When I was younger, I used to be afraid of heights.
I don't know where it came from or how it left; one day I couldn't go on rollercoasters before sobbing when I got off and the next I enjoyed them. I went from my stomach jumping when I looked out of windows in tall buildings to actually enjoying the view.
At that moment, standing on the balcony with my hands tightly gripping the railing, I got a quick flashback to all those times before. And I just still couldn't believe how much I'd changed.
"Louis loved this place," said Liam. "It was the first one he got after the X Factor. I used to stay here with him all the time instead of getting my own place."
I looked over at him. He was wearing a black hoodie with the Adidas logo splayed across it and loose black sweatpants. His gaze never left the city below him, his words spilled out of his mouth uncontrollably; I watched his Adam's apple bob as he spoke.
"Lou is one of my best friends. Actually, he is my best friend. Of course, I love all the boys, but we just have a history and a connection that's not like what we have with the others. And he's always been one to give me advice. He was the one that suggested I come here and try to fix everything."
I stayed silent.
"Sometimes I say things I don't mean, Carter." He paused. "Which is actually a pretty shitty excuse considering that I've said a lot of things to you. I've done a lot of things I shouldn't have done. And you're right. You should be able to look out for yourself for once, forever."
He finally looked over to me. "My career isn't that important. Because let's face it," he chuckled, "You pretty much are it. You've given us our number ones. And you gave us a chance. Twice." He licked his lips. "Why would I even consider thinking more of my career than I do you?"
I avoided his eye contact. Instead, I set my gaze on a passing plane in the sky. I stuffed my hands in my jacket pockets. "Have you ever thought about...what if I hadn't taken your offer in the first place? If you hadn't admitted at the hospital to stealing my song? If I hadn't written it in the first place?"
"Things would be a hell of a lot different," he mused.
I nodded. "They would. And trust me, Liam, I want to hate you. I've wanted to hate you since the very beginning."
"Then why don't you?"
"Because I can't." I began rocking back and forth on my heels. "How many times have we kissed? Twice? Two times you've made me change my mind about you. Did you know I admitted to myself that I liked you the day we were baking?"
Liam's head snapped up. "You did?"
"Did you know that today, I moved out of my house because my sister is the one who told the media outlets about everything?" I nodded once. "You didn't."
He frowned, "Carter..." He grabbed my hand and made me turn around so we were face to face. I watched his movements as he cupped my face and tilted my head upwards. We locked eyes. "Yes, I didn't know. But what I do know is that I've liked you from the very beginning."
Our foreheads touched. "I liked the mysterious girl behind the hospital curtain. I liked the talented girl who wrote music that touched me. I liked the family-oriented girl. And I like this strong, independent woman that is standing in front of me right now."
"Liam..." I slowly said. I wanted to move, but I didn't. I rested my hands on his shoulders. "Are you sure?"
"Of course, I'm sure."
"Then in that case..." I removed myself from his hold but did not stop looking at him. "I guess it's safe to say that I feel the same. Because although we've been through a lot together, I can't imagine going through it with anyone else."
He laughed, "Oh yeah, imagine if Austin Mahone had stolen your song. Or Fifth Harmony."
I let out a quick laugh but it soon faded. "Liam," I said again.
He looked at me. "Yes?"
"Mixing work and...this, it's not a good idea. You're leaving on a tour so soon. I'll be busy writing songs for a lot of other people. When will we ever see each other?" I shook my head. "There's no more time spent at the studio together."
"You won't be touring with us anymore...that's six months all over the world."
"A lot can happen in six months." I chewed on my lip, looking away from him. "Let's make a deal."
Liam raised an eyebrow, signaling for me to continue.
"If after the six months, neither of us have been spotted seeing new people, and if you come back from your tour and there's still something going on between us...then we'll try. We'll get together."
"Six months." Liam huffed. "That's a long time."
"I need your trust," I responded. "If this is real, then time won't matter. We can wait."
"Alright," he nodded, finally agreeing. "Alright."
I was slightly nervous, but I knew that I'd made the right decision. I wasn't ready to start anything with Liam right then; it was too risky and I had to know if he really believed that everything wasn't all about his career. Six months would be the time that I'd live my life free of anything relating to One Direction, I could continue on without burden. And then, when my time was up, I'd sit back and see if he had kept his end of the bargain.
"Okay, now that we've talked," I stepped back. "There's something I need your help with."
"Sure, anything."
I left his side and opened the glass doors that lead back inside the penthouse. Louis was there, fully engrossed in a reality TV show. He looked over when the two of us walked inside; we were outside fully exposed to his watchful eyes so I knew he was aware that we hadn't returned a couple.
"Everything okay?" he said.
"Yeah, perfect." I reached for one my bags and unzipped it, pulling out my laptop. "It's high time we clear things up. How about a live stream? To keep it real."
"Sounds great," said Liam.
I typed in the link to the streaming website and then sent it to my followers on my social networks. Before long, the number of people watching was increasing by the thousands.
I adjusted the laptop on the table in front of me. "Hey guys," I called, straightening up. "It's Carter, here with these losers, Louis and Liam."
The two guys waved to the camera.
"So," I clapped, "It's time for me to clear things up. As you guys may know, there have been a lot of things circulating around about me and the band."
"Carter is a great person," said Louis. "The whole band is privileged to have her. We would never put her in such a compromising situation ourselves."
I smiled, "The media likes to twist things around a lot." I sighed. "My dad was in the hospital for some months stuck in a coma. I needed money to help him, and I got the most life-changing job as a songwriter with some guys and it's not something I regret. But how I got that job and ended up here right now is a story for another day."
"A long one," Liam chimed.
"But right now, I wanted to tell you all that there are no hard feelings." I placed my arm around Liam's neck and pulled him closer to me, brushing my nose against his face. The comments began exploding. "Liam and I are in a good place, and we will always support each other." I let go and waved my hand towards Louis. "And, Louis is an okay friend or whatever."
"Oh, shut up," Louis laughed. He leaned closer to the camera and covered his mouth with his hand. "Cariam isn't dead, guys. It's just sleeping," he said in a harsh whisper, pretending we couldn't hear him.
I rolled my eyes. "Alright. And as for Harry, Zayn, and Niall, three of the greatest guys I've ever had the pleasure to get to know, I have not forgotten you. I wish you luck on this stadium tour and hope you guys have the greatest time of your lives."
"And Carter will stay here and continue to write more hits for all kinds of stars," Liam confirmed. "But she won't get anyone better than us."
"Oh, most definitely not." Louis nodded his head.
"Okay, calm down people. You're not that great." I waved to the camera. "So, this is our goodbye! From me, who isn't a gold digger, Liam, who isn't a complete asshole, and Louis, who honestly just sucks."
Liam turned his face to look at me at the same time that I did him. His eyes were sparkling, and he had the widest grin plastered on his face. I smiled back at him but we were interrupted by Louis' hand waving in front of our faces.
"Hello? Still live here."
"Oh, right." I quickly snapped out of it. "Time for us to go. See you, guys."
I ended the live stream and pushed my laptop shut.
A/N next chapter is the epilogue sbdbkbdpaNdp
i wanted to write this chapter as well as possible so it took me a lot of pondering bc i wanted to get everything right. did you pick up everything i was laying down? ik a lot of you wanted carter and louis but this story is about carter and liam so i hope i helped you like them together again :)
drop a vote/comment if youre also not ready for the end of this story! i'll be replying to your comments x