"Show me," Penelope spoke, her voice firm and determined. "Show me how much you want me."
A mixture of surprise and uncertainty flitted across Colin's face, causing her to wonder if she overstepped.
After their first conversation at the park since his return, he'd been a different man. Not at all the sweet, charming Colin that she'd grown up with, the one who didn't see her as a woman, but someone who was unhinged and volatile. Obsessive in a way she had never seen him before, demanding things he had no right to. And the way he looked at her, touched her as if she belonged to him – she didn't know how to wrap her mind around this change.
Except now there was hesitation on his face, and he reminded her of the Colin from before. Her childhood friend. And she wondered if this was the moment the spell over him would break. Would he finally realize the truth that he truly didn't want her? That this strange fixation was only temporary? Her heart hurt at the thought, even though she knew rationally this was for the best for both herself and him. "This was a mistake. Please leave."
She tried to walk past him but suddenly he gripped her hand from behind, his other arm sneaking around her waist to pull her against him. Her back flushed with his front, she trembled when he leaned into whisper in her ear. "Your scent is ingrained into my brain. You're in my every thought, every fantasy. All I think about is you."
His lips traced a line from her ear, down the length of her neck, inhaling her in, teasing her with his warm breath, whispering wicked, wicked things. Every nerve in her body was heightened with his one hand trailing down her body, the other cupping her right breast over her dressing robe.
Breath panting, she arched back, gripping his sides for support. "Colin...".
"I've imagined your breasts, what they look like, what they feel like when I cup them." The need in his voice was potent, shocking her, but it paled in comparison to when his fingers brushed against her nipple. She jumped in response but he held her firm, locking her in his arms. His breath grew labored. "How sweet you must taste, Pen." His other hand drifted to between her legs, stroking her mound. "Your sweet, tight cunt, so needy for me, begging to be filled with my cock... "
It was all too much, she couldn't take it. His hands caressing her, his mouth seducing her, she was a throbbing nerve of need and wanton desire. Nothing else mattered, except the thrilling sensation from his hands all over her body.
It wasn't until she felt him start to untie her robe that some semblance of sense returned. Underneath the robe she was clad in her sleeping gown, free of any undergarments that would give her body a desirable shape. She would practically be naked. Naked. Her large breasts, her too-soft stomach and thighs, all exposed in front of him. Immediately, panic set in. She couldn't do it, not with him, not when any sign of disappointment from him would destroy her. Using all her resolve she nudged his hands away and attempted to move – but he didn't let her. Instead he whirled her around in his arms and pulled her in for a kiss.
His mouth closed over hers, silencing every thought in her brain.
There was urgency in his kiss, in his touch, lifting her up in his arms like she weighed nothing. And she couldn't get enough of him, returning his frenzied kiss while he ravaged her. Her hands frantically unbuttoned his waistcoat, practically ripping it off so she could feel his shoulders, his back, his chest whilst his own squeezed her bottom, his hardness jutting against her stomach.
Suddenly he tore his mouth away, his breath panting, perched above her and she realized they were on her bed. Somehow he had carried her from the door to the bed while she'd been completely caught up in him. Heat coursed through her body at the stark desire etched on his face; his look of awe, as if she was the most beautiful woman in the world, made her head spin. His eyes were dark, so dark, almost brown, piercing through to her very soul, the rhythm of her heavy breaths matching his so they were both breathing in unison. A small voice in her head reminded her this was a terrible mistake, but then there was her heart. Her heart, that had loved him for so long and ached to be touched by him for as long as she could remember. Not just be touched, but also touch him in return. His hair, his lips, his body – everywhere.
Taking advantage of her position, she ran her fingers through his soft, tantalizing curls.
"That feels wonderful," he sighed, closing his eyes.
"I've always wanted to do that."
His eyes met hers. "Why didn't you?"
"You know why." Her fingers caressed the hair on the nape of his neck. "And I shouldn't be doing this right now."
"Wrong. You should do that and more."
"You can not have your way with me, Colin."
"And you should not be haunting my every thought, yet you do."
Her voice was playful, toying with him. "I'm not responsible for the wicked thoughts in your mind."
"But you are." His eyes centered on her parted lips. "You're a temptress, Penelope. In my dreams and out of them."
"Have you really dreamt of me?"
"Every night this past week."
He rubbed his body against hers, and a spark of lightning rushed through her blood. Like he'd set her body on fire. Her robe was undone but she didn't want to cover herself this time, the intimacy of having him be so close to her heated core too enthralling to stop.
"I dream of your smile, your sweet laughter." He nuzzled the top of her head. "Your fiery mane."
"That doesn't sound very tempting."
"Then you don't see what I see." His eyes locked with hers. "Slow taunts, wicked barbs, seducing me with your mind before you begin your true, tender assault on me."
Her heart started drumming in her chest.
"When you finally touch me with your hands, your mouth, I'm at the brink of madness."
It was difficult to breathe with him peering at her, his finger slowly tracing the contours of her face. "There are times I dream about pleasuring you. What you must taste like, what you must feel like when I'm inside you, how beautiful you must look when you come for me."
Throat parched, she swallowed and glided her tongue over her lips. His gaze followed her every movement, a man enchanted. And he was still stiff, undeniable proof that he desired her. Her. Emboldened by his response, she reached up to cup his face. "I wonder how you look."
He raised his eyebrow. "When I climax?"
Heat rose in her cheeks.
"Do you want to get me off, Penelope?"
"Would you want me to?"
"I've imagined your mouth on me a thousand times. And I've imagined devouring your cunt just as many."
A thrill ran down her spine, both from nervousness and excitement. "Do you touch yourself when you think of me?"
"Yes."
"Would you... show me?"
