"You're really okay?" Rolan asked.
It was Saturday morning and I'd already had breakfast in the kitchens with the soldiers. Madam Darrow had allowed them into her sacred space after I'd pleaded their innocence, though she'd swiftly regretted her decision after Shade and Dune had devoured a full pack of sausages and a dozen slices of bacon between them.
Rolan had caught me on the way out of the Staff Wing, and though Molly and Billy had been about to escort me back to my rooms, Rolan had told them he'd do it. The two of them hadn't looked exactly happy about his tone of voice, but I hadn't managed to see much of him since the rebel attack the Saturday before, so I'd waved them away.
"My leg is healing well, according to Willa." I nodded, delivering the same report I'd relayed a good seven times already. "The pain has faded a bit, so I'm able to put my weight on it now. She says I'll be able to walk around without help by next week."
"How come they've not given you crutches?"
"No need. By the time a pair would have arrived for me, I wouldn't need them." I shrugged. "Plus, she says the quicker I start exercising the muscles, the quicker they'll heal."
"That's good news." He didn't act like it was though. In fact, his arm around my waist was stiff and his fingers were digging into my ribs harder than I thought necessary. He was frowning at the floor.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I heard the Report was cancelled this evening." He said instead of answering me.
"Um, yeah. There was a lot of damage done to the studio last Saturday, so it's not ready yet. We'll do a Report next Saturday instead."
He nodded again, and the sunlight streaming through the tall windows reflected back from his bronze hair, highlighting the red in it. "You've been avoiding me."
Ah, so here was his problem. "I've been busy." And I had; Amber had been taking up a lot of my time, especially since the Queen had seemed to relax her grip on the Princess after Tuesday. She'd been allowed to see me after her schooling every day, and we'd stay together usually until dinner. When I wasn't with Amber, I was usually in the Staff Wing or with Luna and Lauren.
"Too busy to see me?" His murky green eyes were harder than I'd ever seen them as he finally turned to look at me.
"How was I to know where you were?" I demanded, finally too annoyed with his tone. If Patch had spoken to me like this back home, I'd have given him a punch for it.
"Bet you're quite aware of the Prince's whereabouts, though." He snapped back. He let go of my waist and stepped away.
"What're you talking about?"
"I heard that you spent yesterday with him." His eyebrows rose, and the sharp line of his jaw dared me to argue.
I was never good at turning down dares. Even dangerous ones.
"I spent yesterday with Amber. Asher happened to find us." I told him, slowly and fiercely. "We threw a ball to each other in the gardens for a bit. We barely talked. Even if we did, what is it to you?"
"You hate him. Or you did, anyway."
Immediately, I wanted to defend myself. Tell him that of course, of course I hated Asher. My feelings towards him had not changed. Would never change. But Amber had been eager to play with her brother, and Asher had a spare half hour. So what?
"How is this your business, Rolan?" I asked, frowning at him. "What gives you the right to be angry?"
"Probably the same right that would make that bastard Prince angry about us in that courtyard last Saturday."
"We didn't get engaged." More growl than actual words, now. "You have absolutely no claim over me. The fact you'd even throw that in my face-"
"No claim?" He chuckled without humour and shook his head. "Nobody else would think the same if they found out. You'd be damaged goods."
My insides turned cold with fury. I had no idea where this had come from. Had not seen a hint of this side of him before now. Of course, I'd only known him for a week before we'd kissed. Only caught him a few moments at a time. People had warned me that he'd had a foul attitude before we'd met. Maids had warned me that he'd had a temper. Even Darrow said he kept to himself, and liked it that way.
Now I understood why.
"Go away, Rolan." I said, with barely repressed anger. "Don't seek me out again."
I turned to walk away. Hobble away. It didn't matter. If this conversation continued, it would escalate. I was not above punching him straight in the face, but it wouldn't do for a Guard to walk around with a bloody nose. That was something I could really get in trouble for; they were considered property of the King. That's why people were punished so harshly for hurting one.
