The day went by slowly and I was thankful that the lunch with Briana happened. She's always a breath of fresh air. I attended meetings the whole afternoon, and god, I couldn't wait for the day to be over. I would like to take a long hot bath later at home while sipping on a glass of Moscato.
A soft knock distracted me from my thoughts.
"Come in."
"Ms. Alfonso," it was Helene. "It's Arthur's birthday, remember our messenger? The staff prepared some treats."
"I wish you had reminded me earlier so I can pick up a gift for him. The old man's a great person, Helene. I will just make a quick call and then I will come by the pantry."
"I'm sorry, Ms. Alfonso. It slipped my mind because of your hectic schedule."
"It's cool, Helene. You could come with me tomorrow to pick up something for Arthur."
I think I saw Helene smirk at me at what I had said, but I just dismissed the thought. I have to admit, Helene is really something. She takes every chance she could get just to be with me. Even on the days when I am not in the speaking mood (which happens a lot, so Cress says). Whatever Helene does, she's just not the kind I would fuck over. She became my secretary when I was promoted as one of the junior vice presidents of the company. She's a great secretary and I would never risk losing a trusted person.
As soon as Helene left my line of sight, I dialed my mother's number.
"Mom? How are you?" I smiled hearing her voice. She's a little surprised, because it is not every day that I call her. "I just want to say that I missed you. The day's too long and—oh, it's Arthur's birthday."
"Tell the old man that I missed the early morning talks with him. Also, do not forget to thank him for his service."
"Yes, Mom. I gotta go now; the staff prepared a small dinner party for him. You will hear from me soon, Mom. Do not forget your meds, okay? Love you."
'*'*''*'*'
The dinner party was great. The staff was happy to see me and Cress. Their laughter at every joke Cress told them were like sweet refreshments given to the athletes after a tiring run. Some of the staff thanked me for being approachable and down-to-earth. If they only know how much happiness I feel whenever I am surrounded by happy people, they wouldn't tell me that. I used to distance myself from people maybe because of the bitterness I feel toward life. But when I see happy people, like them, I could feel their positive energies vibrating around the place, and it is such a good feeling.
Now, being stretched in my tub with wine in hand, I feel so relaxed. I could stay here all night. I took another sip from my glass and put it down beside the tub. A few moments later and I fell asleep.
'*'*''*'*'
I LOOKED at the frail hands on top of my right hand. These hands look small and fragile. These hands feel comforting and loving. We were sitting on one of the benches in the public park near the university we were attending. That time, she was taking up nursing, while I was taking up business management.
"Fatima, what are you stressing about?"
"Mom found out about us." She spoke with weak voice. It seemed as if she will break down any moment now. I held her hands tighter using my own.
"What did she say?" I was hoping for a positive thing even if Fatima looks really down.
"She said I should leave you."
I cannot speak. I don't know what to say so I just sat there waiting for her to finish talking.
"She told me that she would disown me if I choose you. You know I can't leave them, right?"
I nodded slowly. I know how this will end.
"Of course, family is all. I understand," was all I said. My grip loosens. Bitch, what are you saying? It is breaking you inside. Cry in front of her. Ask her not to leave you.
"Thank you for everything, Fatima. Good-bye." With that, I stood up and left Fatima. I wanted to run away from her, but I also want to cling to her and lock her in an embrace, and maybe ask her to reconsider her decision. I never looked back because I didn't want her to see my tears flowing. I also didn't want to know whether she's crying or not for fear of breaking my heart more.
That night, I asked Mom to send me to the United States. I told her I would finish my studies there. In truth, I just wanted to get away, stay away from pain, and forget Fatima.
A week after and I received a call from Mom telling me that Fatima was found lifeless in a hotel room. I could feel the world crumbling beneath my feet that day. Everything became dark and I lost consciousness.
When I opened my eyes, I see Fatima smiling down at me. My head was on her lap and we were at the park. This time, we were situated on a picnic cloth near the flower bushes.
"You fell asleep while I was singing you songs and you were reading that novel," she said sweetly.
I just smiled and gave her lips a peck.
