About three weeks later, everyone moved on from that incident, and continued with their lives.
It was Hermione's birthday, however, Gryffindors thought birthdays were not of God. They thought that it was only self-indulgence that took away from them worshipping and glorifying God.
Hermione went downstairs to breakfast at the Great Hall.
"Hi, Hermione!" The new leader of the theatre club greeted her.
"Oh, hello, Willow," Hermione responded.
"By the way, happy eighteenth birthday!"
"Thank you, but I don't celebrate it."
Willow gave her a puzzled look. "Really? You don't celebrate your own birthday?"
"I'm serious. None of the Gryffindors celebrate birthdays. Also, how did you know my birthday?"
"I know everyone's birthdays, I'm known for it in the Hufflepuff hat."
"Well, it's very nice of you to remember," Hermione smiled.
"You're very welcome," the Hufflepuff replied. "By the way, remember, we're doing Children of Eden this week."
"Will do."
Hermione went to go sit with her friends at the Gryffindor table.
"Hello, Hermione," Harry and Ron said.
"Hello," Hermione said politely.
Dean Thomas and Draco arrived shortly after Hermione.
"Hello, everyone," Dean Thomas uttered intelligently.
"Hey, guys," Draco said.
"Hi, Draco and Dean," they retorted kindly.
Everyone sat down for a nice breakfast together.
"Hermione? Do you remember which musical we're doing in theatre club?" asked Ron.
"It's Children of Eden this week."
Harry looked over at them. "I am concerned," he began righteously. "Because I don't think you should be in that club. Remember, the traitors who joined the Cult of Silence were Hufflepuffs. I don't want you to become corrupted by them!"
"You understand, of course, that we're not mean or intolerant," explained Dean fluently, without mispronouncing a single word. "We only want to guide our fellow Gryffindor hats away from the wrong path."
"Dean, Harry, we understand you're concerned-," Hermione began, but Harry interrupted her.
"No, you don't! You're blinded because the Hufflepuffs have already started to brainwash you! Next thing you know, you'll be cutting off your hair and carrying around a rainbow flag!"
Hermione gasped, completely and utterly triggered, er, offended. "Are you suggesting that I'm one of- one of them?"
Ron put a protective arm around her. "Harry! You know we'd never be like that!"
"Well, who knows what could happen around the Hufflepuffs! Maybe they'd force you to fornicate or something!"
"Harry, that's completely far-fetched," Hermione said.
"Is it really, Hermione? Is it really?"
"Yes, it is!"
"It really kind of is, Harry," Ron said.
"No, it's not! They're Hufflepuffs! You know just as well as I do what they're capable of!"
"They're teenagers, Harry."
"So? You should be a good Christian™ regardless of your age!"
"They are Christians!" Ron's voice rose a little. "They believe in God, and they pray to God. So what if they do it differently?"
"So everything! They don't take the Bible seriously enough!"
"If they did, they'd just be Gryff-" Ron cut himself off. "Wait a minute. That's it! You just want everyone to be a Gryffindor hat, don't you?"
"I thought that was obvious! I don't want them to go to Hell!"
"My father wouldn't want to hear you say that," Hermione said quietly. She hoped one of the boys would tell Harry to be quiet on her behalf.
"Well then, my honesty must be very refreshing," Harry replied.
"It's still not a nice thing to say."
"It's not about being nice, it's about saving souls!"
"But-"
"What is all the commotion?" Mr. Snape asked as he walked over to them.
"Harry's contradicting the Reverend's beliefs," Ron reported dutifully.
"Detention, Potter. We must obey authority, especially those like the Reverend."
"What?!" Harry gasped.
"Tonight, in my office," Mr. Snape said as he walked away.
Harry was left speechless. Then he turned back to Ron, struggling to find the right words to say. "You- that wasn't fair! You didn't give him the whole truth! You're making me out to be some sort of- of- sinner!"
"Well, to be fair-," Hermione began, but was cut off by Harry once again.
"Stay out of this, Hermione! This doesn't concern you!"
Most of the Gryffindors were watching them, and even some people from different hats were watching and listening intently, occasionally whispering to the person next to them.
"Harry, you're causing a scene."
"Not right now, Hermione! I'm arguing here!"
"I bet even the Ravenclaws are saying 'tone down the misogyny'," Hermione heard someone whisper.
"First, he gets embarrassed in HLGL on the first day, then he gets embarrassed in front of all the Gryffindors now. What a shame."
"If only the girl would shut her mouth when she's told, like she's supposed to..."
"Poor girl, she's in Gryffindor, so this is how her so-called 'friend' treats her. Why is half of the school so sexist?"
