(Alexis)
After I slammed the door shut I threw my stuff across the room and ran over to the bed. I laid on it, shoved my face in the pillow and cried for who knows how long. After a while I sat up and walked to the bathroom and washed my face. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see myself. I saw the girl I used to be. And no, I’m not talking about the girl with the crazy hair. I’m still her. I’m talking about the girl that was secretly in love with her best friend but was too scared to tell him. I remember asking him for advice on what I should and he made it perfectly obvious that he didn’t feel the same. I got home and felt even worse about myself.
I remember as soon as he walked off I ran to my bathroom and slammed the door. I looked in the mirror and saw the horror that was me. The acne that I had on my forehead seemed like pepperoni on pizza. Not to mention the fact that I had chubby cheeks, thick eyebrows, weird body figure, a crooked smile and a weird nose. I hated the way I looked. That’s why he doesn’t like me. Maybe if I looked like Jennifer Anniston or Mila Kunis or even Taylor Swift. Then maybe he would want me. There was no point in trying to win him over. He’d never go for me. Oh well, he deserves someone better.
I laughed as I remembered that thought. But then I looked in the mirror and saw that same ugly girl looking back at me. I rinsed my face once more and then left the bathroom. I pulled out my lap top to finish my movie but before I could I heard a familiar sound coming from the other side of the door. I opened it and heard Austin singing an unfamiliar song. Maybe it was new. I listened carefully to see if I could make out the words.
“I guess I made the wrong mistakes
I understand if you need your space
Please take your time
Before you go away
So far awayYou need to realize
Baby, it's not just you
You know it hurts me too
Watching you leave
With tears on your sleeve
Dont you notice that mine aren't exactly dry
Baby, it's not just you
That's hurting
It's me too.” (NOTE: I thought this song fit really well. I wanted to use it earlier but it fit better here. I think so at least. Anyways. Yeah okay keep reading!)
I started to go out there but then I remembered why I was in the room in the first place. I quickly shut the door and sat on the bed. I fought back the constant urge to go out there, wrap my arms around him and kiss him and tell him that all was forgotten. I couldn’t though. If I did then he would only end up hurting me again. He would apologize and I would forgive him and the cycle would repeat all over again. He wasn’t really sorry. I used to believe him. Not anymore.
---about 2 hours later---
I set my guitar and notebook down after I finished the song. A few seconds later I heard a faint tapping on the door.
“Come in.” I said. I saw Austin walk through the door with his hands in his pockets.
“Um we stopped to grab something to eat. We have a while before we get to the hotel.” He said quietly.
“Oh thanks.” I said. I stood up and grabbed my phone. I looked around the room for my purse and after finally finding it, we both walked into the mcdonalds. As I suspected, we were mobbed by fans. Mostly Austin fans though. a few came up to me which caught me off guard.
“Are you Austin’s girlfriend still?” the tall blonde one asked.
“Um no, we broke up over a year ago. We’re just friends.” I said.
“Of course you are.” Said her friend who was bruenette.
“We are. You can ask him yourself.” I told them.
“Why would we believe you?”
“Maybe because I know the truth?”
“No you don’t. He doesn’t even like you. He feels sorry for you.” the tall one said.
“You don’t know anything about Austin. I’ve known him since I was five.”
“Yeah but that’s the only reason he is still friends with you. he doesn’t like you. no one does.” The brunette said. “He thinks you’re an ugly, fat, horrible singer.” She spat in my face. I felt hot tears come to my eyes. Before I had the chance to say anything I heard someone else speak up.
“For your information, that is most definitely not true. I don’t think that of her and I never will. She is the most gorgeous and talented person I know. I don’t feel sorry for her. However I do feel sorry for you.” Austin said.
“Why do you feel sorry for me?” the blonde asked.
“Because you have to put down girls just to make yourself feel better. Even if Alexis wasn’t in the picture I wouldn’t date you.”
“Oh and why not?”
“Because I only date girls who are confident and like who they are and don’t feel the need to change themselves. I like when they feel secure about themselves. And Alexis is that person.” He said. At that moment I instantly felt like a jerk. He knew that wasn’t the truth. At least I think he did. He knew I didn’t find myself attractive. Well he did when we were dating. He probably thought it was just a phase and that I was over that. And I wasn’t about to correct him. Well not here at least. Without another word I felt him grab my arm and pull me out of the mcdonalds. He didn’t let go until we were on the bus.
