Namjoon's POV. -
I sighed while playing with the paperweight. I don't know how I am living my past days. My eyes are on the papers but my whole attention is somewhere else. It's always with her.
When I left that day, I left my heart with her. I can feel it. I haven't heard my heart beating since then. Every time my phone buzzes, I feel hesitant to look at it. Because I know it must be her message. She has called me numerous times but I didn't answer. But she didn't give up. She has not missed a single good morning and good night text. And even added some extra words to encourage me. I read everything but couldn't reply to her.
And now everything was getting over my head. My body feels numb. The urge to hear her voice made my heart ache. I haven't heard her giggles and teasing words. My life feels empty.
I don't know what will be the outcome of this, but one thing I realised is that I've fallen for her. Very hard.
I sighed again and laid my head back on the chair. Tomorrow is her birthday. I had prepared so many things. But there are still two more days to finish the 7 days. I can't believe I'm following this stupid rule. And it clearly means that I'm missing her birthday.
"Argh!!!"
I groaned and held my head. It was late evening. I was still sitting in my office room. I have no energy to do anything. I just want to hold her in my arms and embrace her warmth. It feels so empty without her. I want to kiss her and whisper to her how much she means to me. I want to show her how much I love her. I want to hold her in my arms for the whole night until she falls asleep.
I just want to be with her.
I wonder what she must be doing. She has been messaging me all the while. She told me every small detail of her day. When she goes I college, when she comes back, what she cooked, how she feels, what painting she made, everything. And I'm being a jerk, didn't even reply to her text.
I should not have agreed to this.
I scratched and shook my head before standing up from the chair. I took my coat and left the office. Driving back, I reached home. The lights were off which means everyone was asleep. I sighed and started to walk towards my room but my steps halted when I saw the lights turning on. I squinted my eyes and turned around to find Mom standing near the stairs. I smiled weakly making her walk towards me with a worried look.
"Namjoon, why are so late? Was there something important?"
She asked making me nod lightly. She cupped my cheek to make me look at her.
"Something happened?"
She asked with a soft voice. I just smiled a little and shook my head trying to convince her.
"You are coming home late, not eating your meals on time and even haven't slept well. I know there's something wrong. And as a mother, I can guess that it's about Y/N."
She said making me raise my eyes and blink. She smiled seeing my wide eyes and caressed my shoulder.
"It's okay to have difficulties in a relationship. But don't let them make a crack. She's far from you. She must be feeling scared and alone. If something happens, try to understand her. Don't hurt her. A heart is very hard to heal again once it is shattered."
Her words made me inhale deeply and hug her. She patted my back and I felt a little calm after such a long time. I stayed like that for a moment before getting away. She smiled and kissed my forehead before wishing me good night. I came back to my room and laid on the bed.
Her smiling face was roaming in front of my eyes. The day when I last saw her, she was glowing differently. The way she kissed me and hugged me, I felt fear in her. She was afraid to let go of me. Honestly, I was more afraid, because I didn't know if I'd be able to hold her again.
What if Felix is right? What if she doesn't love me and is just attracted to me? Will she regret after realising her true feelings?
My phone dinged taking me out of my thoughts. I took it and opened the messages. My eyes turned moist seeing her text. I sighed loudly and closed my eyes.
"I'm sorry sweetheart."
I got up and went to the bathroom to freshen up. I took a long, relaxing shower to calm my nerves. Tomorrow is her birthday. I will not be able to talk with her or wish her. But after that, these things will be over and then I'll shower her with all the love I missed in these 7 days. I will not give her a single chance to complain.
I smiled and walked out of the bathroom. I again lay on the bed and took my phone. Staring at my wallpaper which was her picture during our engagement ceremony, I smiled softly. The clock strikes 12 making me close my eyes and recall her face.
"Happy birthday sweetheart."
I whispered clutching my phone tightly in my hand.
Just a little more love. Then I will not leave you alone ever again.
The next day, I got ready for the office. I went downstairs and saw Mom preparing the breakfast. She smiled at me and I went towards her. I wished her morning and informed her about my meeting.
"Mom, I have an early morning meeting. I'll have breakfast there."
She looked at me with squinted eyes.
"Meeting? I thought you were free today."
I scrunched my face seeing her reaction. She huffed and folded her arms.
"Don't tell me Namjoon, you forget Y/N's birthday."
She said making me sigh and shake my head.
"I didn't forget Mom. Don't worry."
I smiled and she gave me an unsure look. I left to go to the office. I reached the meeting room and saw Jin hyung was present there. He was going through the papers that we needed for the meeting.
"Good morning hyung."
I wished making him glance at me and hum. I sighed seeing him ignore me. He has been like that since I told him about Felix and the deal between us. He said that it was stupid and I shouldn't have agreed. I don't know how to make him understand my point of view. I just want the best for her.
I sat beside him and started to read the file.
"So you're not even wishing her birthday?"
He asked in a dry tone making me gulp and stay silent. He glanced at me and sighed heavily before loudly shutting the file. I flinched a little and looked towards him.
"Namjoon-ah, this is stupid. You know how much it can hurt her feelings. And if she has anything for you, then it's even worse. She must be expecting something. You are crushing her hopes."
