Aster~
The sunlight glistened on my face. I heaved a sigh as today was my wedding. Who would have thought I would be getting married at the age of 20? Definitely not me. I wanted to proceed with my higher studies but it all came crashing down on the day I was informed of my marriage.
They basically signed me off to a wealthy man, Adagio Amato. I have known him since I was eleven years old. I would only see him occasionally. I hardly speak to him because he is too intimidating for someone like me.
His brothers on the other hand are just pure gold. Adagio is the eldest, Dax is the middle child and lastly Arlo, he is the youngest and the one I get along with the most. Adagio is 25, and Dax is 23 and Arlo is 22.
Adagio has a very quiet character, his cold intimidating gaze could make anyone piss their pants. He gives the driest replies to whatever question it may be. People would give up trying to speak to him. It's funny to watch them try and fail.
Adagio and his family are engaged in a huge business which makes them filthy rich. Whatever they owned screamed money and power. The amount of respect and power that family alone holds is ridiculous.
It made me wonder why they would marry me to him. With his charm, he could make girls beg for his pleasures. I know for a fact that there are richer families than mine. They could benefit the Amatos more than us.
There is no relation between him and me. The least we've interacted with each other is no more than a wave or eye contact. I wonder how he agreed to this marriage.
My brothers opposed this marriage more than I ever did. Carlos, Zaden, and Jason were furious when they found out about this arrangement. My papa stood his ground. I never disobeyed my parents and that turned into a habit of mostly accepting my fate.
If I don't go their way, they'll make me. So I stopped fighting even if it cost me my life. I accepted that this marriage was nothing and it wouldn't be a problem to be with him for a year or two. I almost gave up but I am still fighting for what I need.
I certainly don't need this marriage but it's going to happen sooner or later and I don't have anyone in mind to spend the rest of my life with nor do I wish to find one.
I came to know about this last week and today was my wedding, the 14th of May.
I wore this elegant wedding dress that was covered with heavy stones and glitter. It was designed with a beautiful sleeve until my forearm. My hair was put up in a bun decorated with flowers and pearls.
"My baby, you are looking beautiful" My mother looked at me through the mirror. Her eyes clogged with tears and her lips curved up into a smile. I smiled at her. Though they pushed me into this marriage with a stranger, they never failed to fill me with love and care.
"I'm sorry, dear" My mother's smile disappeared into a light frown "If anything happens, you can always come back to us" She gently placed a kiss on my head. This was enough for me to know they still cared and loved me. I certainly know there is something that forced them to push me into this.
I am still prying for the answers.
I heard the door squeak. My head turned to see my father walk in. As soon as he saw me, he gaped and mouthed 'My princess'. My vision got blurry as random thoughts clouded my mind giving my eyes the urge to rain.
I may not get to visit them as much. I'll miss all the dinners together and their gestures of showing love to me. I will miss my brothers very much. Any sibling would find it difficult to be apart from them. All those arguments and the tantrums once seemed annoying to me but now it's quite the opposite. I never expected a day I'd miss all of it so much.
"It's time" My Father quietly spoke. He wiped away his tears before he stretched out his hand for me. I smiled and I tried my best to force all the tears back in because of this expensive makeup on my face.
He smiled and helped me stand up. "Know that I will always love you" My father's voice creaked and it melted my heart. I felt a pang when I sensed guilt in his eyes. It conveyed everything his mouth couldn't. The apologetic look tore me.
The words I wanted to say were pushed back inside by my suppressed tears. If I talk now my eyes will rain.
"I know that, papa. I will always love you too, no matter what" I told him as I held his hand in my. My heart urged me to say that. After I saw the guilt in his eyes, I knew he thought I hated him for what he had done to me and I wanted to assure him that I didn't.
Just as I said that he broke into tears, slowly turning into sobs, I know it hurts for a father to see their child suffer because of them. "Papa please don't cry" I gently patted his back trying to ease him.
"I am just so proud of you" he uttered as he sadly smiled. Again he fought himself from spilling the truth and at the state he is in, I am in no mood to force it out of him. He concealed and he knows that I figured it out.
He and I walked down the aisle. Thousands of eyes gazed upon us making me anxious. I lifted my head to see the church filled with flowers and expensive decorations. The church looked beautiful and couldn't look more luxurious. I saw Adagio and he was already looking at me.
