Jungkook's POV
I sit in the last row of the history class, anxiously looking at the doors with my textbook and assignment notebook sitting on the nearby chair, the chair near the window. Students pour into the class like colonies of ants, each one taking a seat at their respective chairs along with their partner.
The class fills in no time and I sigh looking down at my feet. I had a little hope that Taehyung would come today. But now I lost it. He isn't going to come. How could I expect him to class after yesterday's events?
Yesterday he got hurt badly. We beat him almost to death. We were about to go out for a party when he jumped in front of us. I didn't actually want to go but I couldn't say 'no' as I already avoided two parties last week.
I was the first one to notice Taehyung. I prayed they won't see him and he'll walk away quickly. But things happened against my wish. Taehyung wasn't observing his surroundings. He was walking very slowly, looking down at the ground. And unfortunately, Namra correctly noticed him.
I didn't sleep last night. I know Taehyung would never forgive me for this. And I don't deserve forgiveness.
But I was trying to help him. I honestly didn't want to hurt him. Donghyuk was beating him with such force that I was afraid he would get his eyes or ears permanently damaged. That's why I interrupted Donghyuk.
I only had the intention to somehow save Taehyung. But he was being too stubborn. He could have simply agreed to do the work instead of taking all those beats. I pleaded with him but he didn't agree.
When I beat him the second time, I could see his dizzy eyes rolling backward. I was sure he'd pass out with one more slap. So I brought the last slap hard on his cheek and he passed out. That was the only way I found to help him. They would leave him alone, only if he lose consciousness.
“Guys, he passed out,” I turned and told them, holding his body firmly to the car's bonnet, so that he won't fall.
Hyunwoo sighed. “What to do now?”
“Let's take him to hospital,” I said.
“Hospital? Are you mad?” Namra asked. “Just leave him there. He would get back his consciousness after a while.”
“Yeah..C'mon, let's go,” Donghyuk said. “Move him from there,” he said whilst walking towards the driver's seat of the Mercedes. Apparently, it was his car. Though Namra has a car, she rarely brings it to school. Donghyuk is the one who picks her from home every day and drops her back at home. Hyunwoo and Haein are staying at the dorm but they aren't roommates.
“If something happens to him, we'll be in trouble,” I said.
“Nothing will happen to him,” Haein sighed. “And Hyunwoo will take care if something happens. C'mon now, we are getting late to the party.”
“I'll take him to the nurse then,” I said and took Taehyung into my arms after taking his bag from his shoulder and hauling it on my back. His lips were bleeding and his left cheek was bright red with a bruise just under his eyes.
“Hey! Don't do foolishness,” Hyunwoo almost yelled.
“Guys, look he passed out. And I'm the one responsible for this. He passed out when I beat him. I don't want something serious to happen to him and I obviously don't want to go to jail,” I said.
“Jungkook..you're crazy,” Namra shook her head in annoyance. “Just drop that thing somewhere already. Yuck!” she said looking at Taehyung who was lying in my arms.
“No. I'm taking him to Nurse,” I said and started walking with him in my arms.
“Hey! What are you doing? You're being stupid,” Donghyuk yelled, rolling down the window of his car.
“You all don't need to worry. I'll take the whole responsibility for this,” I shouted back and walked.
“Oh fuck Jungkook! Are you coming to the Party?” Namra screamed.
“No need to wait for me. Send me the address. I'll come if possible,” I yelled back and continued walking. I heard all of them cursing and growling as I walked away.
Taehyung opened his eyes before I reached the nurse. I was then walking through the empty corridors of C block, leading to our clinic.
Taehyung looked at me through half-lidded eyes and then smiled. I stopped walking and looked at him confused. He parted his bleeding lips. “Hyung..f..finally..I- I’ve reached...” he paused and opened his eyes wide. “NO! Jungkook, p..put me down!” he yelled looking around.
“Taehyung, I'm taking you to the nurse,” I said as he squirmed in my arms. “Please, I'm trying to help you.”
“Enough with your help! P..Put me down!” he screamed furiously and squirmed out of my arms, hitting the hard floor and groaning in pain.
“Taehyung, are you okay? I'm so sorry,” I said in fear.
“G..Get lost!” he growled sitting up and leaning to the wall of the corridor whilst biting hard on his already bleeding bottom lip.
“Taehyung...please...”
“Leave!” he yelled furiously. I didn't utter a word after that. I turned and walked a little away from him. Then sat down on the veranda, waiting for him to calm down. Because I knew he won't be able to walk alone to his dorm, considering he got punches on his stomach.
Taehyung hugged his knees to his chest and buried his face in between them. He was probably crying, his body was shivering slightly. Guilt bore its teeth into me as I sat there observing him. The whole ten minutes he sat like that.
Then he slowly lifted his head and wiped his face. He winced as he tried to stand up and I quickly stood up, rushing to him. But he managed to stand up before I reached him.
“I'll walk you to dorm,” I said grabbing his hands.
