himself into a defensive movement.
In a few quick slashes, Ella's hands became a blur, as did the blades extending from them. She and Sinmir fought blow for blow in a deadly-looking dance, his brute strength against her speed and fluid flexibility with dodging.
Everyone watched, breathless with shock and alarm.
She lunged and struck, he swung and parried.
Ella eventually caught him on his blind side and he threw his sword up before his face to block the attack she was throwing at him. In an instantaneous movement, she lunged, twisting the hilt of her left dagger around his own, and with a jerk, she yanked his sword free.
Sinmir's blade clattered helplessly to the ground, and Ella shoved forward, tackling the prince with so much force that he stumbled backwards and fell, landing hard on his back.
Before he could move, she was on top of him, blades crossed over his throat.
"Do you see?" she panted, applying just enough pressure for a tense ripple to course through the air. "That is the Herle defense. Learn it well, so you may teach it well."
Sinmir's eyes were as hard as stone, but there was guilt there, too.
"I am sorry," he said softly, waiting until she pulled the knives from his throat. "I will remember this moment, and I will never make such a mistake again."
"You had better not. Next time you--"
"Stop it!"
Ella froze when behind them, Xaphile scrambled to his feet and strode forward, long hair rippling behind him. He glowered down at her fiercely, standing between her and the bewildered prince, who's grey eyes went wide in surprise.
"Stop it," he reaffirmed. "It wasn't Sinmir's fault, it was my fault. I wasn't paying attention, so when he dragged the sword out of my hands, I tried to catch it by the blade and cut myself."
"Eh? But, your throat--"
"Got hurt because Sinmir freaked when it happened," Xaphile finished. "He jumped forward just as I doubled over and smacked my neck with his shoulder. Stop blaming him!"
There was a heavy pause and a deadly, pin-drop silent minute passed by as Ella stood there, breathing hard, panting. She didn't want to admit it, but the fact that he had been angered over her actions stung a little.
She tried to hide it, but obviously she didn't do very well, and she knew he'd seen through her when the hostility in his eyes shifted into awkward dismay.
"Sorry for yelling," he muttered. "It's just... it wasn't his fault."
Sinmir, rubbing his back, rose to his feet with a grim countenance and Ella glanced between the two of them, realizing she'd just made an unfair mistake.
"Don't apologize... I lost control of my anger for a moment," she said, then turned and reached out, tentatively touching the blonde man's shoulder. "Forgive me, Sinmir. From one ruler to another, I ask your forgiveness for treating you in such a manner. I jumped to conclusions without bothering to listen, and for that, I apologize."
"You are forgiven, and I hope that I am as well," Sinmir said quietly, patting her hand. "Why don't we stop for now? After that tussle we just had, I might need to reevaluate my ability to hold my own with a sword since I fought you as I would an enemy bent on killing me."
Ella nodded slowly, then headed away without looking back, but once she was out of sight, she sank down to the ground and buried her face in her hands.
Regretting, yet again, losing her temper and actingon blind anger without knowing the facts.
For several minutes, she was alone with her thoughts, but eventually the sound of heavy footsteps permeated the air.
"Are you going to tell me what all that was about, lass?" Sinmir demanded; when she looked up, she realized that his fingers were clasped together in a rough, calloused fold. "Speak to me. I've not seen you that angry before."
"I don't know," she sighed. "I know that my actions were uncalled for; do not tell me."
"Aye."
"But I... I felt it," she muttered, looking up carefully. "I felt it, Sinmir. When the knife cut his hand, and you hit his throat... I felt his shock and his pain. I felt it, I tell you, and the fact that I hold you in such high regard as a man, and a ruler, is what made me so angry."
Sinmir didn't respond for a second, narrowing his eyes a little.
"You hold me in high regard?"
Of course I do," she snorted, rising to her feet; then she paused. "Were you... not aware?"
"No, I wasn't," he said slowly. "Is it safe to assume its because of my political position."
Ella felt offended by the inquiry.
"It's not because of your political position," she scoffed, then let loose a sigh and awkwardly mumbled, "it is because I have seen what sort of person you are."
His grey eyes were oddly watchful.
"Oh? And what kind of person is that?"
"You are a good man, Sinmir... good enough to have gained my trust and his. I would not have allowed him to train with you did I not have faith in your ability and your integrity, and I lost my composure because it was you who hurt him."
"Your anger was of the territorial sort," he dryly noted, making her insides freeze. "I hurt him, true, but even though it was an accident, it enraged you enough to wish actual harm on me."
Ella analyzed her own feelings and realized that he was correct.
"You are right," she agreed, meeting his gaze plainly, "but I do have enough self control not to take things too far."
"I was not so sure when your blades were pressed against my throat, lass."
"Then let me assure you, I would never truly harm anyone that Xaphile cares for," Ella said, then leaned forward with a much sharper expression, "but do not misunderstand. If more mistakes like that happen, I might just get angry all over again."
"Is that a threat?"
"It is," she said simply. "Don't worry, though... at most, I will only maul you a little."
He raised an eyebrow.
"Am I supposed to be reassured by that?"
"Not at all."
Sinmir's face slid into a smirk when she cocked her hip and plainly folded her arms.
"Well, I'm heading back inside, then. You have my word that I'll be more careful in the future."
"Good," Ella murmured, peering around his form when she saw Xaphile walking up. "I need to talk with him alone before I head inside myself, though."
"By all means," Sinmir drawled, sidling off with a wave; as he passed Xaphile, the blonde man clapped him on the shoulder and muttered another soft apology.
Ella watched as he slinked off, then turned her eyes on Xaphile, who was approaching her with a tight mouth. She waited until he stopped directly in front of her.
"Look," he muttered, running a hand through his hair. "Sorry for snapping at you."
She silently stared at his neck, examining the growing bruise, then stepped forward and let her head thump against his chest in relief. She pretended to be completely oblivious to the way he stiffened beneath her touch and just stood there for a few minutes, breathing deeply.
Relaxing in his presence and basking in the safety his warmth provided her.
She could have stood there forever.
If only time could stop.
Her heart jumped when his arms came around her, embracing her gently, almost hesitantly, and carefully rubbed her back.
"Ella," he sighed. "I know that what just happened gave you a scare. I saw it on your face and felt the panic flooding through you. I'm really, really sorry. It shouldn't have happened. If I had been paying more attention..."
When he trailed off, she turned her head and stared off at the woods, cheek resting against the streak of animal-like fur running down his abdomen. It was soft to the touch, like rabbit fur, and she had to resist the urge to nuzzle it.
"I don't like seeing you in pain," she sulked. "Please try to understand that when it comes to you, I just can't hold anything back. Not my anger, not my feelings, not anything. Seeing you hurt makes me want to destroy what hurt you."
"Really?"
"Yes. And perhaps, that is the real reason why I have become so reckless. I hurt you most of all."
He went rigid beneath her, like a stone block, and silence filled the air for the longest time, but when he finally spoke again, his tone was so careful that she felt a little confused.
"Don't... destroy yourself, Ella," he murmured. "If you love me like you say you do... live."
She closed her eyes and nodded against his belly, basking for a moment in the silkiness that slid across her cheek with the movement, feeling like heaven.
Far in the distance, the sound of wing beats filled the air, and Xaphile finally let go of her.
"Sounds like Vordt's coming," he muttered. "I should go meet him."
"Work hard," Ella commanded, pulling away from him. "Do your best."
She knew that if anyone back home could see how much she had changed in such a short time, it would have shocked them immensely, but she no longer cared about such things.
When he nodded and turned to walk away, she watched him go.
Wishing he would have held her for just a little bit longer.