Okay so this could be a depressing chapter in many ways😂😂 this chapter may also jump about a bit so just bare with me. Can't wait for next chapter!!! I just want to start writing itttttt!!!
So sorry the update was late. I did spend some time writing up my new book (well, one shot) for Valentine's Day so that took up a lot of my writing time for this story. Supper sorry, hopefully I can update quicker next time!
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I lost.
My eyes were red as I stared back at them through the changing room mirror. I just managed to drag myself out of my dress and had soon collapsed into the dressing chair. An upsetting sigh left my mouth in a very unattractive manner.
I lost.
They picked her over me. After a tie breaking round, I failed to impress. She was awarded a stunning princess key while I was lead off stage with the weight of defeat drooping my shoulders. Those last few moments continued to repeat in my mind as I glared at the girl in the mirror. She was unable to win.
I lost.
The very idea sent a tremble down my back. It spiked my breathing rate and caused a glassy film to form over my eyes.
There was a small knock on the changing room door.
"Yes?" I said in a hoarse voice. The door creaked open and a familiar honey blonde peaked her head through. Her cerulean eyes scanned over me, looking perplexed at my appearance.
"I know you're upset but you have to understand that everybody loses sometimes. You can't win everything, despite how much you might want to. Wait, are you crying Elaina?" Serena asked and my head snapped up. I pulled a fake smile and whipped away any water attempting to escape my eyes.
"N-no! I don't cry!" I shouted, desperately trying to cover my red, puffy orbs. Serena muttered something under her breath that I couldn't decipher.
"Whatever you say. But we should be going, Ash and your brothers are waiting." My best friend explained. I sighed, not at all pleased with the entire situation.
"I don't want to see my brothers, they'll have a lot to say about my loss." I complained, finally leaving the safety of the dressing chair. Serena put a hand on my shoulder to comfort me and I looked into her ocean blue eyes. They held a contagious tranquility that I was eternally thankful for.
"Don't worry, I'll shut them up." She gave me a wide smile.
"Thank you." I whispered.
"Besides, Eevee deserves a treat after all her hard work today." She noted as we walked out the door.
"You're right, Eevee still did really well today." I gave a small smile. We walked through the halls of the backstage area in silence. I, contemplated life while Serena softly hummed a tune to herself.
Its funny how I had this urge inside me that condemned any kind of losing whatsoever. It made me make a lot of irrational choices and was a trait that would probably distinguish how I lived my life. Something I couldn't keep under control, at least that's what I thought. Things like losing ate away at my very soul, and once I start something, I was stuck in forever.
"Performer Elaina?" I heard my name called in a thick masculine French accent. When I turned around, I met the face of Pierre, our host. My eyebrows furrowed, confused as to why he was in the performer's backstage, for starters, and calling my name second.
"Umm...yes?" I replied.
"I just wanted to apologize for forgetting your name on stage. That normally never happens but it's a lot of names to remember and you're a new face." He explained and I chuckled a little. The fact that he forgot my name irritated me at first, but I got over it. After all, people were less likely to recognize me as the girl who lost.
"That's alright...the girl in the hood...kinda has a nice ring to it."
*. *. *. *.
I glanced out the window for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past five minuets. Ash and Elaina were doing their private training again, chatting continuously on the battle field just outside Valerie's shop window. I was meant to be browsing the apparel again, or that's what I told the pair I would be doing. But I couldn't seem to keep my wondering eyes from the window.
They chatted happily, occasionally breaking into a mini argument. Their expressions constantly changed, from laughing to squabbling to serious as they were engrossed in the topic of conversation. I was most intrigued when their discussion would turn serious. Ash would become deep in thought, as if he was listening but not really there. His mind seemed to be in some other place. And I would wonder what he was thinking, what could be so important that he would detach himself from everything around him?
Elaina and Ash were spending an awful lot of time together lately. Training in the morning, in the evening and whenever they could in between. Not to mention the fact that those two could not go a day without a battle. Elaina refused to update me on Ash's progress cause she claimed we needed to 'figure it out for ourselves'. Leon had also been extremely busy following Valerie around and training with her whenever he could.
And then there were two.
