Chapter Thirty Five || I Got You
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I'll be there to stop the bleeding
I'll be there to start the healing
I will give you what you're needing
I'll be right there
I got your back
I got you - Ciara
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Kamille Riley Paige
At ten in the morning, here I stood over a hot stove preparing a small breakfast for my two loves. Despite the aching in my back or the morning sickness from my pregnancy, still I stood doing a host of motherly & supportive girlfriend duties this morning. I'd pushed my pain to the side for the sake of my daughter's hunger, my unborn child's health, as well as my boyfriend's appetite and need to eat while going through a rough patch in life. Today, my own needs has been put last while I tended to the ones I love.
It was such a rainy and gloomy morning for us all, not only with it actually being rainy outside, but the fact of Ms.Montana's life being taken away was heavy in the air as well. Still with all of it, I prepared a hearty meal that consisted of eggs, bacon, grits, and pancakes on the side. When I cooked, I made sure they'd be full when I cooked. As I plated the hot food, Rae came skipping into the kitchen and climbed up onto one of the bar stools. I shot my baby a smile as I handed her a plate and a glass of orange juice and watched as she said her prayers before digging in.
"Mommy, why is G so sad?" She blurted out as she looked up at me. I sighed while I stood eating some eggs from my plate while trying to clean the kitchen back up in the process. I usually liked to clean the kitchen before I even ate, but today was different.
"Baby, G is just going through something right now." I said in a moderate way, trying not to give away too much detail until the necessary time. Raegan had met and grown to love Ms.Tracy as she did her own grandmother, which is why I didn't even know how to break the news to her that she was gone. I was going to have to tell her eventually, but I wasn't prepared right now.
"But, but, is he gonna' be okay? I hope he'll be okay." She said in her soft voice as she ate more of her food. At her words came another small smile. I was happy that she was concerned about him just as much as I was, it showed that she cared for him too.
"Yes baby, he's going to be fine. Mommy is going to make sure of it. Now, finish eating your breakfast while I take this up to G. If I'm not back, come and get me when you're done." I said and she nodded before focusing in on the television show. I grabbed his plate and headed out of the kitchen, kissing her forehead on my way pass as I headed up to the bedroom to find Gionni.
Just as he had been since he'd found out about his mother hours ago, I came up to find him out on the balcony of the bedroom. It was obvious as to what he was doing just by the smell that had it lit up in the whole bedroom. I wasn't a big fan of marijuana nor it's smell, but I dealt with it anyway because he was. With a sigh from my lips, I headed out onto the balcony and sat the plate on the table beside him. At the sight of me, he seemed to tense up. I could tell as he looked up at me with those red hooded eyes.
"Gimme' a minute," he mumbled as he stuck the blunt back up to his lips taking yet another pull from it. That same phrase has been all that I've heard since I found him over at Tracy's house. I had agreed to it simply because I knew this was hard on him, I tried to comply with all of his wishes but that was done.That one phrase had always turned into more than minutes and in the end resulted into him shutting himself off from me and the world. I'd been shut out all night and allowed him to cope with marijuana as his vice, but now I needed him to talk to me instead.
"No Gionni, I'm not falling for that again. I've given you time to think and be to yourself, but now I need you to talk to me baby." I said to him as I moved his hand over and sat across his lap. As if on cue, he sighed and turned his head away from me to blow a cloud of smoke out from his mouth in the other direction then he put it out in the ashtray. He tried his best to not smoke when he was around me, because of me being pregnant and I loved it.
"Ion wanna talk," he mumbled nonchalantly, looking away.
"I'm sorry Gionni, but I'm not giving you an option. I wanna be here for you baby, but you're not letting me do that. I love you a lot and I want you tobe okay. I'm going to make sure that you're okay. Just please, stop pushing me away from you, I'm not goin anywhere any time soon. I want you to talk to me and just let it all out. Tell me how you feel and not hold it in. I'm here for your support and in not leaving until you let me do that." I said to him sternly as my hand wrapped around his neck for stability. I just sat there waiting on him to say something and he didn't.
The two of us sat in silence as the light breeze whipped past our faces on the outside. His arm snaked around my waist as he held onto me while I sat on his lap, but still he didn't say anything. A total of fifteen minutes passed, or that's what it felt like of just it being complete silence before he finally decided to speak up.
