NOTE: This special Chapter takes place before Uea and King got together.
I had first met P'Jade at the market near the office on a busy Monday morning.
MONTHS BEFORE
I am Phakin. I was studying in the Department of Communication, Art and Design, at the Faculty of Architecture. I was going into my fourth year and was supposed to join the cooperative education program for a semester. Before that I had sent an application for an internship in a private company in Phrom Phong and the company had accepted me. In the next two weeks I would start the internship. That day I had to pick up my brother's camera that had been repaired at a shop near the office, so I thought I should check out the company.
I was supposed to stay there for a few months, so I should start getting to know that area. The camera store wasn't open yet, so this was a nice time to walk around and kill time.
I parked the car in a supermarket parking lot and then walked around to survey the area. I arrived at the lively area with tall buildings on both sides of the street. Many employees passed me, probably in a hurry to clock out. I smiled a little thinking that after two weeks my routine would be the same as theirs.
College was kind of a simulation of the real world. The internship would get me out of that safe zone and I would finally know what would happen after I graduated. After seeing many seniors complain on Facebook about what they had to go through, I knew the real world probably wasn't so nice.
But I was also sure that it wouldn't be bad at all.
I wandered until I reached an alley with several buildings on either side. Many street food stalls and small shops were full of customers. I looked at a noodle shop, then heard a scream.
"Get out! Dirty dog! Do you want to take a kick?!"
The hateful voice made everyone around me turn and look over there. I got a little closer and saw the grilled pork seller throwing a stone at a battered puppy.
"Let him go. He's just a puppy." said the vendor from the nearby stall, only to be called back by the woman.
"Easier for you to say. This fucking dog didn't ruin your booth. Get out! Get out!"
I saw her take pieces of coal from a sack to throw them at the puppy. The little dog was starving and trembling with fear. I ran towards him to help him, but someone was faster than me. A boy came in and grabbed the puppy, hugging him to his chest.
"Please don't hurt him. I'll take him away."
A reassuring voice belonged to the person who had come in to pick up the puppy. He was wearing a blue shirt with pants. He looked like a Thai-Chinese man judging by those cute little eyes. He was probably one of the employees in that area.
"You'll take him out and he'll be right back for my fucking pig! You can't talk to a fucking dog!"
"He's probably hungry. Please relax." he said calmly. His hands were trying to calm the frightened puppy. The shirt he was wearing that was neat and clean was now dirty.
When the people around me saw that the show was over, they started to lose interest and left. I was still there, a little away from him. He asked the angry seller to buy some grilled pork and smiled wearily at her as he paid. After getting the pork, he hurriedly took the dog to a nearby alley.
I should have left it all alone now, but my two feet followed before I even knew it.
What will he do now?
The guy stopped on the sidewalk and reached down, trying to get the grilled pork off the stick. Then he told the puppy to stay still, gave him the pig and the puppy wriggled out of his arms to eat the pig with voracity. I saw him smile as the puppy began wagging his tail happily.
I didn't know why, but I smiled when I saw him.
That boy watched the puppy finish all the pig and picked him up again. He looked a little worried before heading towards another alley.
He probably had to let him go pretty far from there, because if he went back to that alley, he would get hurt.
I followed him with curiosity since he hadn't left the dog yet, then I saw him stop in front of a pharmacy. He spoke friendly to a lady who appeared to be the owner of the pharmacy. They seemed to know each other quite well.
I didn't get close enough to them to hear what they were saying, but from their gestures and from the lady who had taken the puppy into her arms, I guessed that he had probably asked her to take care of the puppy temporarily.
"Shit!" he shouted after looking at his watch and panicked. "P'Na, see you after work!"
"Everything is fine. Hurry up and get to work." said the pharmacy owner.
The boy thanked her and ran to my side. I smiled a little as I watched him run further away.
He had saved the puppy from being hurt, bought him food, and left him with someone he trusted so he wouldn't get hurt again. He could have simply ignored the puppy, but he didn't.
