'Where was she? It had been 3 days since the reopening of the school and 13 days to the day he had last met her but there was no sign of her.' Manik was wondering, as he stood bending over the railing in his balcony. He often came here, whenever he had a confession to make, a question to ask, a sorrow to share or he was simply tired. He came here, because underneath the endless starry sky, he found solace. He didn't have to put up a pretense here, he didn't have to wear a mask here, the mask of being strong, indifferent and rude. He could bare his soul here and not worry about being judged or being rejected.
The day they were announcing the results, and they declared her name as the topper for class XI science, he had been so happy and so proud of himself. For the first time ever, he had actually been able to be there for her. HE had actually held her hand through darkness. No, this wasn't the first time, but perhaps the only time she knew.
He was eagerly waiting to see her there, on the stage. He wanted to see her smile again, the same smile that had always managed to penetrate through his layers and knock right at the door of his heart, but was lost now. But she hadn't turned up. The announcer had moved on to the runner up after calling out her name thrice. He was least interested in going up there, and perhaps wouldn't have had his friends not pushed him.
Why wasn't she coming to school? Where was she, was she ok? So many times he had driven past her house and every time he had seen her lights switched off. He had made Dhruv call her, but both her landline and her mobile had been switched off.
He heard people gossip about her.. that she might have dropped out or left town or may be done something drastic. He wanted to smack their faces and throw them out but he feared what if they were right, what if she had indeed left. What if he would never see her again.
Or was it because of the way he had thrown her note on the last day of the exam. Was she punishing him? Punishing an already tormented soul? Why did she have to extend her hand again and again, why couldn't she just let him help her without getting attached? Why couldn't she understand that he was toxic for her, that all he could ever do was to bring her bad luck, pain and tears.
That's what he had done two months ago..and the memories tumbled out of the pandora's box.
************************
FLASHBACK :: TWO MONTHS AGO
"This song is different yaar, from our style, it sway too soft" Mukti exclaimed.
"So what, it doesn't always have to be the same style. Sometimes you need to shock your audience." he had replied, not looking directly into her eyes.
"Buddy you are right, and besides its awesome. How did you manage to write such beautiful lyrics" Dhruv was his most loyal friend, who never questioned his intentions, always supported him in anything and everything he did. No no.. He wasn't just a friend, he was his brother...brother from another mother. Sometimes Manik wished he had been born to Dhruv's mother because his own was the biggest curse of his life. He could do anything for Dhruv. Anything...
"Manik can do anything.. Don't you know he is a star.." Alya mockingly punched on his arm. She was unabashed in showing her affection for him openly, eventhough she knew Manik didn't reciprocate. He was an awesome friend but every time it came to take the next step, Manik just froze.
Cabir was watching the whole scene play. One look at him and Manik knew, nothing could escape his hawk eyes...not even the fact that he had written this song for her..Nandini...because the entire class knew she loved fireflies. They exchanged glances and even though Cabir wasn't too happy about it, Manik knew his secret was safe with him.
****
"Oye...oye..tapri...itni speed se kahan jaa rahi ho... crash landing ho jayegi." That's what he always did..tease the poor girl.
"Tumhare paas parachute hai kya?" came her instant reply.
"Nahi, kyun?"
"I thought tum mujhe rescue karne aye ho.... Par ab lagta hai yeh tumhara usual agenda less bakwas hai.. So whats new today?"
"Watch out, there's a surprise...FOR YOU" The moment he uttered it, her face lit up.
That's how it had always been between them. He teasing her and she retorting back. Anybody who saw them would think they were the worst of enemies but in Manik's secret world, this was just a way, perhaps the only way of showing affection. He liked teasing her, something he did only with her. The mock anger on her face, the cheeks gone red, the hint of annoyance on her raised eyebrows, her cute little sniffing nose, he absolutely loved it. And somewhere he felt she understood his language for she too reciprocated in a way that she didn't for anyone else. She hardly ever replied to harsh comments, but with him, she had to match word by word, sarcasm by sarcasm, even silence by silence.
"Will wait...with baited breath.." She winked.
****
She was there..right at at the front when he took position. It was the annual day of the school and theirs was the last performance of the night before the chairman's speech. He had told her to look out for this one and he would make sure it would really be worth it. After all he had spent 3 nights writing and composing this song...
The lights faded out as the spotlights fell on each of them. His fingers took to the strings, his voice to the mike and magic began.
I fell in love next to you
Burning fires in this room
It just fits, light and smooth
Like my feet in my shoes
Little one, lie with me
Sew you heart to my sleeve
We'll stay quiet underneath
Shooting stars if it helps you sleep
And hold me tight, don't let me breathe
Feeling like you won't believe
There's a firefly loose tonight
Better catch it before it burns this place down
And I lie if I don't feel so right
But the world looks better through your eyes
Teach my skin those new tricks
Warm me up with your lips
Heart to heart, melt me down
It's too cold in this town
Close your eyes, lean on me
Face to mouth, lips to cheek
Feeling numb in my feet
You're the one
To help me get to sleep
And hold me tight, don't let me breathe
Feeling like you won't believe
It's only been one night of love
And maybe that is not enough
Hold me tight, don't let me breathe
Feeling like you won't believe
There's a firefly loose tonight
Better catch it before it burns this place down
And I lie if I don't feel so right
But the world looks better through your eyes
In that auditorium, there were perhaps a 1000 odd people, but his eyes were hooked on to that one face which was beaming with unadulterated joy. He hoped, she understood that this was the closest he could go to confessing his love for her..and felt she did. For those few moments, which he wanted to stretch till eternity, no one or nothing mattered. The crowd melted away, leaving just the two of them, their hearts speaking in silence.