Of course, that's the moment he grabbed me. Not too violently. But he grabbed my wrist and twisted me back to face him, which wrenched on my injured thigh. The pain made me grit my teeth, but I was too proud to make a sound.
"You're overreacting." He told me, head bent low to mine. His words were fierce. "This isn't a big deal, Eris. I just... I just want you to myself, that's all. Maybe you should just-" He took a breath, his hand tightening on my arm. "Maybe you should just ask to leave the Selection, and everything will be fine."
"I'm not yours to keep." I spat at him, twisting my wrist. He didn't let go. He'd backed me into the wall. "What is wrong with you, Rolan? You seemed so kind."
"I am," he nodded earnestly. "I am kind. I'll be so kind to you."
His breath washed over me, and I smelled alcohol. It was so strong my eyes watered.
"You're drunk." I informed him. Though he wasn't drunk enough to act clumsy, just drunk enough to act brave, I supposed. "Get off me, and we'll forget all about this. You can apologise when you're sober."
This only seemed to anger him. "I'll apologise? Me? Like I'm the one that has anything to be sorry for? You fucking told me you hated him. Then you go and save his life! Save his life and then spend time with him! That prick who is just-"
"I don't care what your opinion of Asher is." I ground out. It was an effort to contain the violence building in my muscles. In the back of my throat. Behind my eyes. It was like an energy all too eager to burst free. "I care that you're hurting me. If you don't let go, I'm going to hurt you."
"Hurt me? You?" He had the nerve to smirk at me. "Listen, everything can go back to normal. I'll forgive you, Eris. But I'm warning you-"
The weak tether I'd been grasping snapped like a twig beneath my heal. At that condescending tone, my temper rolled up like a surging wave, and I'd moved before I had consciously made the decision to do so.
He was grasping my left hand, the weaker one, so I wasn't too hindered by his grip. I whipped my right hand up, laying my fist right into the center of his stomach. Always a good place to hit; there was a lot of important organs around that area. He hunched, the breath leaving him.
I wasn't done; yanking my left hand free, I backhanded him across the face. Not as much power in the left hand, but the momentum of my body thrown behind it certainly made up for that.
He stumbled back, cheek rosy red. He put a hand to it, as if it might have been bleeding. I wanted it to be. I wanted to see blood on his face.
Rolan looked up at me, and there was violence in his eyes. I sighed. Why was it trouble just seemed to find me?
He leaned forward, as if to lunge, and I braced myself for the impact, tilted my injured leg away so it wouldn't be too badly damaged by the fight we were about to have.
The fight that ended, abruptly, when a gun appeared in the space beside Rolan's head.
It was being held by a young black woman, wearing a soldier's cargo trousers and heavy boots. She was smaller than Rolan, and had to aim the gun upwards for it to touch his temple, but it didn't stop her looking like some kind of vengeful warrior, appearing out of nowhere to protect those weaker than herself.
I stumbled back, shocked and unsteady with the force of the pent up energy escaping my body. Rolan tensed.
"Piece of shit," She cursed him around a thick accent. "Not exactly noble, trying to fight someone whose already injured."
"This isn't any of your damn business," Rolan spat at her, but didn't move.
"See this gun in my hand?" She thumbed back the hammer until it clicked for emphasis, "This makes it my damn business. Now run along, before my finger slips."
Rolan's eyes were still on me. "You're going to let her order me away?"
"Run along." I jerked my head down the corridor. "Before I ask to borrow the gun."
His eyes tightened, but he started to back away. He kept his eyes on us, and the woman kept the gun raised until he'd turned his back and started down the corridor. Then the gun lowered, but she watched him until he'd turned the corner and disappeared.
"You really know how to make friends." She said, without looking at me. Her jaw was clenched.
"It's a gift of mine." I replied, sighing. I wondered how Rolan would act when he'd sobered up. I hope it took a few days for him to approach me again, because by that time my leg would have healed a little, and I could kick his ass in a more thorough manner.
"Your mother named you well." Her eyes were on me now, and her gaze was shrewd enough that I knew she was considering pointing the gun at me. As a reward for my sheer idiocy, probably.