“No need!” he said through gritted teeth, yanking away my hands. “I hate you! I hate you the most!” His brown eyes were hard and cold as he said those words. For some reason, it hurt me a lot. He walked away as I stood there frozen, feeling a heavy weight over my chest.
After all that, it was foolish of me to expect him to class today.
**
Last hour was arts. Arts teacher Miss Do just told us to draw a scenery. I wasn't in a mood to draw and I ended up drawing my typical sketch of a river with cherry blossom on one side and a blurry ashy hill behind. But it wasn't bad. I got an A for it.
I'm somewhat good at drawing and that's why I choose arts as my elective subject. My Dad apparently draws well. He has done a few exhibitions of his artworks and all. Okay, let me agree he's a great artist and that's probably how Moon and I got the talent. I only got a very small part of it but I know Moon has got it all. She already draws well and I’m sure she'll become a really great artist when she grows up.
The last bell rang a few minutes ago and currently I'm hastily heading towards Taehyung's dorm. I was genuinely worried about him during the history class and I tried calling him after that. He answered my call after I tried a lot of times. His response was cold. He told me not to call him again and I don't need to care whether he is alright. Just that and he ended the call.
But I was relieved. At least he was fine. Probably he now hates me like he said yesterday. But I need to check up on him and make sure he's really okay. Also, I badly need to talk to him and apologize for yesterday. I'm not sure whether he'd open the door for me or not. I need to somehow convince him to open the door. I can't let him miss his classes because of me.
I increase my pace and hurriedly walk out of the school building. The outside was noisy and crowded considering the bell just rang a few minutes ago. A group of girls, those from the cheerleading team, who were standing at the parking, call out to me and wave at me as I pass them. I just wave back and quickly walk in direction of the Dorm building.
“Hey Jungkook!”
It's Donghyuk. I sigh and stop, turning around to see Donghyuk walking to me along with Noh Gayeong, who has her dainty hands latched across his right arm while she wears an excited smile on her makeup-clad face. Gayeong is also in the cheerleading team and she is often Donghyuk's hook up. And right now I know why they are approaching me.
“Are you going to the dorm?” Donghyuk asks me with a smug smile.
“Yeah..” I nod, hiding my annoyance.
“Why? C'mon dude, I can't seriously understand what you are doing inside there alone after reaching back so early? Now C'mon, give us your key and go have a ride with Namra. She brought her car today,” Donghyuk says before tilting his head to Gayeong and smirking at her. She flashes back a seductive smile.
“Okay..here,” I say nonchalantly, fishing out my dorm key from my pocket and handing it to Donghyuk. I know I can't protest. So, it's better I just give them the key. And this often happens and I'm used to it.
“Place this in the room,” I say shrugging off my bag and Gayeong immediately takes it. “But guys, I need to meet with history teacher Mr. Kim now. So I don't think I can spend time with Namra,” I then say.
“Why the hell he needs to see you now?” Donghyuk asks.
“I don't know. I slept in his class,” I say. Donghyuk is about to say something but then Gayeong tugs on his arm and hurries to go to the dorm.
“Okay dude, then we'll leave now. Come back only after an hour,” Donghyuk says.
“Hmm.,” I nod with a forced smirk, and then they excitedly hurry with my key to my dorm like two bitches in heat. I leave a sigh and then walk in direction of Taehyung's dorm.
I reach in front of Taehyung's room and lightly knock on the door. I hear footsteps inside and the door opens after a few seconds. My mouth drop open on seeing his face. The skin under his right eye has blackened where there's a small bruise in the center. His bottom lips too are bruised at the side. His eyes are swollen red and his hair is a mess. His previously gorgeous face now looks pale and lifeless. He looks horrible, pathetically weak. I instantly look away, guilt building up in my stomach.
“What do you w..want?” Taehyung scoffs cold.
“uhmm...I..Tae..Taehyung..I..,” I stammer in loss of words, looking back at his terrible face. He looks at me blankly. “You didn't attend school today. I- I came to...”
Taehyung cuts me off. “Why are you nows stammering like the stupid me? Where's your f..friends? Call them. C'mon, come punch me!” he says furiously and his words stab my heart. It makes me feel even more pathetic.
“Taehyung, I'm sorry,” I say biting on my lips. I see his hands fisting into balls while his teeth grit together tightly in exasperation. Then he suddenly steps back and forcefully closes the door.
A scream leaves my throat as the door powerfully hits my palm. I had placed my hand on the door frame in an unintelligent attempt to prevent him from shutting the door on me. Taehyung instantly pulls the door back in alarm while I withdraw my hand and shake it, yelping and crying in excruciating pain that shoots through my whole arm.
“J..Jungkook..wh..what did you do? Are you okay?” Taehyung asks in fear and concern, which surprise me. I bite my lip trying to silently endure the pain. Taehyung then grabs my left hand and hurriedly pulls me inside, closing the door. He then drags me with him to the bathroom. He opens the washbasin tap and makes me hold my hand under it. I wince slightly.