I stared at him blankly. He was right. But...
My phone buzzed making me look away and took it out of my pocket. I expected it to be Y/N's call but seeing the unknown number I frown. Answering it, I placed it on my ear.
"Hello?"
"Hello. Is this...Namjoon?"
The familiar voice made me shuffle in my place but I couldn't grasp who it was.
"Yes. Who's this?"
I said suddenly feeling a little heavy in my chest.
"Felix."
My body froze as I blinked my eyes to comprehend.
"Felix?"
I muttered making Jin hyung look at me surprised. He raised an eyebrow while looking at me making me gulp.
"Yeah. Can you...can you come here...right now?"
I felt a strong shiver running down my spine hearing his voice filled with sadness and grief and I closed my eyes before scratching my forehead.
"Please say Y/N is fine."
I mumbled pleadingly. I wanted to hear it. His call means something was wrong. My whole body was shivering as he took a long pause making me stop breathing.
"She's...not."
I huffed loudly and stood from my place. Jin hyung also stood up following me. He looked at me confused and worried. I sighed and gulped.
"I'm coming."
I informed him and cut the call. Jin hyung just looked at me. I opened my mouth to speak but he patted my shoulder.
"It's okay. You go, I'll handle everything here."
I gave him a thankful gaze before storming out of the room. I called my secretary to book an urgent flight for me. I didn't thoughts of going home or anything. I just directly went to the airport. The flight was after half an hour. My secretary came to the airport to give me my passport, ticket and my luggage.
"You didn't have to."
I said but he smiled and shook his head.
"Seokjin sir told me to."
I huffed and nodded. He left and I entered inside. Boarding the flight, I sat impatiently waiting for the flight to take off. My feet were shaking in nervousness. The plane finally took off and I sighed. Playing with the ring, I kept chanting in my mind.
Please be fine my love.
It turned late afternoon until I reached Seoul. And when I was standing in front of her dorm, it was almost evening. I huffed and ran inside the building with hasty steps.
Ringing the doorbell, I waited for someone to open the door. I felt my heartbeat coming back as I stood in front of the door. My hands were shaking as I thought of the worst things. I closed my eyes and shook my head.
No. Nothing happened. She's fine. Think positive.
My eyes snapped open as I heard the door opening sound. I looked up to find a girl standing at the door. My eyes squinted a little looking at her. She looked at me up and down before parting her lips.
"Namjoon-shi?"
She asked hesitantly. I nodded and she huffed before moving aside.
"Come in."
I gulped and stepped inside the house. My eyes raked around to see many unfamiliar faces before I looked at Felix. His face was washed off as if he cried. I tried not to get affected and walked towards him.
"Where's Y/N?"
I asked in a strict voice. He sighed and pointed towards the stairs. I didn't wait for another second before running towards her room. Opening the door, my heart settled down when I got a glimpse of her. But it was just for a second. I felt my eyes burning as I saw her laying in her bed and covered in a comforter. I hastily walked towards her and saw another girl sitting beside her. She saw me and stood up to move aside.
I carefully sat beside her figure. She looked pale and weak. I took a shuddering breath before slowly caressing her cheek with the back of my hand. I flinched at her temperature. She was burning. I turned towards the girl.
"What happened to her?"
The girl also looked pale and had tear stains. She gulped and looked down. I sigh seeing her lips quivering. I looked back at my love laying on the bed. There was no glow on her face. I felt my heart aching to see her state.
I should not have left her alone.
I thought and closed my eyes to not let my tears fall. I inhaled before opening my eyes and gently feathering her cheek. Her eyes wrinkled making me shift closer.
"Sweetheart."
I muttered in a low voice. She moved her head a little before bringing her hand to her head. She held her forehead and parted her lips but couldn't say anything. My heart twisted seeing a lone tear slipping from her eyes.
"Namjoon."
"Shh!!! Calm down, sweetheart. I'm here"
I mumble while holding her hand. I caressed her forehead a little. As I stared at her more, I could see her swollen eyes and withered face. She calmed down and again went unconscious.
"She's...under the effect of medicine."
The girl spoke making me nod. I didn't look away from her and took her hand in mine. I brought it close to my lips before kissing the back of her hand.
"I'm so sorry."
I mumble seeing her. My heart was beating so loudly. I lowered my gaze to her hand and my eyes turned teary.
She was wearing our engagement ring.
I parted my lips to inhale a deep breath. I didn't know how to feel about it. She accepted it. She wore the ring. But I left her alone. I left her to suffer. I closed my eyes and let the tears fall. I sat there for a while. When I was sure that she was sleeping peacefully, I kissed her forehead and got up. The girl was no longer in the room. Maybe she left us alone. I sighed and wiped my tears. Taking a deep breath, I brought a rigid expression to my face before walking out of the room. I closed the door and came downstairs.
My sight fell on each face in the hall, before I looked towards Felix. He was standing by the wall. I walked towards him. He looked at me and straightened his posture. I could see the guilt on his face. I stood in front of him and folded my hands.
"What happened to her?"
I asked in a stiff and deep voice making him lower his head.
"I'm...sorry."
He muttered in a breaking voice.
"What happened to her?"
I asked again making him sigh before speaking.
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