I practically skipped up the stairs when we got back, desperate to avoid a heart-to-heart with Gerard, when his voice stopped me.
"Wait Taylor, did you forget what I said earlier?" I paused and turned around to look at him and tilted my head in curiosity.
"Mikey, Frank and Ray are coming by soon remember?" He rolled his eyes at me.
"What?" Zoe squeaked, looking at Gerard in fear. She's only just started to feel comfortable around him and Lindsay and now she has to meet the rest of her idols. Needless to say she was currently having a meltdown.
"You forgot to tell her?!" Lindsay glared accusingly at him, causing Gerard to cower away from her.
"Sorry it must have slipped my mind?" He said, phrasing as a question as if to ask 'is this what I have to say to stop you glaring at me like that'.
Lindsay sighed at him and shook her head before addressing Zoe. "Yes dear, they'll be here in about forty minutes."
She nodded in response, tight lipped and hands shaking. I knew what this meant.
"Can you excuse us both for a few minutes please?" I asked, giving them pointed looks and motioning for Zoe to follow me. They both nodded before we made our way upstairs, Zoe shooting past me and heading to her bedroom.
I opened the door that she had slammed in my face and found her on the floor near her bed with her head on her knees, arms wrapped round her legs and rocking back and forth, staring unseeing at her wall.
"Zoe remember what you need to do," I said, sitting down opposite her and making sure not to encroach on her personal space, that always made it worse.
"Deep breaths, in and out, focus on my voice and block everything else out," I went through what I usually say but it was worse then normal, meaning nothing happened. So I resorted to the method I use for particularly bad episodes.
I sung a lullaby to her in a low voice, the same one I used to use to sing her to sleep when she had bad nightmares. After a few minutes she started to hear my voice and slowly calmed down enough for her to talk.
"They're gonna hate me, I can't do this," she said in between gasps of air.
"They won't hate you Zoe, they'll love you just like Gerard and Lindsay do."
"No they don't, they already think I'm weird and broken."
"That not true, they think you're awesome. If they thought such horrible things about you why would they have spent the past three hours buying things for the two of us?" I raised an eyebrow at her.
"I... guess..." She said, starting to look guilty, "I'm sorry, I just freaked out."
"Don't apologise Zo, it's not your fault, what matters is that you're okay now." I smiled at her, which she returned before asking her if she wanted to go downstairs.
"Sure," she replied, bouncing to her feet and smiling at me. Well at least she seems happier now I thought, before following her downstairs to the living room where the Ways where all sat watching Peppa Pig, much to Bandit's delight.
"Are we all good now?" Lindsay asked, looking up at us and smiling politely. Zoe nodded shyly, looking at the ground.
"Sorry..." she mumbled.
"Don't apologise dear, it's not your fault. This is all very new for you so we can understand it will be hard to adjust fully," she replied, Gerard nodded in agreement, smiling at the two of us.
Zoe looked up and smiled at the both of them. "Thanks," she said, looking a lot happier.
I smiled slyly at her, giving her my 'I told you so' look, causing her to pull a face and giggle. I chuckled at her, I always liked seeing her happy, she deserved a much better life than what she's been given.
"So the others will be here soon..." Gerard started tentatively, probably not wanting to startle Zoe again, "Frank's flight arrived earlier than we thought it would, and Mikey and Ray are picking him up from the airport so all three of them will be here in about ten minutes."
Zoe looked at me, so I can gave her an encouraging nod and smile. She took a deep breath and nodded, looking at Gerard.
"Okay then, I'm excited to be meeting them."
"They're excited to meet you," Gerard said, the corner on his lip turning up into a half-smile.
"Are you two girls going to sit down?" Lindsay giggled. I realised we were just loitering at the door to the living room. "Make yourselves at home already," she said.
There were two seats left, one next to Lindsay on the smaller of the two sofas and one in between Gerard and Bandit on the bigger sofa. Zoe took the seat next to Lindsay, she seemed more comfortable around her than Gerard, probably because she was more parental and maternal. I was more comfortable around Gerard for that exact reason.
As soon as I sat down Bandit crawled over to me and sat on my lap, giggling in delight.
"Do you like Peppa Pig?" She asked, looking at me sincerely. It was adorable.
"Eh, I prefer Pingu," I replied back, just as serious.
"Me too!" She clapped her hands together and laughed.
"Oh c'mon, tellytubbies is obviously the best show," Gerard joined in on our conversation. Bandit and I looked at each other with disgust and turned to him.
