Noah stands almost immediately, when he recognises the girl and offers her a confused look instead of his surprised one. I follow suit, balancing my mug as I stand and dust off my sweatpants.
I'm not going to lie, as I stand, I immediately become conscious of my attire compared to the girls dark washed jeans, neat jumper and matching converse. Her hair is neatly gathered and her face is practically flawless, with scattered freckles over her nose, that if anything, add to her youthful appeal.
"Your door's unlocked," She says to Noah as her gaze peels away from my form to meet his. "I knocked first but you weren't answering."
"It's fine." He dismisses with a brush of his hand through his hair. Noah then turns to me, giving me a brief side wards glance before deciding to introduce me and the girl he's 'fine' with being in his apartment.
I'm not offended, but annoyed would sum me up pretty well right now, and for reason unknown to me. Feelings, the voice in my head says and I have no choice but to agree.
"This is Hana, my neighbour." He gestures his arm out to me and I acknowledge by waving awkwardly. The girl smiles as she rubs her arms from the cold.
"Nice to meet you." She says and it's then I notice her voice has an unbelievable layer of sweetness that balances out well with her Aussie accent.
"Hana," Noah interrupts, "This is Madison, a friend of mine." I nod my head with a curt smile and manage a 'hi'.
"It's Mads," Madison corrects, "I hate Madison." She laughs it off and I smile. When I look away from her, I catch Noah watching me, but when our gazes meet he averts his and distracts himself with a long drink of his coffee.
"What are you doing here?" He asks Mads.
"I brought a couple of boxes to pick up bits and bobs really." Pointing behind her and back into the apartment, Noah looks behind her, as if to confirm, but I can't see past their bodies.
"Cool." He nods and shifts his gaze. To me, his brief monosyllabic answers and to the point questions seem like a good indication for Mads to leave or perhaps come back later, but she either ignores the hint, or doesn't get it. It doesn't matter really, because out of the three of us, I feel like I'm the outsider.
"So what were you guys doing out here?" She looks at Noah with a warm smile, waiting expectantly for him to reply. He doesn't however, and that's when she decides to address me. "It's a bit cold to have drinks out here, don't ya think?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Do you hang out here often?" I sneak a look at Noah, hoping he'll intervene in this conversation, but he doesn't. It's not that I don't want to talk to his friends, but I feel cautious doing so. I can't tell what to say; that we actually hang out here a lot, and at Amu's or that he's a convert or not.
"From time to time." It's here that Mads runs out of things to say to keep this dying conversation alive. The three of us just stand in an awkward silence rustled by the wind that envelope us. "It's getting late." I finally say, when I can't bear the tension any longer.
"Yeah," Noah straightens up and turns to Mads. "You want to get what you need?"
"Actually," She turns to me briefly then back to Noah, "I'm in no rush. Maybe we could talk for a bit?" Noah seems hesitant to reply and frankly I'm not sure if it's because he doesn't want to talk or he doesn't want to say anything in front of me. Both, bother me just as equally.
"It was nice meeting you." I say to Mads, and give Noah a strained smile. He returns it, though his lips part as if he has more to say, but the words don't come through. I make to walk back into my apartment, when I realize I've still got his mug. Turning back around, I extend my arm and hold the mug out.
"Coffee was great."
"Yeah." He reaches for the mug and as he does so, his fingers overlap mine. The incident was brief, but for some reason it registered as a while in my mind. I'm not an idiot- I didn't exaggerate the situation. My eyes didn't widen, I didn't flinch and I didn't pull away perhaps as I should have. However, you could say I was partially paralyzed. The inside however, was a different case completely. Blood coursed too fast, heart beats were palpitating, stomach was knotting and brain was overloading. A combination that had me feeling instantly overwhelmed. Not in the way that school or Uni does, but in a way, where I didn't mind it. I was overwhelmed in a positive, good way.
"Are you walking to campus tomorrow morning?" He asks, fingers still grazing mine.
"Um," I can't think. I'm too focused on his touch. his hands are unbelievably warm, and create the perfect thermodynamic equilibrium between my frozen ones. Just the thought makes blush.
"You walk on Mondays right?" Once I process his words, their full meaning register with me. He knows my schedule. And even though I should probably find that creepy, I don't.
"Yeah." I will myself to pull my hand away slowly as I take a couple of backward steps. Noah lets his fingers, circle around the mug as he nods.
"I'll see you tomorrow." I nod and wave to Mads, who I had subconsciously forgotten in the 'not so moment' moment.