Suddenly I forgot how to breathe. Awkward. I looked away quickly and roamed my eyes everywhere but at him. He indeed looks breathtaking. It is not surprising because he looks like that 24/7 throughout.
My papa handed my hand to him which he gladly accepted. His warm hands circled mine sending a vibration through my body. I looked at him again to see him observing my face.
I don't know what he is feeling. It seems impossible to figure out what's going through this man's head.
"I Adagio Amato, take you, Aster Di Fazio, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part." He repeated after the priest without breaking eye contact and I had no other choice than to look right in his eyes.
For a minute, It all seemed real. But why?
Why does it feel real when reality itself is a lie? My emotions are playing with me. This is not right. Everyone here except for our family believes that this marriage is real and in love. It may look like we are in love but really this is no more than a mere contract and right now I am beyond uncomfortable.
I can see my brothers with a sad smile. At least they smiled on my wedding. Probably for the people to believe it's all real. I can see the sympathy in their eyes. It somehow begged me to scream and run away. But Mr. Amato's gaze said otherwise.
Now it's my turn to lie. Lie inside the church, in front of the altar. Way to go Aster!
Genuinely speaking, I have always feared god and this trial is me putting me to the test.
I should either run away and get my family killed or get punished by god. I think I choose the second option.
I heaved a heavy sigh before I spoke. I gathered my courage and faced him. I gave a little smile because contract or not, still my husband. He just looked at me and didn't return my smile. Felt stupid but I smiled because I wanted to and he would do it if he is willing to.
But funny how we are getting married even though neither of us wanted to.
"I Aster Di Fazio, take you, Adagio Amato, to be my husband to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part" I repeated and I could feel my eyes get wet.
I saw my mama and she smiled with tears in her eyes. Is it out of joy or guilt? My papa was tearing up just like others. He smiled at me once our eyes connected. I smiled and a tear slipped out of my eye. It's hard to see my family like this.
With fake smiles and unhappiness on my big day which was supposed to be filled with joy and bliss.
I looked at Adagio, he kept his gaze lifted and listened to what the priest had to say. I could see his jawline and his manly neck. I quickly turned away when he suddenly turned to me with the ring in his hands.
He slid it onto my finger and gave a light squeeze making my heart rate go a bit higher than usual. I internally gasped. I lifted my gaze to him. I could say he saw the shock on my face by the smirk that grew on his face.
We exchanged our rings. Our hand was clasped together. My breathing became unstable when I realized what the next part was.
"By the power vested in me by God and man, I pronounce you wife and husband. What God has joined together, let no man put asunder. You may now kiss the bride." The priest announced.
My palms started to sweat and I knew he could also feel it. My eyes roamed around the room prying for help. My first kiss. Is this how I am going to lose my first kiss?
This is bad. My heart started beating fast and I could feel it against my chest. His hands left mine and snaked my waist. He leaned in and pulled me closer to him. He guided my other hand to his shoulder and placed my hand there.
He didn't take his eyes off of me. His eyes didn't have any feeling. Just emptiness and void. I involuntarily moved back only to be stopped going further by his strong grip on my back. I am fighting, struggling not to give in.
He probably thinks I was being stupid and wondered why I was struggling. Fear was visible in my eyes. I tried to push back with my hand but it didn't work. But rather was drawn closer to him. He took the opportunity and pressed his lips to mine.
My eyes widened in shock, disbelief, and disgust. The second I felt his lips on mine the first thought that came into my mind was 'Crap'.
He moved his lips so passionately, almost making me wonder if he liked me at some point. But we all know that isn't possible. He is a man with experience. As he kissed me, my tummy knotted and my heart rate rose rapidly reflecting on my breathing.
He broke the kiss and looked at me. He just deleted my brain. I am blank, just void in my head. I gazed at him cluelessly. I am trying to process it. My head turned to the crowd when the church filled with applause and cheers.
I felt his hand grab onto mine and caressed it. If he thinks this act of his is making me feel calm and relaxed, he is so wrong. It's only making this even worse. We together walked back to the door.
We took pictures with our family and left for our reception. I had to change into another dress. It was one hell of a reception. The place was packed with people. People congratulated us.
I pretty much stood in the same place that night. Adagio was busy with the guests and so was my family.