Now that I was breathing again, I looked at her. Her dark hair was shaved close to her head, not entirely bald, but close to it. She was small, petite almost, but stood in such a way that made her seem bigger than she was. Her wide stance and squared shoulders, the flat black of her eyes made her seem quite formidable.
I wasn't in the mood to deal with formidable.
"I'm pretty sure she cursed me." I told her, referring back to my mother. "Cursed all of us, even."
"Names hold power." She nodded, seriously. "Where I come from we name our babies carefully, so as not to anger any higher powers."
"Higher powers?" I tilted my head, "Like... Kings and Queens?"
She smiled at me the same way you'd smile at a child. "No, Eris Black. But now is not the time to discuss the history you have forgotten. I'm here to deliver a message."
My insides ran cold. "Are you with the Network?"
She hissed harshly, and grabbed my arm. After a quick, sharp glance up and down the corridor, she shook her head. "Come. It is too open here."
Her arm went around my waist. We started to move as quickly as I was able. We went in the opposite direction Rolan had fled. After turning down a few empty corridors, she pulled me into a room that seemed to be an empty guest suite. The decor was grand, like in my own rooms, but less feminine. Probably for Ministers and Advisers who decided to stay the night rather than return to their city dwellings.
"Yes, I work with the Wise Women." She said as she closed the door behind us. "They have a number of workers in the palace, though I only know two others. One who passes information on to me, and one I pass information on to. This way, if any of us are discovered and interrogated, we only lose a small number of the whole operation."
"That sounds like an unstable method." I frowned, "Clever, but if one trio of the chain is discovered, then the whole chain collapses."
A swift smile. "You are smart, Eris Black. I'm glad. I thought you would not be impressive as is rumoured."
"That's me." I deadpanned, "Impressive. Incompetent. Somewhere in the middle, I guess."
She pursed her lips, looking very much like she wanted to take that compliment back. I didn't blame her. I was all jittery. I could feel the anxiety building in my stomach, adding pressure to my insides. It wasn't exactly going to be good news, was it? Worry made me stupid, made me too willing to open my big mouth. Only anger usually did that to me.
"I have news from home." She said finally. She was measuring me. I'd had that look before. I got it all the times in the Pits, men and women both sizing me up. Wondering whether or not they could beat me in a fight. Judging the lack of height and the bright, stupid hair. Measuring the weight of my stare and the scars already littering my knuckles.
I was losing focus. I needed to listen to her. But panic made my mind stutter. Made it light up like someone had set my skull on fire. I was going to burn from the inside if she didn't carry on talking.
"Who died?" I asked, and my voice shook.
"No one." I stumbled over to the double bed and took a heavy seat on the made bed. A maid was going to be very angry that I'd messed up her good work. "But... Jax Healy did try to infiltrate your home late yesterday evening."
My breath rushed out of me like a popped balloon. That bastard. That absolute rotten bastard. I knew he hadn't been just trying to panic me. He was really serious about going after my family. After the house. He'd waited long enough. Let me stew, let me worry, let me get a little comfortable with the idea that he wasn't going to do anything. No doubt the Gruks that had been posted outside my home had got lazy as well. Hadn't been too bothered protecting a mere orphanage, after all the trouble I'd given the local Gruks over the years.
Then Jax had made his move.
"We had people there. Only one at the time, but he was armed enough that he held them off until help arrived. We hear that your sister helped defend the house."
Nike. Little Nike. It wouldn't have been Mania, she wouldn't have had the nerve. But Nike would have died to defend the kids. She'd have rather died than let a person, even someone she didn't know, die for her.
I'd set a bad example over the years.
"She's okay?" I choked. I was having trouble smothering tears.
"She's fine." She was eyeing me warily. Probably wondering if I could handle the rest of her news. Because there must be more. Had to be. Else why bother telling me?
"What else?" I demanded.
"Healy..." She looked away from my gaze. "He went after someone else once he'd failed to get into the house."
"Who was it?" She took a breath, "Who was it, dammit?!"