I walk into my apartment and close the door behind me, and without look out, I head straight to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water. Straight from the tap, I fill up a glass and gulf it down, not caring about the droplets the escape and rush down my chin in my haste. Then, after I place my glass down on the counter, my face breaks out into a smile, and I cover it with my hands as I laugh quietly alone.
I feel stupid, I do. Like the girls in stupid rom-coms that come home and squeal after a date. Obviously my context differs, but that's exactly how I feel. In fact if I was to follow a script, I'd jump up and down on my bed, then fall and lay on it, before calling my best friend and confessing all my gossip. I would've done that, but I don't trust the sturdiness of my bed frame, built by my best friend- Evan. I would never call Evan about something like this; I'm stupid, but I'm not insane.
With the smile still plastered to my face, I pick up my phone from the coffee table and head to my bedroom. I don't turn the light on; for some reason, I feel I can be as goofy as I want in the dark, where nothing can be seen- the light is too revealing, and I definitely want to keep these feelings in the dark, at least for now. Plugging my phone into the charger, I slide down the wall and sit on the floor as I dial mum's number.
"Hey, hun." She replies after three rings.
"Hi." I'm pretty sure she can hear my smile.
"How's it going? Studies alright?"
"Great. Everything's great." She laughs lightly against the speaker, which comes across the line as a muffled electronic rattle.
"That's good. What's got you in high spirits?" I smile wider at complementing telling her.
"Is Baba home?" I work my way around it.
"He went to the Lebanese bakery to get ful." She pauses. "What are you hiding?"
"I have something to tell you." I begin, "It's important." I stop, "Actually it's not really, but don't tell Baba." I laugh nervously as I pause.
"Hana, what is it?" She chuckles. "I won't tell your dad, I promise."
"Okay."
"Hana."
"I think. No, I do, I like Noah." I close my eyes and hold my breath, as my confession leaves me and travels through an invisible line.
"Noah, the boy next door?" I can hear her smiling, or maybe holding back a gleeful laugh.
"Yep." I'm embarrassed to be admitting it, but at the same time, it feels good to tell it to some one.
"Have you told him?" My eyes widen as her question.
"Obviously not."
"He's a great guy."
"I know."
"Do you know if he likes you?" I shake my head as a subtle frown settles between my eyebrows.
"No." I bite the inside of my cheek and pull my scarf off my head. "Do you think he would."
"I don't know." I nod to myself in agreement. We're both silent for a while, until mum asks, "So what are you going to do now?"
"About what?" I know exactly what.
"Noah, Hana."
"I don't know."
"Can you date him?" I roll my eyes
"Mum, no. You know that."
"Well we don't know if he'll marry you." She says bluntly.
"I know that."
"Then what's your plan."
"I don't have one. I just like him." I hear her sigh and I smile. "A lot."
"I don't think I can help you hun. This one's up to you. I'd tell you to go for it and tell him everything, maybe go out once or twice. But your dad probably has a say and your religion too."
"Right." I can hear background noise as I wait for a response.
"Your dad's home."
"Say hi to him. I'll call you another time."
"Alright. Love you."
"Love you." She hangs up as I rest my head against the wall, and just like earlier today, I find myself travelling back to my most recent favorite memories. However, these one's have parts of uncertainty.
Mads seems nice. Given I don't know much to make full opinion about her, but I received mix signals from the way Noah acted around her. They're friends, maybe in the past more than that, but it seemed innocent enough. He's probably had the same group of friends for years, like him and Ed. It's when I remember Ed, that Mads name becomes more familiar.
"Mads not going to be there." He said to Noah. Does that mean Noah doesn't like Mads? To me that seems odd; I can't imagine Noah not getting along with somebody, and that thought alone confirms that they must have had history.
"Madison." I mutter to myself. "Madison St-" Flicking through my stash of memories, I land on the envelopes mistakenly placed in my mailbox. The neat cursive handwriting, and the name; Madison Stewart. It has to be her. I doubt Noah has more than one friend by the name Madison, and she honestly looks like the type to have perfect handwriting. She writes to him. Why would she write to him? How alternative can you get?
They must have been close. I mean, she came to pick up bits and bobs. Suddenly, I hear the sound of Noah's coffee machine as it stirs awake. I guess that means Noah's agreed to sit and talk for a bit.
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Hi guys! I hope you're all doing well inshallah. I'm sorry I left you with a cliff hanger last chapter, I was meant to update yesterday, but as plans do, they never work out, so here I am a day late. I hope you all enjoy this and leave nice comments on what you think. Hana's finally confessing her feelings!!! Wonder what she's going to do now?
Vote, comment, share- let me know what you think! ;)
(unedited as always :P)