“ She sees the truth behind the lies” -Angel of Harlem (U2)
“Now?”
Alaya felt razor-sharp needles pierce her head as the doctor spoke softly. She inhaled, holding back a scream, and responded to the doctor’s question with the same answer she had been using for the past five minutes.
“No.”
After a quiet click, Alaya felt Doctor Gilles step away from her. Alaya guessed that he had switched off the flashlight he had been using to check out her eyes.
A small sigh came from the direction of the doctor. Alaya knew that sigh. It was a sigh that said ‘She’s not getting any worse, but not any better either’. She had heard it from two other doctors already this morning.
The physical therapist had sighed and said that her internal bruising was healing nicely, but that her lungs were still “a cause of concern”. The neurologist had sighed and said that the stitches on her head and neck had healed perfectly, but that the brain scan revealed the same thing it had when she first did the test back home: the nerves weren’t healing. They hadn’t yet reconnected themselves with the other nerves in her brain.
Alaya waited for a count of three seconds before the eye specialist began her final diagnosis. “Well Alaya, your eyes are still showing high levels of melanin, which is what’s responsible for making one of them blue and the other green… And, judging from the test results, it seems that your vision spectrum remains blank.”
“Thank you Dr. Gilles,” Alaya whispered robotically. She heard a quiet shuffling, and then the sound of a door opening and closing.
Her lungs were still a cause of concern, the nerves in her brain refused to heal, and her sight wasn’t showing any signs of returning anytime soon.
And school starts tomorrow, Alaya thought to herself as she ran a hand through her thick hair. She went through the list of tests she had done today while she stretched her tense muscles. Alaya recoiled as a flare of pain shot through her hips and traveled up her stomach.
A brain scan, three blood tests, and two MRI’s. But the torture has just begun.
The door opened, and then closed again. “Ready to go Aya?” Lily’s overly cheery voice asked. Alaya pursed her lips. Lily’s voice brought back memories from her dream last night. After Lily had found discovered that Alaya’s sight was gone, she spent weeks talking in that tone.
Alaya took a deep breath, blew out her air, and nodded, sliding off the examination table. She let her her feet hit the ground with a slap. Lily’s arm instantly wrapped around her waist, and then they were moving. Voices mingled around her as Alaya walked out of the doctor’s office and into the warm September air. A small breeze blew through her hair so it covered her face, blocking her line of sight as they moved down the steps; good thing it didn’t matter.
Alaya could make out the sound of cars rushing down a busy road nearby. Two angry honks started her head pounding. With Lily’s help, Alaya settled into the passenger seat, the door closing shut with a loud slam. She pulled her dark sunglasses that sat atop her head onto her face.
I really need to remember to wear them more often, she thought.
She reached her hand over to her right and felt around for the seatbelt. Her hand had just grasped the cold metal part, when the door on the other side of the car opened. The car shook slightly as the Lily sat down.
Alaya finished buckling herself in just as the car started. Soft jazz filtered in from the radio. The two rode home in silence. Alaya used this time to think; she replayed the doctors’ words in her mind. In all honesty, Alaya didn’t care about the state of her lungs, or how well her stitches were healing. All she needed to hear was that her sight was returning.
Tough luck sweetheart.
Alaya busied herself by making a list of things she wanted to do when she got back to Lily’s house. Only two things came to mind. She wanted to, one, curl up into ball and cry; and two, eat ice cream until she was sick. It was damn good plan too; or it seemed like one until that voice in her head returned.
Go ahead. Cry! See what that does for you. Or, you can face the truth. What’s done is done, and you can’t fix it.
Alaya ground her teeth together, trying hard to block out Arianna’s patronizing voice. It was happening more and more often now. Whenever she thought of something, anything, Arianna’s voice soon followed. Not that she cared. Arianna could go rot in hell for all Alaya was concerned.
Tsk, tsk, the voice scolded her. Lying to yourself is just as bad as lying to everyone else.
“I know-“ thud “I have it-“ crash ”son of a-“ thud
Alaya laughed quietly, carefully repositioning her back on the wall opposite Danielle’s doorframe. “You okay in there?”
“Fine! Don’t worry about m-“ boom “The next goddamn-“ crash “That’s it!”
Alaya shifted her weight onto her right foot and placed her left on the wall, trying to hold in her laughter. “What on earth keeps falling on you?”
“It’s Aidan’s friggin sports shi-“ boom ”I am going to kill him!”