“We’ll just get food somewhere else.” He said when we started driving. There was a moment of silence and he must have noticed my confusion because he looked at me.
“What?”
“Why did you do that?” I asked.
“Do what?”
“Why did you say those things to her?”
“Because they were the truth.”
“Well not really.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“What you said about me being a girl who is confident and likes who they are and feels secure about themselves.”
“But you are.”
“No I’m not.” I shook my head.
“I thought you were over that.” He said.
“Well I’m not.”
“Alexis.” He sighed. “You are beautiful. Okay? Stop telling yourself that you’re ugly because it is so far from the truth that the two don’t even exist on the same planet. You’re beautiful.” He said. I stared at him for a moment and when he started to lean in, I leaned but then quickly pulled away. I stood up and took a few steps back.
“No you cant do that.”
“Do what?”
“You cant just say something like that and then try and kiss me. Not after what happened earlier.”
“Alexis I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean any of that.”
“It’s too late for apologies.”
“Please Alexis-“
“No. wait here. I have to tell you something.”
“Then why should I wait here?” he asked as I walked off to the room.
“Because the only way I can do it is through song.” I said as I grabbed my guitar.
I came back out and sat on the couch across from him and began strumming....
------
I strummed the last chord and looked at him. I waited to see if he was going to say anything but instead he got up and walked to the bedroom. He was looking at the ground but when I said his name he turned around and looked up at me.
“I want you to know, that no matter what, I’ll always love you. not as much as I used to, but I do. That feeling will never go away. But I cant-I just- I think-“ I stopped and sighed. “I just feel like ever since that day you broke up with me, there was something broken that, no matter how hard we try, can never be fixed. I really-“
“I get it. You don’t have to explain.” He said cutting me off.
“Okay.” I nodded.
“Well goodnight.” he said.
“What about dinner?” I asked.
“I’m not hungry after all. See you in the morning.”
“Okay. Night.” I nodded.
“Night.” He said as he shut the door. I set my guitar on the ground and stretched out on the couch seeing as he would be sleeping in the room.
I hated that I had to sing that song to him. But it was the only way to tell him how I felt. Even though a part of me still longed for him. I thought back to what he said earlier before he tried to kiss me.
“You are beautiful. Okay? Stop telling yourself that you’re ugly because it is so far from the truth that the two don’t even exist on the same planet. You’re beautiful.”
It still echoed in my head. It reminded me of when he told me everything he loved about me…
-flashback-
“Austin?” I asked as I swung my legs to get higher on the swing.
“What's up?” he asked. He was standing by the swing off to the side.
“Why me?”
“What do you mean why you?”
“I mean, off all the girls that want to date you, why did you choose me?”
“You cant be serious.”
“I am.”
“Alexis, you’re beautiful.”
“No I’m not.” I said a little louder than I intended too. Next thing I knew was my swing came to a sudden stop. I looked up and saw him standing in front of me looking down.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Because its true. I’m not.” I said.
“Don’t say that.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“You wanna know why I chose you?” he asked. When I nodded he continued. “I chose you because of who you are. Your laugh is music to my ears. Your smile drives me crazy. Your eyes, I could stare at them all day. I never get enough of them. I never get enough of you. you are perfect. Everything about you is amazing.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” He nodded. “Don’t ever tell yourself that again.”
“Okay.”
“Because it is not true.”
“Okay.” I said again.
“Promise me.”
“I promise.”
“Thank you.” he smiled before leaning down and pecking me on the lips. When he pulled away he walked around behind me and began pushing me.
“Austin?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re pretty gorgeous too.” I smiled.
“Heh thank you.” he chuckled.
-present-
I wiped away the tears that escaped my eyes and slowly cried myself to sleep, knowing that things would never be like that between us ever again. All because I had to go and open my big mouth and change who I was.
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AUTHORS NOTE: hey guys soooo i bet you are all wondering what the heck happened to me? no? haha i know. just messing with you.
i am so sorry it took so long to update. i'm going through a tough time and i havent been my complete self lately and its hard to write when i'm like this. but i felt bad about being gone so here is a chapter. sorry its not amazing. the next one will be better. more updates will come once i get over this rough patch.
anyways
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