"Tellytubbies is awful, it's so unrealistic," I replied, as if he were insane.
"Oh and a talking penguin is?" He said, putting his hand on his hip sassily.
"Um, excuse me," I said, "he doesn't talk, he just goes 'noot noot'"
"Noot noot!" Bandit yelled, giggling again.
Gerard opened his mouth to argue but the sound of knocking interrupted him.
"Ahh that'll be them," Lindsay said, "now if you're finished arguing about children's television, would you mind answering the door?" She asked Gerard.
He looked a little confused for a moment, as if only just realising what he had been doing, before shaking his head and getting up to greet his guests, chuckling along the way.
I looked to Zoe, who was just staring at me incredulously.
"What?" I started defensively, "I like Pingu..."
"Uncle Mikey!" Bandit yelled before shooting off my lap like a rocket into the man's arms. He caught her, laughed and swung her around in his arms. He was followed shortly by Ray and Frank, with Gerard railing behind all three of them.
"Hello boys," Lindsay said, going over to hug all three of them. Gerard pouted slightly so she hugged him too, rolling her eyes as she did, before going into the kitchen to make some coffee for everyone. At the same time, Bandit had consecutively jumped on all three of the guys, demanding their attention before running back to me and sitting on me.
With the pleasantries out the way, Gerard stepped round the others and gestured to Zoe and I. "We have some new members of the Way family. This is Zoe and Taylor."
"Hi," Zoe whispered shyly. I waved a hand nonchalantly, going for the 'couldn't care less' strategy.
"It's nice to meet you both," Ray said.
"Thank God you didn't go for basic kids, these two look like our kinda people," Frank said, looking between the two of us appraisingly.
"I thought I was only getting one niece or nephew, I feel outnumbered now," Mikey teased.
"Well we saw them both-" Gerard started.
"-And we're quite clearly too awesome to leave behind so you get two of us unfortunately." I finished for him, smirking.
The four men laughed at my joke before I spoke again. "Don't worry though, Zo's not as annoying as I am."
"Ahh you're the shy one aren't you?" Frank asked her. She nodded apprehensively, shifting in her seat now that the attention was on her. Frank bounced over to her and sat down, smiling widely.
"Don't worry, I have anxiety too, it fucking sucks doesn't it?"
"Language Frank!" Gerard said in shock, gesturing to Bandit, who was still sitting on my lap.
"Whaaat? I was building a rapport here Gerard," he replied, gesturing wildly between Zoe and himself, making her giggle. "Much like I did when I first met you."
"Hey!"
"Dude he was such a little nerd when we first met," he turned to Zoe, mock whispering so the rest of us could hear, "I think he had a bit of a crush on me too."
"Frank!" Gerard said, blushing.
"Relax, Gee, we're both married men now," he said, winking at him.
"Oh god I am using that against you some time," I gasped out between my hysterics. Gerard stood there with his arms crossed glaring at Frank and I, a deep red leeching colour into his pale cheeks.
"I knew the ship was real..." I said, smirking, causing Mikey and Ray to laugh too.
"What's 'the ship' mean?" Bandit asked innocently, looking between the laughing men with an intelligent curiosity in her eyes.
"Alright that's enough!" Gerard yelled, scooping up Bandit in his arms and going to join Lindsay in the kitchen, leaving the five of us, Zoe included, laughing at his expense.
"Dude that was just mean," Mikey said, causing Ray to nod in agreement whilst they both were wiping the tears of laughter from their eyes.
"Hey you were laughing too," Frank said defensively.
"That was brilliant," I laughed, "do I have permission to use that whenever he's being annoying?"
"Sure thing, just as long as you don't torment the fucker too much, I'll feel bad otherwise."
"Of course," I smiled sweetly at Frank, causing him to roll his eyes at my playfully.
So tell us about yourselves," Mikey said, sitting down on the sofa I was on and looking between us curiously. I gestured for Zoe to go first.
"Um... well I'm 13, I like reading and listening to music and most people scare me," she said, smiling slightly at her little joke at the end. The three men chuckled a little bit.
"Don't worry kid, most people scare us too," Ray said, sitting down on the floor between the heads on each sofa, almost forming a circle.
"Yeah, especially teenagers," Frank joined in, "those fuckers are scary."
"Well I'm glad to know how you feel about me Frank," I smirked, as I was rewarded with some more chuckles.
"Hey it's not my fault you have that whole sullen thing going on," he shot back, eyes twinkling mischievously.