He seems like a really nice person. This... he had impressed me.
I walked back the way I came, then looked at the other employees. He probably works in an office around here. Maybe I'll meet him again here at the market.
I wasn't sure what I would do if I had the chance to see him again. Maybe I would have just stared. Maybe I would have had the courage to smile at him and say hello.
But for sure, I really want to see it again.
********
Even though I hoped so, I never thought my wish would come true in the next two weeks.
It was the first day of my internship. I was in the office and was following the manager to each department to say hello to everyone. Bas, who was the head of my department, received a call from his boss, so I stood there and waited, while all the eyes of the employees were staring at me.
I had been self-conscious about my appearance and why I was stared at all the time since I was in high school. Even though it happened all the time, I never got used to it enough without feeling uncomfortable.
I smiled politely at him and looked away. I was standing near the entrance. The wall was decorated with several projects and photos of the employees I would soon be working with. I looked at each photo then my eyes spotted a familiar face.
Jadenifat Tangtrakarn.
I stared at the photo and repeated that name in my head. I smiled as my heart beat a little faster with joy. He was the man I had seen two weeks earlier, and he was also a graphic designer I had to work with.
Coincidences exist. Maybe I should call it faith. And the world is such a small place.
"Are you a new intern?" A deep voice called my eyes away from the photo.
"Yes." I said as I looked at the tall boy who seemed to be the same height as me. He was so handsome that if someone had told me he was an actor, I wouldn't have been surprised.
"In which department?" he asked. Those sharp eyes looked into my face as if he were studying me.
I smiled politely, "IT Department."
"Perfect. Me too. I'm King, a programmer."
"My name is Mai. Nice to meet you, P'King." I greeted him.
He nodded and looked at the photo I was looking at. "Do you know him?"
"Yes?"
"I saw you were staring at Jade earlier." he explained.
I looked at the photo and laughed a little shyly.
"It just seems familiar. I've probably seen it somewhere before."
"I understand. I thought you'd had love at first sight."
King smiled mischievously. I was a little stunned by the way he was making fun of someone he had met just a minute before. He probably saw my expression, because he laughed and brought his face closer to mine.
"Or if you actually did, he's still single. Do you want my help?"
"It's just that I'm..."
"Oh, Mr. Khunakorn. Have you just arrived?"
The director interrupted our conversation and King turned to greet him.
"I've been here a while, sir. I was asking for a new USB stick from the administrator. I saw a new intern, so I came to say hello."
"Oh good. He is also in IT. I will take it to the bosses and then to your department."
"OK sir."
King looked at me. He gave me a firm pat on the shoulder as he raised his eyebrows and walked away.
"See you around, kid."
"All right. Never, follow me. Let's see the superiors before we get to work." said the manager.
I followed him and said goodbye to everyone, then they took me to the IT department where I would remain as an intern for another four months.
"This year, the IT department has only one intern to work with graphic designers. Here, introduce yourself to your seniors." the manager said as everyone else in the room started chatting when they saw me.
"Hello, my name is Phakin Shaopaphakorn. You can call me Mai. It's a pleasure to meet you all." I greeted everyone with a smile, then looked around.
He was standing over there, staring at me. His clear white face looked a little curious. I stared at him again, trying my best not to smile.
But it seemed to make my heart beat even faster.
"Well, you'd better take care of him. Who is his supervisor? "
"This year it is Jadeniphat's responsibility, sir."
"Yes-" the owner of that name said, then paused.
I looked at King who sat in the back. He raised his eyebrow at his friend, then turned back to me and smirked.
I understand.It seemed like he was helping me like he said.
"So you'll be the one to take care of him, huh? Then you better do it right, okay? I have a meeting coming up, see you later." Bas said and pushed me to Jade who looked all confused.
