A few days later, the summer was over. I know that technically, it ends in the second half of September but for me, the beginning of school means tragic loss of free time and summertime activities.
Most of people think of summer not as one of the seasons but as an intake of a breath that motivates you to keep living. It's the truth.
I don't know if it's the sun that draws a smile on my face or the freedom that comes, but I guarantee you that I gather strength within me from June to September.
Then, of course, college has to be a bitch and ruin it all.
I enter my literature class with a look on my face that simply says 'don't talk to me, don't come near me, don't even look at me'.
My brush barely went through my hair three times before I gave up getting ready. I didn't even put my every day make-up on, just added a little bit of mascara.
Although, I don't remember brushing my teeth. I probably have slept through that.
Theres an old short sleeved red T-shirt on me as well as a pair of jeans. I'm also a big fan of sneakers, wearing them everywhere I go.
I sit on my usual spot, not in the back and not that close to the teacher. Somewhere in the middle. Nobody is there because they all know who posseses it. Ha.
Just as I take out my books, professor walks in and gives us a small smile.
"Good morning, fellow students. Today, we are discussing what we will be doing in this semester. I'll give you a list of books we will analyze and hopefully, you'll write it down for your own good. "
I take out my notebook and look for a pen.
Oh crap. I forgot it. How could I?
I am such a failure in life.
Before I start to panic, a small red pen rolls over to my notebook with a note attached to it. I frown and open it.
You're lucky I have an extra pen. You can thank me later.
At the end of the note is a mocking face and a very pretty drawn R.
I look up to the person and find the blonde head two seats away. He nods towards me.
"I don't need your pen. ", I whisper loud enough for him to hear.
"Keep telling yourself that. "
"Seriously. "
"There's my number at the back. Thought I could use a friend around here. ", Ross whispers.
I turn the paper. "I am not the one you're looking for. I'm not even sure if I remembered this building correctly. "
"Come on, Laura. "
"You guys. Keep it down. I'm trying to keep up with the professor. ", the girl between us complains.
"I'm sorry but she's just obnoxious. ", Ross tells her.
"Yet, you wanna be my friend. ", I bite my tongue.
"You don't have to be flawless to be around me, you know. "
"Ms Marano. ", our professor speaks and my eyes look back to him. "Is there a problem with Mr Lynch? "
"No. Not at all. "
I suspect he awaits for my apology. Which never comes.
He sighs and proceeds.
Ross disappears after literature despite his need for someone to show him around. I thank god for some alone time because first day of school isn't really a good day for me.
When the lunch break comes, I head to Sugar&Spice, the restaurant where I usually meet my friends. Yes, I have friends.
I said so.
Those are people who I hang out with sometimes just to kill time. I am not emotionally attached. I have a bunch of them. People know me around here.
"Hi Laura. ", one girl greets me. I recognize her.
"Hey Lexi. What's up? ", I nod to acknowledge her presence.
"Everything. ", she grins.
My eyebrows raise and lips spread in a well-known smirk. "I smell sex. "
"You always get me! Gosh. "
"Who is it? "
"Ethan and I slept last night. ", she pops her gum as we walk. My mouth drops.
"Ethan as in, Ethan Chris? The guy from your English class whom you allegedly can't stand? ", I laugh.
Lexi covers her flaming cheeks with her palms. "He is so hot, you know?"
"So.. Are you two like an item now?"
"No. Well, we weren't supposed to be. I still can't stand him and we haven't discussed a thing that happened last night. "
"Was he good?"
"What do you mean, was he good? You slept with him two months ago!"
"Oh right... ", I scratch my chin as the faded memory gets its color back inside my mind. I really did that. Although it was short and not very memorable, so it doesn't really count. I didn't particularly like Ethan. I was just hungry for man's body. I truly believe that even a girl has the right to have casual sexual life in this society, and not just guys. It's a little weird that she had the same guy as me though. "Then he probably isn't since I couldn't even remember him. ", I tease and she swats at me.
"Hey. He's gorgeous and he can fuck, okay? Just because you weren't satisfied, doesn't mean I am not either. ", she huffs as we enter S&S.
"Alright. Alright. Geez. Looks like you've got an eye on him, not just his dick. "
"I don't like him. He is no boyfriend material. ", she flushes. I laugh.
"There's no such thing as 'boyfriend material'. "
"Lexi. ", I hear a voice coming from one of the tables. We both look up to see Ethan approaching. I push her towards him.
"Have fun. "
"Don't do this to me, Laura. ", she groans.
"I'm doing you a favor. And I don't do favors for many people, so just accept it."
"Hey. ", Ethan scratches the back of his neck as his eyes wander to my face.
I nod. "I was just leaving. "
My eyes scan the room and in that very moment, I notice Anna in the corner table where we always sit. She is looking at her phone, all alone, and drinking her coffee. I walk up to her.
"Sup. ", I drop my ass to the seat next to hers.