Danielle’s annoyed voice travelled across the hallway. “You really don’t have to-“
“I am going to find this recorder if it-“ bang “AIDAN!”
This time Alaya couldn’t help but laugh aloud. She stopped abruptly as fire shot up her abdomen and hips. Push through it Alaya.
“Aidan’s your brother, right?” she asked.
“If by brother,” Danielle’s voice grew softer as she travelled further away, “you mean giant pain in the-AIDAN!”
Alaya giggled quietly as Danielle proceeded to swear colourfully. The sound of sports equipment hitting the floor drowned out most of Danielle’s profanities. Suddenly the wall Alaya had been leaning on fell out from behind her. Alaya squealed in surprise as her body went flying backwards. Her head hit something solid and warm and a pair of hands gripped her waist to right her.
Alaya bit her lip to keep from gasping in pain as whoever had caught her shifted their hands on her hips. A low chuckle sounded from behind her. A low masculine chuckle.
“You alright Red?”
Alaya snorted and gently removed the boy’s hands from her waist. “Red, wow. Original,” she said sarcastically.
“It’s either that or Pippi Longstalking- your choice.”
Alaya frowned. “How about you call me Alaya?”
Crash.
“AIDAN HENRY! “ Danielle’s voice screamed. The boy chuckled once more before brushing past her. A woody scent followed.
“Yes Danny dearest?”
“I,” -crash -“am going to burn,“-bang- ” and then bury, all your sports junk!”
“And what exactly did my sports junk do to you today Danny?” Aidan’s asked. Alaya could hear the grin on his lips.
“It keeps falling on me!”
“And whose fault is that?”
Alaya listened absorbedly as Danielle and Aidan argued. Alaya couldn’t help but feel sad and a bit nostalgic as her stupid fights with Arianna played through in her mind. All those stupid little arguments seemed so pointless now. Now, she would kill for just one more day of teasing banter and screaming matches that, when you looked back on it a few hours later, made no sense.
“Well, I guess I’ll have to find later Alaya.” Danielle’s voice interrupted Alaya’s train of thought. Alaya forced her lips into a carefree smile.
“No problem Danielle.”
“Sorry about my ass of a brother- he was dropped as a kid. Messed up the part of his brain that filters the words that leave your mouth.”
Aidan answered with a grunt. “Please. Red, explain to her how charming I really am, “Aidan’s voice called from somewhere down the hall. “I even saved her from falling to her death.”
Danielle’s small hands landed on Alaya’s shoulders as she gasped dramatically. “No way! Aidan Klemins actually did something....nice? He is such a sweetheart.”
“That’s more like it.”
Alaya smiled in amusement. “Danielle, you make it sound like he’s a monster!”
“Only on the inside,” came Aidan’s reply. “This face is much to pretty.”
Danielle shook her head sadly. “Only in your dreams bud, only in your dreams.”
“And in the dreams of every lady between the ages of 13 and 90. “
Alaya laughed loudly now. “Wow.” Danielle laughed as well before letting out a sigh. “You poor deluded boy.”
Alaya’s vibrating cell could barely be heard over the siblings’ chatter. Aidan was trying to convince his sister that he could get any girl he wanted- Taylor Swift included, while Danielle tried (in vain) to set him straight.
“Hello?” Alaya said into her phone as she slid down the wall and plopped down onto the carpeted floor. “This is Florence Day Arts Academy calling; please hold,” a female voice said primly on the other end of the phone. Before Alaya could even process what she was about to do, she slammed her phone shut in a panic.
“Alaya? Who was that?” Danielle asked.
“Wrong number,” Alaya answered wiping every trace of panic from her face. Danielle must have fallen for her lie because the next thing Alaya heard was Danielle, listing reasons why Aidan’s theory was complete shit.
Florence Day Arts Academy? Why in the world would they be calling me?
That question and many possible answers bounced around Alaya’s head for the rest of the evening. By the time Alaya got back home her brain hurt. She walked into her room and picked up her acoustic propped up on the left corner of her headboard.
She positioned her fingers delicately on the strings and began strumming. It was song she played often; or one she used to before- At the thought of the accident Alaya’s mind went blank and she messed up the next four notes. Frustrated, Alaya cursed the ever present darkness behind her lids. She forcefully shoved the guitar away from her body, her breath coming out in pants.
It is possible to continue with your music studies Alaya. Being blind won’t affect anything.
Alaya narrowed her eyes in defiance. “What do you know?” she growled at the voice in her head.