I felt like someone was staring at me, so I turned to see a handsome man sitting next to Jade's desk. His expression was... cold and unwelcoming. Those round eyes stared at me as if he was trying to see inside me.
It seemed like I had been looking at Jade for so long it was suspicious.
"Well, for these next four months, I will look forward to coming to the office every day." one woman said with a giggle. I just smiled back and heard King say, "He just got here and you're already starting to flirt with him? I think you'll forget me now that you have someone new and so brilliant."
"Oh, come on. You will always have a special place in my heart, but there are four in total. Mai is taking over another. Hi, my name is Fai, it's so nice to meet you."
"Stop, before I run away in fear." Finally, Jade sensed it and got up from his chair to stand in front of me.
Now that we were standing side by side, I could see the difference in our heights. He was only a little taller than my shoulder, so he had to look up to talk to me. Those eyes looked so bright I could almost see my reflection in them.
It's adorable.
"My name is Jade. Here near me is Uea. We are graphic designers. Actually, there's another one, 'Mongkon,' but he took the day off." Jade explained.
I greeted him quickly, then gave him the smile I was waiting to give him.
"Hi guys."
"Make yourself at home. Oh, and I'm not your supervisor. My friend was just joking. Your supervisor is..."
"Let it go. We already told the manager. Take care of him." said the man who was looking at me before.
Jade seemed to be speechless. When that senior, Uea, looked at me, his eyes were still trying to understand me. I smiled just to be polite.
After listening to their conversation, it seemed like Uea was supposed to be the one who would take care of me, but because of King, it was now Jade who had to do it, which made me feel lucky. Now that I could see him, what I would do next was learn more about him.
********
While Jade was struggling to find me some work equipment, I took the opportunity to observe and understand him. He had pale white skin with only a couple of barely visible acne scars on his face. He had thin lips and a small nose. His eyes seemed focused as he created a business email account for me. I assumed he was considered normal, but looking at him made me feel relaxed. His voice was also gentle and calm, making me inexplicably at ease.
Something about him attracted me to get closer, to want to get to know him better.
Before I knew it, I was dragging my chair towards him and placing my laptop on his desk. The space between us shrank every time I asked him about work.
I hope he hasn't figured out my true intentions yet.
"How old are you, Mai?" Jade asked as we waited for lunch to be served.
"I'm twenty-one years old. And you guys...?"
"Twenty seven." Jade said on behalf of all three.
I was a little surprised. Even though I knew he probably had experience, considering how he had taught me the job in the morning, it seemed like he was still in college.
"And you? Do you have a girlfriend or boyfriend?" he asked me after a funny argument with King. I looked up into his bright eyes and replied, "No, I'm not with anyone right now."
"It's a lie. Does a good-looking guy like you really have no one?"
"I don't get along very well with other people. No love interest. I also have few friends." I told him honestly, but one thing I had hidden from him was that...
Now I really want one.
**********
In the afternoon I began to take my work seriously and also tried to get information about Jade by asking him directly or listening to other people's conversation. After a while I realized that my supervisor was simple and calm. He was funny and loved by his colleagues. It suited his appearance.
He is truly someone who makes me feel relaxed.
"Come on, Mai. He's going home." Jade caressed me when work hours were over.
I stood up, turned off the computer, and looked at my supervisor next to me. It was a shame that a good day had passed so quickly.
"Where do you guys live?" I asked as I followed the three seniors towards the elevator.
"King's apartment is near Si Lom. The one in Uea is near Sathorn. Mine is a little far from here, Lat Krabang." Jade replied.
As soon as I heard that he lived in Lat Krabang, my heart blossomed with happiness.
"My apartment is also in Lat Krabang." I said trying to keep my voice normal. "I have a car. Since we live in the same area, I can give you a lift every day."
"Oh, no. There's no need. Too kind."
"No, actually it's nothing. We're going in the same direction, aren't we? I can take you home." I argued.
He seemed to hesitate, but fortunately King persuaded him to accept and he finally accepted the offer. I turned to look King in the eye to imply a 'Thank you.'