"I don't even know how to fuckin' feel," he mumbled out softly as he fiddled with his fingers and looked down at his lap. I could already feel my emotions stirring inside of me at how gloomy he was behind this. It literally broke my heart to see the love of my life so down and sad, as well as not being able to change it.
"What do you mean?" I questioned, trying to get his feelings out.
"It's just crazy Kam. I don't even fully understand all of this shit honestly, it's just fucked up in so many ways that I'm still trying to figure out. How the shit played out is still stuck in my head. It ain't adding up at all man. My fuckin' mother was murdered and I don't even know how. The doors were locked, all the windows were locked, so how did it happen? There was no force of entry or nothing and the shit got me confused. I just don't fuckin get it or understand it. Seems like some lyin going on. Why would she lie to me about this tho Kam? I just don't get it." He sighed as he closed his eyes and shook his head back and forth again.
"Gionni, so what are you saying or thinking now? Your mother was shot in the head, no gun was found in the house. It had to be a murder, but it has to be something we're missing too." I said as all of the details started to roll over in my head again. Like he had said, it all wasn't adding up but I didn't know of the missing pieces. Something was fishy about this situation though and this was eating Gionni up inside about not knowing the full story.
Gionni had found Ms.Tracy yesterday sitting in a rocking chair with a bullet going through the center of her head. It couldn't be a suicide because no gun was found or any evidence indicating it as such. The only other option had to be that someone had come inside of her home and killed her, but who? There was so much left uncovered, so many questions with no answers to them. On top of that, the note that she left didn't leave much revealed for Gionni either. Two letters was all she left and it was as good as a dead end, so I felt his frustration partially from this whole thing.
"Ion' know, but the shit ain't addin' up right. I wanna mourn her death, but at the same time, she left so many pieces, it's like they don't even fit together. I'm lost. This shit hurt, when all she had to do was just come and talk to me. I would have done anything for that lady, but she chose to let it kill her before coming to me and letting me handle it. That shit hurt man, for real. It's like she would rather be killed than to just ask for help. You know how fucked up that makes me feel? I couldn't even protect her."
I sighed and grabbed his chin and made him look at me. "I know baby, but it's not your fault so don't try and place all of it on you because you're not to blame. Your mother had reasons, though it doesn't seem right to us, she had reasons for not telling you. I'm sure she knew you could handle it, but as a mother she would've rather dealt with it herself than brought her child into it. That's just what a mother does. You could've protected her, but maybe this was her way of protecting you. You just never know G,"
"I could've been the one protecting her, I should've been." He mumbled and pulled his face out of my grasp. I could only sigh at my attempts of getting through to him going in total vain.
"I know baby, some things just not meant to be understood,"
"You right. It's just hittin me hard. I lost two females in my life that were literally my fuckin heart. I'd do anything in this world for them, so how am I suppose to get over that? This shit just all piling up on me. I lost both of them because of me. I wasn't able to protect my baby sister and now I then let somebody come up and murder my momma. I just got back right wit my moms Kam and now she gone. This shit hurt. I feel like I'm the one that let them both get killed and that ain't a good feelin'. This shit eatin me up inspire. I don't even know what to fuckin do wit myself." He said allowing all of his emotions out and I saw the tears well up in his eyes and the cracking of his voice really broke me. His voice sounded so broken just like a lost little boy and it tore me apart right now. As if that hadn't been enough as it was, when one of those tear drops fell from his eyes my attempt at holding it together for his sake was over. "Fuck," he said as he wiped the tear away angrily causing the glass of orange juice to crash onto the floor. I jumped from the glass hitting the floor.
"Baby?" I called.
"It's all my fault Kam," he said in an even more broken voice and pulled his hands up to his face. That's when he finally broke and all of his tears began to fall. I pulled at his hands to get them out of his face and hugged him tightly as he just cried. To see Gionni the rough around the edges, tough, thug, guy cry had me crying my damn self. Tears slipped from my eyes as I held his head into my chest while he gripped onto me roughly. "It's all my fuckin fault. I shoulda protected them," he cried into my chest and I shook my head as tears streamed down my face as well.
"No Gionni. No. I won't let you blame yourself for that baby. I won't. You didn't know." I said between cries as I held onto him. "If you would've, I know you would've done everything that you could to save them both much like you did Raegan, and I thank and appreciate you for that everyday . I love you so much baby and your mother and sister did too. They wouldn't want you to feel guilty for something you couldn't control." I said holdin him tightly as he continued to cry on my chest like a baby.