Aron and I had talked a lot. He told me stories about life with their parents, more than Elaina ever did. Aron described his mother's delicious chocolate chip cookies and the Oran berry tree they had in their back garden. I had the feeling that he missed his parents a lot, more than he let on.
"Spying on them again?" Came a familiar voice, making me jump and immediately flare up. I hadn't noticed myself wonder to the window pane.
"Don't scare me like that, Aron." I muttered while turning away, abandoning the view. The twin chuckled, amused by my obvious discomfort.
"So how was your daily stalking session?" He asked following me to the shop sitting area. I parked myself on a bean bag, relaxing like a heap of limbs in a very unladylike fashion.
"I wasn't stalking, just checking up on them." I defended, though, I wasn't quite sure how much that would register in the fourteen year old's one tracked head.
"Sure you were." He grinned widely at me as he took a seat of his own. "They've been spending a lot of time together lately, aren't you jealous?"
"What?! Me, jealous? W-why w-would I be j-jealous?" I stuttered in a failed attempt to redeem myself. I was both shocked and frightened by the young boy asking such a thing. Aron just laughed.
"I'm not as blind as you assume I am. I don't think you noticed how many times you mentioned him during our conversations." He pointed out matter-of-factly. Meanwhile, my cheeks practically became a bonfire, steaming red to represent a tomato.
"I'm not that obvious, am I?" I asked weakly.
"Not to someone as oblivious as Ash. But hey, tell me if my sister is ever being a bitch, okay?"
"Aron!"
"I'm dead serious, I'll put her in her place." He deadpanned then casually shrugged, as if it meant nothing.
"Elaina would never do anything like that to me!"
"You're right, she's too obsessed with you. I'm sorry you have to endure her everyday. To be honest, I'm surprised you haven't kicked her out already." Aron said with a straight face. Those siblings would find anyway possible to insult each other, whether the victim was present or not. Sometimes it made me laugh, seeing the nature of brother and sister who knew each other inside out and other times it left me in utter shock.
"You're unnecessarily mean to your sister, you know?" I stated, raising a curious eyebrow. He simply shrugged.
"Aron? Serena?" The other twin burst in, finally showing his face after hours of being absent from the group.
Leon's hair was ruffled in all directions, something I could see girls going crazy for. He had slight purple bags under his eyes from tireless training. I knew Valerie had kept him on his toes lately, putting him to multiple tests day in and out. She seemed to enjoy training him. The teenage boy would continue to stand back up after she knocked him down, follow her like she was his oxygen. Leon held a strange passion for fairy type Pokemon that appeared unbreakable.
"Leon, you didn't come back to the Pokemon center last night. Where were you?" Aron asked, only a fragment of concern for his brother creasing each feature.
"Valerie had me practicing the same move until the early hours of the morning, then I fell asleep at the gym." He replied, rubbing his eyes briefly. I pitied the poor boy as he collapsed into the bean bag next to mine, letting himself relax and come undone.
"You must be exhausted, are you sure that's healthy?" I remarked as I observed his ashy skin that appeared to have paled over the past few days, highlighting the new lilac rings around his eyes.
"I'm fine. Valerie woke me up this afternoon with a promise to help me catch my first fairy Pokemon and uhh...something els too..." Leon said with caution, not meeting his brothers eyes and finding amusement in his fingers. Aron leaned forward, raising a curious eyebrow.
"What els?" The bigger twin questioned and the smaller one turned a nervous cheek. Even I became intrigued and began prodding Leon for an answer.
"Is Elaina with you?" Leon asked me instead of answering Aron's question. There was a slight fear in his eyes, making him look even more broken than before. I began to wonder what exactly he had been doing the past few days, only taking breaks to eat and watch his sister's performance.
"No, she's training with Ash." I replied, confused as to what he was getting at. Maybe his lack of sleep was toying with his thought process.
"I have something to tell you guys, and I only want to say it once." He sighed as both excitement and sadness swirled in his teal-green eyes.
"What is it? Just spit it out, Elaina and Ash won't be done for another hour at least, you know how they are." Aron pushed, tone raising as their mirroring eyes locked. The brothers appeared to have a silent conversation, like a special twin thing. Both just stared at the other with an intense look.
"I only want to say it on-"
"Just. Spit. It. Out." Aron growled. I watched the exchange with lips parted, lost for anything to say.