"I shouldn't have fallen asleep on our first anniversary. I apologize, my love."
"Tala, no. You gave me a wonderful gift."
"What gift are you talking about?"
"Seeing you sleep peacefully is a wonderful gift, Tala. You look even more angelic. In the months that we spent together, it is only now that I have seen you sleeping. And it amazed me."
"Oh, stop right now; I'm blushing."
But instead of stopping, she told me how beautiful my eye lashes were. She pointed out that I scrunch up my nose when she moves, and how it is too cute for her. I couldn't make her stop talking so I just reached my hand up to pull her face down. The moment our lips touched was the same moment I realized that she would be my forever. I closed my eyes to give way to the little butterflies in my stomach. But the next time I opened my eyes, all I see was horror.
Fatima was laying down her bed. She looked peaceful. Too peaceful for my liking. On the bed beside her was an empty bottle of sleeping pills. I ran toward her and tried to wake her up but all I can feel is her cold body. Life had left her body hours ago. When I looked to my right, angry and sorrowful faces of Fatima's parents welcomed me. They were speaking, shouting rather, about how Fatima's death was my fault. The phone beside Fatima's bed rang. When I answered it, all I could hear were my mother's voice telling me that Fatima committed suicide.
I felt the room becoming smaller; the sobs, louder; and the lights, dimmer. I was drowning in my own tears. My head was spinning. I couldn't take it anymore. I was alone in the room with Fatima. No, her empty, lifeless body was in front of me. And my breathing is becoming shallow.
"Good-bye, Tala." That voice! It belonged to my sweet Fatima.
'*'*''*'*'
"TALA! Wake up!" a few more shakes and I was awake. Everything was just a bad dream. A mixture of good and bad, actually. A hellish nightmare.
"C-Cress? What are you doing here?" I was startled to see my best friend inside my bathroom. I immediately covered my nakedness with my hands. But then, all I heard was Cressida chuckling.
"Tala, you don't have to do that. You know I've seen lots of women's bodies. And let me tell you, theirs are better than yours!"
I playfully smacked her shoulder. "What are you doing here?"
"I thought of asking you if I can sleep here. My maid called me and said that Jamie was waiting inside the house. You know, I knocked outside your unit for a hundred times but no one answered. So, you know... the spare key."
"Jaime's really a pain in the ass. Maybe you should move out of the house."
I was surprised when Cressida raised her hand. The next thing I knew, she was wiping my face.
"Were you crying? In the tub?" worry was once again written on her face. "Put on some clothes and let's talk about it. I'll be in the kitchen."
She was about to go out of the bathroom when I spoke.
"I feel like a child whenever you use that tone on me."
Cress smiled and said, "Oh, I wouldn't want a child like you."
I immediately wrapped myself using my robe. Then, I walked to my closet and pulled a huge shirt that stops in the middle of my thighs. I usually sleep naked, but since Cress was here, I had no choice but to put on some clothes.
I told Cress about the dream. She wrapped me in her arms and patted my back.
"Tala, remember what I always tell you; her death is not your fault. You've been through this. But then, lately I noticed that your mind often wanders to Fatima."
"I don't know. Since I met Briana, Fatima has been on my mind. Briana reminds me so much of . The way she talks, the way she uses the utensils, the way she fixes her hair and her eyeglasses, and even the way she dresses; they have so much similarities. She's like a reincarnation of Fatima. Their eyes are the same. Except that Fatima's eyes held so much life."
"Stop comparing them, Tala. Fatima is the past, and maybe Briana can be your future. Maybe you just have a 'type'. What worries me too much is that you live here alone. Who knows what happened to you if I didn't barge inside your house!"
I just smiled and thanked her. She really is a very good friend.
With that, we ended the conversation and went to sleep. Cress used the guest room. I suggested that she moved in with me. She could do that, or maybe she could leave some of her things here in cases like this.
Thelast thing I can remember before falling to sleep was Fatima'sfaint voice, saying "I missed you, Tala."
*How are you, lovelies? Here's another chapter for all of you. :) Enjoy!