"Anyway," Mikey cut in, obviously wanting to avoid that argument, "what kind of music do you like?" He turned to Zoe again.
"Oh... well I like..." She hesitated, not sure whether to tell the guys that she loves there music or not. I have her an encouraging nod, smiling knowingly.
"I like My Chemical Romance actually, you guys have been my idols for years."
"Yes!" Frank punched the air. "Hey Gerard!" He called, looking towards the kitchen.
I heard grumbling and Lindsay say "don't be so childish" before he answered back, sounding reluctant.
"What now?"
"You picked some good kids here, I like them!" He paused and then smirked, "and sorry about earlier, you know I was just joking!"
I heard a sigh. "It's fine Frankie and thanks, they're both great!"
Zoe's eyes lit up and she looked towards me. I gave her my 'I told you so' face and smiled back at her. I was so glad she seemed happy here.
"What about you Taylor?" I heard Ray ask, I looked towards him in surprise.
"Tell us about yourself," Mikey prompted, smiling politely.
"Oh. Right." I started, not sure what to say, I was a very private person. "Not much to talk about really, I'm basically just an arrogant social reject with a distaste for humanity."
"That's what she wants you to think," Gerard said walking back into the room with Lindsay and Bandit, holding some cups of coffee for everyone.
"I'm a seventeen year old Goth... Of course that's what I want you to think," I said, rolling my eyes at him. The guys laughed at my comment, catching onto my mocking tone, whereas Gerard was looking at me knowingly. I thought back to what happened earlier today and I knew he hadn't forgotten about that 'chat' he wanted us to have.
"If you wanted a serious answer though," I started, giving Gerard a pointed stare, hoping he'd give up if I co-operated more, "I'm a big music fan, I play some instruments and I'm a vocalist in a band with a couple of my friends in town."
"You're in a band?" Lindsay asked, looking at me in surprise.
"Yeah, I didn't tell you 'cause it never came up in conversation. I'll probably meet up with the guys in a few days to practise though." I said, referring to my friends: Ben, Nathan and Jamie.
"That's awesome!" Ray exclaimed, as if he wasn't a rock star who used to be in one of the biggest rock bands in the past decade. I raised an eyebrow at him in amusement.
"What instruments do you play?" Mikey asked.
"Well, I can sing and play guitar and I also know how to play the piano and violin." I said awkwardly. I wasn't used to people having so much interest in my life, I'm usually a fleeting thought in people's mind at best. I'm insignificant.
"Nice," Frank said, looking impressed by my self-proclaimed musical talent. For all they knew, I could be a pile of shit.
"You'll have to show us what you can do before we leave," Ray said, looking excited.
"Uhh.. I dunno about that..." I said nervously.
"Why not?" Gerard interrupted, "I heard you playing last night, you have an amazing voice. And did you write that song?"
"Uh thanks.. And yeah, I did."
"She's a great musician, she used to sing me to sleep every night when I was having bad nightmares." Zoe said, looking at me proudly.
Gerard crooked an eyebrow at me, looking surprised by my apparent existence of compassion.
"That's such a lovely thing to do," Lindsay said, "now boys dinner is ready if you want some."
All four of them shot up and made their way to the kitchen, claiming to be "a massive fan of Lindsay's casserole". Bandit and Zoe trailed behind them, with Bandit asking Zoe what her favourite colour is.
"Thank you," I said quietly to Lindsay, once everyone had left the room.
"Don't sweat it, I could see you were feeling uncomfortable," she smirked, "unfortunately they're men so they fail to see that."
I laughed with her, incredibly grateful for her saving me from anymore grilling about music.
"We should probably go and join them before they eat everything. They fail to understand the concept of portion sizes." She laughed again.
I followed her into the kitchen, secretly hoping that everyone would forget about that conversation, however the tight knots in my stomach foretold a different story.
I was starting to miss my old life, where I could do what I wanted without fear of upsetting anyone. I was starting to see that to fit in here, I would have to change my old ways and no longer rely on the wall I'd built to protect myself.
I looked down at my shaking hands and noticed my shallow breathing. The familiar feeling in my body came back, the itch I can't scratch. My mind was walking up the stairs and to the suitcase I had packed the other day, to find the bottle of vodka I had packed just in case. I didn't know how much longer I could hold on without the familiar burning sensation of the spirit coating my throat.
This wasn't good.
(A/N: Another late update. Sorry everyone. I had over half of it written the day after I published the other one but I've been so busy since, I've only just been able to update.
I hope you're all enjoying it so far though, now I have to go away and think up more plot :P)