"No, I'm waiting for-"
"I swear Leon, tell me or I'll force it out of you. It's important, I can tell." Aron was filled to the brim with impatience as he read his brother like an open book.
"I'm not continuing my travels with you, I'm staying here. Valerie said she would be my mentor, and I, her student. She said she loves my passion and that she wants me to reach my full potential. My goal. The only way I can do that is by staying with her, here, in Laverre city. I already told her yes and there's nothing you can do to change my mind." Leon informed in a serious tone.
We settled into a nerve wracking silence as Aron and I drank in his words. It seemed to stretch on forever, like the emptiness was eating us all from the inside. I searched my brain for something to say but came up short of nothing. How could I deny him of his dream? The opportunity to reach his goal? This was a decision he made by himself. Probably one of the first decisions that hadn't been made for him. He was paving the way for his future and it would be wrong for anyone to deny that. So I stayed silent.
"Y-you're leaving us?" Aron croaked, more concern for his brother seeping into his expression. More than I'd ever seen.
"Yes, yes I am. And that's my decision so it's final." Leon nodded, a mix of emotions still staining both glassy orbs.
"You can't just leave me like that! When will I ever see you again?!" Aron's sudden out burst earned us a few glares from various shoppers. Aron didn't even give them the slightest bit of acknowledgement.
"For once, in my entire life, I'm making a decision for myself. It's not made by our parents or Elaina or you. It's mine and mine only. This time, I get to chose what happens in my life. I'm not here for you to control. I have ambitions of my own and they lie here, in this gym with Valerie. Please, accept this. I thought that was the whole point of going on this journey, to be free to accomplish our dreams. So let me accomplish mine." Leon pleaded as water droplets appeared to prick the corners of his eyes. And Aron stayed quiet for a minuet, coming to terms with what his twin explained. But after some deep contemplating, he seemed to reluctantly agree.
"How are you going to tell Elaina?" The bigger twin finally asked in a hoarse voice.
"Tell me what?" A familiar voice piped in, causing all three of us to jump. Our heads snapped up, recognizing the golden blonde girl before us. She had her arms folded neatly across her chest as she studied each of us individually. Her eyes paused on Leon, seeing his unhealthy appearance and broken expression.
"I-I have to tell you something."
*. *. *. *.
And I was back here again. Staring up at the star dotted navy sky. Cool grass skimmed my back. The Kalos forest was situated around me like a shield, or possibly a cage. Eevee snuggled into my side, also admiring the night sky's beauty. I always came back here, no matter what. I came back to the night sky for guidance or simply comfort. Comfort being exactly what I needed in that moment.
We had started traveling that afternoon, towards Lumiose city first and then down south for Serena's next performance. Usually, leaving a city behind didn't bother me. But it was different leaving a brother behind as well. I didn't think it would hurt so bad when Leon left. To be honest, I never imagined Leon would leave in the first place. The shock hit me like a tidal wave, conjuring up emotions I never thought I had towards the little dimwit.
"Everybody has a dream, right Eevee?" I muttered. Though our departure from Leon left me shook, I still admired him for being dedicated to his goal. It gave me respect for my little brother and even a glimmer of hope that he would succeed. I got no reply other than a slight nudge in my abdomen.
My goal was to become the best. It was rather vague and even I wasn't quite sure what it meant. Wether it was winning everything I did (which I wasn't doing a particularly good job at) or becoming the best trainer or a regional champion or what. Really, I was clueless. All I knew was that I wanted to be on top. Greater than myself as a person.
Everyone els was asleep, leaving me in quietness, only disturbed by the sounds of wild Pokemon. And as I continued to think about that last bone crushing hug I gave my brother before walking into the sunset, tears began to rim my eyes. Quickly, I brushed them away.
"No, I don't cry." I mumbled, too stubborn to let my sadness get the better than me. My whole life was built upon trying to be the strongest, wether it was achievable or not. I was so utterly stupid and blind, trapping any weakness inside. It was simply another bad habit I had acquired. I wasn't sure how much longer I could stay awake without shedding a tear so I did the only logical thing,
I fell into a deep slumber.
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I really hope you weren't looking for something to make you happy cause uhh...yeah. Promise next chapter will be a little more spirit lifting. But hey, this book is meant to be a roller coaster.