I owe a lot to King today.
On the way home Jade and I began to converse, exchanging stories about ourselves. The more I talked to him, the better I felt about him. I was already impressed with him, now that I was getting closer, I couldn't help but get greedy.
"Mai, can you be honest with me? Don't you really have a girlfriend?" he asked as we were stuck at a red light.
"No I'm single." I repeated what I said and laughed softly because he was so curious about me. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Well, who the hell believes that? You are handsome and have a nice car. Are all the people at your university blind? Or did you just break up with your ex?"
"My last relationship was when I was in seventh grade, so I've been single since I entered college." I started the car again as the red light turned green. "I actually never gave much thought to relationships until...until recently."
I looked at the person next to me. He seemed so curious. I hid my smile as I asked him back: "So... Are you engaged?"
"No. Right now Uea is..." he said, then stopped for a while. "What was your question?"
He blinked repeatedly. His face went blank for a while, and after I repeated my question, he replied, "Oh, um... No."
I laughed softly. Even though King had already told me he was single, it was still better to hear it from him.
The road is clear then.
I approached my apartment. Jade pointed to the sidewalk in front of an apartment building directly across from mine. I was even more amazed by this coincidence. This meant I would have more chances to be around him.
We will go to work together every day, all alone in the car, getting to know each other better.
I tried asking him to come to the office with me the next day. He tried to refuse the offer; Maybe he felt he was being a caring supervisor, but I kept pushing until he gave up. I took the opportunity to get his number, telling him that it would be more convenient if I could call him the following day. He seemed so naive while he wrote down his number on my phone. I felt like I was a wolf luring a bunny or something.
Am I going too hard from day one? I swear I've never been like this or felt like this about anyone before.
"I'll pick you up at seven in the morning, okay? I call you."
"Ok now I go." He greeted me. I left like that, smiling brightly.
At first I just thought it would be nice to see him again, then I wanted to get to know him better, but now...
It seems... like I'm really interested in him.
********
After that day, I picked up Jade every day. We saw each other twelve hours a day, from 7am to 7pm. The more time we spent together, the more I could see how cute he was. He was kind to the people around him: very generous, calm and mature. All this made me like him even more. In just a week, I finally admitted to myself that I really liked it.
I tried to get closer to him, letting him know that I was interested in him. I always bought sweets that he liked for him. Most of the time I bought a lot to share with others in the office too so he wouldn't think I was being too forward. Even though I tried to be calm, Uea, who was his best friend, saw right through me. Those deep light brown eyes always stared at me thoughtfully. He'd never come to talk about it, but he'd never intervened, so I figured he was fine with it in his quiet way.
"Never, so you really have a crush on my friend, right?" King whispered to me one day while Jade was out buying bubble tea after lunch.
"Yes." I said frankly.
King put his arm around my neck and smiled amusedly.
"Ah. Very well. You are a good guy. I will support you."
"Thank you."
"But you see, Jade is very slow. Don't let it get to you, and he tries not to scare him, he scares easily. For now he flirts so sweetly."
He laughed. I could see that he had experience, so he must have known what my actions consisted of.
"All right. I understand."
"Enjoy the party today, but don't even try to get Jade drunk to do whatever the fuck you want. Not that I need to worry about him, because you're a big drinker."
King spoke of a welcome party for me that would take place that evening. I raised my eyebrows in confusion.
"Oh, I never intended that."
"Right. I forgot you're Mr. Nice Guy, not an asshole like me. Well."
He chuckled and let go of my neck after Jade moved back. After seeing Jade and thinking about what King said, I only believed half of what he said. He didn't seem like a heavy drinker.
Until I realized that you can't judge a person by his appearance, because after drinking so much beer, he wasn't drunk at all. I was even more impressed that he didn't even seem dizzy or tipsy. He even went and sang happily with full awareness.