It was very rare for Gionni to cry or show his emotions about it, so to have him cry and just break down right now was shocking to me and unexpected, but it was needed. He needed to let all of his emotions out in order to gain closure and peace of mind from all of this. The funeral would be in a few days and he was trying his best to be okay with it all. He didn't even wanna do a funeral at all, but I thought his mother deserved that much. I knew it all was hard on him, which is why I tried to be here for him with it all like he'd been for me. He needed me and I would be here for him if it was the last thing I did. I was in a bad spot once and he was what lifted me up and kept me going through it all.
The two of us sat in silence for the second time as I continued to hold him in my arms securely. No words were exchanged right now and that was fine with us. Our grips on each other were as strong as ever, but it didn't phase me. I just needed him to be ok. I sat on his lap as he held onto my body tightly, like his life had depended on it. I didn't mind, I'd go to the end of earth for him.
"Baby?" I whispered, deciding to speak. He didn't look up at me or even move a muscle. "Baby look at me." I demanded. He pick up his head a little and I sighed. I rubbed my hand along his jaw as I looked into his red eyes that held so much pain and suffrage until it hurt me to even look. I sucked in a breath and spoke. " I love you so much, okay? We all do. You're going to get through this, we're going to get through this I promise you G. I'm here at your side through whatever. I swear I'm never leaving you. I put my life on that, okay?" I said to him and he nodded his head and I was shocked when he moved and pressed his lips to mine. It'd been a shock, but I kissed him back as he gripped my robe.
I didn't budge as our lips moved against one another's while we sat outside on the balcony. I held onto him as he pushed the kiss further and his tongue shot out into my mouth, doing circles in. It'd all moved so fast as I held the back of his neck. Before I'd even been able to register what was happening, his hands rested at each sides of my thighs as he carried me back inside the room, not caring that the door was still open. I was soon placed down on top of he dresser as he swiped a few stray items on the floor. I didn't protest as I sat there in a robe that covered my panties and bra. We continued to kiss intimately until things got deep.
Soon his kisses began to form a heated trail down my body and it had my almost three month old pregnancy hormones going on a wild rampage inside of me. My skin was on fire as he planted a kiss all the way down to my thighs, before he hooked his thumbs in each side of my underwear and pulled them off roughly. I just wrote it off as him trying to relieve some stress so I didn't have a complaint. I could feel his breath on my vagina as he kissed each sides of my thigh around the area, purposely teasing me. I could just about feel my juices seeping from my pearl, I wanted him.
As if he'd heard my thoughts, he kissed the same trail back up my body and stopped at my lips. In the process, my own hands got to working and I pushed down his basketball shorts until it fell in a pile around his ankles. To my surprise, he didn't have on any boxers either which was an ultimate plus for me. His soldier sprang out proudly and salute me as he held himself in his hands while staring at me. His large hands latched onto my thighs and he held me tightly as he pushed himself into my wetness slowly. I moaned from contact as I held the back of his neck and bit at my bottom lip in pleasure. Damn, I could never get enough.
"Oh my God," I mumbled to myself as he kissed my lips one last time before he started to pound inside of me. I could feel it all in every long stroke that he gave as he pressed my back against the mirror behind me. G gave his all as the dresser rocked along the wall. It felt so good, my nails dug into his skin as he grunted and I moaned in pleasure. I bit down on my bottom lip hard again as he kissed the crook of my neck forming a hickey in the sensitive spot. I arched my head back and closed my eyes as he shoved all of himself inside of me and it drove me crazy. Lord bless all men that had the power of the curve to reach all spots, because I was in ecstasy. I pulled his face back onto mine and kissed his lips roughly, while bouncing on the dresser meeting his strokes.
"Fuck," he groaned loudly as he sped up his pace making the big dresser knock against the wall even more while I held onto him. Within the next couple of minutes, I moaned out in the bedroom loudly and creamed all over his soldier while he proceeded to fill me up with more of his seeds. It was a good thing I was already pregnant because a condom had been so far out of the equation.
For a moment we just stood there breathing for air and holding each other. He didn't bother to pull out of me and I didn't even make him do so. We just stood there looking at one another until it was me who finally spoke up. Good dick would make you do a lot of shit that wasn't normal for you, even though this was.
"I love you so much," I mumbled as I kissed his lips tiresomely. I grabbed his face and kissed him long and hard, then stopped.