He raised his eyebrow. "Are you sure? I'm not sure you would find it enjoyable to watch."
"I want to see you, Colin. All of you."
Eyes darkened, he sat back on his knees. Positioned between her legs, he simply held still, studying her for a few seconds before he loosened his breeches and pulled them down. Her eyes followed his movements. She drew a sharp breath when he freed his erection, mesmerized by the sight. He was pink and thick, the length of his shaft beautiful in a way she'd never imagined before.
"I simply have to think of you and it's enough to get me hard. Your luscious lips, your eyes glazed, looking at me, wanting me, the way you're doing now." Wrapping his fingers around his cock, he started to move his hand up and down his shaft. "I think about your full breasts, how soft they felt in my hands, how lush and beautiful they would be when you finally show them to me."
She held his gaze, wetness pooling between her legs.
"I ache at the thought of your nipples begging for my attention. How rosy and flushed they must look after I've spent my time licking them, suckling them, playing with them. Would they be puffy, I wonder."
A moan escaped both of their lips, their breaths ragged.
"I intend to cover every inch of you with love bites. Some hidden, secret treasures for the two of us. Others on your neck, the top of your breasts, so the world knows you're mine and I've marked you forever."
The possessive glint in his eyes left her reeling. Instinctively she reached for her core, rubbing herself over the fabric of her nightgown. His gaze wandered down, focused on her hand while speeding up the rhythm of his own movements.
"You deserve to be pleasured for hours... I think about it... tasting you... fucking you... burying my face in your cunt... how good you'll feel when I fuck you with my tongue... your clit..." He groaned, his cock slick as he continued to work himself.
Aroused, excited, she closed her eyes, arching her body, stroking herself vigorously until she found the secret, sensitive nub that heightened everything even more. And she thought about Colin caressing her there, kissing her there, making love to her as he promised. His guttural groan rung in her ear, ecstasy rippling through her body when his wet fingers sidled up to her own to tease her clit, his cock brushing against it. The reality of his touch was so much more erotic than her own imagination. She was completely lost in madness, everything rushing to a head before culminating in a white-hot explosion in her mind.
The world was abliss.
Fire and light danced in her mind.
She was floating, floating, her body boneless, weightless. Most of her life was spent worrying about taking up too much space and now she felt light and airy. Unburdened.
Eyes still closed, she focused on the rhythm of her breaths. One... two... three... She counted them in her mind, clinging to this feeling so it could last forever. But then things slowly started coming into focus, reality taking shape to interrupt her happiness. Sensations burst through, drawing her mind to the world around her. Colin's breaths, slowly retuning to normal. Wetness on her body, between her legs, sticky warmth pooled on her stomach, her chest. Friction from his cock sliding down her clit.
And then emptiness.
Colin was no longer on top of her, his heavy, pleasant weight lifted from her body. An aching loneliness spread through her upon realizing he had left her alone on the bed.
It was bound to happen, this moment was never meant to last. The spell he was under had to break at some point. Maybe it was her own shameless, reckless behavior that expedited the return of his sanity. Once again, she would be relegated back to being just Pen.
She reminded herself this was for the best. Because Arthur-
"Look at me, Pen."
Her eyes flew open, landing on Colin as he took a seat next to her. Clad in his breeches, his shirt bunched up in his hand, the sheer beauty of him stole her breath. It took all of her resolve not to stare at his broad shoulders, the soft, crinkling of hair spread across his chest. And then he shifted closer, startling her when he started to wipe her chest with his shirt because he had spilled his seed all over her body. "I like you like this. My cum on you, my clothing soaked in your wetness. It's as it should be."
His words made her blush. "You should leave, Colin."
The haunted glint in his eyes returned immediately. "I can't." There was desperation in his voice as he lied down beside her, cupping her face. "Let me stay here tonight, Pen?"
"You know that can't happen. If we were to be discovered-"
"I'll leave before the sun rises. I swear it." Distress marked his beautiful features, his eyes pleading with her. "I'm exhausted. I can't sleep at all. Every time I close my eyes I think of you, I'm filled with anxiety at the thought of losing you... and maybe it's foolish but if you were next to me, if I could hold you, smell you, maybe I could get some rest then. Please, Pen?"
She wanted to hold firm and insist that he leave, but her heart couldn't handle the anguish he was in. "Only for tonight, this can not happen again. And you must leave before dawn breaks."
Relief flooded over his face. He leaned forward to graze her temple, his lips gentle on her skin.
She hesitated, stiffening as he pulled her against his chest. His heated skin seemed to burn through her senses, overwhelming her with his close proximity. While a part of her yearned to wrap herself around him, place her head on his chest, listen to his heartbeat, embrace him fully, she reminded herself to hold back. This was a fantasy. This couldn't last.
"I've dreamt about you sleeping next to me." His voice was a hushed murmur, his eyes a soft, dreamy blue.
She covered his mouth with her palm. "Sleep, Colin. It'll be dawn soon."
The corner of his eyes crinkled when he smiled. He pulled her hand away, placing it over his heart. "Goodnight, Pen."
Gathered in his arms, she stayed quiet as the minutes passed. Soon he was fast asleep, but she wasn't as fortunate.
Guilt saturated her mind, refusing to give her a moment of peace.
She was angry with Colin, but mostly at herself. She had made the decision to marry Arthur, giving her a pathway to pursue other hopes and dreams, and with simply a few seductive words from Colin and her own selfishness, it all came tumbling down. She risked her carefully crafted future, because she couldn't resist love.
She took a deep breath, her stomach coiled into knots.
Regardless of the consequences, Arthur needed to know the truth about what happened tonight. He deserved that at the very least, she had to be honest with him.
And then she had to come to terms with the fact that she had ruined her future.