danisnotahetero:
danisnotahetero: when phil goes to work with you
pjthedj: still cant believe you guys KISSED
danisnotahetero: i still cant believe how cute phil looks in his glasses
phil.lester: do your work
danisnotahetero: alright adios
~phil pj pm~
pjthedj: are you gay for dan
phil.lester: ?
pjthedj: ple ase
phil.lester: im confused right now okay?
pjthedj: no i get it
pjthedj: just got out of a terrible relationship
phil.lester: but if you're asking if i wanked to the thought of dan howell in bed
phil.lester: i absolutely did
pjthedj: of course
pjthedj: i used to think you were innocent philip
phil.lester: you thought wrong biNCH
~groupchat~
jackaboy: i love being pan
jackaboy: i love it so much
jackaboy: i love mark
jackaboy: i love signe
jackaboy: i love them both so much
jackaboy: im so grateful
jackaboy: i love you guys
phil.lester: stop being sappy its 10am
jackaboy: neVer
phil.lester: i love you too jack
phil.lester: you are very nice
markimoo: back off of my boy
jackaboy: ive melted
jackaboy: "MY BOY"
markimoo: its bc you are my boy
jackaboy: yesyyeysysyeyeysyyeyeysysyeyeydysyeyeydyysyeyeyysyeyee
phil.lester: jack had a seizure
thomassanders: i hate timezones this is all yur guys' fault
phil.lester: thomaS
phil.lester: hi how are you
thomassanders: its 7am
phil.lester: ): im sorry
thomassanders: ugh everything is fine
thomassanders: wait im gonna add my litty titty friend hes cool
phil.lester: oh god okay
averysadkid has joined the chat, invited by thomassanders
averysadkid: oh hello
averysadkid: im ash whats up
phil.lester: heyo im phil
averysadkid: what're your pronouns?
phil.lester: he/him, you?
averysadkid: they/them !
phil.lester: alright cool
dodiethebird: hi ash!! my pronouns are she/her, how are you?
averysadkid: lonely but im here so im better??
dodiethebird: awh
dodiethebird: we're gonna be friends now, love
averysadkid: !!okay!!
phil.lester: brotp
dodiethebird: cause we all know me and connie are otp (:
connielovesdodie: rt
averysadkid: are you two dating??!
dodiethebird: one day
connielovesdodie: that gave me cardiac arrest omg
connielovesdodie: one day as in one day or one day as in ONE DAY
dodiethebird: shush cutie
read by everyone
~later~
danisnotahetero: phil and i are cuddling after a long day at work mmm
pjthedj: dont cream in your pants, teenager
danisnotahetero: iM 26
pjthedj: shush
phil.lester: im so gay
averysadkid: is everybody dating??
danisnotahetero: oof no
danisnotahetero: pj, the Hetero™, and chris are dating and so are jack, the polyamorous boi, and mark. very diverse group here
danisnotahetero: except we're all white
danisnotahetero: not including mark
averysadkid: im hispanic!
danisnotahetero: see we're a diverse group
danisnotahetero: at least when it comes to sexuality
phil.lester: true
danisnotahetero: gay, bi, pan, ace, demi, heteroflexible, unlabeled
danisnotahetero: i love my children
phil.lester: im so gay i cant???
danisnotahetero: cant what???
danisnotahetero: oh
danisnotahetero: he
danisnotahetero: AHDNSKFHRNTNNFJAJDJFBSN
pjthedj: did he suck your pickle
phil.lester: i kissed his cheek calm down
danisnotahetero: i cannot speak
danisnotahetero: im so flustered and red
dodiethebird: *picture attachment*
dodiethebird: im a stalker but yall ship it so
pjthedj: heART PALPITATIONS
phil.lester: you guys are making me want to kiss him stop iT
markimoo: kiss him
phil.lester: why should i
jackaboy: because you want to???