"I love you too." He responded and I gave a weak smile and put a kiss on his lips one more time before pushing him back to get down. As if on cue, the door started to shake from a knock and an all too familiar voice sounded on the other side. I sighed as I got myself together and looked at Gionni in shock as I cursed.
"Mommmyyy." Raegan chimed as she knocked. "I'm done."
Once I hopped down from the dresser frantically, I reached for my underwear from off the floor and quickly slid them back on before tying my robe tight around me. I shot Gionni a look and he only nodded as he grabbed all his things and headed for the bathroom. Oh how I wish I could've joined in on that shower, it would've done me wonder, but duties called and I answered.
"Hold on Rae, I'm coming." I responded to her as I went into the bathroom and washed my hands thoroughly. That still didn't put a more clean feeling on me because I still felt disgusting, but first I had to get her situated before I showered. I headed outside the door just as the shower began to run. I had grabbed G's plate of food that hadn't been touched and greeted her outside the door.
"Yes baby?"
"I'm done with my bweakfast."
"Okay, you can go and play with one of your toys until mommy cleans the kitchen up. Then I'll come so you can have a bath." I told her and she nodded before high tailing her little ass to her room. I only shook my head as I headed downstairs to clean his plate and toss the food. I made sure everything was spotless, it was how I was raised and I carried on my mother's lessons. No man wanted a woman that kept a nasty house she always said.
Once I was down downstairs, I turned off all the lights and went to Rae's room to get her. I got her things and ran her bath water and made sure to add her bubbles. I helped her out of her stuff and sat on the toilet seat with my phone in hand while I allowed her to bathe herself before my help. She was five and very well enough to bathe herself, but I made sure she got all of her areas because she was getting bigger and she needed to be taught still. It didn't take long, maybe half and hour and she was all dressed in her room and tired. I gave her a snack and Caprisun and she was off to sleep for a nap. Next I had to tend to my other baby.
I kissed her forehead and turned off the light before going into the bedroom. I came to find him knocked out on the bed. I did a small smirk to myself as many thoughts ran through my mind. It was his first time going to sleep and it just happened to fall right after we had sex. That's how you know you got that good. Call a girl NyQuil, because I put his ass straight to sleep. I leaned over the bed and pressed a kiss to his forehead much like I'd done my baby girl and headed for the shower. I bathed quickly and threw on some biker shorts and one of G's t-shirts then left the room.
Since Gionni didn't eat his breakfast, I made it my business to fix him a sandwich for lunch. I paired it with chips and a bottle of water before going back up to the room. He was already up and staring at the ceiling with his hands behind his head.
"You're up," I said as I walked into the room. His eyes landed on me and went back to the ceiling with a nod. "Good, I made your lunch and I need you to actually eat this time Gionni."
"Ian hungry," he said and I sighed as I sat the food on the night stand beside the bed. I climbed onto him and straddled his lap.
"Well you're going to eat it. Now bite," I said and held the food in front of his face for him to bike. He gave me a long and hard look before biting into the sandwich and I smiled. That had got me in better spirits to see him actually eat. "Good boy, now here. I'm not about to feed you like you're one." I told him and a sigh left his mouth as he sat up a bit and ate. I got off of him.
In less than ten minutes the plate was completely clean and the whole bottle of water was empty. Not hungry my ass, this boy was starving. I smirked as I climbed from the bed and grabbed the tray to take it back downstairs. Before I could even move to get away from the bed, he grabbed onto each sides of my waist and pulled me back closer to the bed. I sighed and tried to move away again, but his grip wouldn't allow me to do so.
"G I'll be right back,"
"No, stay. C'mere." He demanded and without a fight I sat the things on the nightstand again and complied. I climbed back in bed next to him until he pulled me back onto his top. I leaned on his chest as his hands rubbed circles into my ass. This was quite relaxing to me, but I could tell there was something on his mind.
"What you thinking about?" I question as I look up at him.
"The way I was bout to fuck the shit out you from the back had Rae minded her business," he said and I smacked his chest as he let out a low laugh. "Nah, for real. Thank you Kam. Ian' mean to push you away and I don't want too. Shit just been hard on me a lot. I realize I got somebody real that's gone hold me down and I appreciate that Kam, know that." He said as he continued to rub my ass. I knew I wasn't the only girl that loved booty rubs either because they just felt so damn good. I was on the verge of sleep.
