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I'm What You're Missing: 2 | Face to Face
| Ross Lynch |
June 17th, 2022:
Does it make me pathetic if I admit I've missed Laura the most and I was too scared to reach out to her in fear of getting rejected? Or does that make me an idiot? Because honestly, I'm not quite sure anymore. Since Monday, when I ran into Raini and she sent the text, I haven't been able to get Laura off my mind. She's always on my mind, usually in the back and not so... not so constant.
It seams like everything I see reminds me of her. This morning, on my jog, I saw a petite brunette petting her yellow lab. Instantly, I thought of Laura and her dog she had when we were best friends; Velvet. Yesterday, I saw some girl eating a gogurt, I instantly smiled to myself and one thing was in my mind; LAURA MARIE MARANO.
I know I use to have a crush on her. Hell, I did for three years until I finally liked Courtney. But I knew the feelings I had towards Laura was still stored up somewhere when I was with Courtney. Maybe that's why her and I decided to end things before we both did something we regretted, like cheating. But that doesn't mean I like her now, right?
Honestly, my apartment hasn't felt this empty in years. Sure, I've only lived here for three or four years now, but I've always loved the peace and quiet. I get to write a lot more, and I'm rarely home when we're writing music. I always crash at Rocky's almost every night. But now? It all seams so... big, I guess. It's two bedrooms-kinda, my bedrooms downstairs but a huge open space is upstairs. I like the view I get outside on the balcony, but it doesn't feel like home nowadays.
I don't know what to think anymore. And tonight I'm suppose to hang out with the Austin and Ally cast again, just the four of us. What if my feelings for Laura comes back again? What am I suppose to do then? God, I need to get my fucking life together again. At least my hair is cut. My mom finally convinced me to cut it back to how it was when I was filming Status Update. Apparently my "blonde disaster" reached its max length at a little passed my shoulders.
Hopefully tonight goes well...
Sighing, I tuck my journal in my back pocket of my blue ripped jeans and pour another cup of coffee. Ryland said he'd be stopping by for a little before I have to leave for Raini's. He claimed he wants to talk through some things. I honestly have no idea what he needs.
"Ross!" And there he is.
"What's up, Ry?!" I shout, making my way to the front door. He grins widely and points to my black couch. Before I could stop him, he makes his way to the couch and plops down, muting the rerun of an ice hockey game I have playing on the tv.
"You're seeing Laura tonight for sure, right?" He asks. Nodding slowly, I sip on some more of my coffee. "Hmm." I move my black beanie forward more and eye him carefully. He knew about my small crush on her back in the day. "Do you think you'll fall back in love with her?" He asks. Furrowing my eyebrows, I set my coffee cup on the coffee table and lean back against the couch.
"I was never in love with her, Ryland." Was the only thing I could think of to say. He rolls his eyes in disbelief before turning his body towards me, getting serious.
"Liking Laura for three years is impossible. You loved her, Ross. You had to of." Shrugging my shoulders, I make a reach for the remote, but Ryland slaps my hand away.
"Ow, Ryland!" I mutter.
"Ross, I'm being fucking serious. You loved her. And seeing her tonight might bring everything back! Do you not remember your mute phase after you and Courtney ended things? We all thought you were gonna hurt yourself!" You've got to be kidding me...
"Ryland, I wasn't mute. And I wasn't upset about the Courtney thing. I didn't even love her anymore." His eyes were still wide, something he does when he's getting frustrated. Jesus fucking Christ, Ryland.
"Ross Shor Lynch, I fucking KNOW THAT!" Jumping at his outburst, he closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. "Ross, all I'm trying to say is be careful. This is Laura-"
"I know." I butt in. "I'll be careful." I whisper, playing with my fingers. Lifting up the sleeve of my black crew neck, I quickly jump up. "I've gotta go. Lock up when you leave please!" I shout, running to grab my keys.
| Laura Marano |
To say I'm nervous is an understatement. I'm freaking the fuck out. First off, my hair was not cooperating so I had to throw it up in a messy bun. Then, my outfit, a simple tank top and light jean shorts, didn't go good with any eyeshadow, so I left if with mascara and eyeliner. Plus, my feet are sore from a photo shoot yesterday, so I stuck with sandals. And to top it all off, I'm seeing Ross today.
Ross.
Jesus, he's been in my mind for years. Like, yesterday, I saw a blonde guy skateboarding and I instantly thought of him. Last weekend, I saw a blonde guy playing guitar at the beach, I actually thought it was him until I approached the guy. The list goes on.
