The last 2 days have been longer than any before.
But, the night was finally here and I drove up to the theatre with a large lump in my throat.
My hair was freshly cut and I wore my best suit in case she does see me. I want to look my best and when I see her, but I'm not sure what I'll do.
Even though I told her to make it count and live her life without me, I hoped that perhaps she wasn't in a relationship because all I wanted was to kiss her once more and love her again. This was a second chance to love her and I'll love her every single day.
I checked my watch quickly while fixing my hair.
5:30
I went early so I can get a better chance to see her and give her a chance to see me.
I hopped out of my car and walked slowly up the the line of people. The old man was right and many of the people seemed excited and giddy. There wasn't too much of a crowd, but enough to make me a little far from the doors of the building. I frowned and stood there waiting for her face.
The line extended from the entrance and down the sidewalk. It was about 30ft long with at least 50 people waiting, for now. Many more cars showed up with many more fans waiting.
I was proud of Rose. She had so many fans and the fame was all she ever wanted. I remembered when we were walking on the decks of the Titanic and how she told me that she wanted more than to be a little wife. She said she wanted to travel the world and become a moving picture actress. She did it. Her bravery was far more than I thought and I only loved that more.
Suddenly, the crowd roared as a black, shining car drove up to the entrance. My heart jumped and I held tightly onto the bouquet of roses in my hand to give to her. My smile grew until my cheeks became sore and I forced myself to not run up to her.
There she was, her red hair striking over her black dress. She was stunning and her smile grew into it's beautiful way upon her face. The red lipstick contrasting with her beautiful hair and her eyes shone.
But suddenly, a man appeared from inside the car. He came out and took hold of her pale hand. I frowned and watched her kiss the man deeply.
She was in a relationship?
My heart dropped and I felt ridiculous for ever thinking that she'll love me again.
She did make it count, like I told her, but I wanted to love her again.
Feeling like a fool, I thought of just leaving her alone. She was alive and that alone gave me peace, but her life was figured out already and I didn't know if I should barge in.
I was going to turned and leave, but her eyes met mine and her smile dropped. I saw the way all of the color from her face grew away and the way she looked so perplexed.
About 20 feet away from each other, she left her little crowd of actors and came straight up to me with an opened mouth.
"Jack?" She quivered. I held out the flowers for her to take. He soft hands took hold of the flowers with a small red ribbon wrapped around them. She smiled and looked at me with confused eyes.
"I knew you would make it count." I grinned and she wrapped her arms around me while gasping for air. My heart stopped and realized that she is with me once again. When we pulled away, her eyes were filled with tears. I pulled out a small handkerchief and held it to her beautiful face.
"Don't want to ruin your makeup." I smiled and she looked at me with a dreamy look. As if she didn't know if this was real or not. She didn't let go of my hand and embraced me as if she lost me for centuries. It remind me of the way I embraced her by the grand staircase when she jumped off the lifeboat to be with me. Her voice shifted into a low whisper.
"This can't be." She held her perfectly painted nails up to her mouth, holding it. They matched her lips perfectly and I realized how much she really has grown. I saw more details than the poster and she turned into a beautiful, young woman.
"10 years, Rose." I said and she came out of her dream, realizing how strange it all was. Her face showed the way she looked at me with regret.
"You look so different." She grinned and I took some time to look at all of her different features than from the last time I've seen her.
Her hair wasn't a mess of curls and was controlled into small waves. It was parted and her eyes shined in a more green tone. Her face was more sharp and she was so much taller. Her smile was the same, but much more brighter.
"You too." I said. As I held her hand, I looked down and felt a wave of embarrassment come over me. Her other hand held tightly on the roses. Looking back up to her, I saw the large regret in her eyes. She looked guilty and I didn't blame her. This was what I feared. Bringing guilt to her face.
"I didn't know." She frowned. "That you were..." She trailed off and I only smiled.
"It's alright, Rose. You made it count. That's all that I ever want." I whispered and she turned around to her boyfriend looking at her with a confused face.
"Gorge." She turned and let go of my hand. "Um, this is Jack Dawson. He is an old friend that I've met on the Titanic." She grinned and I felt my heart jump. George's face turned into a respectable state to think that I survived. Rose must have told him about it all.
"No, it's Jack Bukater now." I said quietly feeling embarrassed once more. She looked at me with loving eyes and smiled.
"Jack, this is Gorge Calvert." She said and I shook hands with the young, handsome man with brown hair and a tall, built body.
"Wonderful to meet you." I frowned and looked at Rose once more. The long memories came back from between us like a wave. The first class dinner, third class dancing, the time we flew on the front of the ship, and when I took hold of her hand before she fell off the back of the ship.
"Well." Gorge said, breaking the memories that Rose and I shared. "The fans are waiting to see the movie."
"Gorge, go without me." Rose said quickly. My heart stopped and I took a step back.
"Rose, I think it's best-" I began.
"No, Jack. We need to catch up." She gave me an angry, rebellious look that reminded me of her old self. It made me laugh on the inside.
"Gorge, please." She grinned and he nodded. Not wanting to have her blow up: he gave her a small kiss on her cheek and left us.
Rose took hold of my hand and pulled me away from the crowd. Looking back at the many people, I felt a pain of guilt. They just wanted to see her, but I was taking her away. Well, she was leaving them to be honest.
"Where's your car?" She smiled and I lead her to it.
Helping her inside, I never realized until now how amazing of a person she is. She gave up her premier for me and I felt how much love she has for me.