"I told you." King said. He took another big drink, then picked up a bottle of liquor and showed it to me. "He is never, ever, drunk."
"Now I see it." I gave him my glass to fill.
King looked at his friend who was singing and said to me, "Don't be too sad that you can't play the knight in shining armor who saves the drunken damsel. If you want to be with him for a long time tonight, there are still other ways."
"As?" I asked with a laugh, but he looked at me like he had an ace up his sleeve. He pointed to my drink.
"If he's not drunk, then you will be. You see? Simple."
I laughed and looked at the alcoholic drink in my hand, thinking it was a joke at first, but then I drank the entire glass within seconds.
I was a pretty heavy drinker myself. If I didn't drink a lot, I never got drunk.
But what do I get if I get really drunk?...
Maybe I'll get a little tipsy tonight.
**********
Since I was born, I didn't know I could be as smart and cunning as anyone else. Until now that I was with Jade and had learned that these things were absolutely necessary.
"Never."
"Um..."
"Can you hear me?"
"YES..."
"Your apartment building... Which building, which floor, which room?"
I remained silent, letting him think I was too drunk to still be conscious. I felt sorry for Jade who had to carry me all the way back, and not just to my room because I hadn't told him, but to his. I apologized to myself many times.
King's advice had been worth it. Now I was on Jade's bed, hugging the owner of the room who had fallen on top of me.
"Um... P'Jade..." I murmured and hugged him tightly around the waist. My hands touched his skin. I could smell his delicate scent. He tried to run away while I hid my smile.
He was so small that I almost didn't feel his weight on me.
I'm really sorry for this, but please let me stay like this for a little while longer.
Before he knew something was wrong, I finally let him go. I heard his breathing hitch as he stood up and stood on one side of the bed. I thought he would just leave me lying like that for the night, but then I was surprised when he took off my shoes and tie, then he washed my face with a towel. He even wrapped me in a blanket.
The bedroom door closed after he left. I opened my eyes in the darkness, staring at the closed door with warmth in my chest.
He's so thoughtful.
I couldn't be blamed now for having a deeper crush every day.
********
I hadn't been in love for so many years that I almost forgot what the thrill of getting out of bed was like just to see the person I was attracted to. But now that I'd met Jade, everything was starting to come back. I wasn't a workaholic who spent ten hours a day working, but I didn't want the work hours to end. I always tended to keep my distance from other people, but I just wanted to be with Jade as much as possible.
This love had struck me at the age of twenty-one, but it seemed that my target did not want to reciprocate.
I tried to get closer to him at every opportunity. I even invited him to dinner every day and stayed with him overtime. I told him indirectly that I was now interested in him, but he still showed no interest. Those eyes of his sometimes showed curiosity, but never towards me.
King told me it was pretty slow. I thought I was being pretty obvious in how I treated him that was exceptional compared to others, but he continued to act normal, and now I really didn't know how he felt about me.
Does he really not know...or is he just pretending to protect me from getting hurt?
Although I was quite confident in myself, I was a little worried.
"Never."
"YES?"
"He who is in your heart, do not give up on him." he told me one evening while we were stopped at a red light.
I looked at him with shining eyes. "Do you know who I like?"
"Of course I know." he said confidently, giving me hope.
So I decided to take a risk and asked him.
"And... and you... do you think he likes me too?"
"Who wouldn't like you? You're amazing."
He patted me on the shoulder with his thin hand. His smile was like water running down a tree, making it fresh again.
"I never noticed it. He seemed to be so-so with me, so I thought he didn't like me." I said softly, feeling much better.
Jade smiled brightly and said, "Things like that take time. You've only been here two months, so there's not enough time to get to know each other. Making him immediately say that he likes you too is too soon, but I know he's thinking about it. So don't think too much about it and don't give up."
It was hard for me to stop myself from pulling him in for a kiss after hearing those words. If I had, he probably would have been scared. So I could only stare at his rosy lips and smile widely.