“Why the hell did you d..do that?” he asks.
“I wanted to talk to you,” I say.
He shakes his head in exasperation. “Why the hell do you want to t..talk to me?”
“I'm sorry Taehyung,” I say.
“Why? Why are you sorry? You are again g..going to bully me tomorrow. Then why?”
“Do you hate me?”
“Yeah, I hate you!” he sneers.
I press my lips together and look at the running water, splashing forcefully on my palm, causing a kind of piercing pain on my now swollen fingers. But it's nothing compared to the pain I feel in my heart. It's kind of strange. Why should I care if this guy I met last day hates me?
Maybe it's the realization that a lot of people like him, whom I bullied along with my supposed friends, hate me. I'm a hated bully. I don't want to be.
“You know, I don't want all this to happen. But I can't do anything,” I admit desperately, not daring to look up at Taehyung's face.
“Then why are you here? S..stop this bullshit, Jungkook!” Taehyung scoffs, really angry.
“I- I don't know,” I reply. “But I'm sorry.”
“I don't want your s..sorry. You're a coward! A bigger coward than me! Aren't you ashamed to s..say sorry after beating me to death yesterday? H..How long are you gonna tell me sorry?” he asks. My mouth doesn't open as I don't have any reply. I know what he said is right. I'm a fucking coward. What's the point in saying sorry after bullying him, that too when I'm definitely gonna bully him again soon?
Taehyung then closes the tap and grabs my hands. I wince as he gently touches my swollen fingers. “Come,” he says and walks out of the bathroom. I follow him behind as he goes to a cupboard, opens it, and produces a first aid box out of it. “Sit there,” he points to the bed. I comply feeling surprised. How cruel of me to hurt a precious little soul like him?
He walks to me with the box, rummaging inside it, taking different ointments and reading the labels carefully. He places the box on the mattress beside me after taking a yellow coloured tube of ointment. I watch amusedly as he read through whatever that is written on it's backside, standing just in front of me, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
“Show your h..hands,” he finally says bending down and opening the cap on the tube. I stretch my hand forward and he firmly holds on my wrist with his right hand before starting to gently apply the white cream on my fingers with his left hand forefinger. I bite on my lips as his fingers featherly brush against my swollen ones.
I feel a lot of strange emotions as I study him carefully, continuing the task, trying not to hurt me. His lips are pressed together and his eyes are focused solely on my fingers as his long eyelashes flutter across his bruised cheeks. Pain builds up in my chest while I also feel tingles erupting in my stomach. How can he behave like this to me after I hurt him mercilessly yesterday? Taehyung, why don't you just squeeze my fingers and give me some pain?
Finally, he bends up detaching his long beautiful fingers from mine and I want him to continue touching my fingers for some more time. But he takes the cap of the ointment and closes it, looking everywhere else but at my face.
However, I continue to stare at him. I admit I have something for this boy that I've never felt for anyone. I don't know what it is but after seeing him last day, I can't stop thinking about him or I can't get his face out of my mind. And now I can't help but stare shamelessly at him when he's standing in front of me, so close to me.
“You may go now,” He finally utters. “Don't come here again. And f..find someone else to be your partner for history.”
“Please be my partner,” I quickly say.
“I don't want to!” he snaps. “G..Get out now!”
“Taehyung..please..,” I look at him pleadingly.
“Get lost I said!” he repeats angrily.
I nod and get up feeling desperate. I then walk to the door and open it. Before I exit, I turn my face and look at Taehyung. He instantly looks away. “Bye,” I say and walk out feeling sadder than ever in my life. I feel tears prick the corner of my eyes as I hop down the steps leading to the dorm. Why the hell am I feeling this all of a sudden? I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. But I feel like crying.
I walk to the football ground and slump down on a side bench feeling frustrated. I don't know why Taehyung is affecting me so much. Am I actually gay or something? Do I like Taehyung? No! How can I like a boy? Fuck No!
And what will happen if they find I'm gay!?
I ruffle my hair in frustration and rub my cheeks harshly.
I don't know what to do now. What should I do? Should I speak against my so-called friends for Taehyung? I don't know what will happen to me if I do that. They'll label me gay. They'll make my life a hell. I'll have to run away from here before I graduate. Do I want that?
I need to somehow graduate from here with an athletic football scholarship. I'm not that good at studies. So, sports is the only means by which I can get enrolled into a reputed college next year. Should I now risk my career and life for a boy I met yesterday? And what can I benefit from rebelling against the bullies? I'll only lose. They'll just make my and Taehyung's life more terrible.
Yes! I'm just gonna ignore everything like I did all this time. I got trapped, so now I need to wait until the trap naturally breaks away. Just one more year and it's over. Let them do whatever they want to anyone. I'll make my heart a stone and stand along with them. Taehyung or anyone shouldn't affect me. I shouldn't let anyone ruin my life and future. Taehyung is just an ordinary boy. He doesn’t mean anything to me. I won't think about Taehyung anymore.