I smiled and leaned up to kiss his lips. "I love you,"
"I love you too baby momma." He say sarcastically and kiss my forehead before laying back into the pillows. Nothing lasted too long though because soon the doorbell was ringing. I sighed as I lifted my head from his chest to look up at him in confusion.
"Expecting somebody?" I questioned.
"Nah, you?"
"Nope, but you stay here. I'll get it." I said as I moved to get up.
"What the fuck Kam, how that sound? If anything you sit yo ass down and I'll go. Hol' up." He said and I climbed off of him and still got off the bed too. I watched as he grabbed his gun from a drawer in the nightstand and took it off safety before heading on downstairs to the door. I couldn't help but to follow behind him. I wanted to see who it was and low and behold it was LaLa and Lamar with pizza, wings, and a huge bottle of Hennessy.
"Wassup my G? A young nigga brought you some gifts." He said as he held the stuff up with a goofy grin on his face. I chuckled and welcomed both him and Lauren into the house and closed it behind us all. We all headed towards the kitchen area as L say it all down on the counter and focused on G. "How you holdin' up man? You good?" He asked and G only shrugged.
"Won't complain."
Lamar nodded at his response and nodded towards the back door of the house to head outside. "Lemme holla' at you for a minute bro." He said and G nodded before looking at me. He gave me a look and I didn't say anything before he came over and put a kiss on my lips and disappeared behind Lamar. LaLa and I headed to the den with a slice of pizza to catch up on our own business. I knew he needed his time with his brother and hopefully Lamar could make him feel on the ups, he needed all the good spirits he could get right now. Just to know someone other than me was here for him was a good feeling.
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Gionni Amir Montana
"You good man? I mean damn, I know you ain't good, but like is you aight?" Lamar asked as we sat to a table on the back patio. I could only look at him as he broke down weed to put in an L. It was right on time too because I was all out. At his question I ain even know how to answer. I was good physically, but mentally I was all fucked up. Shit was crazy, I was just trying to cope.
"Tryna be fam," I shrugged.
"I need you to be good bro. You been family for so long I love yo ass just like I do that girl in there, you, Kam, and Raegan. Ain't shit different. If you ain't good, that put some on me. You know I'm right hea' through whatever man. So wherever yo head at, I need to know cause I'm behind a hunid percent. I just need you to let me know what's in ya head fam, on some real shit man."
"I hear you and I preciate that fam. I just gotta figure some shit out on my own first, but I'm most definitely on that."
If not already, I knew once we laid my mother to rest hell was to be paid for whoever did this to her. I was still trying to put it all together in my head and get all the information I needed but for my mother I was going in on any and everybody who had some to do with it and that was my word. This here had hit home hard and I wasn't letting shit ride with her. Gabby's death and killer was still on my brain heavy, so I knew I had to come with it.
"Aight, aight. Just let me know. I know sis takin' care of shit for you ova here, you got a good one bro." He told me and I nodded at his words. I swear Kamille really been my light lately. If I aint have her, I don't know where I'd be right now. She literally been keeping me level and my head on straight through it all and that was exactly what I needed to help me through this tragedy.
"Yeah man, she keepin' me good." I nodded.
"I see, I see. That's a blessing. Then you got a kid on the way, boy you just getting blessed all kind of ways. Fucked up you had to lose one to get one, but that's life. Momma gone rest on and she gone Rest In Peace if I got anything to do wit it. On me bro," he said and again I nodded my head. Not only was Kamille a blessing to me, but having a nigga like Lamar by my side with everything was important to me too. This was my nigga, right or wrong I was going out like Tony bout him and vice versa.
For the next twenty minutes or so, I sat out in the back and just smoked some trees away with my brother to help ease the pain. I needed weed to keep me grounded. Kamille did her part, but I still need that extra kick to keep my mom off negative shit. I aint wanna get out doing nothing stupid until I put my mother down to rest. After that the whole city was gone be red until the nigga who did this was no longer breathing. I vowed that to myself.
Once we were done, we headed back inside of the house to find Kam, Rae, and Lauren sitting around on the couch watchin one of they lil movies and shit. I plopped down right beside Kamille and pulled her closer to as I rested my head on her shoulder. As if on cue, Lauren's smart mouth ass turned to me with that one funny expression of hers before she began to talk her shit.
"Well, if it isn't the bastard. I'm sorry about everything Gionni, no matter how much of an asshole you are, I hate this happened. If you need anything, don't call me. I'm just kidding, but yeah." She said and I laughed a bit before nodding. Lauren was always on my ass for some reason, but I'd grown use to her bullshit.
