It was near dark and eerily silent in the room. The only sound was of our breathing. I could tell from his irregular breaths that he wasn't asleep yet. Neither was I. How could I even think of sleeping when he was lying beside me? So close. I was hyper aware of him.
He was staring at the ceiling then he shifted and I held my breath. He looked at me, his eyes reflecting very faint light coming from the window. I'd always found his eyes beautiful. Not just because they looked beautiful but because they were his most expressive features. Over the years I'd known him, the most common thing I saw in those deep swirl of blue was a glint of mischief. But now I saw an emotion that made my heart clench. I saw sadness. His eyes were still beautiful. Just sad.
"You know, the other day I didn't mean to actually drop you," he said softly.
"I know," I confessed. Ashton told me. After I went to my room that day they had a fight and Asher told him that he never meant to drop me. Just scare me but I slipped from his grasp. He was just being a jerk when he was feigning indifference that day.
"I just meant to scar- wait, you knew?" he asked.
I nodded.
He sighed.
"Ashton told me," I said.
He muttered something under his breath.
"You acted like you were so sure I would let you fall," he said after a moment. He sounded as if it hurt him that I believed he would do that.
"Well... you did let me fall," I said. To be honest, I did believe that. Blame it on our past but I think he could cross any limit in a prank as long as nobody got physically hurt.
"I didn't mean to," he protested.
"Doesn't change anything," I mumbled.
He ran a hand through his hair in frustration.
"I am trying to make amends here and you're not making it any easier," he said.
I propped myself up on my elbows and looked at his face.
"I forgive you okay? It isn't like that's the worst you've done to me," I snapped.
A look of hurt crossed his face but then it was gone just as quickly.
"Yeah right. Why am I even apologizing? There are bigger things I never apologized for," he said but it seemed like he was talking to himself more than me.
"That didn't even sound like an apology," I couldn't help but point out.
He scoffed.
"That's the closest to an apology you can get from me," he said and the smirk was back.
I felt my lips tug up.
I felt asleep at some point during the night. But I woke up not long after. I heard mumbling and realized that Asher was talking incoherently in his sleep. I couldn't make out the words but it seemed like he was having a bad dream. I turned on the lamp. Believe it or not, the whole concept of someone talking in their sleep creeped me out to no end.
I tried to wake him up by shaking him.
"Asher, Asher wake up," I said but instead of waking up he started shaking his head, mumbling more words.
Sweat dotted his forehead and his eyebrows were creased.
I patted his head softly and murmured words of comfort. That seemed to do the job. Soon he relaxed and his breathing slowed.
I kept caressing him and thought what was bothering him even in his sleep. Maybe this was the reason he didn't want to sleep alone.
He rolled onto his side and his arm went around me, trapping me by his side. My heart beat increased and breathing became ragged. His warm body pressed against mine ignited sensations I had never felt before.
I struggled to get out of his hold, fighting my other self that liked being this near to him far too much, but it only made him tighten his arm around me.
"Go to sleep," he murmured against my hair, still asleep.
I relaxed but I didn't think sleep would come to me anytime soon.
****
When I woke up the next day, I woke up alone. Nothing seemed different but then I remembered last night and a stupid smile lit up my face. That really did happen. We cuddled.
It was Saturday, means no school.
Another reason to be happy.
I slipped out of the bed and went to the bathroom.
After taking a shower and changing into clean clothes, I decided to go downstairs to find something to eat. As I opened the door I heard another one opening at the end of the hallway.
Ashton would still be at Kelsey's so it must be Asher's room that opened. I peeked through my door and saw Asher coming out of his room. He was wearing gray sweats and a hoodie of same color. Must be going out for a jog. That's good. I didn't want to face him after yesterday night just yet.
I would probably have the whole house for myself as Tyler and Linda must be out for an early brunch.
I got out of my room a few minutes after he disappeared down the stairs. As I passed his door something dawned on me. Holy crap! I totally forgot about Spidey. I gotta take him back.
I opened the door and entered his room. Nothing remained of my prank, well except Spidey. The walls were back to their usual plain color. Bare of any of the posters I had spent so much time to put. I sighed irritatedly.
I walked to the bedside table and after glancing once at the photograph still kept there I started searching for the spider.
"Spidey, come out. I'll take you home," I cooed.
I searched inside the lamp, around it and even under it but Spidey was nowhere to be found.
Did he throw him out? I thought, horrified.
Nah, Asher was too much of a chicken to even come near it let alone touch it.
I waved that thought away and got on my knees to look under the table.
Aha! There I found it. I reached inside and tentatively picked the spider up. As I brought him out my eyes caught sight of something. I left the spider on the floor and reached for that thing. It was a small orange bottle with white cap. A gasp escaped my lips as I realized what it was.
I leaned against the bed and examined it. It was half full with white pills but there was no name whatsoever on it. It was blank. But it didn't take a genius to figure out who they belonged to. But for what?
Or were they some kind of drugs? Could be because their was no prescription written on it.
I stood up and stomped to the door, remembering at the last moment about Spidey. I rushed back and scooped him up on my palm.
"I'll take you home," I said.
I went to my room to put Spidey in his box. I'd have to bring him back to school soon.
I looked at the bottle in my hands. Should I show him this and demand an explanation? Should I confront him? Or try to be subtle and make him confess?
The last one seemed the most reasonable. At least he wouldn't stomp off that way.
I put the bottle on the closet, hiding it behind several things and made my way downstairs.
I heard the sound of TV and halted in my steps. He was home. It was time. I could do this. It wasn't difficult. Oh who was I kidding? I hated confrontations. I tried to fool my brain into thinking this wasn't a confrontation. That I wasn't exactly confronting him about anything so that I would feel less nervous and the task more easy.
I took a deep breath and entered the living room.
But what met my eyes made my heart clench painfully and stop at the doorway.
Asher was playing his favorite video game but that's not what made me feel this way. It was the fact that he was playing it with someone. A girl. She looked far too comfortable and was sitting far too close to him to be considered just a friend.
And she won. She won against him and fist pumped the air. Maybe Asher let her win because he was smiling adoringly at her. I didn't recognize her. She wasn't from our school. She had blonde hair that were brown at the roots and needless to say she was a work of art in the looks department.
But the fact that Asher let her win was what made her special. He never let anyone win. He never let me win.
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