"Hey Laura. "
I rub my head and grab her cup, taking a few sips. "Thanks for that. "
"No problem. You look like a wreck. "
"I am. I wish this day would come to its end soon so I can just go to sleep. "
"I am actually pretty excited. "
"Why?"
"Having a date. ", she puts down her phone.
"With..? "
"Jasper. He promised to pick me up at eight tonight. Don't expect me at classes tomorrow. I'll probably be stuck at his the whole day. Besides, who goes to school after a date night?"
I narrow my eyes at her. "Anna. My every night is a 'date' night yet, I wake up in the morning and go. "
"And sleep through the half of your classes. What's the point?"
"Whatever. So I won't be expecting you at our dorm room tonight? ", I sigh and rest my head against the wooden table.
"No but you could invite someone over. "
"Like who? I don't think I even have it in me to have sex tonight. School kills the spirit. "
"Lauraa.. ", manly voice says my name in a weird accent but I know who it is so I don't look up. Nor open my almost closed eyes.
"Aren't you on your honeymoon? ", I babble, my voice betraying me. Words becoming heavier to speak.
"We came back yesterday. Glad to see you missed me. ", Colton sits on a chair beside mine.
I give him lazy thumbs up and see Kate making herself comfortable on his lap.
"How was it, Colton? Did you have a nice time, Colton? What places have you been to? Do you feel irritated that the school has started, bro? Thanks for taking interest in my life. ", he mocks me and rolls his eyes.
"Um.. You're married now, dude. You don't have a life anymore. ", Anna comments and I snort.
"That's not true. ", Kate huffs. "I happen to be an amazing wife, just so you know. "
"I think he's the one who comments on that. ", I smile.
"Whatever. Whose coffee is this? Can I have some?", Kate brings the cup to her lips before Anna can stop her.
Anna groans. "It was to keep me awake during this day. Thank you all. Why don't you take some too, married guy? Since everybody seems to put dibs on my coffee. "
"No, thanks. I'm good. "
"Did you see that?", Kate gasps and looks in a certain direction.
"Too lazy to look. ", I say.
"Lexi was dragged to the bathroom by a guy. "
"Oh. That's Ethan. They hooked up last night. "
"Looks like it's not a one night stand. ", Colton says.
"Where is your friend? ", I suddenly ask him.
"What friend?"
"The one with the blonde hair and a stupid smile. "
"Ross. ", he laughs. "I saw him talking to someone on his phone on campus an hour ago. We exchanged looks and he showed me not to interrupt. So I passed by. "
"Who was he talking to?", I finally lift my head from the table.
"If I knew, I would've mentioned their name. Besides, since when are you interested in someone else's business?", he raises a brow.
Right, that's me. Very uninterested person. I wouldn't lift a finger even if flames rose on the ground next to me, capturing me with a matter of life and death. I don't usually question about people, because they aren't the least bit intriguing to me, but I somehow feel like it today. Ross has this unexplainable weird personality that makes me wonder what he's going to do next. Strange.
"Am not. He just might get lost all by himself. He gave me his phone number but you call him for me to check up on him. ",I shrug.
"Alright.. ", Colton gives up on farther questioning and takes his phone out. Good for him.
I just don't want trouble on campus, in case it wasn't caused by me.
I once fought a guy. I beat him to dust and they almost got me expelled. Luckily, Colton has connections so they let me stay with a lot of conditions.
"Hey... Where are you? .. Lydia? What the fuck?", my cousin almost yells and my curiousity grows. "Yeah, yeah... We are all at Sugar&Spice, our usual place. Wanna join? .. Do you know the way? ... You turn right at the corner. Yes. Okay. Okay, see you. "
Then he hangs up and we stare at him like kids waiting for their candy.
"Trouble in paradise. Lydia crashed his car a little. Though, he thinks she did that on purpose. I don't know why he would think that, but I was just like... Ok. ", Colton shakes his head. "He'll be here in ten minutes. "
"Oh joy. ", my forehead falls on the table again.
"You told me to phone him. "
"Yeah. Not invite him to join us. "
"What's the big deal? Not like he is going to speak to you."
That's what you think.
"I just.. I think I'm gonna go to my dorm room. There is only sociology left and I really can't go through with that. ", I slowly rise to my feet. "My head is killing me. "
"When did you fall asleep last night? ", Colton asks concerned.
"Late. Or early. Depends how you look at it. Hah. See you guys tomorrow. ", I step away.
"Bye. ", Anna says.
"See you. ", Kate nods and Colton just shakes his head at me.
"Take a nap. Take care of yourself, Laura. Nobody can help unless you begin to care about your health. ", my cousin tells me.
"I don't care. ", I say and leave the restaurant in slow steps.
The day is bright and the sun is high, unlike my inner lack of enthusiasm.
Hurrying down the road, I crash into hard chest a few minutes later.
"Shit. ", my balance desides to play games with me and my head spins.
Two strong arms keep me from falling. I look up only to get a bigger headache.