"Patch Sallow." She muttered. "Patch Sallow was taken from his house late last night. He was returned to it early this morning."
I slid off the bed and hit the floor with a thump. Pain lanced through my thigh, but I barely felt it. Welcomed the agony, in fact. It was less than I deserved.
"Is he alive?" It might have been a whisper, it might have been a shout. I wasn't sure; my ears weren't working properly. All I could hear was a deafening, horrendous roaring. Like the sea was somewhere in the distance.
She knelt down in front of me and gripped my wrists tightly. I didn't feel the pressure.
"Barely."
***
"Ris?" The knock came tentatively on the bathroom door. "Ris? Are you done?"
I slumped against the wall. It was cool at my back. The shirt I was wearing was thin. Too thin; I was freezing. It was Patch's shirt. Practically all of the shirts I had with me belonged to him.
How could I have let this happen? How could... It was all my fault. I should have killed Jax years ago. I should never have left. I should have... I didn't do enough...
"Ris?"
"Leave me alone!" It came out louder and harsher than I'd wanted. I didn't want to chase away Robyn and Kit. They made the palace so much more bearable.
But I felt like the ground was swallowing me. I felt like I'd been dunked in an icy bath. I felt like... Felt like...
I twisted until I was hunched over the toilet and threw up noisily. Again. I was sure I'd already got rid of my breakfast, but it seemed like there was still more for my body to force up and out.
"Ris..." The door opened tentatively.
Hands on my back. The warm press of a palm between my shoulder blades. The quiet, solid comfort brought tears to my eyes, and all at once sobs wracked my body. My shoulders bent inward with the force of them. It was the sort of tears that physically bent your body in half. The sort that rushed up from your stomach.
"Oh, honey..." Strong hands pulled me away from the toilet and into the middle of the tiled bathroom floor. I was tucked into a chest. Too small to be Kit's; must have been Robyn's.
The toilet flushed.
"Was it something she ate at breakfast?" Kit's asked, worried. I could picture her wringing her hands, flitting around, bouncing on her toes with anxiety. "Shall I fetch Willa?"
"She's not physically sick." Taylor's voice. Strong. Steady. I was surprised she was here. "Something must have happened."
"What is it?" Robyn demanded, voice high pitched and strained. "Did somebody do something? Did somebody hurt you? Upset you? Ris?"
"Let her breathe!" Taylor snapped. "Damn, just let her gather herself."
I was still sobbing. Struggling to breathe. But I let Robyn hold me at arms length and tried to wipe the snot and salty tears from my face. I tried to give her the best answer I could.
"I have-... I have... I have to get, get out of here." I wasn't sure they'd managed to catch the clumsy words.
"What're you talking about?" Kit knelt behind Robyn so I could see her. "What's going on?"
"I have to go home." I said, stronger.
Through hiccups and half-gasps, I managed to tell them the story. Glossing over the part about Rolan, I told them of the soldier and how she'd been part of the Network. I relayed to them the same message she'd given me.
By the time I was finished, I wasn't quite as deranged. Maybe still a little shaky, but at least I didn't feel like I was going to puke again.
"Maybe you can get sent home on the grounds of a family emergency?" Kit offered, looking saddened by the idea.
"Patch isn't family." Taylor replied before I could. "King Maxon might have sent her home, had it been his Selection. However, Prince Asher has already demonstrated that he wants her to stay."
"And he's well aware of Eris's desperation to go home." Robyn nodded. "He might suspect that this is just another attempt at orchestrating her departure."
"The Gruks weren't involved either." I told them. "So it's not like there'd even be an official report to prove what happened."
The four of us looked at each other, helpless.
"Well, what could you really do anyway, Eris?" Taylor's eyebrows flicked up.
"Don't be mean," Kit implored her desperately.
"I'm not being mean, I'm being practical." Taylor frowned back, and pushed up her glasses. "Patch has been delivered home. I assume the Wise Women are taking care of him. You have no medical experience or expertise, so it's not like he'll die if you don't get home right this moment. You're injured, and badly at that, so it's not like you'd be much use in a fight right now. After the attack, the Network will have increased security, so they're not at risk right this moment."