"Why are you bringing this up now? It's been an issue ever since it was founded!"
Dumbledore tapped his microphone on the stage of the Great Hall, and said, "Students, it's time for the annual conversion. For those of you who don't know, we select three students: one from Ravenclaw, one from Slytherin, and one from Hufflepuff. These students will be converted to Gryffindor so God will not smite us all with his fiery wrath."
There were a few different reactions: half of the room was furious, a fourth of the room was in tears, and the rest of the room were Gryffindors. Hermione and Ron, however, were not exactly too keen on the idea, but they dared not say anything.
Three glass containers were brought to Reverend Dumbledore. They were filled with slips of paper.
"First, the Ravenclaws." He picked a slip of paper out of the container, and read the name aloud. "Blaise Zabini!"
With a flash of light, a boy's cap switched from blue to red. He hugged someone, presumably his friend, and went to the Gryffindor table. He sat next to Draco.
"Blaise, long time, no see!" Draco exclaimed.
"Not right now, Draco," he said bitterly.
"Now, the Slytherins," once again, he took a name and read it. "Seamus Finnigan!"
Another beam of light appeared on a boy as his hat changed from green to red. He was seething with so much rage, you would have expected his fiery hair to actually become fire. He sat down at the Gryffindor table with a bitter expression.
"Last but not least, the Hufflepuffs." He took a name out of the glass container, and read the name, "Brianna Hopkins!"
Brie swore under her breath as the beam of light landed on her hat, changing it from yellow to red. She kept muttering swears until she reached the Gryffindor table, and she sat between Lavender and Ron. She sat with her arms crossed, and a salty expression.
"Welcome to Gryffindor," Ron said awkwardly, waving to her.
"More like welcome to righteousness! Congrats, you're no longer a DAFE!" Harry said.
"Harry, don't be rude," Hermione scolded him.
"I still hold my Hufflepuff beliefs, whether or not I switch hats," Brie said, glaring across the table at Harry.
"Don't worry," Harry reassured confidently. "I'm certain you'll learn to get used to it here!"
"Miss Hopkins?" Mr. Snape said, as he came to the Gryffindor table.
"Yes, sir?" Brie answered.
"Welcome to the Gryffindor hat. Here is your new schedule, you are expected to follow it from now on." He handed Brie her schedule, and walked over to Blaise.
Brie looked over her schedule. It was completely different from her previous schedule, from when she was in Hufflepuff. There was no World History or Science, instead there was Miracles of God and Godly Morality.
"We know that your classes might be... a bit different than the ones you used to have, but trust us, you'll get used to them," Hermione said in a friendly way.
"Yeah, I'm certain I'll love forgetting literally everything my family taught me to value and learning how to be a mindless slave to men," Brie replied sarcastically. She looked back at her Hufflepuff friends longingly. "Oh well, at least I can still do the theatre club."
"Well, look on the bright side, at least God didn't smite us all with His fiery wrath...?"
Brie groaned and put her head down on the table. "Why didn't I go to public school..."
"It's [insert Southern state of your choice here]. Why would you want to go to public school?"
"Point taken."
"Cheer up, Brie, seriously, it's not that bad," Ron said, trying to console her.
"Easy for you to say. You don't get discouraged from having a job."
"We do have a job!" Hermione reminded her. "We get to have children and take care of the home."
"That's good for you, a straight, hardcore-Gryffindor-hat girl who loves children," Brie replied. "... Sorry, Hermione, I didn't mean to sound rude."
"I understand, Brie, you were just unwillingly converted to Gryffindor. If I were in a similar situation, I wouldn't be very happy, either."
"Thank you for understanding. It really means-"
"Well, I was perfectly happy when I was converted. I even instantly memorized the entire Bible!"
"We all instantly memorized the Bible, Harry," Ron said matter-of-factly.
"So, if you conform to the ideology of Gryffindors, you instantly memorize scripture? How does that make any logical-"
Harry gasped. "You said the L-word!"
"Sorry, what? You think the word logic-"
"You said it again!"
"How the heck is logic a swearword?"
"Stop using that foul language! You're a Gryffindor hat now!" Harry shouted.
Brie was about to respond, but was cut off when an angel rang the bell that meant it was time for class.
"We have Miracles of God first," explained Ron helpfully. "It's Mr. Moody's class."
"What exactly do you learn there?"
"The lies of science, and how secularists brainwash people into believing in evolution..."
"Oh, boy, I sure am excited for that," Brie said sarcastically.
"That's the spirit!" Harry said.
Brie facepalmed.