phil.lester: fair point
pjthedj: hE DIDNT DENY IT
danisnotahetero: we get it pj you ship us
pjthedj: can you guys just get married already
phil.lester: ill marry him when i want
danisnotahetero: its literally been a week pj calm your tatas
pjthedj: just kiss already
phil.lester: we literally have
danisnotahetero: i think he wants us to fuck
dodiethebird: use a condom
danisnotahetero: i bottom sorry
phil.lester: retweet
crabbysticks: i love how you guys are joking around, but you can probably feel each other's hard ons bc you're cuddling
danisnotahetero: . . .
phil.lester: im enjoying it
danisnotahetero: perV
phil.lester: stop texting and talk to me regularly jesus
~in real life~
"its hard not to get a boner when i'm talking about fucking you, honestly," phil looks up at the ceiling. "as much as i love being friends, i'd absolutely love to see you on top of me, completely naked."
dan's breath hitches. "i hate how horny that made me," he mutters and nuzzles into phil's neck, avoiding the elephant in the room (more like the wood in the room).
"oh, be quiet, you'd love for me to touch you," phil teases, grazing dan's neck with his hand.
"unless you want me to cum in my pants, i'd suggest you stop touching my neck. you know it's se-" dan gets interrupted by phil planting a kiss on his neck.
"i know all your soft spots, all the places you like to be touched. i know all the places you want to be kissed. i know everything about you," phil whispers into dan's ear gruffly.
"you broke up with your boyfriend a week ago," dan says while phil plants kisses all over his cheek, jaw, neck, and collarbone. he struggles to continue his sentence. "i don't want to be your rebound."
phil sighs and faces dan."you aren't a rebound," phil says softly, caressing dan's cheek with his thumb, "but i respect what you're saying. maybe i shouldn't jump into anything too soon."
they both nod at each other, not moving from their position. "i hate the fact that you're incredibly attractive," dan huffs.
"you love it."
~groupchat~
phil.lester: who knew id get rejected by dan howell????
pjthedj: WHAT
danisnotahetero: i didnt reject yoU
danisnotahetero: im incredibly into you
danisnotahetero: i told you whY
phil.lester: widnfmsmdkwnndnwna
phil.lester: im gonna go hang out with dodie
danisnotahetero: oof
~dan pj pm~
pjthedj: what happened
danisnotahetero: he tried to like
danisnotahetero: im assuming have sex idk hes a horny dirty guy
pjthedj: ohmygod
danisnotahetero: and i told him i didnt want to be his rebound bc he JUST broke up with charlie a week ago
pjthedj: he hated charlie
danisnotahetero: i knOw
danisnotahetero: but their relatoonship was good at some point
pjthedj: but it went bad quickly
danisnotahetero: bleh
~groupchat~
averysadkid: hey guys
phil.lester: hey ash
averysadkid: i dont know you that well
averysadkid: let's be friends
phil.lester: im down, pm me
~ash phil pm~
averysadkid: heyO
phil.lester: hi
averysadkid: how are you?
phil.lester: im meh, a little heartbroken
phil.lester: you?
averysadkid: im lonely
averysadkid: why are you heartbroken?
phil.lester: dan turned me down
phil.lester: for good reason
phil.lester: but it hurt a little
averysadkid: awh ): im sorry
averysadkid: im sure he'll come to his senses one day
phil.lester: its less him not coming to his senses and more like i just got out of an abusive relationship
averysadkid: ah
averysadkid: that makes a lot of sense
averysadkid: do you want my advice?
phil.lester: sure
averysadkid: wait for him
averysadkid: he likes you a lotlotlot
phil.lester: i like him so much its like i cant breathe without him
phil.lester: im crying in dodies arms shes so nice?
averysadkid: dodie is really sweet awh
phil.lester: literally five hours ago i wasnt sure about my feelings for dan and now im crying over him wow
averysadkid: are you 100% over your ex
phil.lester: absolutely
phil.lester: i guess im not ready to be in a relationship or the commitment?
averysadkid: wait until you are
phil.lester: i will
phil.lester: thank you
averysadkid: always