"That makes a lot of sense," Robyn said, rubbing a hand down my back.
I sighed. Of course it did. But still. "You want me to do nothing? Carry on? Patch would rush home for me. How can I not rush home for him?"
"I'm not saying you should just sit here. I'm saying you shouldn't throw yourself recklessly into a stupid situation more likely to put you in prison than on a plane. I'm saying there's no need for hysterics. I'm saying that a calm and level head will do you more good than sobbing on a bathroom floor will."
The three of us stared at her. Kit with disapproval, Robyn with quiet scorn. I was simply impressed. I appreciated tough love. I was good at tough love. So it seemed that Taylor was too. It was not cruelty in her eyes, it was a fierceness that said she did not expect weakness from me.
She expected better.
I took a breath. Wiped my face clear. Held out my hands to her. She nodded tersely and pulled me to my feet. We stared at each other, me up at her and her down at me. Her hands around mine squeezed once. The only sort of support she felt comfortable giving me. I didn't feel hurt when she dropped my hands.
"So, what are we going to do?" Robyn asked, a bit confused by the exchange but ready to help, all the same.
I smiled at her, grateful. Grateful for all of them. I hadn't believed that I could find anyone worthwhile in this palace, but I'd found friends in them. I would keep these friends even when I left. I'd make sure of it.
"We're going to do some research." I said. "And then we're going to plan."
"Tea first, though?" Kit asked, hopeful.
***
"We'll have to check the library." Robyn suggested.
"I'll ask Eddie." I nodded. The three of them looked at me, Kit smiling widely. "What? As if I didn't make friends with the librarian."
Taylor rolled her eyes.
We'd just come back from the Staff Wing. Darrow had been a bit suspicious of our questions, but she hadn't revealed much of importance. Apparently, nothing much out of the ordinary had happened during King Maxon's Selection. Nothing too scandalous. She'd reported that King Clarkson had harboured a dislike for his future daughter-in-law, but nothing so horrid.
"Researching the old Selection's is a good idea, but we still need a plan." Kit said.
I'd been contemplating all day. I was pretty sure I already had one half-formed.
"Knowing what got girls kicked out in previous Selection's will help with that." Robyn nodded.
"I think I've already got a bit of an idea," I told them in a mutter. You could never be too sure about who was watching in the palace. "However, I need to know how much trouble I could actually get into if I do it."
"Maybe there's an archive somewhere." Robyn said.
"Maybe there's a rule book." I wondered aloud, "Maybe there'll be a huge long list of rules that I can break one by one."
"I'd advise against that."
The voice made me jump, and I whirled in fright with a very unimpressive shriek. Of course, this only served to make me stumble on my weak leg. Strong hands caught me at the elbows and kept me upright.
Looking up, I was unsurprised by the cool blue eyes that met mine. Though what did surprise me was the grin on his face. He had another man with him, shorter, with dark hair and green eyes.
"Ash." I said, in as dignified a manner as I possibly could. I hopped backwards, brushing down the sleeves he'd been holding.
"Eris." He inclined his head. His hair was done neatly, smoothed into a sharp comb-over. His suit today was of deep emerald. A good colour; it brightened his pale complexion. "Was there a certain sort of rule book you were searching for?"
"No." I shrugged innocently.
"It wouldn't be one for the Selection, would it?" His eyebrows rose.
"That's ridiculous." I rolled my eyes, "Why... Is there one?"
Robyn sighed heavily. Asher tipped his head back and laughed. "No, unfortunately for you. Fortunate for the rest of us, I imagine."
I merely scowled at him. Then I remembered my manners. "Oh. Asher, these are my friends. Robyn, Kit and Taylor." I pointed to each in turn.
Asher's eyebrows rose, but he turned to them with a gracious smile and bowed charmingly at the waist. "Ladies. So good to meet the women who tend to Eris with such devotion."
"She doesn't need much tending." Kit smiled, dipping her head.