"I will never give up. I really like. Really, really a lot."
Now that you know, I'm going full speed ahead.
*********
After Jade indirectly gave me permission, I tried my best to approach him without worrying about whether others would help me. My colleagues often looked at me when I brought them drinks or food. They seemed to know something, but they didn't say it. They would just glance at me and smile. As far as Jade was concerned, everything remained the same: he never rejected me, but he never involved me either. I was satisfied like that.
I still held out hope as long as he agreed to stay alone with me.
And because people in other departments could see through my actions, Jade's best friend Uea saw through it too.
"Never."
Uea called me in a cold voice during the lunch hour of the sports day, when by chance we both found ourselves on the same team.
"YES?"
I looked at him. In the last two months we hadn't talked much, as he was quite reserved. He seemed difficult to approach and he hated being teased, but he was still a great superior. So every time I bought something for Jade, I always got another one for Uea too.
"Do you like Jade?"
The question was short, but it stopped me from taking a bite of my food. I smiled slightly and looked at him.
"Yes I like it."
"From the beginning?"
"I was smitten with him, but after spending time together, I'm pretty sure I'm really attracted to him."
My response made him make a sound, as if he wanted to smile but was trying to hold back.
"You have a big age difference. Aren't you afraid that one day you'll get tired of it and leave him for a younger guy?"
"No, I never thought about leaving him for any reason."
His words sounded doubtful, but they didn't offend me because I knew that Uea cared a lot about his friend, and that was why he said it.
"Words are just words."
"Yes. They're just words, and it's okay if you don't believe me. But I think in time I will prove what I said." I smiled.
He was silent for a while, then patted my arm and put his fried egg in my lunchbox.
"I don't like fried eggs that aren't cooked well. You eat them."
"All right."
"And..." he looked up, a sweet smile appeared on his face, transforming that usually emotionless face into a gentle and sweet expression: "Don't break my friend's heart."
"I will not do that." I said confidently. Uea smiled slightly, then changed the subject.
After that day, I was able to talk to Uea more. He always told me stories about Jade at university, including his likes and dislikes, especially around food. Jade also joked about how much closer I had become to Uea. I just smiled back, happy that both of my crush's best friends had accepted me.
Now, the only heart I had left to win was Jade's.
Despite the support of both of his best friends, I could sense that Jade was acting differently. He refused to look me in the eyes and the feeling of unease was always evident when we were alone. And everywhere we went, Jade invited Uea to join us, even when I would have preferred to be alone with him.
I really didn't understand what was happening. Many times I wanted to ask him directly, but I was afraid that he would distance himself even more, so I just had to sit and wait until...
"I think you need to make it more obvious that you are Uea's boyfriend."
Jade talked about the day Uea's ex came to bother him at the office, and I pretended to be his new boyfriend. I had always thought he wanted me to spend time with Uea, but it had never been that obvious until now.
"Do you think so?" I tightened my fingers around the steering wheel.
"Yeah, like if you go to dinner with Uea, you can post a couple of selfies together. I think that's enough to convince that guy. Maybe on Uea's birthday. That would be even more convincing." he said as I sat in silence.
He knows I like him, but he keeps pushing me away.
"Do you want me to go to dinner with P'Uea?" I repeated it and his response left me speechless.
"Already. You like him, don't you?"
Wait. Did you just say I like P'Uea?
I immediately parked the car right on the left side of the road, then turned to look at him. He looked a little panicked and uncomfortable again. Normally, I would have just let him go, but now I really couldn't.
"You misunderstood."
"Huh? Misunderstood what? As?"
"I thought you knew..." I said tiredly, finally understanding why he had been acting strangely. After all this time, I thought he knew I liked him, but in reality he understood that I was interested in Uea and he had always tried to help me.
Then I'll fix it right away.