We pulled into traffic while she played with the roses. We didn't speak until I asked her where we were going.
"So, Rose." Her face came into my sideview and she smiled once more. "Where are we heading?"
"How about a quiet restaurant?" She said and in minutes I parked in front of a cafe for some coffee.
I took her hand and helped her into a chair on the outside seating area. I ordered some coffee and in doing so, never lost Rose's eye contact. I couldn't stop staring, she was absolutely stunning.
"So, how's life?" She grinned and I begin to ring my hands from nervousness.
"Well." I cleared my throat and glance down. I was a nervous wreck. "I paint for a living and make plenty from it. Like I say, I'm the next Monet. You and Gorge are welcomed to visit my mansion on Long Island at anytime. Anyways, to be truthful I've been in therapy."
"Therapy? Jack, for what?"
"Missing you." I said slowly and she blinked her eyes, trying to take it in. Once the coffee came, all we did was take long sips and look around, wandering our eyes away from each other. We felt so much tension and I didn't know why we couldn't just get back to the old ways. I guess because we grew up and we knew more about consequences.
"So, what about you?" I asked and she she gave me a nervous grin.
"Well, when we boarded New York, I started working on my acting career. I made about 12 movies and been on a few radio shows. At first I was living in Hollywood, but something told me to come back here. It felt like home. So, I bought a nice, large apartment. Oh, Jack it's all I ever wanted for my life. Thank you, again, for saving me all those years ago. I shouldn't have tried to kill myself."
"You saved me." I said quietly and she nervously smiled again. "And you and Gorge?" I added quickly while readjusting my chair.
"He was one of the co-stars on one of the movies I stared in." She looked around feeling completely ashamed. Her hand pressed her forehead and she gave me a perplexed face. "I'm sorry Jack, this must be so strange-"
"No, no." I smiled and she stopped her nervous movements. "It's fine, so do you love him?"
"Excuse me?"
"Do you love him?" I said once more. I regretted the words almost immediately.
"Um, yes." She stuttered and took a long sip of the coffee. "We have only been dating for a few months."
"I'm sorry, that was rude of me."
"No, It's fine." She smiled and raised a brow. "Any women in your life?"
"No, all I could think about was you." I said honestly and she glance around. Looking for something to stop the awkwardness.
"Oh." She said quickly. "Why, that shouldn't be. You're such a catch." I laughed and looked up at the sky to see the stars coming out.
"Remember that time on the Titanic, when we danced?" I asked. I watched her look up with and smile. The bright stars became clearer and I remembered when I thought I was going to die and all I did was watch the stars and listen to her singing.
"Come Josephine, in my flying machine." She sung in her beautiful voice.
"And up she goes, up she goes." I finished and we looked at each other with sadness from the wonderful memories that we both missed so dearly. I have her right in front of me, but she loves another. Yet, I didn't blame her and I was happy for her. But I was deeply disappointed.
What happened next came in slow motion as she leaned closer making me fallow. I took her hands and I kissed her once more. It felt like a long time since I've done so and I missed it so. I pulled away abruptly when I realized what I was doing. She was already taken and here I was being so uncivilized.
"I'm sorry, Rose. You are with Gorge, I should know that." I said quickly and stood up.
"I'll give you my number, will you call me?" She stood up as well and I placed the money for the coffee down, then walked her to the car.
"Of course. Perhaps we can meet up some other time." I smiled, but she looked at me with loving eyes. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me again. Over an over, she couldn't let go and I fell in love with her all over again. She pulled away and I felt her pain on how caught up she was. I know she loves Gorge, but she loves me too.
"Jack, I love you." She whispered.
"Rose, please." I begged. I didn't want her to change her whole life just to run back to the past. She was just confused and it could ruin her. "Think of Gorge."
She pushed me away abruptly and looked at me with a terrified face.
"Jack, why did you show up?" She said sharply. "What did you expect?" My throat went dry and she crossed her arms. Her brows raised in anger and she gave me a nasty look.
"Rose, I don't want to get in the way of anything you already have." I took a step back. I know what this woman was capable of in order to get what she desired and I wasn't ready for her to blow up.
"Get in the way?" She said loudly. "Jack, I thought you loved me?" I felt a stab in my heart and as if she just slapped me in my face.
"Rose, I thought you were dead for 10 years. I couldn't tell myself it was true. Rose, I want you to think through some things and find out truly what you want." I explained. She frowned and jumped into the car, slamming the door. I sighed as realized that this was for her own good.
Driving back was filled with silence and the awkward glances at each other. I felt a giant weight on my shoulders and even though I love her, I don't want to see her get hurt. She needs to understand that.
When we pulled up to the theatre, the line was gone and I knew that the movie was playing. She threw the roses at me in anger and opened the car door. I felt my heart break and she came out, slamming the door once again. She walked around the car quickly and came to the window on my side, her heels slamming the cement pavement. Her face inches away from mine.
"Jack, I love you and always have. Once you make up your mind, call me." She said sharply and threw a small peace of paper at me. I looked at it to see her name and number printed on. I frowned and placed it in my suit pocket.
"Rose, I just want what's best."
"You don't know me." She said in a raging voice.
"I do." I said calmly and her face softened. "What would you be if I never showed up? With him."
"Goodnight." She said sharply and ran off to the building.
"You know I'm right!" I yelled and took a long breath. Her figure disappeared though the doors. I then slammed my hand down onto the dashboard. I felt hot, angry tears fall and I felt like I lost her again.
I came here to see her once more and make myself feel better on how much she has changed, but now I feel so much worse.