Castiel woke to a feeling of loneliness and terror. He sighed against his pillow. It was 10:41 AM. It was a frozen December day, frost covering the windows and grass. Castiel loved cold weather. It was nice because he got to bundle up in a gigantic winter coat and listen to Dean tell him that he looked like a Marshmallow. He placed his fingers in the glass, his eyes tracing the outline of the frost. It must have frozen overnight. It had to have. The night before it was a simple 44 degrees Fahrenheit. Definitely not enough to freeze a window.
But then Castiel realized something.
"Dean?" He called.
No answer.
"Dean?" He began to search, looking through every crack and Crevice of the house. He checked the kitchen, the bathroom, under the bed, in the closet, out of the closet, on the stairwell, everywhere. Dean was gone. He as nowhere to be found. "Dean, this isn't funny. Where are you?" He called.
No answer.
Cas got worried then. He was terrified.
Castiel pulled out his phone, calling Dean. It rang, and rang, and rang, until...
Hello, this is Dean Winchester's cell. I can't come to the phone right now, probably because I'm out with Cassie-
Dean stop mentioning me in your voicemail.
Anyway leave a message after the beep.
Beep
"Dean, where the hell are you?" Castielbit his lip.
He threw his phone down, sighing. He opened the bathroom door, stripping and stepping into the shower. He placed his hands against the wall, his muscles tense with nervousness. It wasn't like Dean to leave Cas without consulting him. It was terribly out of character for him not to answer. Dean didn't live like that. His life was devoted to Castiel. It was a true worry that he left.
But what worried him the most was when he got a phone call from Sam.
He was putting in his jacket, ready to go head to the store to pick up some more peanut butter when his phone lit up. "Someone is calling." It squeaked over and over again until Castiel swiped the answer key.
"Hello?"
"Cas?" Sams voice was choked, terrified and frozen. He spoke so quickly. "Cashelptheyfounddeandeadinthelakeimsosorrywhatdoido?" Sam breathed in, terrified. Cas couldn't quite make out what he had said, but he knew it was bad.
"Slow down, Sam." Castiel felt the rush of terror creeping up his spine.
Because he never thought that he would hear the next thing out of Sam's mouth.
"Cas... they... they found Dean. He's dead," he cried. "A lady saw him floating in the lake... she called the cops. Cas, I don't know what to do."
Castiel dropped the phone.
This was a sick joke, right? It had to be some sort of sick joke. It had to be.
What the actual hell?
Sam was crying hysterically on the other side of the line. The sound pierced Castiel's heart like a thousand needles.
It's real.
Castiel shoved his coat on, running down the stairs and out of the door. He didn't step into the car. He didn't think to. He just ran. He ran so far, so fast, so sad. He ran to the lake. It was much larger than the pond in their meadow. It was almost frozen. The water was barely liquid, ice crystals forming in it. It was liquid enough to drown in. It was liquid enough to die in.
He looked up at the other side. An ambulance sat parked, and he could barely see the sobbing figure of Sam, Jessica, his wife, holding him close.
He sprinted.
At a point he almost slipped and fell into the freezing lake, but Castiel was too focused on beaming afraid of tumbling into the frozen water. "Where is he?" He whispered.
"Cas..." Sam looked up, shaking his head.
"Where is he, Sam?" Castiel's voice broke. It was the saddest thing. His voice was always strong and encouraging. It was perfect. Dean always loved the rasp, and he always loved hearing him talk. His voice was what intrigued Dean the most. But now his voice is barely there. It was stripped away from cold and terror.
Sam looked back.
Castiel shoved himself past paramedics that tried to keep him back. "He's my husband," Castiel cried. "Please." He shoved himself through.
And there he was.
Laying, frozen, on a gurney.
"Dean?" He whispered. "Dean, this isn't funny." Castiel grabbed his hand. It was frozen. "Dean!" He cried. "Wake up, Dean!" He screamed his throat raw. "Dean, please."
But he was gone.
"It was hypothermia," Alfie whispered to Castiel, turning him around. "An odd form of suicide, really." Alfie's voice cracked as well.
Castiel's heart shattered.
"Suicide?"
Alford handed him a frozen note, the lettering on it running down it. It's long since dried, and frozen, but he could make out the top of it saying, Castiel.
He opened it.
It was Bart's fault. He wanted to swim.
It was the most innocent thing he had heard in a while. "Oh, Dean. You should have woken me."
"I'm so sorry, Castiel," Alfie whispered.
--
"Dean didn't live a short life. I can tell you, because I lived most of it with him. It was agonizing long at times." Castiel couldn't keep his voice from raising pitch as he stared at Dean's casket. "The first thing I noticed about Dean was his eyes. Those beautiful green eyes. They were the most perfect thing I had ever seen. They were the first thing a four year old kid saw when he first met another. The second thing I noticed was how he was so different. His mind was so creative. He loved space. It was everything I wanted in a friend. Dean Winchester was the perfect best friend. He was the perfect boyfriend. He was the perfect husband. He was simply perfect." Castiel paused. "I know there's no such thing, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and in my eyes, the beauty that he carried... that was why I stuck with him." Castiel stared up for a moment. "Death... it's not the end. I know it isn't. It can't be. I just find it sort of ironic that my Astro is among the stars before his Angel was among the clouds." Castiel stepped down, waiting for Dean to hug him with his warm arms, but there wouldn't be any of that. Not anymore.
No more hugs.
No more kisses in the forehead at ten pm with the softest little, "Goodnight, Angel."
No more apple green eyes keeping him sane.
No more happiness.
Simply no more Dean.
No more anything.
Cas had nothing.
All because of that damn lake.
--a/n--
Did I not say you guys were gonna be mad?
There's an epilogue after this and it's gonna be super short.
And I am a firm believer of the idea of killing one and having to kill the other because I need my characters to be happy in the end.
At least a little.
Okay
I love you my Carcrashovercastyoungbloods
-Emily aka foblvr