"I can?" I asked before pressing my lips to the soft mouth of hers that I had wanted to touch for months. I savored the sweetness and couldn't get enough. He entertained me for quite a while, letting me get intoxicated by him, then I finally withdrew even though I didn't want to.
"Is it obvious now?" My eyes never left his face as my thumb slowly grazed his lips.
"I don't like P'Uea." I said slowly and clearly. His small narrow eyes widened as if he were losing consciousness. He was so adorable that I couldn't help but kiss his cheek one more time and whisper, "I like you."
There are no more misunderstandings now.
*********
But things didn't go as easily as I thought.
After kissing him, Jade clearly seemed to avoid me. At first I thought he was just caught off guard, but after several days I began to doubt.
"Don't think about it too much. Jade probably just needs some time." Uea told me. I tried not to think about it too much, but I couldn't help but think that Jade was avoiding me to reject me without saying it outright.
Sometimes silence is the clearest answer.
So I began to distance myself from him, hoping he would notice and care, but he showed no expression. Now it was clear that it had always been a one-sided love.
I had no right to be angry with him. It wasn't his fault. So all I could do was control my feelings and try not to make him uncomfortable anymore.
I had been in a relationship twice before, but in both cases both parties shared feelings even if they later faded, unlike this time. I finally understood what it meant to have one-sided love, and it was the hardest kind.
"Slow down, okay? You'll end up fainting."
King took the glass from my hand and placed it on the table. Surrounded by everyone clapping happily at my farewell party, I said goodbye to myself by taking that glass and drinking it in one gulp.
"This fucking stubborn kid. What the fuck is wrong with you, Mai? Are you heartbroken?" King asked.
I replied with a sigh.
"Jade didn't say anything?" Uea also asked. I poured another beer into my glass.
"Not yet."
"What the fuck is he waiting for?" King grumbled. I forced myself to smile.
"He probably doesn't want to hurt me."
"That's not it."
"Silence is also an answer, isn't it?" I asked them back and drank more. The scenery was getting blurry, he was telling me that the amount of alcohol in my veins was too much now, but that wasn't stopping me from drinking.
I just want to forget the reality, just for now it's okay anyway..
************
I regained consciousness in the car when I heard someone mutter my room number. After that, someone helped me up and dragged my heavy body forward. The faint smell of perfume tickled my nose and made me realize who was taking me.
My back lay on my bed. The blurry senses made me aware that someone was in the bed with me. I used all my strength to straddle him and hold him in my arms. Even though I couldn't see clearly, I could tell under the dim light that Jade was beneath me.
"P'Jade?" I asked slowly. I heard him answer, so I rested my head on his thin shoulder.
"P'Jade, don't you like me?"
"..."
"I like you... I mean it, you know?" I mumbled, feeling the warmth of his hand on my head. He said something, but now everything was fading away.
I opened my eyes when it was already late morning.
I saw his message, asking me to call him. I decided to text him to thank him and apologize instead of calling him back.
I made him uncomfortable. Besides, he had to bring me back here. What a mess I am.
My internship would be over in a week. At that point, Jade wouldn't have to feel uncomfortable anymore and I would try to live with it.
But I didn't expect him to come to my room and say he needed to talk to me.
I looked at myself in the mirror and brushed my messy hair. I at least wanted his to see me as good looking so he wouldn't feel worse.
I didn't know if he would notice, but I was anxious until we reached my apartment. I finally apologized for putting him in an uncomfortable situation and promised I wouldn't do it again.
"I do not think so." he said after Jade looking even sadder, and took my hand in hers.
"As well as?"
"It's not that... I don't like you."
"..."
"When you told me you liked me that day, I was surprised, because I never thought someone like you would be interested in someone like me."
"Why can't someone like me be interested in you?"
"Well, look at you. You're fucking perfect. And wonderful people are everywhere in the office. Who would ever dare to think that you could like someone as ordinary as me?"
He laughed dryly. I finally understood why he thought I liked Uea.