"Just constant vigilance and supervision." Robyn smiled sweetly. My mouth dropped open in protest.
"I can imagine," He grinned, "I've never known trouble to hound a person quite so thoroughly."
"It requires all three of our combined efforts to keep her contained." Kit reported happily.
"Even then we struggle." Taylor said, deadpan.
"I am... So insulted." I scowled at the three of them. "Traitors."
Asher was wearing the most diabolical grin I'd ever seen. "You should have introduced me to them sooner, love." He slapped his companion on the back. "This is my friend, Peter Leger."
My own eyebrows inched higher, and I extended my hand. Peter shook, smiling uncertainly at my inspection.
"I'm sorry, it's just quite astounding." I told him, still staring.
"What is?" He seemed nervous, and his pretty green eyes shifted to Asher for help.
"The fact that Asher Schreave has a friend."
Peter, despite himself, burst into laughter. Asher's face dropped into one of objection. "We were forced together from childhood." Peter told me, still chuckling. "It was entirely against my will."
"Makes sense." I smiled.
"You should have introduced us sooner, Asher." Peter said, giving him a light elbow to the ribs. Asher was scowling, though his eyes were amused. There was no weight to the frown that I could see.
When our eyes met, he smiled freely and it took me only a moment to smile back without much trouble.
"Well." Robyn said, loud enough that I looked round. "The three of us have to be in the kitchen's for dinner. We missed lunch."
Kit looked at her wrist, though it was devoid of a watch. "We're late already, actually."
"It's only four." I frowned at her.
"Darrow says dinner is early tonight." Taylor informed me. "She told us at breakfast."
"Yes," Peter cut in, "Actually, thank you for reminding me. I've got an appointment."
"What sort of appointment?" Asher frowned at him.
"Ah. Well, I told my mother I'd meet her for tea." He smiled, though didn't look Asher in the eyes.
"We were on our way out to the kennels." Asher said, pointedly.
I was shifting awkwardly, glaring daggers at the girls. They were inching down the corridor, back the way we came. The gap between myself and them was getting steadily wider.
"I forgot about mother." Peter shrugged helplessly. "Sorry. I'll catch you later, though?"
"See you later, Eris." Kit and Robyn said together. Taylor was already disappearing around the corner. Peter hurried after them.
"Guys-!" I called.
"Peter-!" Asher hissed.
They were gone. All four of them.
Asher and I were left staring after them side by side.
"I would like new maids." I informed him, without looking.
"No problem." I saw him nod from the corner of my eye, "The next time you see Peter, please inform him that he's sentenced to death."
"Gotcha."
We stood in thick silence for a moment, staring out at the empty corridor that faced us. I didn't know what to say, and it was clear he didn't either.
"It's okay." Asher took a breath, "I've got things to do anyway, so I'll just, um... Go."
He turned, started to walk back down the corridor, the way he'd arrived.
"Asher." I said, sighing. I heard him stop walking. "I... My leg."
He was beside me again in a moment, blushing fiercely. "I'm sorry. I forgot. I'll help you back to your suite, of course." His eyes flicked up to meet mine, then flitted to the floor. "Unless... You would like to do something else?"
I hesitated. We hadn't spent time alone since he'd come to my rooms on Sunday. Before that, we'd never been alone together without it eventually ending in an argument. I wondered... If we'd even enjoy each other's company.
But then, I'd sworn today to try harder at being sent home. Patch needed me. The orphanage needed me. After what Jax had done, Patch deserved a best friend who rushed home.
"We don't have to." Asher was blushing brighter, eyes firmly fixed on the floor and jaw clenched hard. He was embarrassed. "I know we don't... Well, I know how you feel about me."
My insides melted. Asher had been through a lot too. He'd been so kind on Sunday. He'd been friendly all this week too. I wanted to go home, of course, but it didn't mean I had to treat him poorly. Besides, he seemed to be trying his hardest to be nice. It was only right I do the same.
"I'd like to do something." I said, and he looked up at me quickly. "What did you have in mind?"
***
Thanks for reading! Xo