My college friends came in and gave me company until they had to leave. I did tell them about the contract though I shouldn't. I trust them. They consoled me and told me it would be fine. Of course, it will be... When we get a divorce.
I can't get my head around the fact that this has something to do with more than just money. Or maybe just money but it seems to have a bigger story behind it. How do I know it? My guts tell me so.
Just the look in my parent's eyes tells me there is something deeper than just this contract marriage.
"Hello, Aster!" A voice chirped joyfully breaking me out of my thoughts. It was an unfamiliar face that awfully looked just like mine. A silent gasp left my mouth in shock. "How are you?" She hugged me and I was quite confused.
She seems to know me and she happened to be a stranger to me. "Hello," I said unsure whether or not I should be talking to them. But I didn't want to be rude after all it was my wedding they were here for.
"I'm good...And how are you...?" I paused indirectly asking for her name as I hugged her back. "Alora" She broke the hug and smiled at me. "I am good, dear," she said and held my hand. She smiled and looked at me as though she longed to see me for ages. Slowly her eyes started tearing up.
I am speechless and out of ideas on how to act right now. I looked at her dumbfounded until two other people walked up to us. "Hey there" A male waved his hands at me and I nodded "Hello". He was tall and fair with dirty blond hair with blue eyes. He smiled at me and I could see his eyes sadden and start to fill with water.
Good heavens. What on earth is going on here? "Aster you look beautiful," said another fella, who was neatly groomed. He had blue eyes as well, dark hair, and a beautiful smile. "Thank you uh.."
"Ace" he uttered " Thank you Ace" I replied with a polite smile and I thanked god that he didn't tear up as well.
"And I am Matteo," The latter said. "Well, nice to meet you all" I tried to sound as genuine as possible, but I don't think it got them. "I knew you since you were a kid" Alora, I suppose said and chuckled.
And I had to give her one of my fake ones and ignore the awkward air that started choking me. "I am sorry, I don't remember" I stated and cringed.
"No biggie. You were only a baby" She said "Mind if we could be friends?" She smiled. I saw hope in her eyes and I didn't want to disappoint her. "Of course!" I exclaimed. I was pretty excited too. Apart from Jessica and Candis, I had no other friends.
"Count me in" Ace said. "Me too!" Matteo seemed excited too. His reaction got a genuine chuckle out of me. "You all are my friends now" I smiled and my eyes beamed with happiness.
We spoke for a while. I got to know a lot about them in our first hour of friendship and I am looking forward to more. They are siblings, but I mistook one of them to be Alora's husband. They lived in Italy and they came here to Paris, especially for my wedding. I felt very special when I heard it because unknown people came from Italy to Paris just to see my wedding.
But it's probably because of Adagio.
I wonder if they know anything about the contract.
Their parents sadly passed away. I told them I used to live in Italy but I had to move to Paris because of my father's business.
Alora seems to a very joyful girl with a smile on her face always. And Matteo looks like the type to get along with everyone and to joke around too much.
Ace on the other hand, he looks scary and intimidating but he is pretty chill once you talk to him. But he has a quiet nature just like Adagio and is strict when it comes to work.
He yelled at more than 4 of his employees that night. Expects discipline, I guess.
We have a house in Italy. It is pretty big with vineyard and horses. My brothers and I would always play in the fields. Happy memories remain alive always.
That night was fun, apart from the wedding. I made new friends and my boredom was washed away. At least I have something to remember about this awful day.
Later that night, after everything was over. I bid goodbye to my family and spilled some bitter tears. I got inside the car with Adagio. I have not spoken to him since the day I knew about the contract even though he was around.
Funny how we kissed in our first conversation, referring to the vow we said at our wedding. First talked with him and we kissed. It was awkward to be alone with him but I was too exhausted to care about it.
I sighed as I remembered how much I cried a week ago about this marriage and I am here after the marriage and I am going home... Not home... going to his place.
I was indeed exhausted but I was feeling talkative. I am an extreme extrovert. Though people fear to talk to him without purpose I wasn't. Maybe I was. But What could possibly go wrong?
"How was today?" I asked, I was getting quite bored. I thought sleep would consume me but it betrayed me. There's too much on my mind to sleep peacefully. I felt his glance on me which made me turn to him. "Good" He uttered and focused on driving.