"Laura! Valerie wants you to say bye." Sighing, I walk to the living room where my sister had her and her daughter, so my niece. Her husband was at work. Sadly, I'm in between moving, as in I couldn't take the couple in my building who had sex every night then broke out into a screaming/throwing things fights in the morning. And as of now, no apartment seamed good.
"Hey, Val." I say happily. She runs over to me and hugs my legs. For being four, she's darn effing cute.
"Hey, Val, why don't you go upstairs and help your brother down the stairs." My nephew, Cameron, is two now, and he's took a nap since he was super cranky. Val nods with a smile and books it to the stairs. "How you holding up, Laur?" Vanessa asks, patting the seat beside her. Sighing, I gladly take the seat and close my eyes.
"Good, for now." I mumble. "I'm just nervous is all. I haven't seen any of them is so long, Ness. What if they don't even like me anymore? What if he-they, realizes that I'm to annoying and idiotic to be my friend again." I say. She just chuckles and crosses her legs.
"Is this about Ross?" She asks. Nodding, I put my head down. "About your friendship or about your ginormous crush you had on him for years."
"Both." I whisper.
"Come on, tell me." Sighing for the umpteenth time, I look her straight in the eye.
"I shouldn't like him anymore. The first three years of Austin and Ally were so long ago, Nessa. And when I finally saw him as my best friend again, not some guy I had a crush on, Andrew was already saying he loved me, which I instantly felt guilty for. But then Ross found Courtney, so I guess I didn't feel so guilty anymore. I-I don't know. I'm afraid he'll see me and just... leave." Just then, a screaming Cameron ran to Vanessa.
"He won't, I promise. But please, be careful. I don't want you falling back in love with him without him doing the same." She looks at the clock, then back at me. "You should probably leave now." She says quietly.
"Alright." I whisper, standing up. "Bye, kiddos. I'll be coming home late. Give me hugs?" I ask. They both run up to me so I kneel quickly, taking the hug head on. "If I end up staying with Raini or something, I'll let you know." I say quietly. Vanessa just nods and gives me a small smile.
The drive to Raini's took awhile, maybe forty, forty-five minutes. What scared me even more? The fact that three cars were already parked outside her two story giant house. She mentioned that her fiancé was gone, which also meant I was the last one to show up. I can't believe I'm shaking... I reach for my purse and grab my phone, walk to the front porch, and knock three times. I was so relieved to see Raini.
"Laura!" She says, really loudly. I squeal, probably louder than her yell, and hug her super tightly.
"Oh my goodness gracious I missed you so much!" I say, finally pulling away. "You look amazing, Raini!" She's lost weight, you can tell. But she's still the same Raini she was six years ago when I last saw her.
"Oh my god, you do too!" Smiling widely, she motions me inside. "So, the boys are in the kitchen munching on some food and I thought that maybe we could all take a photo soon and tweet it out to the fans. None of us have mentioned the get together yet so it'll be sorta like a surprise." Nodding, I follow her throw a hallway.
"I love your house." I say, trying to be polite.
"Thanks. Me and Antonio just redecorated." She stops me immediately. "Before I forget, will you be one of my bridesmaids?" My eyes widen instantly.
"Oh my gosh, YES!" I shout, jumping up and down. I pull her back into a giant hug. "You've made my day, Raini." She giggles and drags me to the kitchen. For the first time in forever, I see my blonde and ginger friend. Calum was dressed in dark blue jeans and a grey sweater while Ross was dressed in blue ripped jeans, a black crew neck, and a black beanie. It's so hot outside how are they surviving?
"Laura!" Calum says, rushing over to me to give me a giant hug. Smiling, I hug him back tightly. My eyes catch Ross', the sparkle is still there, yet he didn't have a smile. Finally, Calum pulls away.
"I missed you!" I say, looking up at Calum. "How's Clementine?" I ask.
"She's great. Hopefully you guys could meet her soon. She's been dying to meet the Laura Marano." Laughing slightly, Calum shoves me aside, closer to Ross may I add, and then goes to Raini. Slowly, I walk over to Ross, who looked insanely hot, and give him an awkward smile and wave.
"Hi." I say quietly. He was silent for a moment, until a small smile appeared on his face.
"Hey." He replies.
• oops, left you in a weird spot. but that's only because i'll be switching back to ross' pov and i don't really think this chapter needs anymore writing. hopefully everything you were confused on before has been cleared up. and btw, the underlined part in ross' pov was him writing in his journal, just in case that was confusing. anywho, don't forget to vote, leave a sweet comment, and follow me! love you, babes💜 •
p.s., you got a chapter a day early because i'm going on vacation and won't be able to publish a new one until the following sunday. hope you understand.