"Lauren," Kamille warned.
"Whattt? Sorry."
"Preciate it anyway." I told her as I held onto Kamille tighter. A couple hours had passed by of us just chilling in the living room, eating pizza and watching wack ass movies. I couldn't complain, this was what I needed to keep my mind steady. It was the times like this that I needed the most, so I appreciated them for stickin around to fuck wit a nigga. That didn't last too long, after while they had to leave so we were back to just us here at the house.
Once they were gone, I found myself back out on the balcony at about ten in at night rolling up another joint. I didn't usually just smoke this much, but I felt like I needed to be high every second of the day to keep the pain from hurting so bad. I was doing just what I needed to get by and this weed helped me do that. I only rolled up one fat ass blunt in a backwood to last me tonight.
"Gionni Amir' Montana," I heard Kamille call from inside of the room. I looked over my shoulder at her as she laid in the bed. It was a sight to see, but I turned back to lick the cigar to make a perfectly rolled blunt. This shit was deeper than you thought. I couldn't tell you how many times it had taken me to be able to open up a cigar without cracking and tearing the shit up.
"Yeah?"
"Baby, come to bed."
"Gimme' a minute." I yelled back to her. I had to faze this first. I heard no response from her and soon she was making her way outside onto the balcony in nothing but her panties and bra. It only took the image of her right now to get my dick hard, but I ignored it as I focused on my craft. I needed this right now.
"Please." She said again as she sat down on my knee.
"In a minute baby. I promise." I said trying to get her off me for a minute. I kissed the side of her neck and went back to doing it. I could tell she hadn't bout it because she continued to stare. As I finished up, I sighed and grabbed her chin to kiss her lips this time. "I promise," I reassured her and she nodded before getting up and heading back inside. As soon as she was gone from here, I closed the balcony door so the weed smell wouldn't slip in and I fired the joint up as I took a long hit from it. This that good.
As I relaxed myself in the chair and blew the smoke out into the air, I grabbed my phone and found myself on Instagram. I didn't even wanna post shit, I just wanted to see what the fuck was up with the world. Even when doing that, I found myself making a post on how I felt. I wasn't too quick to vent to social media, in fact the time I'd posted Kamille was my first. I don't know what had gotten into me, but that wasn't even me. This wasn't me, but here I was finding myself typing away at my feelings.
@Xo.Kamille: when you up waiting for you man to come to bed. Bare face, your girl could never 💁🏽 #LongLiveMommaTracy 👑
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-@Its.LaLa: Damn sis, you gotta drop that skin care routine. Everybody can be like you with no acne and dark spots. 😂😒
-@Xo.Kamille: @Its.LaLa, I gotcha sis. 😂
-@G.DaDon: ❤️
@KingLamar: Club type of night 🤴🏽#AfricanKing #MoneyBoi #PussyJuiceMadeMyBeardThisHealthy #BallaBoys #GStyle #LongLiveMaTracy #Icy #GDaMob #YKWTGO
@Its.LaLa: When a sample from your shoot comes in and you realize your bestfriend had you slayed for the Gods. Stay tuned 😘🐳
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-@Xo.Kamille: yes ma'am, you fine boo 💙💚 #MermaidVibes
-@KingLamar: you look like a whole sea outchea, wit yo ugly pretty ass. God wasn't playing around when he made yo turtle face ass. 😍
-@Its.LaLa: @Xo.Kamille 😘😘 @KingLamar fuck you!
@KJBallin_: Yo boy bout to graduate on these heauxs 😬💪🏼 cash me out here flexing wit no muscle. #1Week #ModelStatus #RiceSkinned
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-@Xo.Kamille: Can't believe my baby is about to graduate. I love you baby boy, congrats wit yo handsome self. 😍🤞🏽
-@Its.LaLa: Congrats lil boy 😌
-@KJBallin_: Oh so now I'm "lil boy" 😂 Let's not go there lil runner.
-@Its.LaLa: lmaooooooooooo. 💀
-@Xo.Kamille: Glad to see we're all getting along, but spare me 😳
@G.DaDon: If I had one wish 🙏🏽
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-@KingLamar: stay up bro 💯
-@KJBallin_: You gone be straight bro 👌🏼
-@Xo.Kamille: I love you baby ❤️
Just as I was exiting out of the Instagram app, the balcony door was sliding open again and there stood Kamille with a smile on her face. I couldn't even do nothing more than to smile back as I took another pull from the blunt that had dwindled down into a roach. She didn't even have to say anything, because I was first to speak up and let her know that she didn't even have too.