"Hey, sexy thing. ", Joey smiles.
It's not a genuine smile. It's more like a 'you're close to me and I like it' grin. He's a little obnoxious and I don't think I want to be with him any longer. You officially bored me to death, Jo. Sorry.
"Joey. What a coincidence.. ", I step away and he follows closer again.
"Where are you going?", he asks.
"Just to my dorm room. I don't feel so good. "
"I could walk you there. "
"I don't think I would like that. ", I give him an obvious fake grin. He ignores it.
"Oh you would, trust me. "
"I don't trust. "
He grabs my arm gently. "Come on. Let's have some fun. I have toys at my place if you want to go there. "
"I don't like sex toys. Release my arm. "
He doesn't let go and starts dragging me. I'd kick him in his balls if I wasn't feeling like a crap.
"Then it's your dorm, sugar. I know you'll like it. Stop resisting me. "
"Leave me the fuck alone! ", I yell and yank my hand from his grasp.
He stops walking and looks at me. "What's the problem? "
"I don't do one guy more than once. ", I lie. I have had hookups that lasted a few weeks but they still meant nothing.
Joey is too clingy and too revolting to me. He is lucky I didn't cut off his balls when I had the chance.
"Oh come on. You loved it with me. "
That's when I notice blonde hair a few feet away. It's my only chance to get away. The old friend I don't really want to rekindle my relationship with, for whatever inner conflicts that are stopping me. He doesn't see me at the moment but I speed up towards him.
"Ross! Hey. What's up? Wanna go to my dorm now, you know, because we've planned it for a while?", I give him a dead glare. Ross looks caught off guard but straightens his back.
"What the..", he looks at angry Joey approaching us. "Oh. "
The smirk on Ross' face becomes easily seen and I thank god he got the message.
"Yeah. Let's go. "
"Laura, wait. ", Joey rushes up to me. "One more time. "
Ross glares at him. If looks could kill, crazy Joey would be lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood.
"She's with me. Get lost. "
"I..."
"Get. Lost. ", Ross threatens. Joey steps away and looks at me in anticipation. Then him. Then he walks away.
I breathe out. "Thank goodness you were here. Now I can finally go. "
"Oh you'll tell me all about this on the way to your dorm room. ", he smiles.
"What?", I look at him in disbelief.
"You just invited me, remember?", his smirk reappears.
I groan and begin to rush away. I hear footsteps behind me. Ross follows.
"What do you want? Don't you have a girlfriend to bother?", I snap, annoyed with the whole scene with Joey.
"We kinda broke up. ", he shrugs. I keep walking in front of him.
"I think you'll be fine without her. Anyhow, I don't feel like hanging out with anyone today. "
"I just wanted to keep you company. "
"You have Colton, Kate and Anna at S&S. That's where you headed, remember?"
"Yeah but I was gonna talk to you. I haven't hung out with you in ages. "
"What about? "
"About.. ", he thinks for a moment. "The weather? "
I laugh and shake my head. "Is that all?"
"No. Just wanted to hang out. "
"Why?", I groan. "Why do you want to hang out with me out of all these people on the campus? I don't want to hang out. I don't like new people. ", his finger gently picks me, attempting to shut me up.
"You're just fun to be around. "
"I am not fun. ", I mumble. "I hate everyone. "
"Everyone is a group of people. You could hate the group but I'm sure you could like individuals. Why wouldn't you give me a chance? ", he lets go finally.
"I was quite drunk when you came up to me. ", I protest.
"Doesn't matter. We are childhood friends after all. "
"Here's what matters. ",I take in a sharp breath and look him in the eyes. "I just wanna have a few hours of sleep without people constantly getting on my nerves. My head hurts and I can't stand making more conversations today. We connected for one event because I had nobody else there to talk to. That's it. I don't particularly need to hang around you, despite our childhood days. "
His look hardens and he looks like he mentally gave up. I start getting chills from his cold gaze but keep looking at him. I am not gonna look away. I am not weak. I don't know what guilt is.
"Fine. As you please. Colton told me you were difficult to handle. Now I see it. See you at campus. ", he glares once again and walks away, seeming quite sad. I almost want to pat his head and console him.
"You obviously should have listened to him. ",I yell after him, frustrated from this whole scene.
"I will from now on. "
"Good for you!"
"It is!"
"Fine!"
"Why are you still arguing? ", he shouts without turning to look at me.
"I don't fucking know! ", I shout once again and notice an old lady looking at me like I was crazy.
I just look away and walk in the opposite direction from the blonde. My head throbs. I may have overreacted, but I was really tired. Deep inside me, a sense of fear of a new unknown relationship rises. Ross is interesting and makes me feel nice, and I don't like that because it's not my usual comfort zone. I drove him away because, for the first time, I felt as if I would enter our friendship with great ease, which was not the case with anyone else. Why would he be any different? Unless it's a matter of being friends since we were little. I'm not good at this.
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