Now so much unsure of himself. He didn't even dare to think that anything special had ever been done for him.
I wanted to hug him so bad, but I was afraid I might make him feel bad. So I cheered him up and he smiled a little. That smile made my heart beat faster, but it also hurt.
It's okay if I end up hurting myself as long as he can smile.
"Don't think about it too much. It's okay even if you don't like me as if..."
"I like."
Those simple words made me throw away my entire prepared speech. I stood there in shock as I listened to his explanation.
Uea had always been right. He only avoided me because he didn't know how to behave, because he was shy.
Damn. Why did I think too much for so many days?
I tried my best not to smile, I felt so happy I could have screamed. Seeing those white cheeks turn red made me want to cuddle him here and now.
He has to be the cutest twenty-seven year old boy ever.
"So if I asked you to be your boyfriend, you wouldn't mind, right?"
"Well, c... Of course. Yes..." he stammered as his ears turned red.
I took a deep breath to calm my excitement, then leaned in to try something.
"I was really sad when you avoided me."
"I am sorry."
"I was so sad."
"I know, and I'm sorry."
"Can you make it up to me?"
I tried the same trick that worked on my family and smiled like a puppy. I knew he was kind-hearted. If I had begged him, he could have spoiled me.
"Kiss me... Please?"
I acted sadly. Hope filled my heart and it went as I expected. Even though Jade seemed so shy, he told me to close my eyes.
I wasn't wrong. He was like an innocent bunny and I took advantage of this by stealing more kisses from him than he gave me. His face went all red. He hugged me tight and buried his face in my chest, making me want to mess with him even more. I tried to steal another kiss, but after seeing how red he had become, I gave up.
Jade is my boyfriend now. Everything is fine. I still have a lot of time to play with this bunny.
********
"Mai, have you finished it yet?" the person next to me asked in a soft, reassuring voice. I turned to look at my boyfriend. He stared at my computer screen and kept asking, "Do you need my help?"
"There's no need. It's done." I said and saved the file. All around us were other employees gathering their things. I looked at the clock and saw Jade stretching. I could clearly see his slim waist.
King always made fun of him for being chubby. It meant he had no idea how small my boyfriend's waist was.
Is fantastic. It's better if I'm the only one who knows.
"What do you want to eat today? How about the new hotpot restaurant that just opened near the market?" He looked at me with sparkling eyes like a child.
"All right." I agreed easily. He smiled widely and quickly packed up his bag.
The truth was, I would follow him no matter what he said. Just looking at those shining eyes made me want to spoil him in every way possible.
I'm practically obsessed with my boyfriend.
"P'Jade."
"Yes, yes?"
"Where do we sleep tonight, my room or yours?" I asked as we walked to the parking lot. I saw that he looked disconcerted, it almost made me laugh.
One very adorable thing about him was that whenever I made him shy, he would act like he was indifferent or had no idea. He didn't realize that all the emotions he tried to hide were manifested through those eyes and those white cheeks that turned red almost immediately. Every time this happened, I couldn't help but want to tease him more.
It's becoming a bad habit now.
"Do you want to sleep with me?"
"Yes." I stated. At that time he was still trying to adjust to our relationship. As a boyfriend that he adapted quickly, I had to help him.
I only have good intentions, no other intentions. I really mean it.
"We've been sleeping in each other's arms for four nights now, maybe we should..."
"Don't you want to sleep with me holding you?" I asked. I didn't want his to feel uncomfortable.
"Uea. I like..."
The rest of the sentence was missing. I was staring at him standing there, and when he looked at me, suddenly he turned away.
He doesn't despise my touch. He's shy.
I took a deep breath and walked him to the car. Before taking him to the hotpot restaurant, I might have needed something sweet beforehand.
I looked at the boy in the passenger seat with a smile. He didn't know what was about to happen.
My boyfriend is so adorable. A couple of kisses on the lips and a dozen on the cheeks should cure my hunger for now, right? 🙂