"I'm done ma," I chuckled softly as I stood up from my seat at the table and stubbed the blunt out into the ash tray before I'd made my way over to her. I immediately kissed her lips as I got her off of the ground. Her long slender legs wrapped around my waist as her arms went around my neck. She felt so damn tiny in my arms, even with the little baby weight she was now carrying. I loved her weight and how easily she could be carried. Nothing against the full figured women, but having a slender woman had its perks at times just like having a thicker woman did.
My hands trailed up and down her thighs as I walked with her in my arms until we made it inside of the room. I closed the door on the balcony back, made sure it was locked, and then pulled at the curtain to give us our privacy from the back years. She only smiled at me as I kissed her lips repeatedly until we reached the bed and I laid her body down on it and rested on top of her.
"I love you ma, you know that?"
"Yea, I know." She nodded as she kissed at the side of my neck. I only stared at her and all of her bare beauty as she laid all under me on the bed. My mind soon drifted to possibilities and stuff so I sat up and got off of her. She gave me a confused look.
"What?" She questioned.
"Ion wanna' hurt my kid."
"You're not going to hurt him Gionni, I doubt if he even feels it." She chuckled softly before pulling me back on top of her again.
"A boy, huh?" I asked as I picked up on the male pronouns.
"Yes, a boy. Why, what do you want me to have?" She asked as she propped herself up on her elbows and stared at me. I could only shrug as my mind began to wander. In the mean time, I got to feeling around on her bare stomach and kissed her navel.
"Ion' even know no more." I shrugged.
"Why?"
"I wanted a boy, I mean I think that's most men's dream to have his first child be a mini version of himself. Then again, all of the shit I've been through in the past couple months, years, makes it hard not to want a little girl. I've lost two important females, so I would love to have a daughter. Then, that brings me back to not wanting a daughter because it doesn't seem like I can even keep the women in my life now protected. I've lost two on my watch." I shrugged and that's how I really felt. I was so confused.
"G stop saying that," she said softly, but I shrugged.
"It's true," I retorted.
"No it's not. What happened to Gabby was not your fault. What happened to your mother was not your fault okay? That was out of your control and if you could've stopped it, you would've now quit blaming yourself for that. If we do have a daughter I know you will do everything in your power to protect her just like you would've done your mom and sister had it been in your control."
"Would've ain't good enough. It don't bring them back." I shot as I sat up off of her and pushed myself to the edge of the bed. I felt myself getting ready to push her away, but she didn't let me. I felt her hands on my shoulders as she hugged me from behind. I sighed and calmed myself down at her touch. It was just hard to believe her words when deep down I knew they weren't true.
"It doesn't, but baby .. You saved Raegan, you put your all in saving my baby and that means so much to me. She wasn't even your child and you stepped in to save her like she was. That just shows me you'll go ten times harder for our daughter and you'd have done the exact same for your mom and sister. Again I wont sit around and let you blame yourself for those things. I know it hurts, but you can't blame yourself for it all G." She stressed to me. I didn't even bother to say anything as I turned to her.
"Kamille, you know I appreciate you right?"
"Of course baby."
"Nah, like on a whole nother level. You've been here for me at my lowest point and highest, I can't thank you enough for that. I owe you for it, big time Kam, g shit." I said and she went on too smack her lips. I didn't say anything as she grabbed my chin and put a kiss on my lips. I didn't say anything, just let her did her.
"You don't owe me anything Gionni. This is what I'm here for, to support you physically, mentally, and emotionally and make sure that you're always good. That's all apart of being your one girlfriend G. I want what's best for you and what makes you all better. You're going through a tough time in life right now and I wouldn't want to be any where else than right here helping you through each step of the way. I love you so much and I'll always be here. I got you, through whatever, always remember that."
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Hope you enjoyed!
Excuse all errors!
Sorry for the wait!
Questionsss ..
1. How do you feel about how things played out? Gionni's mom had a bullet through her head, no gun, no sign of forced entry, nothing but a bullet in her head. What do you think happened?
2. What happens from here? What do you want to see happen before the end of the book? What do you think will happen?
xoxo Vanessa